She let out a shaky breath. “She’d died instantly from a brain tumor.”
Shane took Kagan in his arms. Words got jammed in his throat. But this—holding her and stroking her hair, letting her body deflate against his—this he could do. This he wanted to do.
“Thanks for telling me,” he said. He should walk away from her and the growing feelings he had little control to stop. He was bound to hurt her.
But he wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t.
“You make it impossible not to share with you.” She lifted away from his chest and a pair of absurdly beautiful eyes struck him with awe. “It’s like you’ve got a direct link to my blather button. It’s really annoying.”
“I think you mean charming.”
“No. I definitely mean annoying.”
“Pain in the butt is part of his charm,” Sela said, putting a hand on his shoulder.
Shane grinned and knew it’d worked its magic on Kagan because she rewarded him with a hard-fought smile that pulled her lips up in a most distracting way.
“Now come get something to eat,” Sela added.
He took Kagan’s hand, and they joined the others. A few minutes later, his plate loaded with chicken and shrimp, corn on the cob, and his mom’s famous coleslaw salad, he sat next to Kagan on one of the cushioned lounge chairs. Sela, Luke, and Erin took seats around them. Luke’s parents and a few other friends of his mom and dad’s sat at the large wood-slatted table.
The warm sea air mingled with the scent of good food and…lavender. Shane nuzzled Kagan’s neck so he could take a whiff of her skin.
She giggled. “Stop.” She lifted her shoulder to her ear.
“How’s your hand, Erin?” Kagan asked, forking a shrimp.
“It’s good. Troy came over this morning and fixed it up. Tomorrow I’ll ditch the wrap job for a bandage. The injury did get me mentioned on Cascade’s blog today.” She took quick stock of her palm, turning her hand over. “You guys, though, were front and center.”
Shane exchanged a quick glance with Kagan. “Meaning?” he asked. He rarely read the blog.
“Meaning you two are not only the new ‘It’ couple, but you’re heroes. And there’s a new poll. You should go vote. I did.”
Luke cracked up. “Looks like we’re no longer the top story.” He put his arm around Sela.
“Thank God,” Sela said.
Kagan stiffened. Shane wanted to tell her not to worry about the publicity. Having the town back them up as a couple would help get her message across to Brett.
“What’s the poll ask? Please tell me it doesn’t say Love Bug anywhere?” Shane asked, referencing the poll a couple months back about his sister and Luke. He scooted until his hip brushed Kagan’s. Then he drew squiggly lines on her back with his finger and felt her relax.
“‘Will Kagan Owens capture Shane Sullivan’s heart for good by the Fall Fling?’ Right now the vote is leaning toward yes.”
Okay, maybe this blog shit wasn’t the best idea. Shane’s heart wasn’t available. Not by a long shot. He liked Kagan—a little too much, probably. That’s why he’d decided to stick with her boyfriend plan. Plus, he didn’t quit. Ever. Giving up equaled weakness, and he wasn’t some fragile guy who couldn’t handle helping a friend.
By the way Kagan’s back tightened, he guessed she didn’t want his heart either. She’d always made it clear they were just friends. Only, he’d caught glimpses of a different side to her lately, hadn’t he? A more seductive, maybe-one-tumble-in-the-sheets-wouldn’t-be-so-bad side. Danger bells went off in his head. He’d had friends with benefits before. But he and Kagan didn’t have that type of relationship. Friendship with her was different than his friendships with other women.
“Hey everyone!”
Shane turned. Luke’s sister Vanessa and her husband Hayden strolled onto the deck. Sela jumped up and greeted her best friend.
Talk turned away from the blog after that and for the next hour everything from Vanessa’s pregnancy to the best way to eat marshmallows came up for discussion.
“You almost burned down the kitchen making that,” Sela said, leaning back against Luke’s chest.
“Best sandwich ever,” Shane said, ignoring the accusation.
“Marshmallow and buttered toast.” Kagan contemplated the combination. “I think I’ll have to try that sometime.”
