While his brain turned into a fish flailing out of water, Matt offered him a tentative smile. Smiling! That was it. He was supposed to smile.
Brendon pulled himself together, cocked his head to the side, and gave Matt a thousand-watt grin. It must have worked, because Matt flushed, and he dropped his gaze to his shoes. His meander toward the front of the store halted, and he took a detour for the nearest shelf. Was he going to pretend to browse just like Brendon had?
As it just so happened, that was almost certainly what he did. Matt scanned a shelf, but his eyes were unfocused. Brendon would bet money he couldn’t name a single one of the titles in front of him. If that was the case, it was a sure sign that Matt was loitering because he was interested. And he might be shy, which Brendon found charming. But would he approach Brendon? He might need encouragement.
Brendon stepped away from the magazine rack and pretended to check his phone, giving Matt a clear shot of him. After a few seconds, he looked up.
Matt was watching him. Fuck. Yes.
Brendon flashed another sultry smile. Matt blushed just like before and swept a hand through his messy hair. That pretty much confirmed it. Playing with hair was a sure sign of sexual interest. Brendon would know. It was his go-to.
His heart did a strange pitter-patter thing against his ribs. This was really happening. He’d gotten Matt’s attention. Nervousness shot into him like it’d been injected into his veins. What was he supposed to do next? He thought back to what Sasha had told him. She’d said to let Matt make the first move, but traditional rules of courtship didn’t apply here. Plus, if Matt was shy, he might need to be helped along.
Brendon wasn’t about to let him slip away again. He would make first contact. His stomach joined his heart in doing cartwheels inside of him. Nerves paralyzed him. As it turned out, he was the one who needed a push before he could pluck up the courage to take the plunge.
He pretended to browse a shelf for a moment. If asked to recall a single title later, he wouldn’t be able to. All of his energy was directed into looking casual when he reached the end, looked up, and caught Matt’s eye from just a few feet away.
It wasn’t hard. Matt was already looking at him. Checking him out, more like it. Now that was a good sign. Matt’s eyes were currently somewhere in the vicinity of Brendon’s ass. Brendon waited for them to drift back up again before he flashed a smirk that said, Busted.
Matt ducked his head in a sheepish way but then locked eyes with him again. All right, maybe he wasn’t as shy as Brendon had thought. Matt proved it by giving him a lingering once-over that he didn’t try to hide at all.
Brendon shivered a little from both excitement and glee. After all that work and uncertainty, here he was, eye flirting with his future husband between bookshelves. He could just see the movie they’d make about their epic romance. Maybe Brendon could request that a Hemsworth play him. He didn’t care which one.
While Brendon was fantasizing, he took a step toward Matt, ready to introduce himself. Unfortunately, he’d failed to notice the low table on which several new releases had been propped. He knocked into it, stumbled, and sent the whole thing toppling over with a deafening crash.
Fuck. This time, he was certain he had the whole store’s attention, including Matt’s. He could feel their eyes burning into him. Or maybe that was his face, preparing to go nuclear. He dropped to his knees and scrambled to gather the books he’d sent flying. Twice now he’d embarrassed himself in front of Matt. And this time, there was no way Matt had missed it.
A shadow fell over him. Brendon paused with his arm extended to grab a book.
Please be a clerk. Please be a clerk. Please be a clerk.
“Need help?” asked a soft, deep voice.
It was him. Brendon just knew. That was the voice of his former future husband who would now go off to marry someone else. Someone who could perform simple tasks without breaking something.
“No, I’m fine,” Brendon squeaked. “Thanks.” He glanced up, praying for mercy. All the air went out of his lungs at once. Sure enough, Matt was standing over him with a cute smile quirking his lips. He seemed amused by Brendon’s fumble, which was almost as bad as being put off by it.
Brendon went from praying for mercy to praying for the sweet release of death.
Matt knelt next to him and reached for the nearest book. “You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?”
Brendon cleared his throat. “Only my pride.”
