by Kendall Ryan
“Are you serious?”
She nodded again, her eyes bright. I swallowed as I imagined her naked beneath me, looking up at me with that same hypnotic gaze. “Each pair sort of has their own personality.”
“So, which is your favorite?”
“Cocoa and Nibs. Nibs is a chocolate Lab and Cocoa is his cheetah best friend. They were born on the same day and they do everything together. You’ve never seen anything more adorable in your life.” She pulled her phone from her purse and slid it closer to me before pressing the central control and showing me a picture of two animals spooning while they slept—a chocolate Lab the big spoon and a cheetah the little spoon.
“That would break the Internet if you posted it. And blow people’s minds. Cats and dogs are not supposed to act like that,” I said, genuinely impressed. “That’s amazing. How did you not tell me all this before?”
“Like I said, I get a little caught up and I don’t want to monopolize every conversation, so I have to watch myself. But I’m done now, really. Tell me more about you.”
The waitress reappeared with our drinks and I took a sip while considering her. I wanted to know more about her days—how she spent them, which of the animals she liked the most, but I also didn’t want to pressure her.
“Um, let’s see. There’s not a whole lot to know. I’m a doctor. I’ve lived in the city my whole life. My parents live here too.”
“Yeah?” She tilted her head to the side. “That must be different, never having moved away from your parents. I wonder sometimes if that’s the way to do it. My mother is always saying how much she misses me.”
“Well, honestly, I didn’t have much of a choice. I was going to go to Johns Hopkins when I graduated from high school, but my mom actually got really sick, and I felt like I needed to stick around for her through that.”
Her full lips folded into a frown. “I’m so sorry. That’s awful. Do you mind me asking what happened?”
I nodded. “Ovarian cancer. They were sure she would…well, you know.” I knocked on the wooden table, a rush of emotion making my gut clench in a vice-grip like it always did when I thought of how close we came to losing her. “She’s fine now, though. My father nursed her through and made sure she went to all the best doctors and received top-notch care. You’ve never seen a doctor work so hard for someone who wasn’t his actual patient.”
“Your father is a doctor, too?”
“Yeah,” I took a sip of my drink, worried that I sounded like the kind of dipshit that couldn’t think for himself. I’d always just knew I’d follow in my dad’s footsteps. But work like Bren’s? That was pure passion which echoed through her every word and gesture. “It was a family practice, actually. I did my internship at the office, and residency in the local hospital and then, when my dad was ready to retire, I took it over, just like he did with his dad.”
“Wow. That’s an incredible legacy.” She smiled, but suddenly a note of tension re-entered the space between us. Like she knew.
I cleared my throat. “That was more happenstance than anything. We all just happened to find fulfillment in treating patients.”
“I can understand that,” she said, nodding. “I see the vets come in and care for the babies or the sick animals and it feels very” —she paused for a moment before adding—“noble.”
“Thank you.” A little rush of heat surged through me at the smile that lit her face, and I glanced away, trying to shove the memory of her writhing beneath me from my mind.
This wasn’t about that. This was about getting to know each other the way we should have that first night.
I couldn’t seem to knock the devil off my shoulder who insisted that just because we started the night differently tonight didn’t mean it couldn’t end the same way. Me between those silky thighs, that tight pussy clenching over me as she called out my name.
I coughed and shifted in my chair to ease the sudden pressure behind my zipper and shot her a smile.
“We’d better figure out what to order.”
Before I shit-canned this whole dinner idea and ordered another helping of Bren Matthews.
Chapter Eight
Bren
I’d never wanted a glass of wine so badly in my entire life.
Though, of course, I would have taken a shot, too. Or maybe a hole in the head. Anything to get me off this constant roller coaster or to make me less likely to hide under the table until he finally gave up and left.
Swallowing hard, I forced myself to remember what he’d just asked me but was saved when the waitress stopped by our table to take our order. “Uh, the apple, bacon, and gorgonzola salad, I think. Sounds good. Not that I’m like craving apples or anything.”
He nodded. “It does sound good. Steak for me, please.”
He ignored my complete spazziness just like he had earlier. Which, of course, made perfect sense.
Because that’s exactly what he was—perfect.
Seriously, not only had this guy completely rocked my world in bed, but now he was telling me about his close family ties and how he stayed in the city to take care of his ailing mother? What was he going to say next, that he was up for sainthood after performing his next miracle?
“What’s on your mind?” His deep, rumbling voice broke through my thoughts and I looked up at him, feeling weirdly like those clear blue eyes of his could see through me and into my mind.
“What?”
“You have a weird expression on your face. I was just wondering why. What’s going on in your head?”
“Oh, uh” —I cleared my throat—“it’s silly.”
“Something about the animals?”
“No.” Damn. Why hadn’t I just said yes? That would have been the perfect out.
“Then what?” He laughed.
I glanced around and finally huffed out a sigh. “This is going to sound stupid.”
“I doubt it.”
“Well, then, if you have to know, I was wondering why you’re still single.”
He raised his eyebrows and I rushed to finish my thought.
