by Kendall Ryan
“You forgive me for being such a jerk?” I asked softly.
She nodded and chewed on her bottom lip, which made me zero in on that mouth. Acting on instinct, I tugged her into my arms and held her tight against me for a long moment.
As she looped her arms around my neck and our bodies lined up, all I could think of was how right it felt. Like a key fitting into a lock. The last of the darkness faded away, and the loneliness that had become the norm for me lifted, leaving behind a happiness I hadn’t felt in years. I had to fight the urge to clamp onto her even tighter and kiss her senseless. When she pressed closer to me, her breasts branding my chests as her nipples peaked, I guessed she must be feeling it too.
Fuck.
I clenched my jaw to hold back a groan as my dick pulsed to life and my blood ran hot. My fingers tightened almost reflexively, clamping over her waist, drawing a choked gasp from Evie that sent a pulse of electricity through me.
I pulled away first, fully aware that if I didn’t do it now, I never would.
“I can’t wait for you to try what I made for dinner,” I said, praying to the boner gods to give me ten minutes of relief. “It’s roasted chicken with skillet cornbread and stuffing.”
Her cheeks were pink, and the hurt expression on her face had made way for a grin. “Sounds awesome.”
I led her back into the dining room and motioned for her to take a seat. “You want to pour the wine while I get dinner on the table?”
“Will do.”
I headed into the kitchen and prepped our plates. It only took a couple of minutes, but by the time I got back, the wine was poured and she’d moved some things around on the table.
“Okay, what’s different?” I asked with a chuckle.
“Knives on the right,” she said with a saucy wink. “And they call it a centerpiece for a reason. It goes in the middle. But I’ve got to tell you, Mr. Hamilton, I’m so impressed. All this for me?”
I shrugged and set down the plates. “Who better for than a friend I’ve known forever and care about, right?”
The light in her eyes dimmed a little as she took her seat again. “Exactly. Friends. And, um, thanks. It looks great.”
For a smart guy, I could be such a fucking idiot sometimes. In my effort to make her feel special, I’d just decreed that this wasn’t a date after all. It came out all wrong, and so far, my attempts at making tonight perfect were a major fail.
“Try the chicken,” I said, hoping that maybe if the food was good enough, she’d forget about what an asshole I was.
She cut off a morsel and tucked it into her mouth. I didn’t realize how important her reaction was until she made a low moan deep in her throat.
“Holy crap, that’s good. So moist and juicy,” she murmured.
A thrill shot through me, and I forked up a bite myself just to make sure she wasn’t bullshitting me. “You’re right. Not bad, if I do say so myself. Pam gave me the recipe.”
We worked our way around the plate, trying bites of everything at the same time and comparing notes. The meal went by without any more foot-in-mouth action, thank God, and when it was over, we were stuffed to the gills.
“How about I cook for you next time? I have this amazing lamb dish that—” She blinked and stopped short. “Not that there will be a next time, but . . .”
When she started toying with her napkin, I reached out and took her hand. “Evie, you don’t have to tiptoe around me. I like spending time with you, and this was my idea, after all. I’d love to do it again.”
She threaded her fingers with mine and held my gaze. “Then why did you try to break our date? And why were you in such a miserable mood at first? Did I do something wrong?”
I pushed my plate away with my free hand and leaned closer. It was time for a truth bomb. “Nope. Not a thing. In fact, I was looking forward to it all day. Your brother texted me. He asked if I wanted to hang out tonight, and I had to lie. I hate lying to him.”
Guilt clouded her eyes and she nodded slowly. “Me too. But what’s the alternative? We can’t hang out, or . . . maybe we could just tell him?”
I shook my head grimly. “We don’t even know what this is yet, Evie. If we tell him and things never progress beyond what they are, then we’ve either got him pissed that I slept with his baby sister when that didn’t even technically happen,” yet, my brain supplied, “or he mentally marries us off when we both want this to be casual.”
I didn’t even know if I felt that way anymore. Casual was such a fleeting word. But, damn it, I couldn’t deny that my heart was racing, and it wasn’t just from anticipation at the thought of spending more time with Evie.
It was fear.
The thought of admitting my own loneliness—and the way Evie made me feel—scared the piss out of me. Luckily for me, she didn’t seem to notice, because she nodded in agreement.
“Casual. I’m in. And you’re right. I hadn’t thought of it that way, but we can’t tell him. Ever. My brother can be overprotective and traditional like that. One sort-of date and he’ll be asking when you’re going to make an honest woman out of me. We’ve got to work together every day, and that kind of pressure will ruin any chance we have of juggling it all effectively.”
“So, now I answered your question. We can’t tell Cullen. Maybe you can finally answer mine,” I said, tracing my thumb absently over her palm. “Why did you come in my room that night? Are you really so hung up on the virginity thing that you just wanted to get rid of it?”
“What?” she asked, suddenly blinking at me.
“I’m not doing this. I’m not going to be your first.”
“You’re not. I mean, you weren’t,” she said tentatively.
“Wait, what?” The knowledge there had been someone before me sent ice water through my veins. I wanted to kill the motherfucker, beat him within an inch of his life, and I didn’t even know who the guy was.