“How about now?” Shane jumped to his feet. He’d had enough group time and wanted to get Kagan alone for a little while. With his folks and their friends out for a walk on the sand, he’d get it in the kitchen.
Kagan took his hand. “Sure.”
“Bring me out one,” Sela called after them.
“You ready to be amazed?” Shane loved the way Kagan’s hand fit inside his, how peace wove a path inside him whenever her fingers touched his.
“I’m not sure marshmallows are on my list of amazing, but I’m willing to give it a shot.”
“Oh, they’re going to top your list after you have one of mine.”
“Who taught you to make them?” She let go of his hand and moved toward the kitchen island.
He grabbed her around the waist. “Not so fast. I need your help.” He didn’t really, but having her across the kitchen didn’t work for him. “And I taught myself.”
She fell against him without argument. “Ah, so Sela wasn’t just giving you a hard time.” Her eyes alighted with amusement.
“You think that’s cute, don’t you?” He positioned her against the counter and trapped her between his arms.
“I think puppies are cute.” Her gaze flicked to his mouth.
Did she want him to kiss her? He got the vibe she did. And he wanted to kiss her, really kiss her this time. Cup the back of her head. Touch lips. Slowly bring her closer until she responded and pressed against him. Nibble, tease, take pleasure from soft caresses before he coaxed her lips apart and fed from the sweetness of her mouth.
“Do you wear contacts?” he asked instead.
Her brows knit together. “Do you wear a watch?”
He smirked. “Was just trying to puzzle out the eyeglasses you sometimes wear.”
“I thought you brought me in here to cook.” She brushed something off his shirt pocket. “Crumb or something.”
Ten, maybe twelve inches were all that separated their lips. He only needed to lean down to taste. To see if reality lived up to his fantasies. He had little doubt it wouldn’t, so he pulled back. If he went down that road, there would be no turning back.
“First thing we need are the marshmallows.” He opened the pantry and moved a couple of items around on the top shelf to find the bag his mom always kept on hand. “Next up, bread.”
Kagan turned and picked a couple of loaves up off the counter. “White or wheat?”
“Wheat.” He went to the stainless steel fridge and found the butter.
“Ready,” she said.
Shane came up beside her. She had four slices of wheat ready to go. He cut a few pieces off the butter square and covered the bread, then popped them in the toaster oven.
“In that drawer there should be some metal skewers,” Shane said, nodding to Kagan’s right.
She pulled out a pair and Shane had two large marshmallows ready for each. Next, they cooked them over a flame on the gas stove. “I like mine really charred,” she said.
“Me too.”
The toaster dinged. They sandwiched their well-done marshmallows between two slices of buttery bread.
“This smells amaz—” She stopped like she didn’t want to admit Shane was right about his creation.
“Sorry?” He couldn’t resist a gentle tease. “I didn’t catch that.” Shane pulled her hand away. Melted butter ran down her finger.
He brought their joined hands to his mouth and licked her knuckle. Slowly. Carefully. She watched, her lips parted just a bit.
“Hmm?” Eyes still on his task, she gravitated closer.
Butter gone, he slid his bottom lip back a
nd forth along the side of her pinky. His print. He wanted his print on her. Everywhere. Lips, tongue, fingertips, until she didn’t remember any other man’s touch.
“Amazing,” he said. You are amazing. “I think you were about to say that.”
She blinked and looked down at the counter, then quickly withdrew her hand and picked up her sandwich. “I’ll need a taste before I confirm anything.”
Whatever just spooked her, Shane gave silent thanks. Being turned on in his parents’ kitchen with friends and family fifty feet away couldn’t be more stupid. “On three?” he said.
Kagan nodded, and they took the first bite together.
Her moan had him smiling mid-way to his second bite. “Okay, you’re right.” She peeked at him out of the corner of her eye.
