by Emma Browne
When we were done, we all got in the car. I looked at my watch – we didn’t have much time to get to our next viewing. ‘What do you guys think?’ I asked, mainly interested in Miranda’s opinion.
‘Well, apart from how there’s carpet everywhere except the bathroom and kitchen, and how there isn’t a mixer tap in the bathroom, I think it’s a great place.’ Julia nodded. ‘I loved the dishwasher. Honestly, that flat could have been an absolute den, but with a dishwasher it would still be a winner.’
‘Uh-huh. Sure.’ I supposed it wasn’t a bad thing to have a dishwasher. ‘What do you think of it, Miranda?’
She shrugged. ‘Yeah, I think it would suit you well.’
Julia’s phone started ringing as I turned the key to start the car and Oasis came through the speakers. Julia turned the music down as she answered her phone, and, after a short conversation, she turned to me and said, ‘Sorry, but you guys will have to do the other two without me.’
‘What’s going on?’ Miranda asked.
‘Oh, it’s nothing. Someone from church. I need to go though.’
‘Oh? Should I come with you?’ Miranda glanced at me and sent Julia a look I couldn’t decipher.
‘Definitely not.’ Julia shook her head. ‘You should stay and help Jack. I’ll text you the list of essentials.’ She gathered her things and got out of the car. She waved, and then winked at me before saying, ‘See you both later!’ and slamming the door shut.
‘Uh-huh.’ I turned to the backseat where Miranda was sitting. ‘I wonder what that was all about?’
‘Who can know the mind of Julia?’ Miranda sighed. ‘I don’t have to come with you to the other places if you don’t want.’
‘You don’t want to come?’
‘No, I mean, sure. I’m happy to come along, but no pressure.’
‘Then you should come with me.’ I nodded and gave her a smile in the rear-view mirror. ‘But come sit in the front with me.’
Once Miranda was in the passenger seat, I pulled out of the parking space, and we waved at Julia as we passed her running toward the bus stop at the top of the street. She gave us an enthusiastic wave back, and I shook my head at her. Miranda spent the next few minutes staring out of the passenger window. She sat straight and stiff in her seat.
‘Are you going to tell me what has you this quiet?’
She glanced at me before quickly moving her eyes away.
‘No pressure.’ I pulled a face as though I didn’t care that much. ‘Up to you.’
‘Gah!’ She said and dragged her hands through her hair. ‘Sophia and Julia cornered me the other day, and now it feels like Julia is trying to set us up.’
I smirked. ‘Yeah, I was getting those same vibes. I wouldn’t worry about it. You know what she’s like. She gets an idea in her head, and suddenly she’s made nothing into something.’
‘I know,’ Miranda groaned. ‘And some of her ideas are great, but I wish she would have some boundaries and not barge into other people’s lives...’
‘Uh-huh.’ I bit my lip to keep from smiling and took a left towards the sea and Portobello, where the next flat we were going to look at was.
‘I see you laugh, but just wait. It’s going to spiral out of control if we don’t do something about it.’
I cleared my throat and gave her a more serious looking nod. ‘Sure. Sure.’ Frowning I asked, ‘And what would this spiralling out of control look like exactly?’
Miranda glared at me. ‘It would look like everything we don’t want to have happen, that’s what.’
I wasn’t so sure about that. In fact, I had a feeling the opposite would be true. But seeing how distressed Miranda was over it, I decided now was not the time to push. Instead, I would continue to play the long game and hope it would pay off in the end. ‘Uh-huh. You know she’s probably just getting herself invested in the idea of the two of us together again in order to distract herself from her breakup with Nick, right?’
Miranda nodded. ‘And it is nice to see her smile again. I was starting to think she’d lost her smile for good.’
‘Yeah.’ It was hard to watch both Julia and Nick go through what was obviously painful to both of them. I shook my head. ‘I still can’t make sense of why Nick broke up with her. It just seems stupid.’
Miranda’s eyes narrowed and she bit her lips. ‘Yeah, well I hope he finds some sense.’
