by Lin Stepp
Chapter 7
Jenna walked back into the cabin in a daze. What just happened out there on the porch? She struggled to think; she tried to remember clearly. She’d been upset. Boyce came up on the porch. He gave her a hug to be nice because she was scared and then he talked to her. Such sweet words. They made her cry more. She always seemed to be crying these days. But he’d been so kind and so tender with her. Not impatient with her like Elliott. Not snapping at her or making fun of her. Just hugging her. Then, suddenly, something else flared up. Some man-woman thing. Or was it really that? Had he felt anything? Or had only she felt it? How embarrassing for that to happen when they were just getting to know each other. He was her neighbor and Sam’s friend, and she was still a married woman. She had no right to emotions like that.
She moved over to the mirror, that hung just inside the entry, to look at herself. “What’s the matter with you?” she asked herself. “The last thing you need in your life is involvement with another man. In fact, it’s almost sick to even feel anything for someone else in that way right now. Especially after what’s happened to you.”
Jenna shook her head in confusion. “I guess it’s because everything in your life is in such a muddle with Elliott’s unfaithfulness.”
That was the answer. She was on the rebound like in all those novels she always read. Feeling unloved and vulnerable. Imagining feelings where there were none.
She continued talking to herself as she cleaned up the dishes in the kitchen, put the pie away, turned off the coffee pot. “I’m simply an emotional basket case right now. And Boyce was just being nice.” She frowned. “After all, he pulled away and then walked toward his house as if nothing of importance really happened.”
Jenna curled up in the armchair by the fire for a few minutes to think. She needed to calm down and regain control before she called Sam. She watched the fire dancing in the fireplace and tried to clear her confused thoughts. But she just kept thinking about Boyce.
“He really is a wonderful person.” She hugged a pillow to herself. “So different from Elliott. So easy and comfortable to be with. Such a relaxed man.”
She chewed her lip thoughtfully. “And he does seem to like me. After all, he keeps coming over. He keeps staying to eat and to talk.”
Jenna sighed. It had been a long time since anyone male, other than Sam, had given her quality time. Made her feel good. Made her feel special.
Was there more to their relationship? She thought about that. Did Boyce find her attractive? Sometimes she caught him looking at her when he thought she seemed busy.
“Maybe he does like me a little as a woman as well as just a friend.” She whispered the words. “After all, there was that other hug when he startled me. Things changed that time, too, between us. That’s twice now when something physical happened.” She sighed. “Or did it?”
Jenna sucked in a shaky breath. Surely a man and a woman could just be friends. For that was all she and Boyce could be, no matter what feelings were floating around. Jenna shook her head. “I need to be careful with Boyce if these kinds of feeling are going to come over me whenever he gets close. I almost melted away in his arms just then on the porch. How embarrassing!”
She swallowed, still thinking about Boyce, picturing him. He was such a good-looking man. Tall, with those broad shoulders, and with those expressive blue eyes. How those eyes could talk. And those capable hands fascinated her. Artist hands. Whenever he put them on her and began to touch her, she had major reactions in all sorts of areas of her body. She laughed at herself for that thought.
“Perhaps it’s good to know I’m still very much alive in that way.” She shook her head sadly. “I haven’t felt anything with Elliott for such a long time. He’s so critical and and he’s never kind or gentle. I’ve pretended feelings in order to please him.”
She smiled to herself. She certainly hadn’t needed to pretend anything with Boyce Hart. “I don’t think I’ve ever had rushes of feelings and sensations like this with any man before. It scares me, but it’s sort of exciting, too.” She considered this. “And it makes me wonder. Elliott told me so many times I wasn’t a passionate woman.” She touched her fingers to her mouth thoughtfully. “Maybe he was wrong.”
She sighed deeply.
Whatever the situation, Jenna knew she would have to be much more careful around Boyce Hart. She didn’t want him to think she was an unfaithful sort of person like Elliott. In fact, she didn’t want to be a person like Elliott in any way.
