Act of Contrition

by Linda Rettstatt

  Jaclyn’s mouth pulled into a smile that reminded Jenny of a barracuda. “When will he be home?”

  Jenny checked her watch. “A couple of hours. He should be here by six if there’s no problem with his flight.”

  Jaclyn sat on the sofa and Kari crawled into her lap. “You’ll wrinkle Mama’s skirt. Sit here beside me.” She lifted the child from her lap and set her on the sofa at her side.

  Kari stared up at her mother and shoved a thumb into her mouth. Jaclyn tugged the digit free. “Don’t suck your thumb. You’re a big girl now. Remember?”

  Jenny wanted to throttle the woman. “Jaclyn, I’m Jenny Barnes, a friend of Patrick’s. I agreed to stay here with Kari while he’s away. I was just about to put a load of sheets into the wash. I’ll leave you to visit with Kari.”

  After casting Jenny a brief glance, Jaclyn turned her attention to Kari. Jenny noticed how Jaclyn seemed to avoid making physical contact with the child. Anger ignited in her as she carried the basket through the kitchen and into the laundry. She retrieved her cell phone from the kitchen table and dialed Patrick, but her call went directly to voicemail.

  Jenny walked back into the living room to find Jaclyn searching the hall closet.

  “Can I help you?”

  “I need a jacket for Kari. I’m taking her out for a while.”

  “You can’t do that.”

  Jaclyn turned and glared at her. “Excuse me? I am her mother and I most certainly can take my daughter out for the afternoon and for dinner.”

  “Patrick left her in my care, and I’m not comfortable handing her over to a stranger. Besides, she’s had an ear infection.”

  “I’m not a stranger to Kari. Are you telling me Patrick left our sick child with a babysitter for several days while he flew out of the country?”

  “No. She was feeling better, but…” Jenny wondered if the woman knew Patrick had been in Grand Cayman to finalize obtaining full custody of Kari. “She should be fine, but may I suggest protecting her ears if it gets cool out? The winds coming off the bay kick up this time of the day.” Jenny reached into the open closet and produced a small pink hoodie. She handed it to Jaclyn. “Will you be back by six when Patrick will be home?”

  “I’ll return when we’ve had dinner. Now, it sounds like your wash is in the rinse cycle, and you’ll want to add fabric softener to those sheets. Patrick likes soft sheets.” She took Kari by the hand. “Come with Mama, Karina. We’ll see if there’s any place decent in this town to have dinner.”

  Jenny couldn’t stop Jaclyn from taking her own daughter to dinner, but she damned well wasn’t going to let them out of her sight. Forgetting the laundry, Jenny grabbed her purse and car keys. She followed Jaclyn through town and into the parking lot of the diner. Once Jaclyn and Kari were inside, Jenny pulled her cell phone from her pocket and called Patrick again.

  Surprisingly, he answered. “Jen, is everything okay?”

  “I thought you’d be in the air.”

  “I was able to get onto an earlier flight. I should be home in twenty minutes. What’s up?”

  She told him about Jaclyn’s arrival. “Patrick, I’m sorry. She’s at the diner. I couldn’t stop her.”

  “Well, I can. I’ll be right there.”

  Fifteen minutes later, Patrick slammed the door of the truck and stalked across the parking lot toward the diner. He stopped first beside Jenny’s car. “Are they still in there?”

  “Yes. But you probably need to cool down before you go inside. If you make a scene, you’ll just frighten Kari.”

  He slammed his hand on the hood of the vehicle. “Jaclyn had no right to come and take her.”

  Jenny stepped out of the car. “Patrick, take a breath. She’s only having dinner with Kari. I’m sure she knows I followed them.”

  He pushed off from the car. “I’m going inside and getting my daughter.”

  “I’m coming with you.” Jenny had to run to keep up with him. And she had no idea what she would do once they were inside.

  Patrick stepped inside, settled his gaze on the booth where Jaclyn and Kari were seated, then strode toward them. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he demanded.

  Jaclyn looked up and smiled. “I’m having dinner with my daughter. Would you like to join us?”

  Kari grinned up at him and said with delight, “Mama here.”