“It was stupid. A guy I went out with last year. And it was horrible, as first times go.”
A knot formed inside my gut. “Meaning what? You didn’t enjoy yourself?”
Evie shook her head. “Not even a little. I wanted a do-over.”
“A do-over?” That wasn’t a thing. She knew that, right?
She shrugged. “My friend Maggie seemed to think it made sense.”
There was no sense in explaining to Evie that you could only have your first time once. It was clear that she was set on her goal of having a satisfying sexual experience, and damn if I didn’t respect the hell out of her for it.
She hesitated, but I could see her pulse jumping in her neck. “And I don’t know. I thought it would be good . . . with you.”
The tension in the air ratcheted up to the point that her hand started trembling in mine, and my dick went stiff. I’d asked for it by posing the question, so I had no one to blame but myself.
“So you still want that? With me?”
She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it before tipping her head in the affirmative.
Blood rushed in my ears as I tried to get a grip. So, what Evie was saying was that, right now, if I wanted to sweep these plates off the table, hoist her up on it, and fuck her brains out, she’d be in.
And I, a lowly male, was supposed to keep it casual and hold to the idiotic vow I’d made only an hour before not to sleep with her?
Yeah, talk about a fucking idiot.
Sex would surely complicate things, and we had both just agreed to simple. Easy. Casual.
I leaned in and cupped her face. What could be more casual than a kiss? We’d stop after just one . . .
Chapter Thirteen
Smith
Lightning. That’s what it felt like, kissing Evie.
The shock of adrenaline coursed through my veins, every cell coming to life at once. Her lips were so soft, I fought the urge to clamp my teeth on that bottom one, hard.
She, on the other hand, wasn’t holding back. One second, we were both seated at the table, and the next,
she’d slid from her chair half onto mine as she pressed herself tightly against me.
My hands made their way up to tangle in her silky hair, and she whimpered. The sound traveled straight to my cock, making it swell even more. I wondered briefly if the science of having literally all the blood in my body draining to my cock would kill me, but then she hitched one leg over my chair to straddle me, and I no longer gave a shit.
If I dropped dead right now, it would be with a smile on my lips.
I forced myself to release her hair, but only so I could free up my hands and push us back from the table. The maneuver opened up a whole new world of real estate, and I cupped Evie’s round ass in both hands. She gasped into my mouth, which only encouraged me to tighten my grip.
She pulled back a few inches. “Smith,” she murmured, running the tip of her finger over my mouth before crushing her lips to mine again.
Every muscle in my body was tense, primed, and ready to stand with her in my arms and carry her to my bedroom, but I still had one working brain cell, and it was bleating outraged commands.
Retreat!
Don’t go even one step further.
You made a vow.
But that vow seemed so far away, blurred by the havoc Evie Reed was wreaking in my lap. I sucked in a breath through my nose, trying to work up the discipline to pull back, when she swept her tongue along mine and simultaneously ground her pussy against my cock.
I gripped her ass tighter, working her over my shaft again until she started moving on her own, writhing against me, making desperate little whimpering sounds that tugged at the last of my self-control.
The friction we were creating sucked the air from me, and for a second, all I could hear was the pounding of my heartbeat.
“Smith. Please,” she murmured into my mouth, the break in her voice filling me with hot lust.
Vows were meant to be broken. Besides, no one could be expected to turn down an offer like this one. The woman I’d been fantasizing about for two weeks was rubbing all up on me, hot, wet, and ready for my cock.
And she’s your best friend’s sister.
The thought of Cullen—the lies I’d already told him, the lies I would continue to tell—had me freezing in place. It took Evie a second to realize I was no longer kissing her back and my questing hands had stilled, but when she did, she groaned.
“Nooo,” she muttered as she pulled away. “Smith, don’t think about him. I’m not a child anymore. I’m a grown woman, and I get to live my own life and make my own choices.” As if to prove it, she leaned in and plastered her magnificent tits against my chest.
I met her gaze and bit back my own groan of frustration. Her face was flushed with unquenched need, her hair mussed from my fingers, her lips plump and damp. I’d never wanted to fuck like I did right now. My blood sang with it. Every instinct was urging me to finish the job I’d started. To drive inside that sweet little cunt until she screamed my name and I exploded inside her.
But until I knew what this was between us? Until I knew I could offer Evie more than I’d ever managed to give a woman before? Until then, I had to resist, because sharing a dinner and a kiss with your best friend’s sister was bad. But knowingly taking her to bed without having any idea of what was going to happen after that? That was unforgivable.
In fact, if I were in Cullen’s shoes and Evie was Pam? I’d have cut Cullen’s balls off for even thinking about it.
My cock pulsed once and wept a single tear as I patted her ass lightly and slid her from my lap to stand.
“I’d love for you to stay a while longer. Have dessert. Watch a movie. But we can’t sleep together, Evie. Not now. Not yet. Once we cross that line, there’s no going back, and I need to make sure I’m worthy of the gift you want to give me.” And that the fallout will be something we can both live with.
