by Jordan Marie
“Torrent honey. You’re family. We will get this mess with King and Wolf behind us and then we will definitely help you find your sister.”
“That’s just it, Diesel,” I tell him. “Angel, baby. Let me talk to my brother, you’re too emotional, it’s going to take you all day to get him the info he needs,” I murmur in her ear. She nods slowly, rubbing under her stomach.
“Somebody, please tell me something. I need to get back to Rory and Ryan.”
“Torrent’s mother was afraid of the child’s father. Dodger wrote he didn’t know who the fucker was, but that Layla—Torrent’s mother—did confess that he was a member of the club.”
“No offense, and you’re right to be upset, this sounds like a fucking soap opera, but we will find the girl. I’ve yet to see what in the hell is so urgent here, or what it has to do with Wolf.”
“We think the father is Wolf.”
“Motherfucker,” Fury growls under his breath.
“It makes sense. He bragged to Devil while torturing him that he slept with my mother and how he was going to have her daughter too,” Torrent adds.
“You really need to kill that son of a bitch,” Gunner says.
“That’s the plan. At least it is if I ever find the asshole.”
“I don’t—”
“We can’t wait, Diesel. Don’t you see? If we know my sister exists, maybe Dad told Wolf? He thought they were brothers. Wolf could already have my sister. And if he doesn’t and he’s clueless, I still need to find her. I need to make sure she’s okay.”
“We’re searching for Wolf now, Torrent. I understand you want your sister, but we have our hands full. I can’t justify sending men off to find her right now. It would leave us too vulnerable,” Diesel says, and I can tell he doesn’t like giving that answer, but he does it just the same.
“I’ll go,” Fury responds. “Where is this orphanage?” he asks. Torrent gasps and jerks her head toward him.
“St. Augustine, Florida,” she answers.
“Fury, I can’t spare you. We don’t know what King is up to right now. I need all hands on deck until we do,” Diesel argues.
“I think I can give us some insight to that—at least a little,” Scorpion responds, speaking up.
“What do you mean?” Diesel asks, and all the attention in the room shifts from my woman to Scorpion.
“I was coming to you this morning, but you called church so I just waited. We’re still coming up empty on surveillance with King. I was pretty sure he went underground, but I’ve been monitoring any activity on Chul’s business holdings in the United States and I’ve been concentrating on anything that might be a red flag. It was a long shot, because I’m really only able to track the legitimate businesses, and that’s a small footprint, and full of red tape. But, still, it was worth a try.”
“And you got a hit?”
“As of last night, at midnight, Chul’s company, C.K. Holdings has rented a twenty-six room castle in Sevier County, Tennessee.”
“You’re fucking kidding me,” Fury growls. “That’s right in our backyard.”
“I think that’s probably the point.”
“A castle? Are you talking about that old resort outside of Gatlinburg?”
“That’s the one. He rented the entire facility, completely staffed, for the entire month beginning on the fifteenth.”
“Motherfucker, that’s just three days away,” Crusher growls, finally speaking up.
“What would Chul want in Tennessee? He doesn’t have a fight with us. It has to be King, using his brother’s purse strings.”
“That’s what I’m thinking,” Scorpion answers. “King is a shareholder—albeit a small one—in this company, so that makes sense.”
“I want surveillance on that fucking castle in place by tonight. Tap all communications going in and out and I want equipment close by so I can hear a damn fly buzzing on the inside,” Diesel growls.
“I’ll get on it.”
“My sister…” Torrent whispers, her body going tight.
“I can’t really spare a man, if Devil wants to go down to Florida—”
“I’ll go. It’s just Florida, I can fly. I’ll be there, check out any records and be back before King, Chul, or who-the-fuck-ever is in place here,” Fury says.
“I’ll go with him. You need someone at your back,” I tell him. Diesel doesn’t look happy, but he nods his head yes.
“You can’t,” Torrent says, panicked.
“Angel, I’ll be fine and—”
“You can’t,” she says, and I understand why even before she says it… because I feel it. “You have to stay here, Logan. My water just broke.”
