by Ines Vieira
“Well, deal with it. One of our brothers just sent out an SOS. That means the dude needs back up and when one of ours needs his brothers to be by his side, we’re at his side. Get your ass up and meet me in five at the cafeteria.
“What? He needs help in a food fight or something?” I growl unfazed at Jason’s whole brotherly speech. I know when an SOS comes in, all of us have to drop our shit and be where the brother tells us to be. It’s one of the reasons I applaud the frat for their commitment to one another. I just don’t feel committed to anything right now.
“I mean it, Quaid. Get out of this funk you’re in and man up. Your brothers need you, so that means whatever shit you’re wallowing over can wait an hour,” he says this time throwing my boots at my sternum.
“Fuck, alright, I’m up!”
“Good. You got five minutes,” he yells before slamming the door on me. I know I haven’t been myself recently, but Jason’s tough love attitude is growing old. I pull on my hoodie and the boots Jason so graciously threw at me and run downstairs. Maybe whatever trouble the brother in question got himself into, is precisely what I need to distract me from my turmoil. I’ll take anything at this moment to get me out of my head. When I reach the school cafeteria, Jason is already there with half the frat in tow. From Jason’s smirk, I bet these guys didn’t get the same invite I did, but I shrug it off. I take a seat next to him and scoff.
“So we’re here. Don’t see much trouble aside from us taking over half of the cafeteria.”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but just shut it for five minutes, will ya?” Jason quips.
“Fine. Who’s the brother that sent out the bat signal anyway?” I ask leaning back in my chair, my legs sprawled before me.
“You’ll see soon enough,” he answers cryptically. I start to scan the room to see if I can establish what's going to go down, but my eyes hold still once they see her. I swear just the sight of her has my heart leaping into my throat. She’s sitting with Barbie and Malibu Ken, picking at her barely-eaten food. All three seem to be in deep discussion, and from where I’m sitting I can see Jess’s worried expression. I force myself to keep still and not stand and walk up to her to demand she tell me what’s troubling her. Even with a frown on her face she still holds the same perfection I fell in love with. Her hair is up in a ponytail, showing off her long neck and sculpted chin and cheekbones. Glowing olive skin, clean of any makeup and those amazing red lips in full view for anyone to observe. The organ inside my chest is begging me to look away as if one more minute staring at her will inevitably break whatever is left of it, but my eyes refuse to listen. They have missed her just as much, and these stolen looks are all they have. But it’s not enough. The rest of my body is just as depraved as my eyes. My ears need to hear her sweet voice again call out my name. My arms need to hold her close to my chest, and my lungs crave to breathe in her scent. All of me screams out how they need her to be whole again.
I’m so distracted by finally seeing her after all this time that I’m only pulled back to where I am after Jason elbows my shoulder.
“Look alive, Stevens. It’s show time.” I try to get my bearings to see what Jason is going on about, although I’m pissed this means I can no longer openly stare at Jess, but then I see it. Grant and his minions have also arrived so now the cafeteria is packed. There is an electricity in the air that something big is about to happen which make me straighten my back on the seat, waiting to see if whatever Grant is up to will be something I want to partake in. His entourage disperses, and a few take their place at the tables we already hold. Whatever Grant has cooked up, he looks determined to see it through. Now standing alone, smack in the middle of the cafeteria, he pulls up a chair and sits looking at his trembling hands.
“Shit, he’s going to chicken out,” I hear Jason mumble under his breath. My curiosity is in full bloom now. What is Grant up to that was so important he needed back up from us and has him so riled up? Before I can ask Jason to give me the heads up, Grant pulls back his chair and places one foot on it. Then another and then he takes two more to land him in smack in the middle of the cafeteria table, standing still. The loud shattering of the room starts to dim once they realize they are about to be given a show, but Grant continues to look at his feet not uttering a single word. There are a few snickers and laughs, but as the minutes pass, it seems to die down anticipating Grant’s next move. It’s so quiet you can hear a pin drop. Only when all heads are facing Grant in perfect silence does he raise his head, conviction ingrained in his stance.
