by Vikki Vaught
Melody went over to where the girls were playing and kneeled down. They showed her the dollhouse and all their beautiful dolls. Then they went to the little table and chairs, and invited Melody to tea. She spent an hour, watching and playing with her children, and then she left to go back to her rooms.
Mary was in the drawing room, along with the others, when Melody joined them. She could tell that Mary was having a difficult time of it. Her eyes held so much sadness that Melody’s heart went out to her. The duchess was sitting in her usual place and had a condescending expression on her face. It was clear that she did not think very much of either of her daughters-in-law. It seemed some things never changed. Henry came in, and then Simpson announced dinner, so he escorted his mother to the dining room, and the other ladies followed.
Dinner was pleasant, and the food was marvelous. Cook made all of Henry’s favorite foods, and she even fixed cherry compote for dessert, which had always been Melody’s favorite. When the meal had ended, the duchess stood up and indicated it was time to leave Henry to his port, so all the ladies went to the drawing room.
Mary sat alone, so Melody went over and sat beside her, then said, “It’s good to see you again. The last time we saw each other was in London, shortly before I received the news about Henry’s supposed death. I’m so sorry for your loss. I thought the world of Nelson and was very saddened when I heard he had passed away. I understand what you’re going through, and if there is anything I can do for you, please let me know. When I thought Henry had died, I felt such incredible pain that I wasn’t sure I could go on. The only thing that held me together, was knowing that I was going to have his child. You were visiting your brother, Lieutenant Bronson, when he was stationed in Canterbury. How is your brother, ma’am?”
With sadness in her eyes, Mary replied, “My brother is doing well. He came back from the war but lost his left arm. He is working as a secretary for the Earl of Overton. I appreciated you introducing me to Susan. We continued to work together at the orphanage. I thought you were so kind to me, and now we are sisters-in-law.”
Helen came over and asked Mary if she would play the pianoforte. Mary went over and began to play; she was fabulous. She may well have been the best pianist Melody had ever heard. Henry joined them, and they all sat and listened to Mary. Even the duchess seemed to enjoy the music. When Mary finished playing, everyone decided it was time for bed. Henry escorted Melody to her room, kissed her cheek, and wished her a good night. Then he walked down the hall to his room and went inside to his lonely bed.
CHAPTER 19
July 1818
EVERYDAY, HENRY SPENT quite a bit of his time with his secretary. He also rode out to check on his tenants and got to know them better. Many he remembered from when he was a lad, but some were new to him. All of them needed something. They were having a hot, dry summer, and they feared that their crops would not be good this year. Henry assured them that if the crops were not good, he would waive or reduce their rents for the year. Henry thought about Melody constantly. He wanted to go to her, and yet he was still struggling with forgiving her. They spent very little time together, and Henry regretted this. There was no way they could get through this if they did not communicate. It was obviously his fault, because Melody had made several attempts to talk with him, but he always made up an excuse as to why he did not have the time. God, why couldn’t he just get over it and move on? After all, he was supposedly dead, and Melody had the right to get on with her life. So what, if she did not grieve for a long time! Would he have really wanted her to spend the rest of her life alone? Would he really be so selfish that he would deny his daughter a father’s love? All this made sense to Henry, but for some reason, he could not get over being jealous that Melody had been with another man.
Henry made up his mind that he would quit avoiding her and that he would start spending more time with her. He also needed to try to get to know his daughter. He had barely spent anytime with her since he had found out that she was his. Since it was such a beautiful day, he would go to the house and get Cook to fix a lunch and take Melody and the children out for a picnic. Henry turned his horse around and headed back to the house.
Melody was in the nursery, playing with the children when Henry found her. She looked so lovely sitting at the child’s table, playing tea with the girls. Melody looked surprised when she saw him. It was the first time he had visited the nursery.
Henry walked over to the table, smiled at them, and said, “May I join you ladies for some tea?” Mary Elizabeth looked up at him with her gorgeous blue eyes and nodded her head. He kneeled down beside her, and his daughter pretended to pour him some tea, and then she handed him a tiny cup. Henry had a hard time holding the cup, but he managed somehow, and he pretended to drink. Mary Elizabeth started to giggle and got a big smile on her face.
“How would you lovely ladies like to go on a picnic with me today? I’ve just been outside and decided that it was too lovely of a day to spend it alone. What do you say? Will you come with me?” Henry asked as he smiled at his beautiful daughter.
Melody looked at Henry and smiled as she replied, “Thank you, kind sir. That would be delightful.”
Mary Elizabeth turned to Henry and asked, “Can my fiend An … ge … wa come too?”
“Of course, she can. In fact, all of you can come. Roderick, would you like to come on our picnic?” Henry asked.