Excitement, happiness and a little bit of panic grab me, as I pull out my cellphone and demand an ambulance.
“If you have this baby outside of the hospital because you’re too stubborn to tell me you’re in labor until you got Diesel’s cooperation, I’m going to throttle you, Angel,” I growl, picking her up in my arms, as she grips her stomach when another contraction hits her.
“When I’m able, Logan,” she huffs, stopping to take a deep breath. “I’m going to kick you in the balls,” she promises. “And then I’m going to bring your son in this world and make him promise to make your life complete misery for the next twenty years.”
For some reason I smile at her threat. God, I love her.
47
Diesel
By the time we cancel the ambulance, and get Torrent loaded up in one of the club’s vehicles, I’m tired. It feels like I’ve put a full fucking day in. Gunner and Fury drove Devil and a panting, yelling, Torrent to the hospital. I made sure Scorpion immediately got started on getting things in place to watch that damn castle and try to find out what King has planned. A damned castle. Fuck, he’s an egotistical bastard.
When I finally confront him, I’m going to take great pleasure into showing him the results of the DNA test I had done the moment Ryan was born—proving he’s mine. Then I’m going to kill him… slowly.
As I walk into the kitchen, I really expected Ryan and Rory to be gone already. I’m happily surprised to find both are still there. I walk to them immediately. Ryan is coloring a picture of some cartoon dog and Rory is helping him. As soon as I get to the table, Rory looks up and gives me a nervous smile.
“Hi,” she whispers. I lean down and kiss her, unable to keep from it.
“Missed you, Gorgeous,” I mutter.
She smiles, her cheeks warming in color.
“Hey, Bub. What are you coloring?”
“A puppy dog,” he mumbles, barely looking up at me. I frown, wondering if he’s feeling okay. He’s being way too quiet. I’ve got to find out more about what went on while King had Rory and Ryan in his clutches. If just the mention of Wolf’s name can affect Ryan like this…
“Did you get your business taken care of?” Rory asks, and the look on her face gives her nerves away too.
I slide in the chair beside her, my arm automatically hanging on the back of her chair as I do. It just feels better if Rory is close to me.
“Yeah, baby. It just took longer because Torrent’s water broke.”
“Oh my God! It did? Is she okay? Did they call an ambulance?”
“She’s doing good. It would take twice as long to get an ambulance out here. The county government here put bikers on their hardly-ever-a-priority list. Gunner and Fury drove her and Devil to the hospital. We can stop by in a bit if you want?” I offer.
“I…I’ll think about it,” she whispers and her face goes white. I know that brings up painful memories for her—and those are things we really need to talk about more than we have. I’ve been going slow with Rory, but I don’t want to feel like I’m walking on eggshells around her, that will never work. Rory and I need to have everything out in the open. I just need to get King in my clutches so we don’t have that worry hanging over our heads.
“Whatever you want, Gorgeous.”
“What about Wolf?” she
asks so quietly that I have to strain to hear her. I notice that Ryan stops coloring mid stroke at the mention of Wolf’s name. I hate that I agreed Devil could be the one to kill the son of a bitch at this point. I can guarantee I’ll get my own licks in first.
“It was a false alarm. Wolf was involved, but it doesn’t have anything to do with us,” I assure them both. Rory just looks at me doubtfully and Ryan doesn’t start coloring again. It sucks, but I think my family’s fear outweighs their belief that I’m telling them the truth.
“Noah, you don’t need to try and keep me in the—”
“Gorgeous, trust me. What me and the boys discussed has nothing to do with Wolf attacking. I don’t want to get into it right now; I will tonight. It basically boils down to Torrent’s father not being a man. He left a mess and that’s what happens when a man is weak. It leaves the women they care about either hurt or in danger.”
“That’s vague—”
“Maybe he didn’t mean to be weak! Maybe he had a reason!” Ryan cries, standing up. My head turns quickly to look at my son, his body jerking with emotion, tears are running down his face.