“My name is Grant Marshall III. Most of you know me either by my reputation or that of my family, but in reality what you know is a lie. A lie I’ve been playing at for the past twenty years. A lie my family would sweep under the rug by any means necessary for it not to make the light of day. I have been accused of many things in my life. I’ve been cruel, selfish and most of you can attest to either hearing a story about how much of a prick I am, or have had the pleasure of feeling it first- hand. I don’t deny I’m a world-class bastard, but I’ve never been called a liar, yet this is what I am.” Grant’s fists stay locked on his side, but he goes around the room making eye contact with every person in it. It’s as if he’s making sure he has everyone’s full attention, and no one leaves this room without hearing every word he has to say.
“So you may think you know me, but none of you do. Except for one. One of you knows me better than I know myself. One of you has shown me there’s more to me than the life that’s been planned out for me. That I’m more than the lie I tell the world each and every day. This person believes that inside me there is still a beating heart that hasn’t been polluted by my family’s criticism, or their need to control every feeling and action I make. This person saw me and even if I know I never deserved it, he loved me. But I was weak. I turned my back on him because I never saw what he saw. I never believed I would be strong enough to go against my family or against what was expected of me. I was so used to someone else pulling my strings I forgot I was my own person. I could be anyone I wanted to be if I just let go. I turned my back on the wrong person.” Grant leaps off the table and starts to make his way to Jess’s and a small sense of panic seeps to my spine. It’s only when he places his hands on Drew, do I exhale.
“I chose wrong. I should have been brave enough to fight harder for you. I promise I will never make the same mistake again.” There’s a pregnant pause where everyone awaits Drew’s reply, but from the look on his face and the glistening of his eyes, there can only be one outcome.
“I’m going to hold you to it, Prez,” Drew answers placing his hand on Grant’s cheek offering him an adoring smile. The relief in Grant’s poise is palpable as he leans in and kisses Drew for all of Columbia to witness. There are applauses and howls of excitement, but I don’t miss some stares and snickers coming from a few of the more closed-minded in attendance. Luckily they leave the room without damping what can only be one of Grant’s finest moments. My eyes can’t resist, and they seek out Jess’s reaction to Grant’s grand gesture. My chest feels bound by gruff ropes when I encounter the emotional woman before me. There is no hiding her affection for Drew and how happy she is for him, but hidden behind her soft smile, I see tears well in her honey-glazed eyes. She lifts her face just enough to see me across the room and once our eyes meet they lock onto each other. Her unshed tears, hurt me to my core and I want to wipe them clean and soothe her in any way I can. I want to fly over the tables and catch her tears and promise her anything as long as she takes me back. I know I need to give her space, but this might be the only shot I have at making her understand that the words Grant used in regards to Drew are the same I would confess to her if she just gave me a chance. Before my brain has time to catch up to any logic, my heart has taken over my lips as I whisper ‘I love you.’ She’s too far to have heard me, but close enough to have felt my words hit her like a freight train. One by one her tears start to fall as she grabs hold of her backpack and flees the
room as if someone’s chasing her. I stand up wanting to go after her, but Jason pulls me back down to my seat.
“Let her go,” he hushes. The need to punch my friend in the face has never been greater, as he continues to hold me in place.
“Jason, you have two seconds to get your hands off of me,” I growl. He really shouldn’t mess with a man when he’s as desperate as I am.
“I’m doing you a favor. Your girl is still too raw to hear you out right now. I don’t know what you did, but take it from me. When a girl runs away as she did just now, she wants distance, not closure.” I shake my head refusing to accept Jason’s observation.
“If you want your girl back, you need a cool head.”
“Grant didn’t look too cool and collected five minutes ago and he got what he wanted,” I bark shaking Jason off me.
“True, but he just got it at the expense of his whole family disowning him. Maybe even some of his friends, too. What are you willing to sacrifice for Jessica, Quaid?”
