by Candis Terry
No sense embarrassing him or herself any further.
She slid into the driver’s seat, using her hands to straighten out the fitted summer dress she’d borrowed from Kate’s charity gown shop Cindi Rella’s attic. It wasn’t often one had the opportunity to wear a dress previously owned by a movie or music star, but that’s what her sister’s shop was all about. Kate had started the place so young girls who couldn’t afford to buy prom dresses could feel like princesses for a night—at the low cost of only a ten-dollar rental fee plus dry cleaning.
Kelly didn’t exactly want to feel like a princess. If she could just not feel so crappy, it would be a good start.
The dress she’d chosen had once been worn by dancer/actress Julianne Hough and should help to pick up her spirits. If not, the dreamy Valentino wedges definitely would.
She hoped.
She put the Buick into reverse, backed out of the driveway, and headed toward the Clear River Lodge, where this day her big brother would marry the love of his life.
Would she ever capture that in her own life? Or would she just end up the crazy old maid aunt to her sibling’s kids? The inevitable response burned like acid in her stomach.
As she made a left on the main highway and headed toward the lake, the afternoon sunshine cut a glare across the rusty brown hood of the Buick. Kelly pushed her Coach sunglasses up on her nose. The air was hot, and the air conditioner had taken a dive years ago. She had two choices, roll down the window and let the breeze blow all the curl from her hair, or sweat it out. Whoever said women didn’t sweat, they perspired, was full of it. She reached for the crank window opener. She turned on the radio as she drove out of town. While Tim McGraw liked it, loved it, and wanted more of it, she glanced up at the rearview mirror.
Would her mother show up today?
They hadn’t parted on the nicest terms the last time. Then again, when had they ever? She’d tried to be the good daughter. Instead she’d become the invisible one. Not that she could really blame her mother for focusing on the youngest and oldest children. They were both far more interesting than Kelly the bookworm. Kelly the mouse. Kelly the serious one. She’d been tempted a time or two to go out and break the rules. Explode like a Fourth of July firecracker and deal with the repercussions later.
Had that been what she’d done with James the night of Kate’s wedding? Just given up pretense and let go?
Man, when she screwed up, she screwed up big.
“Whatever you’re thinking is a bunch of crap.”
Kelly slammed her foot on the brake. “Mom! You scared the bejeebers out of me!”
“Yeah. I get that a lot.”
“No warning song today?”
“Eh, I’m giving old Tom a rest. Pull the car over, will ya? We got some talking to do.”
“I can’t. I’ve got—”
“I know where you’re heading. I’m going there with you.”
“You are?”
“Pffft. Yes. Do you think I’m going to come back and then miss my children’s weddings? I don’t think so.”
“You were at Kate’s wedding?”
“You bet I was. Her dress was lovely although a little subdued for a woman who styled celebrities for a living, dontcha think?”
“I think she married a man who leads a more modest life, and gobs of glitter were a bit much for him. Simple elegance. Always the right choice.” Kelly glanced in the mirror, even knowing she’d see nothing there. “Were you at the reception, too?”
Her mother hooted a laugh. “If you’re asking if I saw you tipping the champagne a bit too much and sneaking out the door with James Harley? Nope. Didn’t see a thing.”
Great.
“I’m not judging you, Kelly Grace. I quit doing that when they dumped a pile of dirt on top of me. Which, by the way, thank you for the beautiful sunflowers you brought to the cemetery the other day.”
“You’re welcome. So . . . how does this . . .”—Kelly waved her hand through the air—“death/coming back to earth thing work?”
“Well, it’s complicated.”
“I can imagine.”
“And as much as I would like to explain it all, that’s not why I’m here.”
“I know. You’re here for Dean and Emma’s wedding.”
“Other than that.”
A whisper of cool air brushed the side of Kelly’s neck, and she shivered.
“I told you I’m here to help you.”