“Usually am.” He reached for a paper towel and handed her one. Before grad school, lots of girls had stood in this kitchen with him. But none had leaned against the granite countertop eating marshmallow butter sandwiches, tying his stomach in a knot.
“I’m sure you think you are.”
“Attitude is everything.”
“What happens when someone else’s perspective trips you up?”
He didn’t get tripped up. At work he planned meticulously and didn’t run at the mouth. He studied his clients and knew the best approach to a successful working relationship. His team always got the benefit of the doubt, but not at the cost of client satisfaction. He stayed organized, firm in his wishes, knew the ropes, and maintained focus.
The same could be said for his personal life, he realized.
Until now. Now with Kagan, he wasn’t sure he knew the score. She messed with his head.
Keep your shit together, dude.
“Shane?”
“Yeah?”
“I asked if we could make one more?” Her eyes twinkled, and he wondered where she put all the calories she consumed.
“Sure.” Truth was, he’d do whatever she asked.
…
Kagan dangled her sandals in her hand as she walked to her mailbox. The late afternoon sun warmed her bare shoulders. The breeze carried a flower scent along with something sweet and spicy. A neighbor must be barbecuing.
She’d had the best time at the Sullivans’. Couldn’t remember the last time she’d been made a part of something where she could just be herself. Laughing and talking for real and not faking her joy, she’d felt like a person, not an object. The blog stuff had rattled her, but besides that, she’d been teased, complimented and asked for her opinion on baby names. Baby names! How perfectly normal that had made her feel.
Shane’s contribution—first name Tad, middle name Biff—had cracked everyone up. He’d gotten more serious with a girl’s name—Amanda Rose—and she’d wondered if he’d given thought to having a daughter. Then she gave herself a mental slap for speculating. When and if Shane ever married and had a child didn’t concern her.
Only the next week or two did.
Okay, his hotness did too. And his charm. And his blasted smile and magical touch. She didn’t normally swoon over a guy, but when they’d been alone in the kitchen he’d had her so affected by his tongue on her finger, she’d wanted him to use it all over her body. Right then. Right there.
Reminding herself he was a wham-bam-thank you-ma’am kind of guy had cured her of her lust.
The fact that he’d driven her home and stood waiting for her at her doorstep now with some surprise up his sleeve didn’t mean he’d changed his tune. He might appear to be wrapping his kindness in romantic colors, but Kagan had no delusions. He took this boyfriend thing seriously, just like any other job.
She opened her mailbox hoping the silver flower charms she’d ordered had arrived. But no, the only thing inside was a letter.
From her father.
Kagan shuddered, her jaw clenched. She contemplated ripping the envelope in two and tossing it, but took a deep breath instead.
“Get what you were waiting for?” Shane asked as she walked toward him.
“No.” She unlocked the door without sparing him a glance. If she did, she’d probably blather about her father some more and she didn’t want to do that.
Shane closed the door behind them. “Talk.”
“About?” She went to the small desk in her living room and tucked the letter underneath the smooth rock paperweight with Believe written across it that Charlotte had given her.
“Whatever’s eating you.”
“Nothing’s bothering me.” She dropped her sandals and curled one leg underneath her bottom as she sat on the couch.
“Liar.” Shane took the spot next her. “Come on, what gives? I can’t tell you your surprise until you tell me. Who was the letter from?”
Did he have to be so perceptive? And a million miles off the cute-chart when he studied her like he had the right answers? “My dad.” That took all of three seconds. Shane asks. Kagan answers.
“You’re not going to read it?”
“Nope.”
“Okay. But can I ask you one more question?” He drew her arm away from her side and rubbed his thumb along the underside of her wrist with gentle strokes.
“All right.” Her hand went limp. Other parts of her stood at attention. Twin parts. God, she hoped he didn’t look at her chest.
“What else is keeping you away from New York? I get your desire for independence. I get that you don’t want your dad controlling you anymore. But he’s the only family you have. Why not stay and try to work things out? Make them different?”