“Everything,” I reply unwaveringly. Jason’s eyebrow lifts staring at me trying to see if I’m not full of it. I’m not. The past month being away from her has been my own personal hell, so whatever sacrifice needs to be made, I’m all in. I just want my girl back and out of this limbo.
“Well Drew wanted Grant to own up to their relationship. What does Jess want? If you want her back in your life, then give her what she wants. Do it big and do it right. You might not get a second chance.”
Jess wants the truth. So that’s what I’ll give her.
The truth and the big grand fucking gesture.
Chapter 31
Jess
“My apologies sir, we thought this room was vacant. There was no 'do not disturb' sign on the door so we just assumed...” Carla stuttered embarrassedly. Apparently, the guest to the presidential suite was still occupying it. Would have been nice to have a head’s up. This was going to upset our whole schedule for the morning if we needed to come back to clean up this place.
“No please don’t apologize. I was hoping I could have just a couple of minutes to talk to one of your colleagues if you don’t mind?” I didn’t even have to see his face to know he was giving Carla his all American pearly white smile. The one that made even the smartest girls agree to anything. I pushed the cart into the room and came face to face with that same smile, and even I wasn’t immune.
“Good morning Jessica.”
“Quaid. Penthouse no longer enough for you? Need to switch things up and slum it up here?”
“You know each other?” Carla asks still gawking at Quaid. He’s only wearing a white T-shirt and low cut jeans looking like the Adonis he is. God was very generous the day he came up with Quaid. Either generous with him, or cruel to us mere mortals. The jury was out on that one where I was concerned. Quaid stepped closer to Carla and held out his hand, ever the gentleman.
“I’m sorry, we haven’t been introduced. I’m Quaid. Jess’s boyfriend. You must be Carla.” Carla’s eyes go wide as she shakes Quaid’s hand, but I’m too pissed at his introduction to tell her to chill right now.
“Ex. Ex-boyfriend. We broke up, as you recall.”
“I recall a break, not a breakup.”
“Yes well, we both know how you only recollect some of the story and not all of it. Unfortunately, it’s your biggest flaw. It’s no wonder our break up should suffer the same predicament. You only recount what suits you best.” He grits his teeth, and I see I hit a nerve. It should give me some sort of satisfaction, but it doesn’t. Pushing Quaid’s buttons does nothing for me, but only adds to how hollow I’ll feel later on when I’m in bed alone missing him.
Carla starts to shift her feet from left to right, and I see the tension in the room is making her uncomfortable. It’s not her fault that Quaid decided to spring this on me at my workplace. He should know better.
“Well when you do check out, please advise reception so we can come back up. Have a nice day, Quaid.” I say and turn to leave, my hand already on the cart and a startled Carla trying to keep up with my hasty exit.
“Wait, wait!”
“What?” I ask exasperated.
“Okay, now hear me out. This wasn’t the only room I booked.”
“Huh? You lost me, Quaid? What are you talking about?”
“You know the saying desperate times call for desperate measures? Well, you not answering my calls, texts or even having coffee with me, kind of made me fall in the desperate category. So I called your manager, asked which floors you were on duty for this weekend and booked them all. I have to say I was pretty proud when she told me she upped you to the presidential suite. Everyone here must be pleased with you.” There was actual pride in his voice and a gleam in his eye that once shone so brightly for me that I hardly needed the sun to warm me as long as I had that looking down on me every day. Maybe to someone else, the job I was doing to make my way through college would be swept under the rug and not talked about. Especially in Quaid’s world where women would be more familiar with the high-end fashion terms and not what were the best products to rid mildew from toilet bowls. Yet, here stood a boy who grew up surrounded by all that and he was proud of me for proving to everyone how I could be professional and capable of anything I put my mind to.
“Sorry I don’t mean to interrupt, but did you say you booked all the floors Jess was supposed to work on this weekend? All three floors?” Carla asks stunned. Quaid just nods not taking his eyes off of me for one second.
