But fate was against her; Kingston wasn’t there that night, even though Nora spent most of the run looking over her shoulder, waiting for him to catch up. I can try again tomorrow, she thought, but then she remembered that she wouldn’t be there tomorrow; her mom’s surgery was scheduled for early Saturday morning, and she was taking the train home in the afternoon so she’d be there for everything. Todd had given her Friday off without reservation, and Nora already had her train ticket. A little fissure of disappointment rippled through her, but she beat it down. I’ll just have to wait, she reasoned, hoping that she could keep her nerve up until she had a chance to see Kingston again.
Carl still wasn’t back the next day, and Nora headed to the train station alone. She sent him a quick text, reminding him about the surgery, but she hadn’t heard back from him by the time she arrived, and she tried to ignore her disappointment.
Her dad was waiting at the station for her, and Nora brightened when she saw his familiar old station wagon. Slipping into the front seat, she leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “How’re you?”
“Doing pretty good. What about you, sweetie?”
She shrugged. “Okay. Glad to be home with you guys.” After a pause, she asked, “How’s Mom?”
Her dad grinned. “Right as rain. She’s ready to get this surgery over and done with so she can go back to playing with her plants.”
Nora laughed. “Hopefully, the recovery time won’t take too long.”
Her dad maneuvered the car expertly through the crammed city streets. “Doc says it depends, but your mom’s determined to have the shortest recovery time on the planet.”
Nora relaxed against the seat. “I’m glad she’s doing so much better. I’d been worried.”
“Nothing to worry about; she had her pre-op today, and they said everything looks good.” He gestured cheerfully to the iconic LOVE sculpture on the corner. “Nothing like a little love to make everything better, right?”
Nora laughed, but she felt a sharp twinge in her chest. Her parents had been together for thirty years, and they still seemed completely happy with each other. Will I ever find somebody I could spend my life with? Her thoughts wandered as her dad drove out of the city to the old farmhouse, and Nora was feeling melancholy when they pulled into the drive.
***
It rained through the night, but the clouds had cleared by the time Nora woke up the next morning. She made coffee for herself and her dad, but because of the surgery, her mom didn’t have anything to eat or drink. Still, they all sat out on the old wooden porch together, watching the sun come up, each lost in their own quiet thoughts, until finally Nora’s mom stood and stretched.
“It’s just about time to head to Mercy,” she said, smiling at Nora. “I’m glad you’re here, sweetie.”
Nora stood up and embraced her. “Me, too.”
Slugging the rest of his coffee, her dad headed down the porch. “I’ll bring the car around; can’t have my princesses walking through all that muck!”
As he rounded the corner to the driveway, Nora’s mom reached for her hand, and Nora looked at her, surprised.
“If anything happens to me,” she said quietly, “I just need you to know that I’ve never loved anyone more than you and your dad.”
Nora shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes at the unexpected declaration. “Mom, everything’s going to be fine.”
Her mother was silent for a moment, looking out at the yard, her eyes squinting in the hazy morning light. “I know. But I haven’t told you enough how wonderful you are, Nora Jane. You are my pride and joy, and that’ll always be the truth.”
Nora choked up, but she forced a smile as the station wagon pulled into view. “I love you, too, Mom.”
The drive to the hospital was silent, and Nora noticed that her dad’s fingers were white on the steering wheel. Are we all more nervous than anyone’s letting on? She wondered, pushing her glassed up her nose three times before she forced herself to hold her hands in her lap. Instead, she fiddled with her phone, sending another text to Carl before she tried to distract herself by looking at the weather forecast.
When they pulled up to the hospital, her mom insisted on waiting until they parked the car, even though Nora’s dad wanted to drop her off at the entrance. He didn’t argue, and the family walked through the automatic doors together.
Nora caught a glimpse of familiar blue hair as soon as they were inside, and she stared at Carl stupidly. He beelined for them, wrapping Nora’s mom into a tight hug.
She laughed and patted him on the back. “This is a surprise! We haven’t seen you in ages!”
Carl smiled as he released her. “Wanted to be here with you all today,” he said, slipping an arm around Nora. “Like I told your girl here, you’re like family to me.”
Nora gave him a quick squeeze, and when her parents were occupied with checking in, she whispered, “What about Reggie?”
Carl shook his head, but his eyes were happy and bright. “Right now, girl, I’m all about you.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. “I didn’t realize how scared I was until I saw you.”
Carl looked down at her. “Your mom is one tough lady, Nora. Everything is going to be okay.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Kingston had more fun than he cared to admit chasing his nephews around the yard that weekend, but it wasn’t as easy to get Rachel to open up as he’d hoped. He’d thought being there might make a difference, but she was still tight-lipped on Friday night when he brought up Mark after the boys had gone to bed.
The next night, he decided to try a little harder. Taking over the bedtime routine from his sister, he directed her to take a bath and have a glass of wine.
Instead of protesting like he’d expected, she’d patted his cheek and given him a half-smile. “I can’t remember the last time I did something like that.”
He scooped Blake up and dangled him upside down for a minute. “Go for it. I’ll take care of these hoodlums.”
