by Jeff Hirsch
“What was I supposed to do? You know what those guys would have done to her.”
“What did Gonzalez say about it?”
My stomach flipped. “I, uh, I didn’t see him.”
“You didn’t see him? That was the whole point of you—what about how bringing anyone else up here jeopardizes all of us?”
“And what about you not giving a crap about that?”
“I care,” Greer said. “But if we’re going to ignore the rules, I’d kinda rather do it for a couple six-year-olds starving to death in a swamp than for some girl who looks like she’d like to knife us all in our sleep.”
“She’s just scared! And I get that you’re pissed. But all we have to do is hide her until we figure out who her family is, and then we hand her over.”
“Oh! Is that all? Well, if we can hide her, then I’m sure a couple little kids won’t be a problem.”
“Greer!”
“Either you want to help them or you don’t.”
“You know I do, but we can’t—”
“I’m not asking anymore,” he snapped. “I’m taking Ren and Makela, and I’m going after them first thing tomorrow morning.”
“You can’t just—”
But he was already moving away from me and toward the girl. She jumped back as he approached.
“That’s Astrid’s cabin,” he said, stabbing a finger in the direction of the camp. “There’s an extra cot in the back. If you want it, it’s yours.” He pointed across the field to the main lodge. “Bathrooms are over there, and so is the kitchen. There’s running water, but the state only provides electricity from seven p.m. to twelve midnight. Ask Card if you need anything else.”
He stomped off toward the playing field. “Wait!” I shouted. “Greer! What about the Guard? What was the big announcement?”
Greer spun around. “They’re pulling out.”
“What? Pulling out? Why?”
“Because they’re handing control of the QZ over to the Marvins.”
I stood there dumbstruck, my mouth hanging open, as Greer rejoined the kids.
“Okay, people! It’s mambo time. Astrid, your team’s up! Eliot! Let’s get some music going!”
Eliot pressed play on the radio, but I could barely hear it. It was as if I were a mile underwater. The Guard was pulling out? Gonzalez was leaving? It didn’t seem possible. He would have said something. He would have warned us. Greer must have misunderstood.
There was a rustle of tree branches as the green-haired girl left the woods and hurried past me toward the cabins.
“Hey, if you want some help getting settled, I can—”
Halfway there, she veered away and started up the trail that led into the woods above the camp. My knife was still in her hand, slicing at the air as her arm swung back and forth. A second later, she was gone.
Astrid called out over the music. “Ready, everybody? Let’s go!”
The dance started. Greer had pulled Ren and Makela off to the side by the dining hall. He was down on one knee explaining something as the two kids nodded. When he was done, he sent them back to the game and looked at me across the camp. His gray eyes were icy.
7
SOMETIMES, WHEN I didn’t know what else to do, I ran.
The first few weeks after the outbreak I felt like my head was going to explode right off my shoulders. But then I remembered something you said about being on the cross-country team. I’d asked if running that far hurt, and you said that was the point—that the pain wiped every other thought out of your head. Every worry. Every doubt. Every fear. As if the whole world fell away, and all that was left was you and the course.
It was three o’clock in the morning the first time I tried it. I grabbed a flashlight and left camp, running until my legs ached and my lungs burned. It was just like you said. The outbreak. Mom and Dad. You. It all left me in a rush. It was nearly dawn when I came back to my tent and collapsed, feet bleeding and body drenched in sweat. I slept through the night for the first time in weeks.
The night I brought the green-haired girl to camp I ran until the muscles in my legs felt like they were filled with broken glass. But no matter how hard I drove my feet into the ground, I couldn’t knock everything that had happened that day out of my head. It was too much. Seeing Mom. Finding the girl. Fighting with Greer. The Guard leaving—actually leaving—and handing the QZ over to a bunch of strangers.