Roderick nodded his head, so they all headed out to the grounds for the picnic. Henry made arrangements for the pony cart to be brought around, and they all got in. When they arrived at the lake, Melody laid out the blanket. Brandon was fascinated with the grass and kept trying to pull it out of the ground and put it in his mouth. Every time she would get him back on the blanket, he would take off again; he was just too fast for her. Henry kept running and picking him up and carrying him back to the blanket. Roderick was skipping rocks and really doing it quite well. Mary Elizabeth and Angela were playing “Ring around the Rosie.” Finally, Brandon fell asleep, and then Henry and Melody were able to relax a bit and talk. Henry found that he enjoyed being with her and the children. He realized that he had never been on a picnic with children before, and it was fun. Melody had a big smile on her beautiful face, and she was laughing at all the antics of the girls. Soon, it was time to eat, so she called the children over. Cook had packed roasted chicken, cheese, bread, and fresh fruit with a jug of apple cider to drink. Everyone enjoyed the meal, and Brandon woke up and ate his share too. Melody had to pull the chicken into little bite-size pieces for him. After everyone was finished eating, the girls laid down and fell asleep. Roderick went back to skipping rocks. Melody cradled Brandon in her lap. As Henry watched Melody, he could see what a good mother she was and she obviously loved her children very much.
As Melody rocked Brandon in her lap, she said, “I’m glad you thought of the picnic, Henry. This is the first picnic I’ve been on in several years. Remember the picnics we used to have in Hyde Park? We had so much fun that summer.”
“I remember how much fun I had watching you enjoy yourself, just like you’ve done today. I realized something: if we don’t spend time together, how can we possibly hope to overcome our difficulties? I have made up my mind that we should spend more time together. I need to get to know my daughter. Melody, she’s so beautiful, and I’m so pleased that we had a child. I don’t think that I’ve told you that. Can we start to get to know each other again?” he asked, while looking into her gorgeous sherry-colored eyes.
Brandon started fussing a bit so Melody picked him up and placed him on her shoulder, which seemed to calm him down again, and then she said, “I’m thrilled that you want to spend time with me. I’ve been very distressed and worried because I knew you were avoiding me. I agree that the only way to move on is to get to know each other again. What was it like when you were in Brussels?”
As Henry watched her with Brandon, he said, “It was very frustrating to not know who I was. The monks were dedicated men, and they
lived together in such harmony. It was a very peaceful and fulfilling life, but I just knew there was something different for me. I could feel that I was used to a much more energetic life than the one I was living with them. I did their bookkeeping, so it helped me feel that I was contributing something, since they had taken me in. Father Francis and I would get into deep philosophical discussions, and I learned to be patient. I realized that I was not a very patient person by nature. When my memory returned, all I could think about was getting back to you.”
With a sympathetic expression in her lovely eyes, Melody replied, “I can just imagine how frustrating it must have been to have no memory at all. I’m sure it was shocking when you did get your memory back to find out so much time had passed.”
Glancing over at Roderick, making sure he was all right, he continued, “When Father Francis told me I had been with them for two and a half years, my first thought was of you. I knew you must have thought I was dead after so much time. Then when I found out they had even brought back a body when I got back, well, needless to say, I realized why you believed I was dead. All I wanted to do was get to you. It was so exasperating when I kept running into obstacles that kept me from coming to you. I knew I couldn’t leave Nelson, but I was torn, because I wanted to come get you. I hated to see Nelson in so much pain. God, I wondered so many times, why him. Nelson was a wonderful brother to my sisters and me, and I felt it was so unfair that just when he had found someone to love, he became so ill. I spend time with him everyday before he died. He asked me to take care of his Mary, because he loved her very much, and it was clear that she loved him deeply. She would bring the children to see him in the morning when he was feeling his strongest.”
Melody kept Brandon entertained while they talked, and then she said, “I’m still struggling with accepting that Nelson is gone. I don’t know what I would have done without him. I just collapsed during your funeral, and he had to hold me to keep me from falling. I’m sure his death must have devastated your father.”
With a look of utter sadness, Henry replied, “Father was a broken man. Melody, he apologized to me and said that the reason he had been so hard on me was because I reminded him of himself when he was young. He told me he was proud of the man I had become, and he spent every morning working on estate business with me. He wanted to try to prepare me for the role of duke, since I had never been involved in running this huge operation. Father knew he was going to die soon. He told me he had been having heart palpitations for quite some time. I felt terrible that I couldn’t do more. He told me to go get you and bring you home, just as soon as we laid Nelson to rest. Of course, it took a fortnight after his death before I was able to leave.”
Melody gazed at Henry and said, “I’m so glad your father made his peace with you before he died. I’m sure that meant the world to you. I can just imagine how awful it was when you received the news about his heart attack. At least you were able to see him before he died.”
Henry felt his heart ache at the mention of his father as he said, “Thank God, I got here before he died. He woke up and tried to talk to me, but he was just too weak. He passed away a few days later while I was sitting with him. After the funeral, I had so many things to do. I had to visit all the properties spread out all across England. I left Doncaster Stables last, because I knew that Lincolnshire was close by. When I went to your parents’ house, and found out they had both died, I panicked because the new vicar didn’t know where you had gone. I remembered Susan was from there, so I went to see her mother. She was the one that gave me your address. When I got to your house, and found you so ill, I almost came apart at the thought of losing you, just when I had found you again. I felt as if I were living through hell here on earth, and wondered when it would all stop. Melody, I know I have been very unfair to you about what happened. I guess I’m a very selfish man, because I can’t stand the idea that you were with another man. I know we can get through this, as long as we both try. Now tell me how it was for you.”
