Exposed to You

by BETH KERY

  “If you were to hurt her in any way, I wouldn’t take it lightly,” Seth said starkly.

  Everett arched his eyebrows at the subtle challenge. He wasn’t offended. Not in the slightest.

  “I can understand that. I wouldn’t take it lightly, either. I don’t take Joy lightly. Just the opposite, in fact,” Everett replied evenly.

  Seth and he settled into a silence that wasn’t companionable, necessarily, but comfortable. They’d both had their say, and they both knew it.

  * * *

  Joy was in the process of drying off the glasses they’d used for lemonade and putting them into the cabinet when Katie walked into the kitchen.

  “You don’t have to do that, Joy. You’re a guest,” Katie protested.

  “I’m glad to have something to do. It makes me feel like I’m earning my stay. Is Daisy all tucked in?”

  “Snug as a bug. For a few hours, anyway,” Katie said, drying off the clean lemonade pitcher. “Are you having a nice time? With Everett, I mean?”

  “Oh, yes,” Joy replied, shutting the cabinet. She carefully folded the dish towel and set it on the counter. “He’s . . . very unique, isn’t he?”

  “I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or polite,” Katie said with wry amusement.

  “No, I mean it in the best kind of way,” Joy said in a burst of honesty. “I’ve never met anyone like him.”

  Katie smiled and tossed her dish towel on the counter. “He’s one of a kind, that’s for sure. Mom jokes that light poured out of her womb before Everett popped his head into the world.”

  Joy laughed. “Too funny. But you know, I can see what she means.” She made a face. “Was it hard for you? Being his little sister?”

  “You mean always walking around in the shadow of his brilliance?”

  “I think you’re pretty brilliant yourself,” Joy said quietly. “I just meant—”

  “I know what you meant. And the fact of the matter is, if I didn’t adore Everett so much, if he weren’t genuinely one of the most awesome people I’d ever met, I would have had an inferiority complex the size of Mount Everest. Everett has never been secretive about his own vulnerabilities, though. It helps to know he bleeds just like we all do.”

  “Maybe I’m a poor observer of character, but I couldn’t begin to guess what Everett’s vulnerabilities are. It’s like you said out there on the porch—he doesn’t seem to know how to feel awkward or question himself.”

  Katie gave her a quick, assessing glance before she opened a cabinet and placed the pitcher inside.

  “You may not have recognized it yet about him, but Everett is all about family and close friends. He’d do anything for Mom and Dad. He would—and has—dropped everything on a dime and flown to my side when I needed him. He’d open a vein for Rill or Daisy.”

  “That’s wonderful,” Joy murmured. She’d already guessed that about Everett, but hearing his sister say it brought it home.

  “It is wonderful,” Katie agreed. “The thing of it is, though, Everett worries he’ll never have that. Not for himself.”

  “You mean his own family?”

  Katie nodded.

  “But . . . surely he’s had his pick of available women.”

  “Of course. Unfortunately, he hasn’t found the one he wants to spend his life with. He never has said it in so many words, but I think he sort of worries he’s . . . cursed in that department.”

  “What?” Joy asked, confused.

  “Not cursed, exactly. But he’s very aware of his blessings. Never think otherwise. He doesn’t take for granted his influence or his money or his luck. He’s incredibly charitable with his time and his money. He knows he won some kind of colossal cosmic lottery.”

  “But . . .” Joy said slowly, sensing there was more.

  “The only thing that hasn’t come to him easily is love, partnership . . . a family,” Katie said quietly, leaning her hip against the counter.

  Joy frowned. “It’s got to be so hard for him. He probably questions other people’s motives all the time, wonders if they’re just using him.”

  Katie shook her head. “That’s not the problem. Everett has an instinct for users. No, I think he’s just worried fate gave him so much, that it’d be too much for him to find love.”

  “You mean like it’d be unfair in a karmic sense?”

  “Yeah.”

  “He envies you. I see the way he looks at you and Rill and Daisy sometimes,” Joy said quietly.

  “I see the way he looks at you.”