The landlord of the next flat, Steve, was standing outside the house waiting for us when we pulled up, so we quickly got out of the car.
Portobello was a nice area, and the proximity to the beach was a definite plus, but as the landlord led us up the dark staircase to the little flat, I knew this wasn’t where I wanted to live. The smell of pets was evident as he opened the door, and as we entered the little hallway and Steve turned the light in the living room on, the fuse blew. He cleared his throat and tried a different light which seemed to work. ‘Of course that would be fixed before you move in,’ he said awkwardly.
‘Of course.’ I agreed, not sure if he meant the electrical problem or the pet smell. It didn’t matter; I wasn’t going to live there anyway.
Having made up my mind about this flat already, I spent the viewing watching Miranda instead. She wore a neutral expression as she took in the worn couches in the living room, and the stained mattress in the bedroom. When we opened the door to the bathroom though, she shook her head. ‘Carpets. In the bathroom.’
I smiled at how offended she sounded. ‘I take it you don’t approve.’
She gave me a dry look. ‘If you never want anyone to come visit you, I think you might have found the perfect place.’
We quickly looked at the kitchen before I shook Steve’s hand and told him I would have to think about it.
He made a clicking sound with his mouth as he winked in a way that made him look like a shady car salesman. ‘Better be quick though, I’ve got another five people coming to view it today.’
‘For sure.’ I shook his hand again, before steering Miranda out of the flat and down the steps to the car.
Miranda glanced at me as she put her safety belt on. ‘Just in case you have some strange idea about actually moving in to that place…’
‘Such a nice area, though.’ I sent her a wink and clicked my mouth in the same way the landlord of the flat had done to us as I started the car.
‘Oh, stop. What was that man thinking? The smell, the light bulb that went out, the mattress…’ Miranda held up a finger at a time as she went through her list. ‘And the carpet in the bathroom! Who thinks having carpet in the bathroom is a good idea? Honestly.’
I laughed. ‘Yeah, I don’t think I’ll go for that one.’
Miranda was still shaking her head. ‘Where to next?’
‘There’s this little flat up in Leith. The pictures look great, and it’s right by the sea.’
‘The sea would be a big draw. What’s the price like?’
It was double what the Portobello flat was. I shrugged. ‘I could afford it.’
‘Of course you can.’ Miranda was a little touchy when it came to money. ‘Why aren’t you buying instead of renting if you’re that well off?’
I winked at her and clicked my mouth again. ‘Who says I’m not?’
Miranda took a deep breath as though fighting for patience, then raised her eyebrows at me and gave me an annoyed smile. ‘Are you?’
I took a right turn at the traffic lights. ‘It depends.’ I sucked my cheeks in as I thought about it. I hadn’t made any decisions yet. I wanted to be near to Miranda so she could get used to having me around again, but mostly because there was nowhere I would rather be. And I was hoping she would soon catch on to how right we were for each other and want to be with me again.
But until then, I had to live somewhere, didn’t I? And I didn’t want to throw money away.
‘On what?’
‘Couple of things,’ I said evasively even as I knew it would annoy her. ‘I think you’ll like this next flat, though.’
She narrowed her eyes at me and turned the radio up as The Offspring’s The Kids Aren’t Alright came on, and she started singing along. Off key. I smiled at her random taste in music, and at how she knew every word of the punk rock song.
When we got to the flat in Leith, I texted the landlady to let her know we were there, and got a text back telling us she was waiting inside. Having been here before, I led the way to the old-looking building and up the stairs at the back of it. Heather, the landlady, was waiting for us at the door.
I shook her hand, and she smiled when I introduced Miranda. Heather gave us a quick walkthrough of the flat before her phone rang and she excused herself.
I followed Miranda into the living room, where she smirked at me and said, ‘A little on the stereotypical side, don’t you think?’
I glanced around the room, taking in the hardwood floors, white walls, black leather couch, big flat-screen TV on the wall, and all the chrome details. ‘Perhaps.’ I gave her an amused look. ‘You should have a look out that window, though.’