She twisted her hands in her lap. “I truly like Boyce. I want to be friends with him. Surely, we can just be friends?” She bit her lip anxiously. “I can keep any other kinds of feelings I might have to myself. He doesn’t have to know. It would be awful if he knew I felt attracted to him when he was just trying to be neighborly and friendly.” She paused over the last words.
“Neighborly and friendly.” She repeated the words. That was the answer.
Jenna nodded her head. She would just be neighborly, friendly, and nice like Boyce. Like all these people acted around Orchard Hollow. Sam was right about that. The people here really were good and kind.
She smiled, thinking about Sam and some of the stories she had gathered for him from her visits around the area. She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost 9:30 - not very late yet. She felt calmer now. It was time to call Sam to share, to tell him all about Orchard Hollow.
Over the coming weeks, Jenna’s thoughts slipped back often to that night when Boyce held her so sweetly on the porch. She’d been right to interpret it as only neighborliness on his part. No further romantic episodes had occurred.
“I should be glad about that,” she said, feeling foolish as she glanced at a picture of Boyce on a sales brochure at the Hart Gallery.
She straightened the stack of brochures and then looked around for something else to do. Rain poured down in a torrent outside, and business in the Hart Gallery was slow today.
Getting out a feather duster, she began flicking it over the framed prints hanging on the wall. “Boyce was right about work in the gallery being therapeutic,” she admitted. “It has been and I really enjoy working here. I like meeting the tourists and I love talking with people about art.”
Although she’d fumbled around finding her way the first day on the job, Jenna told Boyce by her second day not to seek a replacement. She even took a smug satisfaction in knowing sales had increased on her work shifts.
The phone rang interrupting her thoughts. Jenna picked it up on the second ring.
“Hart Gallery, this is Jenna,” she answered.
“Hi, this is Carla,” said a familiar voice. “Is it raining there in Tennessee?”
“Pouring.” Jenna smiled, pleased to hear Carla’s voice. “And the gallery is slow.”
“Same here in New York at the bookstore - so I had time to call.” Carla laughed. “I think there’s rain all the way up the East Coast today”
“I’m having such a wonderful time here, Carla. I really love the quiet pace of life in Townsend. It’s so different from New York.”
Jenna sat down on the stool behind the counter. “I’ve explored the town around my work schedule. I toured all the little arts and crafts shops, the Heritage Center, and the Little River Railroad Museum one day. Another day I rented a bike, rode it on the bike path along the highway and then down the River Road past all the vacation houses along the stream. I even explored an old cemetery behind the Visitor’s Center, walked along the Little River and found a swinging bridge. And yesterday when I visited the Townsend Library a local book group was meeting and they were all so nice to me.”
Carla cleared her throat. “Listen, Jen. I’m glad you’re having a good time and I hate to be the bearer of bad news …”
“Oh, Carla, is it Sam?” Jenna put a hand to her heart.
“No. Sam is fine. He’s actually doing better.” She paused. “But Elliott called here right before I called you.”
“Uh, oh.” Alarm raced up Jenna’s spine. �
��Tell me what he said.”
Jenna could hear Carla tapping on the desk nervously. “He was still in Paris, of course. He said he tried to phone our place in the Poconos several times and didn’t get an answer. He also said he tried calling your apartment. He even called your parents. They told him they thought you were still with us.” She giggled then. “He was his usual arrogant self and wanted to know exactly where you were since we were already back.”
Jenna clutched the phone anxiously. “What did you tell him?” She bit on a nail. “You didn’t tell him where I was, did you Carla?”
Carla swore under her breath. “Don’t worry, Jen. It would take torture for me to tell that asshole where you were. I told him just what we planned to tell him - that you decided to stay on in the Poconos for a while. I also explained to him we’d been having trouble with the phone lines up there and that he might have trouble reaching you. I offered to send a message to you through the rental agency we use for the property and have you call him tonight in his hotel room. He assured me that would be unnecessary.” She giggled then. “Guess he didn’t want to risk Miss Lena answering the phone instead of him.”