  “Yes, I see that Mama’s here. That was a surprise, wasn’t it?” He kept his voice remarkably calm.

  Shelly stepped around him to set plates of food on the table. “Patrick, can I get you anything?”

  “No, thank you. I won’t be staying. And you can put Kari’s dinner in a take-out box, please.”

  Jaclyn’s face darkened. “She’s not going anywhere. You left the country and left her in the care of a stranger.” She lifted her chin and glowered at Jenny.

  “Jenny’s not—” He paused and lowered his voice. “This is not the time and place for this discussion.”

  “I’ll be back in a minute or two,” Shelly said, retreating to the kitchen.

  “Jaclyn, the court gave me full custody. You had already signed the papers, and that’s one of the reasons I was in Grand Cayman the past few days. Let’s not make this harder on Kari than it needs to be.”

  “I agree. So, you can either join us for dinner or leave and I’ll bring Karina home when we’re finished. Unless you want to drag your local police into the matter.” She took a sip of water and dabbed her lips with the paper napkin. “Look, it’s only a visit. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to eat this…” She stared disdainfully at the plate. “…whatever it is, while it’s still hot. There’s not a decent restaurant within one hundred miles of this place. I could never live here.”

  Thank God, Jenny thought.

  “You don’t have to worry about that, do you? Fine, I’ll stay and take Kari home when we’re finished.” Patrick sat opposite them in the booth. “Jen, will you join us?”

  “I…uh…I’ll sit at the counter. Thanks.” She took a seat at the counter, rolling her eyes at Shelly who looked totally confused.

  Jaclyn, who had taken one bite from the meatloaf smothered in gravy, dropped her fork and shoved the plate across the table. “Eat this. I can’t.” She glanced up at Shelly. “I don’t suppose you have fresh seafood.”

  Shelly smirked. “I’ll see if I can get Burt to go out back and catch something for you. Might take a while.”

  Jenny bit the inside of cheek to keep from laughing. Did they have fresh seafood? They were in Maine.

  Jaclyn bristled. “Never mind. Just bring me another salad. Caesar with the dressing on the side. And a cup of hot water, boiling hot, with four lemon wedges.”

  “Sure.” Shelly nodded to Kari. “Hey, sweetie, how’s the macaroni and cheese?”

  “Good,” Kari said with a nod. Then the little girl looked up and waved. “Hi, Zenny.”

  Jenny wiggled her fingers and grinned at Kari. “Hi.”

  Jaclyn straightened and huffed out a breath. “Patrick, I know I gave over custody of…” She hesitated and nodded toward Kari. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to ever see her. I’m working in New York for the next two weeks. I’d like to take Kari with me.”

  “Are you crazy?” Patrick bellowed. “You’ll be working. Who is going to look after her all day?”

  “I’ll hire a professional nanny. After all, that’s what you did, isn’t it?”

  “Jenny is not a professional nanny.”

  “So I’d be doing the right thing, then, I suppose.”

  Patrick glared at Jaclyn then softened his tone with his daughter. “Kari, eat your dinner so we can get you home and ready for bed. It’s getting late.” Returning his gaze to Jaclyn, he said, “You can come to the house and we’ll discuss this after she’s in bed.”

  Jaclyn stared over at Jenny. “Won’t your friend mind the intrusion?”

  Jenny bristled at the tone in the woman’s voice.

  Refusing the bait, Patrick sh
oved the plate aside and waved to Shelly for the check. “By the way, are you staying here in Miley’s Cove tonight, or were you planning to make the drive all the way back to New York?”

  “I plan to stay here…somewhere. The nearest Hilton is fifty miles away. Unless I could stay at your house tonight and read a bedtime story to Kari?” She ran her fingers through the child’s curly hair. “Would you like Mama to stay with you tonight?”

  The way Jaclyn was using Kari to manipulate the situation made Jenny want to walk over there and slap the woman.

  Before Patrick could object, Kari smiled up at her mother and gave a resounding, “Yes! Mama stay.”

  He clenched his jaw and ground out, “Don’t do this, Jaclyn. Don’t use her to get to me.”