I pushed double hard up the last incline and made it to the reservoir, where I collapsed. Once I caught my breath, I cupped my hands and splashed water on my face and through my hair, then sat back on my heels. The reservoir was vast, with shimmers of moonlight skating across its surface. A fire from one of our neighbors’ camps flickered on the opposite shore. The only sounds were the chittering of crickets and the lap of the water.
I swear to God, Tenn, I thought. There isn’t a single day, a single second, when I don’t wish you were here. You’d know what to say to Greer, and what to do about the green-haired girl and the Guard and the kids at Joseph’s Point.
I picked up a rock and threw it out into the water. There was a soft splash and then quiet.
You’d know what to do about Mom.
I saw her standing in that alleyway again, the sunlight on her skin. I wondered where she was right then. It didn’t look like anybody had been staying at our place. Was she at the Guard shelter, jammed together with men like Tommasulo? Squatting in some abandoned house? Wherever she was, could it be possible that she was staring into the dark and wondering about me, just like I was about her?
I threw another rock, harder this time. Even if she was, I thought, it wouldn’t make any difference. The truth—the truth we all pretended not to know—was that Lassiter’s was fatal in all cases. The woman I saw in that alley looked like Mom and sounded like Mom, but Mom was dead and gone. Even if she went to the Guard and got her name back, it wouldn’t mean a damn thing to her.
The moon fell behind some clouds, turning the surface of the lake into a black plain. I thought about how cold it must be at the bottom, and how dark. I wondered what it would be like to be down there.
Would it be like that winter night in Brooklyn when the heat went out in our building? Remember? Mom and Dad dressed us in every stitch of clothing we owned and then buried us in blankets and quilts and old sweaters. At the bottom of all of that, there wasn’t any sound and there wasn’t any light, just this warm darkness wrapping itself around us. Would sinking to the bottom of the reservoir be like that? Peaceful and still?
An owl hooted, then flew from tree to tree. The moon had arced over my head and was starting to fall. How long had I been there? I took a last look at the water and then made my way through the dark to my tent.
When I got back, Greer was waiting for me.
8
“WHAT’S GOING ON? Is everything okay?” I asked.
All Greer said was, “Gonzalez.”
“Where?”
“Down the trail. And he’s not alone. He’s got a twitchy-looking Marvin with him.”
Damn it. “The kids still asleep?”
Greer nodded. “You want me with you?”
“Yeah. Go ahead. I’ll be right behind you.”
He started to fade into the dark.
“Wait! We should talk about the—”
“Forget it,” he said.
“But—”
“Don’t worry,” Greer said. “There’s plenty of time for me to call you a jackass in the morning. Now let’s get moving.”
The dark swallowed him up as he moved down the trail. I changed out of my running clothes, trying to still the nervous tremors in my hands. Gonzalez and a Marvin showing up in the middle of the night on the day they announced that the Guard was bugging out. Whatever they wanted, it couldn’t be good.
I found the three of them in a circle of light at the first turn of the trail. Gonzalez was standing there with a flashlight, looking uncomfortable in his body armor, helmet, and mask. The Marvin was next to
him.
He had on the same blue hazmat suit as the men in the truck, but sported a clear faceplate with a hose running to a tank on his back. It was overkill, but not unusual for someone new to the QZ. Through the faceplate I could make out dark eyes set in a slab-of-granite face. His gloved fingers were tapping against his biceps, which bulged beneath the blue plastic. By the time I joined them, Greer was doing a little song and dance in front of him.
“. . . you should totally take off that mask, Marvin. Maybe you’re immune! You’d be like a gift to science.”
“Greer, could you please—”
“Hush, Gonzalez. Now, about the suits. Are you guys trying to look like giant blueberries or—”
“Cardinal!” Gonzalez edged Greer out of the way when he saw me coming. “This is Mr. Raney. He’ll be handling security in the QZ once Martinson Vine takes over. I’m guessing Greer told you about today’s announcement.”
So it was really true. The Guard was bailing on us. I stopped a few feet away from them and crossed my arms.