  Joy looked up quickly. Katie’s expression was unusually somber. Was it worry she saw etched on Everett’s sister’s face? She swallowed. Her throat felt tight.

  “I . . . I don’t know what’s happening,” she admitted to Katie in a burst of honesty.

  “It’s pretty clear to me. Everett’s falling in love with you,” Katie said in a quiet, matter-of-fact tone.

  Joy put her hand over her heart.

  “Joy? Are you all right?” Katie asked after a moment.

  “Yes. I’m fine, I just—”

  “Maybe you’d better sit down,” she heard Katie say. Joy sat dazedly in the chair Katie pulled out from the oak table. Had that sudden pain and tightness in her chest been the result of Katie telling Joy that Everett was falling in love with her? It must have been. But it’d felt so sharp. So real.

  “Everett, Seth,” she heard Katie call.

  She blinked and looked up as Everett and Seth trooped into the kitchen, both of them seeming to tower over her. She felt as if she were seeing them through a heat haze.

  “There’s something wrong,” Katie said. “Joy’s ill.”

  “No, I’m not,” Joy muttered, even as she blinked to try to bring Everett into focus when he stepped in front of her. He touched her forehead.

  “She has a fever,” he said. “Katie? Do you have a thermometer?”

  “I should take her to the doctor,” Seth said.

  “No,” Joy said heatedly, standing. “I’m fine.”

  “I’ll get the thermometer,” Katie said, eyeing Joy worriedly.

  Joy met Seth’s gaze and noticed a flicker of fear in his dark eyes. Her heart started pounding uncomfortably in her chest, almost as if it were struggling to do its task.

  “The kids in my class have been passing around a bug,” Joy said. “I probably got it. That’s all.” She looked at Everett. “We should go out to the guesthouse. I wouldn’t want Daisy to catch anything.”

  “I’m going to take you to the hospital,” Seth declared.

  “She probably just needs some Tylenol and some R & R,” Everett said, watching her with concern etched on his features.

  “Here’s the thermometer,” Katie said, bustling into the kitchen, Rill on her heels. “Sit down, Joy.”

  Joy felt extremely foolish and vulnerable with four people—three of whom were well over six feet tall—staring down at her while Katie took her temperature using the temporal artery thermometer.

  “One hundred and one, almost a hundred and two,” Katie said a moment later.

  “If you give me the directions to the closest hospital, I’ll take her now,” Seth said, his tone brooking no argument.

  Joy sat there, feeling miserable. She didn’t want to make such a fuss, but perhaps Seth was right. Her heart was back to throbbing uncomfortably. Joy suspected it was purely an anxious response. Everett was studying her face closely.

  “I’ll drive both of you over to Prairie Lakes,” he said. He glanced at Rill for confirmation. “That’s the closest facility with an emergency room, right?”

  “Well, I don’t know if I’d call it an emergency room, exactly. It’s a pretty tiny hospital. Most serious cases go to Carbondale or St. Louis. But they do have a twenty-four-hour doctor on call. Joy will be seen.”

  “Okay. Let’s go then,” Everett said, taking Joy’s hand.

  * * *

  Joy despised the smell of hospitals. She’d had no idea until she was treated for her own cancer h
ow much it had been grafted into her brain during her teenage years—the smell of impersonal, sterile care, of helplessness, of death.

  She sat fully dressed in the examination room. The physician had just left after his consultation. Joy had made a request that Seth be called from the waiting room to speak with her.

  She smiled at her uncle when he knocked and peeked around the door. He entered, looking entirely too large for the tiny exam room.

  “Is everything okay?” He’d asked the question lightly, but Joy saw the lines of dread and worry on his face.

  “Yes,” she assured. “Sit down.”

  He sat awkwardly in the only other plastic chair in the room. “What did the doctor say?”

  “That I have all the symptoms of a viral infection,” Joy replied.

  Seth closed his eyes briefly. “Thank God.”

  Joy smiled. “I know. I’m relieved, too.”