Kelly wanted to say she didn’t need any help. But any outsider could take one look at her life in the past few months and they would say differently. She’d been on the fast track to disaster.
“You’ve always been so careful. So diligent. So smart,” her mother said with a sigh. “You’re right, I did overlook a lot. You never gave me any trouble. Not like Dean or Kate. You were the one I thought I didn’t have to worry about. And look at you. You’re a mess.”
“I know. And if you’re trying to make me cry, you’re heading in the right direction.”
“I’m sorry, honey.”
A tissue from the box on the seat next to her flew up and landed on her lap. She clutched it between her fingers.
“The last time we talked, you showed me a different side of you,” her mother said, a little closer to her ear now. “And I liked that girl. She was sassy.”
“Just a façade.” Kelly dabbed the moisture in the corners of her eyes.
“I don’t believe that, and neither do you. You’ve just trained yourself to be—”
“Sister Serious?” Kelly said.
“Yeah, honey. Sister Serious. You want some advice?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Kick that girl to the curb.”
“Mom!”
“You take it from me, honey, you only get one chance at life. Do not screw it up.”
“But, Mom, I—” The chill in the car dissipated. “Mom?” When she received no response, Kelly knew her mother had disappeared.
Must be nice to just pop in and out of places.
She put the car into drive. If she had the ability to do that, she could certainly have saved herself a lot of heartache.
James set the wedding gift he’d brought on the table with the others and headed toward the meadow at the Clear River Lodge. The place looked postcard-perfect. Tall pine tops contrasted with a background of bright blue sky and craggy mountain peaks. Dotted with wildflowers, the meadow spread out in a carpet of brilliant green. In the center stood the new rustic lakeside gazebo that Dean, as promised, had built for his bride. In front of that were perfect rows of white wooden chairs. Even James had to admit it was an ideal stage for a wedding.
A long table, covered by a white linen tablecloth, held flutes of champagne and pitchers of lemonade. James tugged at the knot of the tie pressing into his throat. He wasn’t exactly thirsty, but he needed something to do while he searched for Kelly. They needed to talk. For three days she’d managed to avoid him like he had a terminal case of the cooties.
He accepted a glass of champagne from the server and walked out onto the newly mown lawn. He wasn’t surprised to be surrounded by some elite football players, as Dean had been the star quarterback for the Houston Stallions. But even standing among the greats he watched on TV during football season took a backseat to the energy gathered inside him to see Kelly again.
He’d screwed up. And he had to set things right.
“Hey, buddy.” Dean came up, grinning like an extremely happy man, and gave James the one-armed guy hug-shoulder bump thing.
“You nervous?” James asked.
“Me?” Dean waved at an elderly couple passing by. “Naw. Not a bit. I’d have hauled Em off to Vegas the minute she said yes if I’d had my way. I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with her.”
James smiled. “You two sure took the rocky road to getting here today.”
Dean let out a huge laugh. “And it isn’t over yet. That’s one of the things I love best about Emma. She won’t put up with my shit. Mos
t of the time I’m smart enough to remember that. But I’m also smart enough to know that that kissing and making up thing is pretty fucking great.”
Speaking of . . . “Where’s your sister?”
“Which one? The complete lunatic? Or the one who just thinks she’s crazy?”
“Kelly.”
“Ah.” Dean turned and looked back at the house. “Both of them are upstairs helping Em get ready. They’ll be down in a few.”
“Thanks.”
Dean gave him the once-over with a raised brow. “Any particular reason you’re asking?”
“Probably.”
“Do I want to know why?”
“Nope.”
Dean leaned in. “Do I need to kick your ass?”
“No need. Been doing enough of that myself.”
“I feel your pain, buddy. And as long as you don’t make my little sister cry I’ll let you live to see another day.” Dean clamped his throwing hand over James’s shoulder. “Now come on over here and let me introduce you to two of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. Unless it’s in the red zone.”