Jenna felt a wave of anxiety hit her. “Do you think Elliott believed that story about trouble with the telephone lines?” She worried one of her rings anxiously around her finger while she talked. “And do you think Mrs. Bynam is sending those notes to Elliott and my parents?”
“Quit panicking. Everything’s going fine. We just had a little snag here today and I thought you needed to be aware of it.” Carla’s voice held a touch of humor. “The only thing Elliott didn’t seem to buy was why you would stay up at our place alone. He said you weren’t the type who liked to stay by herself, and he started ranting away about whether you’d be safe there on your own. Geeze, Jenna, he is so bossy.”
Jenna didn’t like the idea that Elliott was calling and asking questions. “What did you tell him, Carla?”
Carla giggled. “I told him a spur-of-the-moment, bold-faced lie. I told him Mrs. Bynam fell and broke her foot while we were there, and that the real reason you stayed on was to take care of her for a few weeks until she could get around better. He bought that in a heartbeat, Jenna. He said, somewhat disgustingly, that this sounded just like you - always giving your time to strays and allowing yourself to be taken advantage of by old people who were sick.”
Jenna sighed. “Well, that sounds like Elliott. And, Carla, it was amazingly clever of you to come up with that story about Mrs. Bynam like that.” She paused. “You know, I actually would have stayed to help Mrs. Bynam if she had broken her foot. I like her very much.”
“You see? It was a brilliant inspiration.” Carla laughed and Jenna found herself laughing back in response.
“Gosh, Jenna. It’s good to hear you laugh.” Carla heaved a sigh. “I’ve been so worried about you. This whole thing has been awful.”
Jenna twisted the phone cord in her fingers. “We can thank Sam that I am doing better, Carla. Coming down here was a wonderful idea for me. I never realized how oppressive Elliott’s apartment felt. Or how unhappy I was. There was so much pressure from Elliott in so many ways every day - and from Mother and Daddy. So many constant expectations. And I never seemed to do anything right.”
She paused thoughtfully. “Here, everyone seems to like me just the way I am. I’ve known peace for the first time in a long time. And I’ve created some good new art designs, Carla. It’s so inspiring here in the mountains, and I have Sam’s wonderful big room to work in with a big picture window looking out on the mountains. I sent some of my new designs to Jason at Park Press and he is really thrilled with them. The company wants me to do a great many more. In fact, Jason has been talking to me about coming on full-time when I get back.”
Jenna heard Carla clap her hands. “Oh, Jenna, that’s wonderful. I am so glad for you. You remember I was the one who used to encourage you to take art classes because I thought your drawings were so good. You always made the most incredible cards for me for my birthdays over the years and I’ve kept most of them. I used to hate it that Elliott made you do all your work in that cubby-hole office closet. That place was simply dismal. And he never encouraged you, either.” She paused. “What do the people there in Tennessee think of your work?”
Jenna hesitated. “Well, I haven’t shown any of my work to anyone here. It’s not as though it’s real art like the paintings we sell in Boyce’s gallery, Carla. It’s only little greeting card designs. I doubt anyone would be interested. I’m just glad I can be here for a time, and I’m pleased to have some time to begin to learn who I am while I’m here. A new friend told me that’s what I needed - to learn who I really am on my own.”
Carla interrupted. “Who you are is one terrific person, Jenna. And don’t let anyone say you’re not.”
Jenna smiled. “I’m so glad I have you, Carla. Thanks for being such a support for me through this time and for believing in me.”
She heard Carla snort. “Don’t be ridiculous, you’re my best friend, J. C. And I’m glad you kept using J.C. Martin for your art even after you married Elliott. At least that’s one change you won’t have to make if you leave Elliott.”
Jenna paused and took a deep breath. “Carla, I’m not going to go back to Elliott. I simply can’t. I know it’s going to cause a big dispute with my parents and probably with Elliott’s family - not to mention with Elliott himself - but I’ve made up my mind.”