I kept that last part to myself, though, because I didn’t want her blaming Cullen’s overprotectiveness for me backing away. The fact was, there was a part of me that needed time outside her circle of hotness to think straight. Not any part below the waist, of course, but somewhere in my cranium, I knew that Cullen was only part of the problem. My fucked-up childhood—moving from foster home to foster home before being adopted—had left a space inside me where trust used to live. Too many times, I’d let myself be lulled by a warm hug and a soft heart. I let hope in, and then just when I thought things would be all right, I’d been ripped away again. New family. New problems.
After a while, it had become more than clear that hope was the enemy. Expect the least, and you’ll never be disappointed. The Smith Hamilton human-relationships credo.
So it had been easy enough to keep a distance between myself and the women I slept with. If they opted out after a few weeks, it was fine because I’d never really opted in.
With Evie, that wasn’t an option.
I was either in or out, because I cared. A lot. A lot more than I ever expected to. And the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her.
“You’re a great guy, Smith. I’m not asking for a proposal, you know. I just want you to be my first real lover, is all,” she said softly.
The word “first” implied there would be more after me, and the thought sent a hot knife of jealousy straight through me. It was all I could do not to say fuck it and take her right there. Make her forget that any other man even existed.
That inclination alone was enough to sober me and get my mind right.
“I want to hang out with you, Evie. I want us to spend more time together, but until we’ve got some idea of what exactly this is, we have to keep it in the friend zone. Can we do that?” I asked, watching her face for clues as to whether I was asking for too much.
She nodded slowly and ran a trembling hand through her hair. “I think I’d like that. I—I had fun too. I definitely want to spend more time together. And no telling Cullen anything, agreed?”
“Agreed.”
She excused herself to the bathroom, and I was grateful for the reprieve as I cleaned up the dishes. It was going to be tough, but there was a sense of relief there too. At least I’d get to spend more time with Evie, and for now, that was enough.
• • •
Three hours later, though, as I watched her drive away, it was far from enough.
I was a man on a ledge again.
After watching a rom-com—her choice, and a drama—mine, we’d wound up snuggled together on the couch. It was long past midnight, and I’d wanted nothing more than to carry her into my bedroom and kiss her until that sleepy look disappeared. She’d been the strong one then, getting up and giving me a light peck on the mouth before gathering up her things.
“This was really nice, Smith. Thank you.” The regret on her face was almost completely concealed as I walked her to her car and she slid in.
“Text me when you get home,” I said, patting the hood of the car.
I made it all the way back into my living room before I had my pants unzipped and my cock in hand.
“Fu-uck,” I groaned, the ache in my groin making the pressure of my hand almost painful.
I dropped back onto the couch, my face just an inch from where Evie’s head had been, and breathed in the scent of her shampoo. Squeezing my eyes closed, I stroked my shaft up and down. Long, easy strokes for as long as I could stand it, and then faster. I let all the mental footage I had of Evie form a movie, filling in the gaps in my perverted imagination. What I came up with was the best porno in the world, and my heart knocked against my ribs so hard, I could hear it as I worked my cock over.
“I want you to come inside me, Smith,” she whispered as she rode me up and down, faster and faster.
She pressed two fingers to her clit and moved them in a gentle circular motion as she impaled herself all the way onto my distended cock, taking me in to the hilt. Her pussy clenched, gently at first, but then harder as her nipples went tight and she threw her head back.
“Yes, yes!”
“Yes” was fucking right, beca
use I was right behind her. My muscles tensed and my cock went rock hard. A second later, I bellowed her name and white light shot behind my eyelids as I came on my stomach in spurts.
My breath was still sawing in and out of my lungs when my cell phone buzzed and Evie’s text lit up my screen.
Evie: Made it.
Christ, that made two of us.
My low laugh was more of a groan as I snagged a handful of tissues from the coffee table.
After I cleaned off, I thumbed out a quick reply.
Smith: See you soon.
I realized with a start that, even if it was tomorrow, it wouldn’t be soon enough. I didn’t know I was starving until I’d tasted her.
Chapter Fourteen
Evie
“What’s going on with you today?” Cullen chuckled, giving me a confused look.
The smile on my lips faded. “Nothing.”
It was a total lie. I was still on a total high from my might-have-been-a-date with Smith last weekend. Maggie had said it wasn’t a date—it was just two friends who had almost banged while hanging out—but I disagreed. The chemistry that buzzed between us was impossible to ignore.
And so even though I was sitting at work bright and early on a Monday morning, I was humming, my feet kicked up on my desk.
Cullen shook his head. “It’s nice to see you feeling so cheery.”
Smith shot me a smile. “Did you get laid last weekend or something?”
I almost swallowed my tongue.
“Don’t you dare fucking answer that,” Cullen said, looking distraught while I erupted in laughter.
Smith’s playful side wasn’t one that came out often, but I loved the rare glimpses he gave me into who he really was and how his mind worked.
It was the part afterward that made me twitchy.
“Speaking of getting laid, Smith, what’s up with the new lady?” Cullen asked.
My heart jumped up into my throat.
Smith played it cool. “Nothing really.”
“Don’t play coy. You said it was someone from your past . . . so, who is she?”