“Don’t beat yourself up.” Matt chuckled. “I’ve never seen a man trip so gracefully.”
Brendon righted the table and dumped his armload of books onto it in silence. Sasha and he had come up with a whole first line he was supposed to deliver, but that was back when they had thought he’d approach Matt like a normal person. He was so flustered he couldn’t think straight, pun intended.
Matt seemed to have no trouble speaking, however. “I hope you don’t mind my coming over. You looked like you could use some help.”
“No, please. Before I bring the whole store down.”
Matt stood up and offered his hand to Brendon. “I’m Colin, by the way.”
Brendon started to take it and stopped short. “Wait, what?”
“I’m Colin. It’s nice to meet you.”
Brendon stared up at him. Did he have the wrong guy? Oh fuck, what if he’d been flirting with some rando? The harder he stared at Matt—or Colin—the less he looked like the pictures Brendon had seen.
But he’d been so sure. Both times he’d seen him. How could he have made a mistake this momentous?
“Uh, are you okay?” Matt/Colin looked him up and down as if he were checking for signs of a stroke.
“Y-yeah,” Brendon stammered. “I just, um . . . You don’t look like a Colin.”
Well, that was pathetic, but what else could he say? Sorry, it seems I’ve been stalking the wrong guy.
Brendon was planning his exit strategy when Matt/Colin spoke again.
“Funny you should say that. Colin is my middle name. My first name’s Matt.” He smiled. “You can call me either one.”
The relief that flooded into Brendon was so profound, he might have crumpled to the ground had he not already been kneeling. He took Matt’s hand and allowed him to pull Brendon to his feet. “It’s wonderful to meet you. I’m Brendon, and I’m going to call you Matt, if that’s okay.”
Matt didn’t let go of his hand right away. “Sure thing. I have to admit, I’m tempted to spout some cheesy line about how you can call me whatever you want.”
It was Brendon’s turn to blush. Matt’s hand was warm and rough in a good way, and the ease with which he’d pulled Brendon to his feet was hot. “Matt will do just fine.”
Play it cool, Brendon. Don’t forget, you literally just fell all over yourself.
Brendon searched for a neutral conversation topic and decided to satisfy a curiosity while he was at it. “Why do you go by your middle name?”
“Matthew is a family name. My grandpa was called Matthew, my dad is Matt, and I’ve always been called Colin. It’s a force of habit to introduce myself that way. Though I’ve been going by Matthew in my professional life.”
“Oh?” Brendon feigned nonchalance. “What do you do?”
“I write for a local fashion magazine.”
Hallelujah, praise Jesus. My prince has come.
Brendon cleared his throat again. “That sounds like fascinating work.”
Matt shrugged, and Brendon could have written sonnets about the way his muscles shifted beneath his sweater. “I like it, but it’s not like I get to write anything that will change the world. It’s a lot of fluff. What’s in. What’s out. Oh, and quizzes. I get to write the quiz at the back of every issue.”
Brendon smiled. “That sounds pretty cool to me. And you never know, one of your pieces could change someone’s life one day.”
They locked eyes, and a current passed between them. When asked later, Brendon would swear up and down that he got a peek i
nto Matt’s soul just then. And it was warm and beautiful.
Until Matt broke their eye contact and stepped away. “Well, I should get going. It was nice talking to you.” He shouldered his bag and headed for the door.
Brendon blinked at his back. Matt knew he was flirting with him, right? Was he not being obvious enough?
Maybe he thought Brendon was straight.
Brendon almost laughed. That couldn’t be it. So what was the problem?
Maybe Matt wasn’t interested after all. But they’d been eye flirting not ten minutes ago? Then again, that was before Brendon had gone sailing into the book display.
No, he couldn’t believe that Matt would be put off by something so petty. Matt was his soul mate. Something must be wrong. Whatever it was, Brendon couldn’t let him slip through his fingers again.
Before Matt could get more than a few steps away, Brendon blurted out, “Doyouwannagetcoffeesometime?”
Matt halted and turned back. “What?”