“What can we do for you guys?”
Gonzalez started to speak, but Raney stepped out ahead of him. “Two gentlemen showed up at the doc’s office earlier today. Both of them beat up pretty bad. Thought maybe you’d have an idea how they got that way.”
“Why would I?”
“Said they ran into a girl with green hair and a skinny black kid wearing a Bio-Mask.”
Greer let out a big laugh. “Well, that leaves Cardinal out, Marvin. My man here is bi-racial!”
“Greer,” Gonzalez warned.
“We don’t know any girls with green hair,” I said. “And I’m not the only uninfected kid in town. I’m guessing one or two others might look like me.”
“Really?”
I gave Raney the biggest, most innocent smile I could muster. “Well, sir, Black River has always prided itself on being a diverse community.”
Greer cackled, earning himself an elbow in the ribs from Gonzalez. Raney stood perfectly still. There was a tense hush as he looked from me to Gonzalez to Greer. When he was done, he walked past me to take a higher position on the trail. He nodded up toward the camp.
“So, you guys have been living up here since the beginning, huh?”
I glanced over at Greer. “Uh . . . yeah. Just about.”
“That’s good,” he said. “I got a couple nephews about your age. All they do is sit inside and play video games. I try to take them hiking or fishing, and they act like I’m suggesting we reenact the Bataan Death March.” Raney chuckled to himself, then shifted so he was looking down at the three of us.
“Listen, fellas. I’ve been the new sheriff in town before. Everybody thinks I’m planning to come in and declare that up is down and black is white. And I’m not saying there won’t be changes—we’ll be making sure you all start school again, for one thing—but at this point I see no reason to cancel Lieutenant Gonzalez’s live-and-let-live policy when it comes to you-all. Sound good?”
He smiled, but there was something about it that made me think of the Terminator—like if I looked close enough, I’d see a titanium chassis behind his lips.
“And just between us,” he said, lowering his voice like it was some big secret, “those guys getting stitched up in the doc’s office? They look to me like the types that maybe could have used a good beating. So how about we just call that one even for now? If you should happen to hear anything more about it, or if you hear about anything else going on in the QZ you think I should know about, you’ll come tell me. How’s that for a deal?”
Raney stuck his blue-gloved hand out. Not seeing what choice I had, I shook it.
“Outstanding,” he said. “And tell you what, to seal the deal—Salvation Army sent us a big shipment just the other day. Lots of kids’ stuff in there. Clothes and whatnot. How about I send some of it up here with my guys?”
Greer jumped in from the sidelines. “That’d be great. Thanks.”
I shot him a look and he mouthed, What?
“Not a problem,” Raney said. “And listen. We’ve got some good stuff planned for Black River. Some fun stuff. You guys could use a bit of fun, right?”
I gave him a tight smile and then he turned to Gonzalez.
“Lieutenant?”
“I need to talk to Cardinal a minute,” Gonzalez said. “Wait for me here?”
“I’m sure I can find my way. You boys have a good night now.”
Raney pulled out a flashlight and strolled away down the mountain. Once he was out of sight, Gonzalez gave Greer a shove.
“Damn it, Larson! Why do you have to be like that? You just met the guy!”
Greer laughed. “I swear, Gonzalez, it’s like you don’t even know the most basic rules of warfare.” Greer tapped at his temples with two fingers. “You gotta get inside the enemy’s head.”
“Raney’s not your enemy.”
“He’s not now,” Greer crowed. “Not after that expert-level intimidation.”
Gonzalez rolled his eyes. “You got a minute, Card?”
I turned my back on him and started up the trail. “Later.”
“Card. Seriously. A minute. Please?”
I stopped. Kicked at a pile of gravel. I was exhausted, pissed off too, but there was no mistaking the tone in his voice. I glanced at Greer. “See you in the morning, okay?”
As I said it, I flicked my eyes down the mountain, hoping he’d get the message: Follow Raney. See what you can find out.