Putting the boys to bed was harder than Kingston had expected, but he managed, and by the time they were sleeping soundly, Rachel had emerged, dressed in yoga pants and a loose T-shirt and still carrying her glass of wine. Kingston grabbed the bottle and joined her on the couch with his own glass.
“So,” he began, “what’s the news with you and Mark?”
She frowned and took a swallow. “We’ve started the paperwork process. Luckily it’s a no-fault state; I’d hate to think what kind of fight would ensue trying to pin the blame on one or the other of us for this mess.”
Kingston hesitated. “Is it his fault?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Who’s side are you on?”
He lifted his hands quickly. “I just…I’m trying to figure out what happened. You guys always seemed so good.”
She shrugged, but tears filled her eyes. “Good can go bad, I guess.”
“Is there somebody else?”
“For me?” Rachel shook her head. “No. Not yet, anyway. But I’m not going to stay off the market forever…unless you think I should?”
Kingston was surprised; Rachel rarely asked his advice on anything. “I think you need to do whatever feels right.”
She took another swallow of wine. “It’s just so hard, you know? It’s like all these years, this whole life has been a lie. And now I don’t know what’s real anymore.”
“The boys are real. And you’re real, Raye.”
She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Sometimes, I wish it were just a dream.”
“I wish I could do something.”
She glanced up at him. “I appreciate you coming out here,” she said slowly, her eyes searching his, “but I’ve gotta tell you, King, I’ve got a feeling you aren’t just here for me.”
He refilled his glass. “What do you mean?”
“Come on. You spontaneously decide to jet back to Texas for a weekend, just to see me and the boys?” She raised her ey
ebrow at him. “What are you running from; work or a woman?”
Kingston took a huge gulp of his wine, barely tasting it. “You know I love my job.”
“Then it’s a woman.” Rachel was quiet for a moment. “Is she good enough for you, little brother?”
He shook his head ruefully. “Doesn’t even know I exist.” He paused, considering how much to share with his sister. “And then there’s this other girl…”
Rachel sat up, crossing her legs underneath her as she turned to face him. “Okay. Spill. Now.”
Kingston laughed. “That’s what it takes to perk you up? My girl problems?”
“Hush. Maybe I can help.”
He looked down at his wineglass. “The first girl, the one who doesn’t know I exist, well, she’s a barista.”
“Coffee can be good,” Rachel offered. “Easy conversation starter.”
Kingston smiled. “We’ve had a few conversations here and there, but, well, I can’t quite bring myself to ask her name. What if she thinks I’m some kind of creepy stalker customer?”
Rachel eyed him critically. “Are you being a creepy stalker customer?”
He hung his head. “Yeah,” he admitted. “At least, until this week; I pretty much stopped going to the coffee shop.”
“How come?”
“Because—“ he stopped himself before he told her that her divorce was one of the things that was making him second guess his attraction to PB. “Just because I wanted a break, I guess,” he finished lamely.
“Okay. So what about girl number two? Please tell me you at least know this one’s name.”
Kingston grinned despite himself. “Yeah. Her name is Nora.” He paused, remembering the last run he’d been on before heading to Texas. “She’s in my running group.”
“Something in common,” his sister quipped. “Sounds promising. What do you like about her?”
“Well,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “I think I first noticed her because she reminded me of PB.”
“What?”
He flushed. “I’ve taken to calling the coffee girl PB…you know, ‘pretty barista’.”
His sister burst out laughing. “You are pathetic, you know that?”
Kingston shrugged, but then he cracked a smile. “It’s pretty stupid, isn’t it?”
She giggled. “Yeah, but then again, it’s also kind of sweet. So, Nora reminds you of the other girl, who you haven’t talked to…but you’ve talked to Nora, I’m guessing?”
He nodded. “We chat after the runs some nights.”
Rachel studied his face. “What’s holding you back?”
“What, other than the fact that I can’t decide which of them I’m hung up on?”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “Yes, other than that. Why aren’t you just going for one of them?”
Kingston shrugged. “I don’t know how long I’ll be at the New York office,” he said, searching for a plausible excuse for his fear. “There’s no reason to start something, right?”
Rachel shook her head and drained her wine glass. “Wrong. There’s no reason to waste any time wondering,” she said, her eyes serious and sad. “Even if it doesn’t work out, you can’t just pretend you aren’t lonely.”
“But is it worth it at the other end? The pain, I mean?” He asked, studying her face.
She hesitated for a moment, but then she nodded. “I wouldn’t trade a minute of it. Well, I’d sure as hell trade this divorce if I could, but I can’t. But when it was good, it was really good.” She interlaced her fingers through Kingston’s and gave a gentle squeeze. “You should go for it.”
“Which one?”
“Does it matter? Just pick the girl you can’t stop thinking about, and take a chance. The worst that can happen is she’ll say no, and then at least you’ll know, right?”
Kingston nodded, thinking about it. “Maybe I’ll have a cup of coffee when I get back to New York,” he said thoughtfully.
Rachel grinned. “Go get her, tiger. Just make sure you find out her name before you ask her to marry you!”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Everything was not okay.