“Bub—”
“Maybe he tried to be brave and he just couldn’t!” Ryan yells and then he takes off, dropping his crayons as he goes.
“Oh my God,” Rory whispers. “I’ll go—”
“I’ll go to him Rory. This has been coming for a bit. I’ll go talk to my boy.”
“You want me with you?” she asks, her gaze still staring at the door where Ryan ran out.
“Always, Gorgeous, but this time I think I should go it alone. Ryan and I need to finally have a heart to heart.”
“Go gently with him. He saw a lot, Noah—too much for a boy his age.”
“I will, Baby,” I promise as I get up, giving her a quick kiss. Then, I turn and go after my child, praying I can find the words to help him.
48
Diesel
I find Ryan in his room, his body thrown haphazardly on the mattress, crying into his pillow. This is a scene that makes every parent shudder and hopes to never see. I’ve experienced it a few times with Ryan and it never gets easier, but this time… is worse. This time my little boy has so much hurt inside of him that I have no idea how to help him. I don’t even know all of it.
I walk into the room, shutting the door gently behind me. I make my way to his bed, sitting on the edge.
“You want to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, Bub?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he mumbles into his mattress.
It takes some maneuvering, but I get his head in my lap and stroke my fingers against the top of his head, sifting them through his hair. Ryan wraps his arms around my waist and burrows his head into my lap, crying harder.
“Hey, Bub. Talk to me,” I tell him gruffly, his tears ripping me up inside. This is my fault. I did this by not protecting my boy. When I get my hands on King, I swear I’m going to enjoy killing that bastard.
“Don’t want to,” he mumbles.
“I can’t fix whatever is going on if you don’t talk to me about it, Bub.”
“I was weak,” he whispers. I can barely grasp the words through his sobs, but when I do they gut me.
I pull him up in my lap, so I can see his face. It’s a splotchy mix of red and white, tears running down his face, and his nose running. I reach over to the nightstand and grab some tissues. He blows his nose loudly and I use some more to dry his tears. They’re still coming, so I just dry here and there as I talk to him.
“My boy isn’t weak. You’re one of the strongest—”
“But, I’m not! I got Rory hurt!” he yells.
“You didn’t. You—”
“But I did! The monster wanted me to call him Daddy and I wouldn’t. If I had…”
“Ryan he’s not your dad. I don’t know what he told you or tried to make you believe, but you’re my son. Mine.”
“But he said—”
“I don’t care what he said, Bub, you’re mine. I have the papers to prove it, but there’s something you need to know. Even if you weren’t mine by blood, I’d still claim you. You’re a part of me boy. I thank God every day that I have you in my life. You’re my greatest gift. You need to understand that. I’m proud you’re my son, Ryan.”
His little eyes go round as he takes what I’m saying in. They’re green like his mothers, but so different because they never held the coldness in them that hers did. Now they remind me of Rory’s. She might not be his mother by blood, but she is in every way that matters, and eventually I’ll make that clear to Ryan and to Rory.
“Maybe you were before, but not now.”
“What could ever make you think that?” I ask, drying his eyes again and letting my thumb swipe across his cheek, wishing I knew how to stop his pain.
“I’m weak. Just like that man you were talking about Dad. I’m weak,” he says rubbing the back of his hand over his face and sniffling.
“Why would you even think that, Ryan? You’re one of the strongest and bravest boys I know. You remember when we were in the truck? Do you remember how you did everything I asked and were so brave? I was so proud of you, Ryan.”
“I wasn’t brave,” he cries, hurling himself into me. I gather him up in my arms and rock him. “I was scared.”
His words come out muffled against my chest as sobs tear through his body.
“I was too, Ryan.”
“You were scared?” he asks mid hiccup.
“Terrified.”
“It’s okay to be scared?” he asks pulling away just a little to look at me. I think he probably wants to see if I’m lying. I make a vow to myself to be more careful about the words I use around my boy. He’s like a sponge, soaking everything in and I’m not always careful—especially when under stress.