“I mean, you’re handsome and successful. You’re a doctor. You must have women falling all over themselves to get to you, and you see hundreds of women in your office.”
“Dating a patient is not an option,” he said. “It’s unprofessional, not to mention unethical.”
“Okay, fine,” I murmured, slicing my hand through the air. “Other than that, though. You have to have had women fawning all over you, and you’ve got these stories about bringing babies into the world and taking care of your sick mom and all that, so, like, what’s the deal?”
“What’s the deal?” he repeated, and his eyebrows hitched slightly higher. Taunting me. Why couldn’t I make sense while talking to him? I’d had just about enough of stuttering Bren and wondered when poised Bren would come out of hiding.
“Yeah. Why aren’t you already taken? You’re what…thirty?”
He cleared his throat again. “Thirty-two.”
It seemed ludicrous. Unless, of course, he was already taken and hadn’t felt it pertinent to fill me in on that fact. I toyed with my fork trying to act nonchalant as I waited for him to respond.
He rubbed at his perfectly chiseled jaw. “Well, I do date quite a lot.”
“That still doesn’t explain why you’re single.”
He eyed me and then took a sip of his drink. “Look, I’ll tell you the truth, but then I’m going to be the one sounding silly.”
“Seems only fair at this point, considering the level of awkward I had to suffer through on your exam table,” I fired back.
“You got me there.” He tipped his head in a clipped nod. “The reason I haven’t settled down with one person is because I’m looking for more than just sex and companionship.” His intense gaze burned into mine as he leaned forward, and I barely suppressed a shudder. “It’s going to sound cheesy, but the fact is, I want a soul mate. Someone who not only loves me, but understands me on my deepest level, yo
u know? Accepts me for who I am, faults and all. After watching my parents all my life—and especially through my mother’s illness—I just think life is too short to waste it on anything less.”
A lump knotted in my throat.
Life was too short.
I thought of my own parents—my father’s illness and after. But then, maybe Mason’s rose-colored glasses only existed because he hadn’t seen the other side of that struggle…the devastation when the struggle was finally over and there were no winners.
I wasn’t sure if my parents had been soul mates, but they’d been in love. And now my mother was alone and heartbroken, so downtrodden that she could barely function without my father around to help her.
So, yeah, life was too short. Too short to fall head over heels for someone and then wind up totally destroyed when that person disappeared from your life in one way or another.
But I wasn’t about to get into all of that. Especially not with him—not now. He already knew more of me, both inside and out, than I’d meant to share with him. It was time to pump the brakes a little and get back on more solid ground. If I could just gain a little more control over an untenable situation, I’d start to feel better.
He talked about his favorite parts of his job, and we laughed over TV shows we’d both seen and books we’d read, but in the back of my mind, I was still replaying what he’d said.
He wanted a soul mate. Someone who knew his deepest self. I’m sorry, but that scared the ever-loving fuck out of me.
I couldn’t deny that I’d felt something the night we’d been together—sure. But that had all been animalistic, greedy need. Sheer, unadulterated attraction. Hell, that was half the reason I’d run out of his place like my butt was on fire.
What were the odds that some random one-night stand he’d potentially managed to knock up would be his soul mate? The one person he’d been waiting for?
Not freaking likely. Plus, add to that the fact that I might be sticking him with a baby, and then what? A guy like this would stay by my side, try to make it work, and settle even if I wasn’t his soul mate. Settling wasn’t an option. Not for him and sure as hell not for me.
He was a catch and a romantic all rolled up into one, and there was no way it could work out. At least, not with someone that had walled off her heart years ago. I couldn’t give him what he wanted. And I wasn’t even sure I wanted to if I could.
The whole idea of what might happen had my stomach tied in knots and before I knew it, we were wrapping the rest of my salad to go and heading through the restaurant’s wide glass doors and into the sunset-lit parking lot. He followed me to my car, the orange and pink of the sky bouncing off the white sedan, and when I reached the driver’s side, he stopped to face me.
“So, what’s the verdict, Bren? Are you feeling okay?”
I knew he wasn’t referring to the queasiness I’d mentioned, which came and went. He was talking about our real first date—he was asking how I felt about us. The truth was, I really didn’t know. He was handsome, intelligent, kind—and amazing in bed. But I didn’t really know him, and this baby would speed things up to an unnatural pace, and that terrified me.
“It was a nice dinner. Thank you for that.”
“Right. Well, I’m going to go out on a limb and take that as an invitation to call you again.”
He leaned down and my body froze. I knew I ought to back away—not get sucked in by his sweetened spicy smell, but his eyes were locked with mine and I found myself moving closer, letting my mouth close over his soft bottom lip.
His tongue didn’t sweep out to greet me. Instead the kiss was soft and sweet, but the feel of his skin on mine sent a wave of white-hot energy through me, along with a surge of memories of everything that mouth of his could do—everything he’d already done. Everything I wanted it to do again. And again.
But even as I started to melt into him, he pulled away.