She sat up straighter. “I got up this morning before coming down to the gallery to work, and I realized I was actually happy. Carla, I haven’t been happy in a long time. And I wasn’t happy this morning because of things or prestige - I felt happy simply because a ray of sun slipped through the rain clouds, the chickadees came to the feeder even in the morning drizzle, and because the smell of good coffee filled the kitchen. The best thing I’ve learned here about myself is that simple things make me happy. Some of the silliest, simple things make me happy. I never knew.”
“Oh, Jenna.” Carla’s voice filled with warmth. “ I’m really glad you’ve decided to have your own life without Elliott. I know it’s been a hard decision for you, because I know you always wanted to marry and stay married to the same person forever.”
Jenna sighed. “I did; I truly did. But I didn’t count on the person I married being someone who would betray my trust and be unfaithful to me over and over again. You know, one indiscretion I might have been able to work through, if Elliott had been sorry, but from what Sam and his detective friend learned, unfaithfulness has been a pattern with Elliott for a long time. You know, Carla, the hardest thing, I think, has been learning that Elliott was not who I thought he was at all. He is not a good person in any of the ways that matter to me.”
“That’s true.” Carla agreed with her. “The more Sam’s friend Jake investigates Elliott, the more awful things he finds. You won’t have any problem gaining a divorce with all that evidence.”
“Well, it’s taken me almost three weeks to decide I can’t go back to him,” Jenna confided. “I don’t believe I could spend my life with someone like that. I’d rather be like Aunt Lydia and go my own way, even if it means being cut off by my family. That might really happen, Carla. My mother holds very strong views, and Daddy generally goes along with her to keep peace.”
Carla made a disagreeable sound. “You’ll have John and me, Jenna, no matter what. And John’s family and my family. Plus Sam, Henry, and Mary. And Jason Bentley at Park Press and the people there. And all your friends at the art gallery. Plus a lot of other people, too. Just wait and see.”
“I’ll manage. I know I will. Being here these few weeks has already shown me that, Carla. I’ve actually been happier here living on my own than I was living with Elliott. That’s been a surprise to me.”
“Not to me,” mumbled Carla.
“By the way, I’m going to need another favor of you, Carla.” Jenna cleared her throat. “I hate to ask, but I don’t know who else can help me with this. I need
you to help me find an apartment. I don’t want to go back to Elliott’s place. I really hate it there. He can have it and everything in it. It was all his before we married, anyway. There are really only a few things in the whole apartment that are truly mine. I don’t want anything of his from that place. I’ll just start fresh or get something furnished. Will you look around for me? I want to come back before Elliott returns from Paris and move all my things out. I know it’s cowardly, but it’s the way I want to do it.”
“I don’t blame you at all,” said Carla. “And you know I’ll help you find something. I’ll start looking right away. What do you want?”
“Something small and simple, not lavish like what I’ve had.” She thought for a moment. “I just want a one-bedroom or studio-type apartment, Carla, with a good area where I can do my design work. One bath will be enough, along with a small sitting area. Oh - and I really want it to be in the area near you and Sam, if possible. That means a lot to me.”
“Hmmm,” said Carla. “I do have one idea for a start, but it really is simple, Jen, and it’s a third floor walkup with no elevators. It’s a one-bedroom apartment, a little roomier than a studio, with a lot of windows on the backside of the apartment; there would be plenty of light for your art. There’s a living area, a small kitchen with a dining area, and a bedroom. A plus is that the bedroom is big with a large closet and there’s a pretty nice bathroom.”
“It sounds fine, Carla.” Jenna meant it. “I promise I’m really not fussy. Where is it located?”
Carla giggled. “It’s upstairs in our building on the third floor,” she said. “It’s that little apartment we rent out to grad students sometimes. Since the last student moved out this fall, we’ve been putting off painting it and have just been using it for extra storage for the bookstore. We could clean it out and fix it up for you. What do you think?”
“I’ve seen that apartment,” said Jenna with excitement. “You and I painted it once. It’s on the floor above yours and John’s place, isn’t it?”