Melody looked over at the girls, making sure they were still asleep, and then she said, “I was at Sanderford Park. Kathryn and I had come back from London the middle of May. I had never intended to go for the season … I just went so that I could be there for Helen, and so Kathryn could go. The day Nelson came home unexpectedly, I sensed something was terribly wrong immediately. He asked to speak with me in the study. His face had such a serious expression, and his eyes were full of pain. I didn’t want to believe him at first. I kept insisting that it was a mistake, because I didn’t feel that you were dead. I just knew I should have felt it, if it were true. When he told me, what Captain Hayden had said and how he had brought your body back that was when I started to believe. He found one of my letters on the ground beside the body, and that is what finally convinced me. I just wish I had demanded to see the body, because then I would have known it wasn’t you.”
“Melody, I’m sure they wouldn’t have let you see the body, even if you had asked. From what I understand, the fellow’s face was completely destroyed. Nelson would never have wanted you to see something like that. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.” Henry reached over and gently touched her face, and Melody looked relieved that he seemed to understand what she went through.
Melody met his gaze as she said, “Once the funeral was over, all I could think about was getting to my parents. I just knew that I would be all right if I just got to them. Nelson was wonderful. I cried the whole way to Lincolnshire, and I kept throwing up every time I tried to eat anything. I couldn’t even keep water down. By the time we got to my parents, I was very ill. My parents were afraid that I would lose the child, but once I found out about the baby, it was as if I willed myself to get well. I started eating and refused to be sick any longer. I would fight the nausea. Everyday, I felt a little bit better until I was recovered physically, but mentally, I was broken. I cried until there were no more tears to cry. As the months went by, and I began to see the baby growing inside me, it got a little better. When I felt the baby move for the first time, I felt such joy. I knew you would live on through our child. It helped tremendously to have Brandon to talk with. As he had lost his wife, he understood what I was going through. Without him, I don’t know that I would have been able to survive the grief.”
Henry looked anguished as he said, “God, why did this have to happen? Neither one of us deserved to have to go through this. I’m sure you gained comfort from talking with Brandon since he had recently lost Lily, but as I said before; I just wish you hadn’t married him. I hope you didn’t have too difficult of a time having Mary Elizabeth. I’m relieved that you had your mother with you for her birth.”
Brandon tried to crawl away, but Melody stopped him, and then replied, “I had an easy delivery, only six hours, and when I saw her, I saw you in her face. She had your red gold curls and your penetrating blue eyes. I thanked God everyday for giving me such a precious gift. I began to feel the pain of losing you lessen, once I had our daughter. She became my reason for living.”
Henry smiled over at her and said, “I’m glad you had her. I just wish I could have been there when she was born. It must have been extremely difficult to lose both your parents at once. I do realize you had quite a few terrible events happening close together.”
“My parents got influenza, and they died two weeks apart. My father died first and then my mother. The only thing that kept me going was our daughter. That was when I truly got scared, because as I told you before, I found out that all I had was five hundred pounds and a few pieces of furniture. I know now that I wasn’t thinking clearly. Of course, you wouldn’t have left me without resources. I should have realized it then, but unfortunately, I didn’t. When I moved into that cottage, I was very frightened because I had never lived alone before. Brandon was such a good friend to me. I hate to think what I would have done if I hadn’t had his help. When he came to me and asked me to marry him, my first reaction was a resounding no, but then I thought of my choices
, and there were only two in my mind at the time. Either contact your family or marry Brandon. I really did fear your parents. I never told you how bad it really was living with them. I prayed about it and asked God to help me make the right decision. When I woke up the next morning, I knew that marrying Brandon was the right thing to do. Mary Elizabeth needed a father, and I admit it, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life alone. We married quietly, and we immediately moved to Doncaster. Brandon left it up to me to tell him when I was ready to consummate the marriage. Truthfully, I never wanted to consummate the marriage, but I knew that it wouldn’t be fair to him. I had taken vows and would stand behind them. Brandon made it easy for me, because he wasn’t a very demanding man. Making love with him was pleasant, but nothing remotely like the passion we shared and still do, if the other day was an example. I found out I was with child shortly before Christmas. This time, I recognized the signs much faster. We had a good marriage. It was very peaceful, and I was content.” Henry knew he had to be understanding, but it tore him up when she talked about her marriage to Brandon. Oh god, why couldn’t he move past this!
Melody checked on the girls again, and they were still sleeping, so she continued, “When Brandon died, I found out again that I was in for hard financial times. All I had were some investments, and there was one thousand pounds in his account. I wondered again how I would make it. I didn’t deal well with his death. At first, I was very melancholy, and I wasn’t eating enough, but then I told myself that I had to go on for the sake of the children. It was shortly after that, that I became ill. Well, the rest you know, so that’s my story.”