  Jenny found herself grinding her teeth. God, this woman was unbearable.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Patrick. This isn’t about you at all.” She stood and picked up her purse. “I have a car seat in the rental. Kari and I will meet you back at your house. Come on, Karina. Let’s go.”

  The child obediently took her mother’s hand and slid down from the booth. “Bye, Daddy.”

  Those words cut through Jenny. She could only imagine how they sounded to Patrick.

  Patrick handed Shelly two twenties when she approached with the bill. “Keep the change.” He walked to where Jenny sat on the stool. “Sorry for the drama. I’ll call you after she leaves.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead then hurried from the diner.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  The silence when she entered her cottage sent a chill through Jenny. Being with Kari the past few days had been delightful. The little girl had begun to fill a hole in Jenny. Not that she would ever stop missing Cooper. But being with a child again made her feel anchored, grounded in a way she hadn’t felt for almost a year. The anniversary of the accident rapidly approached. The emptiness of her house matched the vacuum she felt inside. She turned on the computer and tried to focus on editing while she waited for Patrick’s call.

  Jenny woke, cramped and cold, on the sofa. Moonlight reflecting off the bay streamed through the window, lighting the room. She sat up stiffly and turned on the lamp, squinting at her watch—three-fifteen. She picked up her cell phone. No missed calls.

  She stretched and shuffled to the kitchen for a glass of water before heading to bed. Sleep did not return, however, and she spent the next three hours tossing around, staring at shadows, wondering what had happened between Patrick and Jaclyn. The woman was beautiful, no question—tall, thin, with great bone structure. Typical model features. But cold. Even Jaclyn’s handling of Kari was forced and stiff. It broke Jenny’s heart, but what could she do?

  The morning fog lifted and bright sun shone through the remnant of mist. Jenny shrugged into a jogging jacket, grabbed her iPod and headed out for a walk. The route she chose into town took her within a block of Patrick’s house. She turned a corner and headed down his street. Kari was an early riser, so he would no doubt be up and probably have coffee made.

  As she approached his driveway, she saw that his truck sat behind the rental car Jaclyn had driven. The realization that Jaclyn had obviously spent the night brought Jenny up short. Apparently, things weren’t all that resolved between Patrick and Jaclyn. Jenny turned and jogged in the opposite direction. She was nearly at home when a van slowed and Shelly called to her. “Jen, hey, what are you doing out this early?”

  She walked to the van. “Out for a jog. Well, a walk. I’m out of condition for jogging. What about you?”

  “Just dropped the kids off at school. Want a ride home?”

  “Sure. You have time for coffee?”

  In her kitchen, Jenny set up the coffeemaker and popped a couple of cinnamon rolls into the microwave. “Do you take the kids to school every morning?”

  “Only when I oversleep and make them late for the bus. I worked a double shift yesterday because one of the other waitresses called in sick.”

  “So that’s why you were working last night. Can you believe that woman? Patrick’s ex…whatever? She’s a model, you know.” Jenny set mugs and a plate of rolls on the table.

  “She’s also a bitch.”

  “Well, yeah. I’ve never seen Patrick as angry as he was last night, but he seems to have gotten over it.”

  Shelly blew on the steaming mug then sipped carefully. “Why do say that?”

  “Because her car is still in his driveway this morning.”

  “Maybe they had things to talk through regarding Kari.”

  Jenny shrugged. “Maybe. It would have been too late to drive to New York. But there are motels.”

  Shelly regarded her, eyes narrowed. “Are you jealous?”

  “Jealous? No.”

  Caught in Shelly’s stare, Jenny said, “Okay, I’m a little jealous. You saw her. She’s gorgeous. But I’m also concerned about Kari. What is it going to do to that little girl if her mother just pops in and out of her life like that? At least my mother had the decency to go away and stay away. No confusion there.”

  “You and Patrick have gotten closer these past few months. And, now, with Kari here… I can’t help but wonder what it’s like for you.”

  “She’s a great kid. The last few days, I realized how empty I’ve been since Cooper died. It’s almost a year now, you know.”

  Shelly reached for her hand. “I know. I wanted to talk to you about having a memorial mass for Cooper. I know you don’t go to church, but I wanted to do something.”