Brendon took a deep breath before trying again. “Do you want to get coffee sometime? With me?”
Matt’s mouth turned down. “Really?”
“Well, yeah.” Brendon shuffled his feet. “If you want to.”
There was a beat of tense silence. Then Matt took a step back toward him. “I would like that.”
It was Brendon’s turn to ask, “Really?”
“Yeah, of course.”
Brendon hesitated. “Not to look a gift horse in the mouth or anything, but you don’t seem so sure.”
“No, I would love to. I just . . .”
Brendon waited. When an answer wasn’t forthcoming, he prompted. “You what?”
Matt was looking down at his shoes—brown leather dress shoes, Brendon noted, shined to perfection—but at that, he glanced up, and a smile slid across his lips slow as honey. “I was surprised, is all. I didn’t expect the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen to want to get coffee with me.”
Brendon’s heart skipped as if it were playing hopscotch on his sternum. It seemed he’d been wrong about Matt all along. He wasn’t shy, and he was sexy as hell. Brendon was beginning to suspect he was in way over his head.
It’s always the quiet ones.
While he was still struggling to think of something to say, Matt sauntered back over.
“Here.” Matt pulled out his phone and handed it to Brendon. “Put your number in.”
Brendon was almost afraid to take the phone. He’d probably drop it. What was up with him all of a sudden? He was usually an ice king around guys. He prided himself on the whole cool-mystique thing he had going on. But with a look, Matt could rob him of basic motor functions. It was disconcerting but also thrilling.
When he’d finished entering his full name—so Matt could add him on Facebook if he wanted—and his number, he paused. There was a moment when they both looked at each other, a question lingering in the air. Matt grinned. That was all the encouragement Brendon needed. He hit the Call button and pulled out his own phone. He held them next to each other while Matt’s dialed, and a second later, his screen lit up.
Matt took his phone back, still grinning. “I was giving you an out, you know. I wouldn’t have called you until after I left in case the number was fake. We could have both saved face.”
“No face to save here.” Brendon batted his eyelashes. “Now you can’t escape me.”
“Oh no, whatever will I do.” Matt held up the books he’d selected. “Are you getting anything?”
“Not this time.”
“You come here a lot?”
“When I need school books, yeah.” Brendon decided to make a calculated move. “I like how it isn’t a chain.” Matt seemed the sort to frequent mom-and pops, same as Brendon.
Matt’s grin widened. “Yeah, me too. I hate the huge, corporate-owned stores. I’d much rather shop local.”
Ding ding ding, we have a winner.
Matt started toward the front again. “Well, I’m going to check out. I’ll call you.”
“Wait. What about coffee?”
“Oh. Did you want to go right now?” Matt looked surprised.
Brendon kicked himself. He was a hair’s breadth away from sounding desperate. “I mean, we don’t have to, obviously, but I know this great place nearby called Jitters.”
Matt beamed. “I love that place.”
“Me too.” Brendon laughed. It had an edge of nervousness that he hoped only he could hear. “Today’s my only day off this week, and we’re both here, so I figured . . .”
“That sounds great—”
Brendon’s heart floated up into his throat.
“—but I have somewhere I need to be.”
It collided with his uvula and sank like the Titanic. Damn. He’d thought when Matt first came in that he looked like he was in a hurry. For once, he wished his intuition weren’t so accurate. “Ah, okay. Don’t worry about it. I’ll await your call.” He almost bit his tongue. Now that sounded desperate. Where had his game gone? Matt seemed to make it evaporate.
“What about dinner tonight, though? Are you still free?”
Brendon was getting dizzy from all these mood swings. “I would love to have dinner with you.” He smiled and affected a casual tone. “I don’t know if you have somewhere in mind, but I know a great place. Have you ever heard of Café Luis?”
Matt’s eyes widened. “That’s my favorite restaurant!”
“No way! It’s mine too. I love it there.” Brendon patted himself on the back in his head. He’d so called that. “Meet me there tonight?”
“Absolutely. Seven?”