“Of course it is. What matters most, is that even though you were scared, you still did what you needed to do,” I tell him, only to see his face fall again.
Fuck. What did I do now?
I barely even get time to think that question, when Ryan answers it and when he does, the bottom falls out of my world. I don’t think I am ready for this conversation.
“I didn’t. I just had to call him Dad. That’s it. If I had done that it would have all been okay.”
“Ryan—”
“But, I didn’t! And he was going to punish me. I was scared, really scared. You weren’t there and I was scared, Daddy,” he sobs, falling into me yet again. I hold him, his head resting on my arm as I cradle him close. “I was so scared.”
“Let it out, Ryan. Tell me all of it and get it out, son,” I whisper, my own tears joining his. My son is hurting so deeply and there’s nothing I can do to stop the pain.
I wasn’t there. I let him down when he needed me the most.
“He was going to punish me, but Rory wouldn’t let him. When he told her she could take my punishment she said she would… and I let her, Daddy. I let her.”
Fucking hell.
“Ryan—”
“He had me and he was going to hurt… hurt me and Rory, she tried to stop him, she begged and…”
“Bub, son… Don’t—”
“He let me go and I hid behind her, Dad. I hid.”
He says that like it tortures him, and it probably does. I don’t know what else to do other than hold him. I do… tightly, willing him to feel me through everything as he relives his misery.
“Wolf grabbed me, he pulled me away from her and made me stand there. Rory begged him to let me go to my room, but he wouldn’t. He wanted me to watch her get hurt. And… I wanted to go. I didn’t want to stay Dad. I didn’t want to watch.”
“None of what you just told me makes you weak, son. You are still young. Adults are supposed to take care of you. They’re supposed to protect you. That’s what Rory did,” I tell him, my voice clogged with emotion and tears that I’m shedding right along with Ryan now. I knew it was bad… but fuck… I had no idea. When Crusher told me that
Rory lost the baby. When he said King had beaten her… I didn’t allow my mind to dwell on all of the different scenarios in my mind. This is worse than anything I ever imagined, and he hasn’t even told me the whole story yet.
“The monster is supposed to be an adult,” Ryan whispers, as I drag my fingers through his hair, continually trying to calm him.
“Some men are evil, son. It doesn’t matter how old they get.”
“Like the Green Goblin?”
“What?”
“He always tries to kill Spiderman,” Ryan sniffles. If my heart wasn’t breaking, I’d smile.
“Exactly like Green Goblin,” I whisper instead, kissing the top of my son’s head.
“He ripped her dress off Dad,” Ryan says pulling away to look at me. His lips are trembling, and his eyes hazy with memories.
“Ryan don’t—”
“He pushed her down and he ripped her dress and he started hitting her with a belt. It sounded so loud on her skin. I tried to break free to get to her, but I couldn’t. I was going to try and save her, but I couldn’t get free. I wasn’t strong Dad.”
“You were. Tell me the rest of it. Get it out and then I want you to forget, Ryan.”
“I won’t ever forget,” he says shaking his head back and forth.
“Rory would want you to forget, she wouldn’t want you to remember, Ryan. Tell me the rest and then let it go. Don’t hold it in anymore,” I tell him, even while wondering if I’m doing the right thing. It sounds good in theory, but what if reliving everything makes his memories worse? What if telling me about what happened, gives him worse nightmares? He seems to sleep soundly with Rory close, but something has to wake him up before he gets in bed with her. What if telling me everything makes it so he can’t even sleep? I’m trying to do what is best for Ryan here, but there’s another side of me that needs to hear what happened. I need to know just how bad I let the ones I loved down.
“He kicked her and kicked her. Rory couldn’t even fight back, Dad and he laughed when she moaned. He pulled her out of the room, dragging her by her hair. He made Wolf bring me and we followed behind her until we got to the room. She was bleeding. There was a lot of blood and the monster called her a bad name and kicked her again and then… he spit on her.”