Greer smiled. “Yeah, sure. Tomorrow.” He threw Gonzalez a crisp salute. “Night, Lieutenant.”
Greer bounded up the trail. Gonzalez glanced at me, then called after him.
“Yo! Larson! Going all the way up there just so you can double back and follow Raney as soon as I’m gone? Waste of time. You’re gonna lose your target that way.” Gonzalez jerked his thumb back over his shoulder into the woods. “I’d head that way. Follow the streambed. He’ll never see you.”
Greer reversed course, knocking Gonzalez on the arm as he passed by.
“Good tip, Lieutenant. Thanks!”
“I’m in your head, Larson! Never forget that.”
Greer raised his middle finger over his shoulder as he left the trail. Gonzalez turned to me with a shake of his head, but I didn’t feel like playing our usual game of Wow, that Greer sure is crazy. Whatever he had to say, I wanted to hear it and go. I blew past him, heading for the spot where we usually met.
When we got there, I expected Gonzalez to get right to explaining, but instead he stripped off his mask and knelt by a little stream that cut through the woods. He filled his palms and splashed water on his face.
“How could you not tell us?” I snapped. “You’re bailing on us and this is how we find out?”
“I’m not bailing on you!”
“Oh, really?”
“I go where they send me, Card! And the Guard isn’t set up for stuff like this. We’ve been here almost eight months!”
“And how long were you in Iraq?”
“That’s different,” he said. “This domestic stuff? We’re supposed to be in and out. And I didn’t tell you because the governor of the State of New York doesn’t exactly check in with me when he’s deciding how to deploy the National Guard. I found out like five minutes before you did.”
I kicked at a root sticking up out of the ground. He was right, I knew he was right, but it didn’t stop me from feeling like the blood in my veins had caught fire.
“When?”
“Haven’t set a date yet,” Gonzalez said. “A few weeks probably for the transition.”
“Who the hell are they?”
“One of these megacorporations,” he explained. “Into a little bit of everything. Private security. Pharmaceuticals. Construction. Hell, about half the guys I served with in Iraq were Martinson Vine contractors.”
“And now they want to take over the QZ.”
“Apparently they’ve been offering since the beginning, and the governor finally said yes.”
“So what happens now?” I asked. “We all go live in some shelter? Get stuck with random families?”
“You heard what Raney said.”
“Live and let live? You actually believe that? What’s the real story, Hec?”
“Dude, it’s not like they cc me on their emails.”
“But you’ve gotta know something.”
Gonzalez sighed. He pulled off his helmet and ran his fingers through his sweaty hair.
“Look, the way I see it—me and my guys? We’re Superman and the Justice League. Okay? We do what we do for Truth, Justice, and the American Way. Martinson Vine? They’re more like Heroes for Hire.”
“And what were they hired to do?”
He shook his head and scuffed his boot through the dirt.
“Gonzalez?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “But if I had to guess? It was to make a problem go away.”
“What problem?”
He took a breath. “This whole damn place,” he said. “Black River.”
Whatever strength I had left flowed out of me. I dropped down next to the streambed. The water raced by, overloud, like crinkling cellophane. I rubbed at my temples, trying to get at an ache that had started deep inside.
“How?” I heard myself ask.
“I wish I knew, man. I really do.”
I pulled off my mask and craned my neck to look up through the trees. The way the wind bent the upper branches made it seem as if the whole earth was shaking. Like we were caught in an earthquake that wouldn’t stop.
There was a nudge at my shoulder. Gonzalez was holding out his canteen. I took it from him but just sat there with it in my lap. Gonzalez slid down to sit beside me.
“I would have told you about all this sooner if I’d known,” he said. “I promise.”
I nodded. There was this rawness in my throat. I unscrewed the cap on the canteen and took a drink, but it didn’t help.
“It just seems like every time we get used to something . . .”
“Yeah. I know.”
Gonzalez leaned over the stream and stared down into the dark water.