She went to pull the curtains apart and gasped as she saw the view. ‘I didn’t realise we are right by the sea! If I had this flat, I’d get rid of the curtains. Nobody can see in anyway, and there’s no reason to cover that view. Ever.’
She was right; the view of the sea would always be different and always beautiful. Still, as much as I liked the sea, Leith felt too far away from Miranda. If I lived here, I would have to make a conscious choice to go to her house, and she would never come see me. That settled the issue for me. There would never be a view as beautiful as Miranda; no sea could compare to her, and I wished then that I could tell her. I wished I knew how to convince her to take another chance on us. I rubbed my hands over my face to clear my mind of the wishful thinking that led nowhere, and smiled. ‘Yeah, I imagine it would never get old.’
Miranda turned her head to me, and I realised I was in her space as I looked down on her face. She didn’t move away, though. Instead, she tilted her face closer, her eyes on my lips, as though she was waiting for me to kiss her.
She startled when Heather said, ‘Sorry about that. Do you have any questions?’
Quickly jumping away from me, Miranda’s cheeks reddened as she glanced at Julia’s list. She cleared her throat and proceeded to ask a bunch of questions, making notes on her phone as Heather answered.
I sighed but let her escape into her list. I wondered what that moment had been all about. Since coming home from China, it felt like Miranda was sending out some mixed signals. On the one hand, she had told me she didn’t want any kind of romantic relationship with me. But then she would look at me like she was about to kiss me. Or I would catch her sniffing me when I was close by.
When Miranda was done asking all the questions, I told Heather I would have to think about it, which she seemed fine with. I had nothing to think about – I wasn’t going to get this flat.
On the way out, Miranda gave me a thumbs up. ‘You should take it.’
I scrunched my nose. ‘Nah… You’re right, it’s too stereotypical.’
Miranda winked at me and clicked her mouth like Steve had done. ‘That view, though.’
I smiled and went about making arrangements to rent the first flat we had looked at in Duddingston.
Chapter 26
Jack
Once the Christmas Market started, I saw less of Miranda, as she would go there straight after work during the weeks they had the stall and not come home until late. So, one afternoon in mid-December, I stopped at a falafel bar after work, ordered a couple of wraps, and took them to the market.
Miranda was sitting in the stall with her knitting, ignoring the shoppers going by the stall. Her hair was covered by a warm hat, and her scarf was tucked into a thick winter coat that came down to just above her knees. Her nose and cheeks were rosy from the cold, and her chin snuggled deep into the scarf as she counted stitches, seemingly lost in her own world.
Everything in me wanted to reach out and warm her cheeks with my hands.
‘Hey,’ I said, and she gave me a startled look.
‘Oh. Hey.’ She hurried to put her knitting away – as if embarrassed to have been caught – and stood up.
‘Busy?’ I grinned as she picked up a bunch of leaflets and re-arranged them.
‘Very. As you can clearly see.’ She gave me a sheepish smile as she waved her hands at the stall.
‘Want company?’ I could see she was on the verge to say no, so I handed her a cup of green tea.
‘Thank you.’ She wrapped her hands around the cup and took a tentative sip.
‘How many cups have you sold today?’
She looked away but answered truthfully. ‘None.’
I bit the inside of my cheek as I let my eyes sweep over the stall and the surroundings. ‘How many hours until you pack up?’
She checked her phone and sighed. ‘Six hours and thirty-seven minutes.’
I smirked. ‘Let me in the stall and I’ll help you.’
She narrowed her eyes as if unsure of what I meant. ‘Are you for real?’
I nodded and held up the carrier bag. ‘I also brought falafel wraps.’
She tutted. ‘Now you’re just trying to score points.’
‘Can’t a guy bring his favourite girl some falafel wraps out of the goodness of his heart?’
She gave me an unimpressed look. ‘No.’
‘Huh.’ I shrugged. ‘Maybe I’ll have to keep your wrap, then.’
‘I don’t think so,’ she scoffed, and waved at the carrier bag. ‘Here, hand it over.’