“Seven.”
They said goodbye, and Brendon strolled out of the bookstore with a noticeable spring in his step.
Operation Soul Mate was on.
“I don’t know why you’re stressing so much.” Areesh drained the last of his wine and gestured sloppily around the apartment. “You look hot.”
Brendon spun away from his closet to face him, which was no meager feat, considering he had almost every article of clothing he owned draped over his arms and neck. “How can you even tell under all this?”
“Because you always look hot.”
“It’s true,” Sasha piped up from her seat on Brendon’s futon. Unlike Areesh, she had a glass of water in her hands. “You’re like the king of outfit coordination. Especially considering you get most of your clothes from thrift shops.”
“I maintain that store brands are a total rip-off.” Brendon shook off a layer of potential outfits onto his bed like a snake shedding sequined skin. He looked at what remained in his full-length mirror, crinkling his nose. “But you just described my problem. I don’t know how to dress for a date, because I’m always dressed to impress. I can’t show up looking like I always do.”
“Why not?”
“Because that’s not special. It’s like that one scene from Legally Blonde where Elle is getting ready to get proposed to by Warner. She’s all ‘I can’t look like I would on any other date. This is the date,’ or whatever she says. You know?”
Sasha blinked. “Honey, you gotta lay off the rom-coms.”
“My point is, this might very well be my first date with my soul mate, and I’m gonna remember it forever. I need to wear something befitting such a historic moment.”
Areesh wandered into the kitchen and dumped the last of the wine into his glass. “Well, if you ask me, you should wear something slutty.” He stumbled toward one of Brendon’s shelves, plucked a pair of cat ears that had been part of a Halloween costume off them, and put them on. Worst of all, they suited him.
Sasha sighed. “Why is dressing ‘slutty’ your solution to everything?”
“It got me you, didn’t it?” He flexed. “One flash of chest hair, and you were mine.”
Sasha looked heavenward. “What my drunk husband is trying to say is don’t fret so much about your appearance. You want him to like you for you, not how well your shirt makes your eyes pop.”
Areesh pout
ed. “That’s nothing like what I said.”
“Sorry, pati.”
Brendon laughed. “You guys are so married.” He picked up a seafoam-green dress shirt and held it up to himself. “Hmm?”
“I like it,” Sasha said.
“Boring.” Areesh meandered over to the discard pile and rooted through it. “Aha! What about this?”
“Areesh, that’s a sheer tube top, and it belonged to my last roommate.”
“So?”
“My last female roommate.”
“Since when do you adhere to gender norms?”
“I don’t. I just try to save the drag for the second date.” Brendon sighed and sat down on one of the few bare spots left on his bed. “This is the most stressed I’ve ever been before a simple dinner.”
Areesh offered him his wine. Brendon took it and swallowed a mouthful. Sasha climbed to her feet and spoke over her shoulder as she went to the tiny closet. “Why are you stressed?”
“Because I want this date to go well.”
“I figured that much, dear. I was looking for details. You haven’t told us much about this guy.”
“Sure I have. His name is Matt—or Colin, if you like—and he works for a magazine called Extra. He’s from Ohio. Twenty-seven. Gay.” He sighed. “And dreamy.”
“That’s wonderful, but it’s all superficial, don’t you think? What do you like about him as a person? Is he nice? Smart? Funny?”
“All of the above.” Brendon couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face. “He’s everything I could have hoped for. Maybe even more.”
“Ah.” She snapped her fingers. “That’s what I wanted to hear. I was worried you’d fallen for the idea of him instead of the real thing. Keep getting to know him, and I’m sure everything will be fine.” She tilted her head in a thoughtful way. “Though it wouldn’t kill you to smile more often.”
“What do you mean?”
“Beta, you know I love you, but you take ‘resting bitch face’ to new levels. If you don’t smile now and again, you might freeze the poor man to death.”
Brendon huffed. “Will not.”
“Brendon, you’re an ice king, and you know it. You’re even pale like snow.”
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