  Seth exhaled. “So what—you just need to rest and take an antibiotic or something?” She nodded. Seth’s expression shifted as he studied her. “What is it? You’re not telling me everything. You didn’t call me back here to tell me you have the flu, did you?”

  “The chances are, that’s precisely what I have. I am going to get sick at times, you know. I’m not any different from anyone else,” she said, smiling ruefully. “The thing of it is, though, my glands are swollen.”

  Seth stiffened.

  “Which is completely normal if I have a viral infection,” Joy assured him quickly. “But given my history, and the fact that I’m having some chest pain and fever—both of which are also consistent with a flu bug in addition to early lymphoma signs—the doctor thinks I should get a biopsy on a lymph gland, just to be sure.”

  “Okay,” Seth said quickly. He glanced around the room. “So they’re going to admit you?”

  “I’d rather have it done in Chicago. I put a lot of time and research into choosing Dr. Chen,” she said, referring to her oncologist. “It’d make me feel more secure doing it there.”

  “We’ll leave first thing in the morning, then?”

  “I will.”

  Seth flinched. “We both will. Of course we both will.”

  “Listen to me,” she said firmly. “The chances are that this is nothing. I want you to understand that. I’m just playing it safe. Rill’s costume designer is flying in tomorrow specifically to consult with you about Razor Pass. Both Rill and she would be disappointed if you weren’t there.”

  “I don’t care if Rill’s disappointed,” Seth said, looking insulted.

  “I do. This is a wonderful opportunity for Hightower Special Effects. I won’t allow you to compromise anything by leaving Vulture’s Canyon early when there’s no need for it.”

  “No, absolutely—”

  “Do you have any idea of how guilty I’d feel if you abandoned this job because I have the flu?” Joy interrupted fiercely.

  Seth hesitated, seeming torn.

  “It’s not a big deal, Seth. Please don’t make any more of it than it is. I really need your cooperation on this.”

  “What about Everett?” Seth asked slowly. “Are you planning on telling him why you have to leave early?”

  “No,” Joy said, holding Seth’s gaze. “And I’m asking you, as a personal favor, to please not say anything to the Pierces or to Everett. I’ve had a wonderful weekend here so far. I’d rather leave it at that.”

  A pained expression crossed Seth’s face. “Joy, I’m not so sure Everett is going to accept that. I think he really cares about you.”

  Joy swallowed. She told herself the soreness in her throat was from her swollen glands. “You and I both know this thing between Everett and me was just a blip on the radar. What else could it be, really? Him being who he is. Me being who I am.”

  “Does that mean you don’t care about him?”

  “It doesn’t matter, does it? In the end?” she asked quietly.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Seth demanded. The edge to his tone made anger rise in her, a sort of desperate fury.

  “It means that even if my cancer hasn’t returned today, it may tomorrow, or next month, or next year!”

  Seth’s mouth fell open in surprise. “That’s what you’re worried about? So what—you think Hughes wouldn’t be able to handle something like that?”

  “It means I don’t want him to handle it,” she said so forcefully that Seth blinked. She hadn’t meant for any of this to come out now, but she didn’t seem able to stop the deluge of honesty. Something about these circumstances, about the terrifying possibility—no matter how remote—that her cancer had returned, about the fact that Everett was sitting out in the waiting room, wondering and worrying, seemed to have blown the cap off her restraint. “God, Seth, don’t you get it? I wouldn’t wish what we had to go through with Mom, what you had to go through with me, on my worst enemy.” She shook her head, fighting back unwanted tears. “You and Mom were always so angry at Dad for leaving, but I never was. Don’t you get why?”

  “I guess not,” Seth said, stunned.

  “Because I completely understand him,” she burst out. Tears skittered down her cheek. “Because if I’d been an adult and could make my own decisions, I might have chosen to leave, too. Who would want to witness all that suffering, all that pain? Who would choose to sit by and watch someone they love slowly waste away, eaten alive by a foul, meaningless disease?”

  “You don’t mean that, Joy,” Seth said grimly. “You’re sick. You’re not thinking straight.”

  “I know precisely what I’m thinking!”