  Jenny nodded. “Actually, that would be nice. What I want to do is crawl into a closet and stay there until that day passes, but I know that’s not the best thing. Have you already talked to a priest about it?”

  “Not yet. I wanted to talk to you first. Why?”

  “I have a friend in Boston. He’s a priest. I’d like to invite him to come here for a memorial service, if that’s okay. Cooper loved it here. We could have it outside, if the weather’s good.”

  “Want to give me his name and number and I’ll make the arrangements?”

  “Okay.” She slid her phone from her pocket and found Gavin’s number. She jotted down the rectory number and his private cell and handed the paper to Shelly. “Thank you.”

  “You have a family here, Jenny. Even if we’re not flesh and blood. This is what a family does for one another.” Shelly stood and carried her coffee mug to the sink. “I should go. I have at least four loads of laundry waiting. Nice day off, huh? I’ll talk to you later.”

  Jenny rinsed the plates and cups and placed them into the dishwasher. Checked her cell again, but still no missed calls from Patrick. She went to her bedroom, stripped, and headed to the shower. In the full-length mirror, she got a clear view of her body. And she couldn’t help but compare herself to Jaclyn. No comparison. She’s a model. Jenny stared into the reflection of her own eyes. Was she jealous? She had a history with Patrick, not all of it good. Jaclyn shared a child with him. A child that would link them together forever, no matter what their legal status. Jenny gave herself a mental shake. She had already decided she and Patrick had no future. But the past week, the time with Kari, made her feel alive again. Hopeful. Well, the Lexus in Patrick’s drive that morning dashed those hopes.

  She was in the middle of an editing job when Patrick’s truck pulled into the drive. He was alone. Jenny set the work aside and met him at the door.

  “Hi. Am I interrupting your work?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “No, it’s time for a break. Come in. Where’s Kari?”

  “She’s with my aunt. I wanted to talk to you alone.”

  “You want coffee or a soda?”

  “No, thanks.”

  Jenny sat and motioned for him to do the same. “What happened?”

  “First, let me apologize for Jaclyn. She can be arrogant and rude. Not always, but it’s her defense when she feels threatened.”

  Jenny laughed. “Threatened by me? Oh, please.”

  “Apparently before you and I a
rrived inside the diner, you were all Kari talked about to her.”

  “Oh.” Warmth spread up Jenny’s neck. “Okay.”

  “I also think she was having second thoughts about giving Kari up completely. I tried to reassure her that I’d never stand in the way of Kari having a relationship with her if and when she wanted one, but she doesn’t trust that. Or she doesn’t trust that Kari will want one. Jaclyn’s very needy of reassurance. Anyway, she stayed last night.” He stared at Jenny.

  “I know. I went out for a run this morning and thought I’d stop for coffee. I saw her car.”

  “And you thought something happened between us?”

  Jenny curled her legs beneath her. “It’s none of my business. I just hope she doesn’t hurt Kari.”

  “There was no way in hell I was letting her take Kari to New York for a week. But after she promised to read Kari a bedtime story, I couldn’t refuse to let her stay. I slept on the sofa. By the time she left this morning, I think she understood the limits of her access to Kari, at least until Kari’s old enough to make decisions for herself.” He stood up and paced. “I want Kari to know her mother. But I want Jaclyn to be a mother first, to put Kari’s best interests ahead of her own desires. From what I’ve seen, Kari’s just another accessory to Jaclyn, something to make her look good to others.”

  Jenny shook her head. “It’s sad. Kari is such a beautiful child, so sweet and smart. How can Jaclyn not see that?”

  Patrick gazed at her. “She doesn’t have the instincts to be a mother. Not the way you do.”

  The comment took the breath out of her.

  “God, I’m sorry.”

  “No, don’t. That’s a compliment I’ll take. I loved being a mother—every minute of it. The time I had with Cooper was cut short, but gave me the sweetest memories I could ever hope for. Jaclyn doesn’t know what she’s missing.” She paused, then said, “We’re having a memorial service here on Saturday, the thirtieth. On the lawn, weather permitting. I’d like it if you could come.”