Nora listened, numbly, as the doctor explained that statistically, three percent of every open heart surgery led to a stroke, but that only one percent of all the surgeries resulted in death on the operating table. The surgeon’s eyes were rimmed with red, and the woman sat with Nora and her dad a long time, but Nora barely noticed. Finally, the doctor got to her feet with a sigh and told them to take as much time as they needed in the windowless, private room before she turned and headed back into the hospital.
Alone with her dad, Nora sank back in the hard chair and squeezed her eyes shut. This isn’t happening. I must be asleep. But when her eyes fluttered open, the first thing she saw was her father’s hunched form beside her. His shoulders were drawn up to his ears, and he was leaning forward, staring blankly at his clasped hands.
Nora fiddled with the small diamond ring on her right hand. Just before going into surgery, her mom had slipped off her wedding ring and handed it to Nora. “Keep this safe for me, sweetie,” she’d whispered with a smile and a quick hug. Now, Nora turned the band again and again, not knowing what else to do. She glanced at her dad again, hoping he would take charge of the situation, but he looked like an empty shell, and Nora realized they would both probably sit there forever if one of them didn’t say something.
Taking a deep breath, Nora gently touched her dad’s hand. He clasped his fingers through hers without looking at her. “Daddy,” she finally said, “we need to take care of things.”
He nodded slowly, his eyes still staring at nothing. “Marigolds.”
Nora looked at him. “What?”
Her dad cleared his throat and finally lifted his eyes to her face. “She loved marigolds. We should—we should make sure there are some at the funeral.” His face scrunched up, and silent tears began to stream down his cheeks. Nora’s heart cracked as she leaned forward to hug him, but she didn’t cry. I can’t breakdown yet, she thought as she clung to her father. He needs me to keep it together.
Carl was waiting for them in the hallway outside the private room, and when Nora opened her mouth, he just shook his head and pulled her into a rough hug. She clung to him for a second, but then she glanced back at her dad. His tears had stopped, but he still looked hollowed out, his vacant eyes drifting lazily around the busy hospital without seeing anything. “Dad,” she said, “let’s go home.”
***
The next few days passed in a blur of condolence cards and casseroles. It seemed like everyone in town had stopped by with something for them to eat, and Nora dished everything into single serving containers, labeled it all, and froze most of it. At least Dad won’t starve, she thought grimly as she portioned off another pan of lasagna.
There were other things to be dealt with, too, and Nora handled most of them. She didn’t want to bother her dad, and since his shell-shocked expression hadn’t really changed after they left the hospital, a part of her worried that asking him for help would cause him even more pain. Carl stuck around, and Nora was grateful for his help. She’d never realized how much there was to do to plan for a funeral before.
Funeral. It was such a grim word, such a depressing word. Nora wished they were Irish; then they could just call it a wake and be done with it. Don’t the Irish celebrate with food and stories, rather than organ music and a melancholy viewing? Still, Nora wasn’t about to rock the boat; she’d found her mom’s will in the filing cabinet in the den, and Nora was determined to follow her requests to the letter. That meant an open casket viewing, followed by a funeral and a walk to the grave site the next day.
Carl was the one who suggested she email the running group and ask them to come, but Nora didn’t want to impose. Still, she emailed Lynne and let her know what had happened, giving her the date and place of the funeral, but she wasn’t really expecting more than a couple of condolence notes from the group. That Friday morning, Nora was sur
prised to see a clump of familiar faces dressed in somber colors waiting outside the doors to the funeral home when she pulled up with her dad and Carl. Kingston was there, Nora noticed, but even the sight of his face didn’t pierce her numbness.
Lynne came up to her and opened her arms, and Nora gave the woman a quick hug. “I didn’t expect you all to make the trip; thank you.”
Lynne nodded. “This isn’t something you should have to deal with alone.”
Tears welled up in Nora’s eyes for the first time since her mother’s death, and she took a deep breath, forcing herself to keep it together just a little bit longer. “It means a lot to me.”
“You’d do the same for any of us.”
That simple statement left Nora speechless. Would I? She thought as she hugged each of the runners as they filed into seats. Yes, I think I would. That’s what friends do, isn’t it?
Kingston was at the back of the line, and Nora looked at the floor for a moment before she lifted her eyes to his. Her heart started to thump a little faster, and Nora tried to ignore the impulse to throw her arms around him and never let go. Instead, she reached up and gave him a quick hug, but when she pulled away, his expression looked tense. Before she could say anything, Carl appeared at her side and tugged on her hand. She glanced at the front of the room and realized the minister was about to begin, and with an apologetic smile at Kingston, she followed Carl to the empty chairs waiting beside her dad in the first row.
Nora tugged on the bottom of her skirt and crossed and uncrossed her legs. She’d dressed carefully that morning, wearing a navy blue dress she’d bought in town the day before. Over it, she’d layered one of her mom’s crocheted cardigans that she’d found in her parents’ closet, wanting something that could make her feel closer to her. She’d resisted the urge to slick her hair back into a pony tail, instead letting the waves hang loose around her face. Mom always said it was important to look nice, Nora thought, a lump filling her throat as her eyes focused on the casket.
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