  “You were old enough to choose not to be at Alice’s side as much as you were.”

  “I had no choice,” she bit out.

  “If you had no choice, it was because you loved her so much,” he said sternly. “That’s not the same thing as being forced into something.”

  A convulsion of emotion shuddered through her. God, had all the pain and grief associated with her mother really been just beneath the surface all along, fresh and sharp? Seth stood and grabbed a box of Kleenex. She sobbed, taking one of the tissues when he offered it.

  “It doesn’t matter. None of that has to do with what’s happening right now,” she managed in a more subdued tone, wiping her cheeks.

  “The hell it doesn’t.”

  She looked up at Seth. He stood next to her, his expression a mixture of compassion and concern.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, wishing she could make him understand what she meant by those three words, all the love she had for him, all the regret and guilt she felt for adding to his suffering.

  A muscle rippled in his cheek.

  “Don’t you know how much you mean to me? You’re my family. I’d do anything for you,” he said.

  Joy shut her eyes and took a deep breath.

  “Thank you,” she said quietly. “Thank you so much.”

  “I think Everett would want to know. I had some words with him. I was wrong to doubt his intentions in regard to you. They seem genuine. I think you should tell him. He deserves the opportunity to choose, as well.”

  She wiped her eyes dry and threw the tissues into a waste can. She stood and faced her uncle.

  “No,” she said. Seth opened his mouth to argue, she was sure, but she halted him. “Please respect me in this. Please don’t take away whatever control I have in this situation.”

  His stony countenance crumpled for a brief second.

  “Just follow my lead in whatever I tell him is my reason for leaving,” she pleaded.

  “Jesus, Joy,” he muttered, sounding pained.

  “It’ll all be fine. You’ll see,” she said.

  After a moment, he nodded once. “But you’ll call me and tell me as soon as you get into Chicago and tell me when you plan to go to the hospital? I’ll meet you there as soon as I finish up here on Monday.”

  “I’ll have to take the car.”

  “Not a problem. I’ll drive into St. Louis with Rill when he goes to pick up
Amanda Garcia,” he said, referring to the costume designer arriving tomorrow. “I’ll pick up another rental car then.”

  She gave him a thankful glance. “I have one other favor to ask of you while you’re in St. Louis tomorrow,” she said as she picked up a notepad and pen that were sitting on the little desk. After she’d jotted down a note, she tore the paper off the pad and handed it to a bemused-looking Seth. His bewilderment faded to a solemn expression as she told him what she wanted.

  A few minutes later she led him out of the exam room, steeling herself for the task of seeing Everett and convincing him that all was well during their last night together.

  Sixteen

  Joy dropped her hands from her neck when Everett rapped on the bathroom door. Her glands really were quite swollen.

  “Come in,” she called. She’d left the door open a crack. He stuck his head into the opening.

  “You doing okay?” he asked.

  “Yes. I was just getting ready for bed.”

  He walked into the large bathroom. He wore nothing but a pair of dark blue pajama bottoms, the drawstring tightened low on his hips. She glanced over him, not hiding her appreciation, not guarding against her desire.

  Not tonight.

  His gaze dropped over her. “Another new gown?” he asked, touching the black lace strap on her shoulder and caressing her skin in the process. “I like this one even better.”

  “Thanks,” she said softly. Their gazes clung before something caught his attention on the counter.

  “So this is the medication the doctor prescribed?” he asked, picking up a bottle.

  “Yes, it’s not much of anything. Just something to help soothe my throat. The Tylenol has already brought down the fever,” she said. A prickle of wariness went through her when she noticed his narrowed gaze on her.

  “And that’s why you called Seth from the waiting room,” he clarified. “Because you wanted him to go and pick up throat spray at the pharmacy.”

  Joy nodded, forcing a smile. “I thought it’d make things go quicker to have him do that while I got dressed and checked out.”

  “It’s probably just my imagination, but Seth seemed awfully tense tonight.”

  “Really?” Joy asked, busying herself by pumping some scented lotion into her palm and rubbing it into her skin. “I told you how much he worries about me.”