“Good night,” he said, his voice all grit as he backed away and opened my car door for me, waiting as I climbed inside.
I watched him climb into his own car in a daze, my mind reeling.
Jesus, he was like a drug. One taste and I wanted to mainline him straight to the vein.
I had to get a grip. Clutching the leather steering wheel, I closed my eyes. The kiss had been a mistake. This whole date had been a mistake. Jesus, why did the best night of my life have to turn into my biggest regret?
But I would be okay. I was walking away knowing one thing I hadn’t been sure of before—this guy, whatever his romantic intentions toward me, would be a great father. That was more than I could have hoped for after a one-night stand. This baby—if there really was one—would be lucky to have him. That was what I needed to focus on. This wasn’t just about me anymore.
I drove on autopilot, playing the date in my mind over and over until at last I arrived home and put myself to bed. Tomorrow would be a new day and I made a mental vow it would be free from any lingering thoughts about Mason Bentley.
We wanted different things in life. Until I found out if I was pregnant, it only made sense to continue to talk. But I’d spend the time between now and the next time I heard from him shoring up my emotional and physical defenses.
Something told me I was going to need them.
Badly.
Chapter Nine
Mason
“How is it I always find myself standing in front of you, asking the same question?” Trent walked into my office unannounced, almost catching his lab coat as he snapped the door shut behind him.
I set down my sandwich on my desk and glanced at him. “And which question is that?”
“What the actual fuck, man?” Trent raised the clipboard in his hand then dropped it down in front of me.
“What?”
I glanced at the chart.
“Mrs. Ramirez. You filed her paperwork all wrong. In fact, everything you’ve touched this morning has been fucked in one way or another and the nurses are blaming your assistant and your assistant is blaming the nurses. Before all hell breaks loose with every employee of the female persuasion, tell me what’s going on?”
I scrubbed a hand over my face. “Shit. Okay. I’ll look at the files and fix everything. I’m sorry. I’m just a little distracted today, that’s all.”
“No kidding. You’ve asked Jean seven times if the hematologist reports are back. Do you think someone has leukemia or something?”
“No, not that.” I blew out a sigh, then pushed my sandwich away from me before motioning to the chair in front of my desk.
“You remember the girl I was looking for? Bren? The one who—”
“Snuck out of your apartment like you’d been holding her hostage? Yeah, I remember. You about to tell me you tracked her down and don’t know what to say?”
“Oh, I talked to her. Yesterday when she came in to see if she was pregnant.”
Trent’s jaw slackened. “You’re shitting me?”
“Oh, how I wish that were the case, because it was awkward as fuck, but nope. It definitely happened.”
“And you’re just telling me this now?” Trent demanded, spearing me with that betrayed and pissed off look like I’d just violated the man-code.
“There’s nothing to tell for sure, yet. I didn’t want to be an alarmist,” I reasoned, kicking back and stretching my legs out in front of me.
“When you couldn’t find her after your night together, you deemed it a dire emergency, holing up in your apartment like a pussy-whipped fool. Now she might be pregnant and you decided it wasn’t worth mentioning?” His voice had hopped up an octave as he stared at me, incredulous.
“When you say it out loud it sounds stupid,” I admitted with a half-smile.
“So, you’re waiting to see…” Trent started.
I nodded, finishing his sentence for him. “…to see, when her blood results come back to find out if she’s pregnant.”
“So, what are you going to do?” Trent leaned back in the chair and folded hi
s hands in his lap. “You seem pretty chill about the whole thing, weirdly enough.”
“Only one thing to do. If she’s pregnant, I take care of the baby and figure out how to be a good dad.”
“Obviously. But what about her?” Trent pressed.
I leaned my head back, staring at the tiled ceiling for a long moment before answering. “That’s the thing, isn’t it? I like her—”
“I remember that much.”
“But I mean, I really like her. We went on a sort of impromptu date last night, and I like who she is as a person. I want to get to know her more, but with this baby thing between us and not being sure how she actually feels about me, it makes things way more complicated.”
“Well, seems like it would make her want to make it work, right?” Trent shrugged.
“Exactly why I want to get to know her better before we find out about the pregnancy. There’s no way to know our real feelings. Once those test results come in, we’ll never know if a natural relationship could have developed between us. We’d always wonder if we were just trying to make things work for the baby.”
“I don’t get what’s so wrong with that,” Trent said. “We’ve seen plenty of couples who are trying to make it work because they got pregnant.”
“I know that. It’s just that don’t want either one of us to settle, you know? If we didn’t know the results—if there was some way of keeping the possibility of a baby out of the equation—we could date like normal people and see if there was a chance. If not, no hard feelings. And if so…”
“Then you know it’s the real thing with or without a baby.” Trent nodded. “Sounds good to me. So just don’t look at the results, then. Seems simple enough.”
“Are you kidding?” I said with a harsh laugh.
“No. What do you have to lose? She wants to keep the baby regardless, right? So what’s the harm in waiting a little longer?”
I thought back to the stack of custody papers she’d handed me on Friday night. “Yeah, she does.”