James realized they were heading right toward two Super Bowl champs. Yet even while he shook the superstar quarterbacks’ hands, he remained on alert for the evasive blonde who’d invaded his dreams and made him wish for things that could never be.
There was no doubt in his mind that he wanted Kelly Silverthorne. But there was also the truth that no woman in her right mind would ever want to tie her pony to his wagon. He was a man with way too much baggage and too many responsibilities to ever be able to give her what she needed or deserved.
And that was just a damned shame.
Kelly waited until the last possible moment to take her seat next to Edna Price in the front row. As she’d scooted down the aisle just before the wedding party, she’d caught a glimpse of James seated in the fourth row. Not that it mattered, but since he was between two men who looked like they tackled people for a living, it appeared he hadn’t brought a date. Unless her name was Bubba.
He’d been easy to pick out in the crowd with his sandy-colored hair looking like he’d given it a little more consideration than his usual finger-combed style. The toffee-colored sports coat he wore blended well with his light hair and golden tan.
Kelly sighed. He looked amazing.
As soon as she realized she was staring, she jerked her gaze to the flower-adorned gazebo and made her way to her seat. No sense torturing herself over something she couldn’t have.
Scratch that.
Someone who didn’t want her.
Moments after she sat down, Dean made his way to the steps of the gazebo and waited for his bride. The string quartet began to play, and Kate, the maid of honor, came down the aisle on the arm of her handsome husband, who today was not the sheriff but the best man. They were a beautiful couple, and, as anyone could judge by the smiles they wore, they were also a happy couple.
A little twinge tweaked Kelly’s heart.
It had taken Kate and Matt a decade to find each other again. But that didn’t mean anything was possible.
The urge to turn and look at James again was a living, breathing thing inside Kelly. She fought it and lost. As she turned, the quartet began the wedding march, and everyone stood for the bride, who came down the aisle on the arm of Robert Silverthorne. Kelly smiled with pride at her father, who’d offered to escort Emma because she had no one to do the honors.
Emma beamed with radiance in the strapless A-line princess-style gown. The chiffon floated like a cloud, and the iris bouquet brought out the blue in her eyes. The adoring look on Dean’s face as he watched the woman he loved come up the aisle caused everything inside Kelly to tumble and twirl.
Someday she wanted a man to look at her that way. Like he couldn’t live a day without her. Like she was life and breath to him and nothing else mattered.
Dean and Emma had written special vows themselves, which interjected a sense of humor into the ceremony, and everyone laughed when Emma promised not to sack the one-time NFL superstar quarterback—unless he asked her nicely. Then laughter turned to happy tears while they smiled lovingly at each other and recited traditional vows. “Dean James Silverthorne, do you take this woman . . .”
Kelly clasped her hands together. Her big brother—the one-time Sexiest Man Alive—had found the woman of his dreams. Who’d have ever imagined?
What seemed like mere moments later, the joyful couple sealed their vows with a kiss. Kelly had to dab at her eyes with the tissue she’d been wise enough to tuck into her clutch.
She glanced out over the gorgeous meadow and wondered exactly from where her mother had watched the ceremony. At that moment a whisper of cool air brushed past her cheek and she knew.
With the ceremony completed, the reception began with a celebratory toast. After that, Kelly managed to make herself scarce. Not that she missed any of the activities, just that she became quite proficient at ducking and weaving whenever she saw James headed in any specific direction. She did not make eye contact if at all possible, because the single time she did those eyes of his grew dark with question. They drew her in, and she felt herself weaken until she realized that it was that same dark gaze that had misled her. Lured her to the point where she’d thrown herself at a man who wasn’t interested in her in the same way that made her heart race and her blood flow through her veins like warm honey.
Once the afternoon sun dipped behind the craggy mountaintops, the dance floor came alive with twinkling white lights and tiki torches. Dean had brought in a band far more crowd-pleasing than the locals who haunted the Naughty Irish. After the bride and groom’s first dance, which was just too cute for words, Kelly danced on the arm of her father to Vince Gill’s When Love Finds You.