Kagan had hoped to avoid this topic, but she supposed she owed it to Shane to tell him the whole truth, as much as it pained her to do so. Would he forgive her lie?
“My father is insisting I marry a man I don’t want to.”
Shane’s hand froze. Everything about him froze. Kagan thought he might have even stopped breathing, as if someone had paused time and only she had awareness of her surroundings. A moment later he clicked back into motion.
“Why?”
“Brett is successful, rich, comes from the right family, and has the right connections.”
“Your, uh, ex, Brett?”
She pulled her leg out from under her and slouched down, letting her head fall back against the couch cushion. “We’ve never dated. I told you that to get you to agree to this boyfriend thing. At the time I didn’t think who I was or who my father is would come up. I thought it would get Brett to leave. He works tirelessly for my father and they’re very close and we were friends once, but we’re not anymore. I’m sorry I lied to you.”
Shane let go of her. “Your father wants you to marry Brett.” Statement, not a question.
“More like demanding. And when he did, I snapped. Something inside me finally said enough was enough and I couldn’t take one more second of it. If I’d thought I could ignore my dad and stay in New York, I would have. But he’d never leave me alone and honestly, I needed a break. I wanted to get far away so I could think without interference. I’m hoping by the time I go back this absurd idea of his has passed, and my father realizes how much his control is hurting me.”
“What does Brett think?”
“He agreed with my father.”
“He’s got feelings for you.” Kagan wasn’t sure if Shane was asking or stating a fact, his voice indifferent.
She shrank into the couch at his impartial attitude. His stiff posture. “I don’t know. I guess. But he just wants to please my dad and hopes one day we might feel differently about each other.” She covered her face with her hands. “I hate him for going along with my father’s request. I lost all respect for him the day he and my dad cornered me at the office and my dad told me what he expected before the year was out.”
Shane gently pulled her hands down and inched closer. His eyed had darkened with concern, friendship, and maybe even affection. He made a low, growly sound. Something deep in her belly reacted. A butterfly bonanza that took her thoughts to dangerous places—places like kissing. “The guy’s an a
ss.”
Kagan scooted back until her butt pressed against the couch arm. Kissing? Bad idea. Touching? Bad idea. Thinking? Bad idea. Best bad ideas ever, though. “My dad or Brett?”
A lazy smile crept across his handsome face. “You’re funny, Jelly Belly.” He rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. “Both.”
“I’m sorry for dragging you into my problems.”
He moved his gaze around the room. Kagan couldn’t be sure, but he seemed to stop at the picture of her and her mom on the mantle. “You can’t marry Brett.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Like that you made the right choice coming here?” His knee brushed hers and stupid flutters sprang back to life. “Like you fit in here and make Cascade a better place?” He fixed warm eyes on her. She’d never noticed the tiny flecks of brilliance in their blue-gray color before.
“Go on,” she said, poking fun. Otherwise she’d melt.
Dumb move. He smiled again—the one where his sexy lips stayed pressed together but spread so wide, a girl wanted to drop her inhibitions and do naughty things with him.
“Your dad’s an idiot. Parents aren’t supposed to dictate. They’re supposed to guide. Lose sight of that, you lose your kid.” His gaze slipped down. “How’d you get this?” He lifted his hand and grazed her cheek with his thumb.
She wanted to lean her cheek into his hand, but before she had the chance he pulled it away, gave a small shake of his head, as if reminding himself they weren’t on display here. “It’s a Chickenpox scar. I got them just before I was one.”
“I had Fifths Disease when I was three.”
Kagan scrunched up her nose.
“Figured we were swapping disease stories. It’s some contagious rash that was all over my body. The worst part was my mom and dad got it too. Mom had no symptoms, but was pregnant with Sela and had to go through a bunch of tests. My dad was sick as a dog. Fever, rash, joint pain.”
“That’s awful.”
Her Accidental Boyfriend: A Secret Wishes Novel (Entangled Bliss) Page 9