“And no one is there? No one is actually messing the rooms up?” With yet another all-knowing grin, Quaid nods again.
“And our manager knows this, yet she booked us both to these floors anyway?” Carla goes on. She’s still putting two and two together, and it feels like an eternity until she gets it.
“Does this mean we’re off-duty this weekend?” Carla asks, wanting to make sure that she came up with the right conclusion.
“Sure looks that way,” Quaid grins.
“You know, being our boss and all, you could have just given us the two paid days off. It would have costs much less than three full booked floors of empty rooms.”
“But if you had the days off, then my problem would remain the same. This way, you needed to come to work, and now we're here talking, aren’t we?”
“Still, not very savvy for a businessman to lose that chunk of change just for a ten-minute talk,” I tell him, making sure he understands ten minutes is all I’m willing to give him for this little stunt he pulled to get my attention.
“Well, I’m not a businessman and never intended to be, so I think whatever the cost for whatever the time you give me is more than worth it.”
“Okay, well nice to meet you. Jess, can you help me with the cart to the elevator? I promise she’ll be back in just a sec?” Carla says already pulling my arm to the hallway. When we finally get to the elevator far enough from the door of the presidential suite, Carla grabs my hand.
“Oh girl, you are in so much trouble. Chica, that one is a smooth talker, and from the five minutes I was in the room with him I can tell he’s got you all twisted up inside.”
“It’s nothing I can’t handle,” I say pulling up my big girl pants and playing it off as if Quaid doesn’t affect me.
“You sure about that? Because it didn’t seem like you got it under control. And the boy in there sure doesn’t if he’s forking up over 100k just to talk to you?”
“A hundred thousand dollars?!”
“And that’s just for one day at least. I’m sure he’s not paying full price, but still, it’s around those figures if not more.”
“Jesus Carla, didn’t you ever hear that ignorance is bliss?”
“Yeah, well, sorry to burst your bubble Chica, but in the real world when a man pays that amount he wants something more than talk. I don’t feel good about leaving you here alone, that’s all.” Now I understand why she wanted to get me away from Quaid to talk. On this, I could set her at ease.
“Car
la, you ever read fairy tale stories to your baby girls? You know the ones about those dashing princes that always save the day, no matter how bad the villain, or situation?” Carla’s brow furrowed in confusion.
“That boy, that man in there, is the reason why your baby girls can continue in believing in these fairy tales. Because men like Quaid do exist. A man who would fight for the honor and innocence of all that is good in the world. Quaid has many faults, but as long as I am with him, I am always safe. He would die before he laid a hand on me in malice. He doesn’t have it in him to harm for harm’s sake. Only to protect. I have very few certainties in this world, but aside from my father, Quaid is the best man I know.”
“I don’t understand, hun. If he is all you say and you love him as you do then why the Ex?”
“Because even knights in shining armor have secrets. And I never said I loved him.”
“You didn’t have to.” Carla grins giving one of my hands a light squeeze.
“I should get back and get this over with.”
“Is that really what you want? To get it over with? Is your head fighting with your heart? Because if it is, don’t listen to either. While both are at war, you won’t be able to hear your soul speak up what your destiny truly is.”
“It no longer matters. I’ve made my choice. Now go! Go to your babies and enjoy your weekend.” Carla gives me a side hug, and we push the cart into the service elevator.
Once the elevator door close, I shut my eyes and count to ten. Breathing in and out. Concentrating on each breath. These past weeks have been the most excruciating time of my life. They were my introduction to true pain. I had never really felt it in the flesh. I had felt others people’s pain and could empathize with it. Embraced and supported it. Tried to lessen the burden wherever I could. But to live through it? To live without the one person who once filled your heart with so much love? To be separated from the person that filled you up inside with so much joy you were sure you would combust with it? I could never fathom such pain could even exist. And now the source of my happiness and misery awaited me in the very room I was walking into willingly. Was I being brave or just a glutton for punishment? Was I trying to prove to myself I could face the pain and live on, or that the hurt had somehow lessened by time and distance?