With his strong arms surrounding her, she felt safe. And when a cool breeze rose from nowhere and ruffled her hair, Kelly knew they were not alone.
“Daddy? Do you believe in life after death?”
He pulled his head back and looked down on her with a tentative smile. “That’s an odd question, honey. What’s on your mind?”
She let go a long sigh. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think . . . sometimes I think I can feel Mom. You know.” She lifted her shoulders and shook her head. “I know it sounds crazy, but every once in a while, I feel like if I turn around she’d be standing there.”
Her father drew her in a little closer and rested his chin at the top of her head. “I feel that too.”
“You do?” Kelly looked up into her father’s sweet, aging face.
He nodded slowly. “Sometimes I think it’s just because we don’t want to let her go. Then other times, I swear I can almost smell the vanilla that lingered in her hair long after we’d left the bakery. And sometimes when I’m dozing off, I’d swear I can feel the softness of her lips press against my forehead.”
“Oh, Dad.”
“Do you believe, honey?” His forehead wrinkled, and the creases at the corners of his eyes deepened.
“I didn’t used to. I mean, in my job I deal with so many awful situations, I’ve always hated to think that some of those poor people who’d lost their lives . . .” She shook her head and looked away toward the twinkling lights outlining the gazebo. Even now she didn’t want to believe that life went on in another dimension and that those people, who had suffered at the hands of others, could remember every detail of how they died. But since she’d come back home and a certain somebody had hitched a ride in her old Buick, Kelly had no choice but to believe. “Yeah, Dad. I believe.”
“Excuse me, sir. May I cut in?”
The deep voice coming from behind her father sent chills up Kelly’s spine. She looked for an escape, but the task would be impossible without making a scene. The last thing she wanted to do was to take away from the happiness of the day. So she pulled up her big girl panties and prepared herself for a sensory overload of renewed humiliation.
James stepped from behind her father, his sport jacket and tie now gone. Th
e long sleeves of his creamy shirt had been rolled up to his elbows. His hands were buried in his pants pockets. As her father bowed and backed away, James gave her a smile and held out his arms. “Shall we?”
She gave a quick glance around the dance floor looking for one last escape route. Nope. Outta luck. “Sure. Why not.”
His arms came around her in a too-familiar way, like he’d been holding her against him all his life. Like she belonged there. She tried to put some distance between them, but someone bumped her from behind and James held on tight. She wished she didn’t like being held in his arms. She really did. Just went to prove that you could have all the college degrees in the world and still not be smart enough to know what was bad for you.
James Harley?
Seriously bad.
“Nice song,” he said with a tilt of his head, looking down into her eyes.
“I suppose.” Beneath her hand his shoulder felt hard and strong. His chest, warm and wide, pressed into hers.
“Relax, Counselor. I’m not going to bite.”
“Not worried about you biting, Deputy. Otherwise I’d have gotten a rabies shot.”
He chuckled. “Have you enjoyed your brother’s wedding?”
A slow sigh pushed from her lungs. “After the other night are we really going to make small talk?”
“We could start with that and work our way up.”
“Or not,” she said. “There’s really not much to say, is there?”
“I beg to differ. There’s a lot to say.” Small lines creased the corners of his eyes. “In fact, how about we go over to the gazebo since there’s no one there right now. We could have a nice little chat.”
“Not interested.” Kelly stepped from his embrace. “My line of work has made me a believer that actions speak louder than words, Deputy Harley. And I believe your actions have made your point very clear. Case closed.”
Though everything inside her rebelled, she turned on her heel and calmly walked away with her head held high. Even while everything inside told her to tuck her tail and run.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Kelly woke in a huge bed in one of the guest rooms at the Clear River Lodge to a pair of very blue eyes and twitching whiskers.