‘Oh, did you mean to say, I’m sorry, my favourite Jack, please can I have a wrap?’
She snorted. ‘I’m sorry, my favourite Jacky, please can I have a wrap.’
I grinned and handed her the wrap. ‘There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?’
‘I haven’t eaten properly today.’ She unwrapped it and took a big bite as she groaned. ‘It’s delicious.’
I leaned against the stall and unwrapped my own food to keep my hands from reaching for her. ‘Then can I come in the stall?’
She looked up from her wrap. ‘Uh-huh.’ Finishing her mouthful, she carefully set her food down before unlocking the side door of the stall. ‘Come on in.’
I smiled and stepped in next to her, causing her to take a step back.
She looked up at me, her eyes wary, as though she had suddenly become aware of how close we were.
I wanted to step closer still, reach out and cup her cheek, breathe her in, drop soft kisses along her jaw… I caught myself before doing any of that. Instead, I let myself keep gazing into her eyes, until she flinched and looked away, breaking the charge of the moment.
I cleared my throat and took a step away. Pretending there wasn’t enough electricity to power the city between us, I tried to be casual. ‘Do you have a strategy for how to get any cups sold tonight?’
‘Yeah. I was going to try to be friendly to people.’ She grimaced. ‘I tried that for a while, but I was tired, and hungry, and cold, so I think my friendly might have accidentally scared some people off.’
‘Huh.’ I bit my lip to hide a smile. ‘Have you thought of doing some kind of give away?’
‘Like what?’ She wiped her mouth with her fingers and flicked her tongue over her lips.
I tore my gaze away from her lips and tried to remember what we were talking about. ‘Like sign up to our mailing list for the chance to win a period cup? It might create a bit of interest in the stall, which might lead to some sales.’
‘Sure. Let’s try it.’ She took another bite of her wrap before she stuffed the serviette into the carrier bag and ducked under the counter. Bringing out a big sheet of paper and a red pen, she quirked her eyebrow. ‘How’s your handwriting?’
I shook my head.
‘Never mind. I’ll do it.’ Miranda started writing just as a group of women came up to the stall. She ignored them, which I took as my cue to start chatting.
By
the time the ladies left, they had all signed up to the mailing list, and I had sold two cups. I turned to Miranda, who had just finished writing the sign, and grinned.
She stared at me, clearly unimpressed. ‘You think you’re so cool.’
I laughed. ‘Maybe we should have a competition. Who can sell the most cups tonight?’
‘Fine. We both know who’ll win, though.’ She waved her hand at my face. ‘You’ll just use those pretty blue eyes…’
‘Ah, but you know I only have eyes for you.’ I winked at her.
She snorted. ‘We should work together instead. You can charm the ladies and I’ll handle the sales?’
It turned out we made a good team, and by the time we packed up the stall for the night, we had smashed the record for sales in one evening. Miranda had passed tired a long time ago, gone through a giddy stage, and now, as we locked everything down and headed to the bus stop, she yawned. ‘Thank you for helping out tonight.’
I smiled and looked down at her. ‘I had fun.’
‘Yeah. Me, too.’ Her eyebrows dipped into a hint of a frown before smoothing out and she smirked. ‘Jules and Soph will be shocked to see who holds the record for most sales in one shift.’
When we got on the bus, I made sure she got a window seat, and sat down next to her. She leaned against the window and was asleep by the time the bus pulled away from the stop. I watched her as she slept, wishing I could put an arm around her and snuggle her up with me. But I didn’t think that would go over too well, so I let her sleep in peace and only put my hand on her shoulder to wake her when we got to our bus stop.
Stepping off the bus, the cold night air woke us both, and we walked the short distance to her house. I stopped at her gate, handing her the bag I had carried with her knitting in it.
‘Thank you,’ she said, looking me in the eye. ‘For everything.’
I smiled. ‘Sleep well.’
She nodded, her eyes on my lips now, and I wondered if she, too, was thinking of all the times I had kissed her good night. ‘You, too.’ She waved her hand toward her house. ‘I’ll just…’