“Laney! Stop!” Lexi hollered, but I waved her away.
“Please, go away.” I covered my mouth, trying to muffle the hard sobs pouring from me. I ran down the corridor and out the front doors of the courthouse, flying down the steps. My lungs begged for air, but no matter how many breaths I took, I couldn’t fill them. It would be a miracle if I survived this. And the way I was reacting told me I might not.
Chapter 19
Six months later
Delaney
It was hard dealing with everything, but the reality was that now I had closure. The person who killed my parents got what she deserved. It sucked that it was Luke and Lexi’s mother. I asked God over and over the same question: Why couldn’t it have been someone else?
There was a reason why my path crossed Luke’s. It wasn’t just coincidence. The crime that Olivia covered up was meant to be discovered. And I just happened to be the one that helped her uncover it. Regardless of the fact that Olivia had been drinking, and that she and Travis had gotten in a fight, I was still partially responsible for what had happened to my parents. I had distracted my dad, and because of me he wasn’t paying attention to the road. We were all to blame.
I shuddered at the thought of how many times I had gotten behind the wheel drunk after Luke and I had a fight. I could have easily wrecked into someone or worse, killed them or myself. Sure, Olivia had her faults, but I was just as guilty as she was. I wasn’t sure if I could ever completely forgive her, but I knew I couldn’t live with this hatred forever. Finding out who caused the wreck might have brought healing to that part of my life, but it caused another wound. Just as big as the other one.
“Well, do you like it?”
I blinked a few times, realizing that Jordan had handed me a mirror. Raising the mirror, I looked at myself. My dark hair cascaded down my back, in a soft wave. The tips were lightened to golden blonde, giving my hair a striking ombre effect. A smile crept across my face. “I love it.” I picked up a layer of my hair, letting it fall slowly. “It looks cool.”
She swiveled the chair around. “Do you like the front? I gave you some shorter layers.”
“I do.” I turned my head from side to side. I hadn’t had a cut or highlight in almost a year. “Thanks for letting me come in on your day off.” I felt bad because we were the only two in her salon.
“No problem.” Jordan took the mirror from my hand. “I’m never really off, and besides, you needed something different. Sexy, cute.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I can pass on the sexy.”
“Oh, come on. It’s time you move on and start dating again.” She unfastened the cape around me, shaking off the strands of hair. “Start living again. Come out with Forbes and me this weekend. We can go to dinner or a comedy club.”
“I don’t know.” I didn’t have the heart to tell her the real reason I didn’t want to hang out with them. I knew Forbes still talked to Luke because every time I got together with them, they told me the latest news about him. It was easier to stay away from them. I should’ve found someone else to do my hair, but I needed a friend, someone to talk to. I had my therapist and Veronica, but when it came to friends, I didn’t have anyone.
There was always Lexi, and although I had finally answered her call, our friendship didn’t feel the same. I was to blame for that because she was clearly on my side when it came to her mom doing time for the crime. It just felt weird talking to her about the situation. It would take time before I would feel comfortable.
“Oh, come on. It’ll be fun.”
“I don’t think I’m ready for that.” I scooted to the edge of my seat, reaching for my purse on the counter.
“Seriously?” She spun me around to face her. My purse crashed to the floor, the contents spilling on the floor. “Sorry!” she squealed.
I jumped off the chair, and she knelt to the floor, helping me pick up my belongings. “Delaney, you can’t keep punishing yourself.”
“I know, and I’m not. Trust me.” I’d never shared my story with her, other than what had happened to my parents. I had only confided in Luke, Lexi, and my therapist about my grandmother and high school boyfriend. I didn’t want people feeling sorry for me, and it was easier to just keep people out of the loop about my past.
She picked up an envelope, and just as she was about to hand it to me, she stopped. “What’s this?” Her eyes zeroed in on the return address, and I sighed internally. Surprise covered her face, and she looked at me. “Is this from Luke?”
“Yeah.” I tried to take the letter from her, but she refused to let it go.
“Why haven’t you opened it?” With haste, she flipped the envelope to the front and then to the back. “I want to know what it says.” Holding it up to the light, she squinted her eyes.
“Give it to me.” I snatched it out of her fingers.
“Sorry.” An apologetic expression formed on her face. “I just want you to be happy.”
“That’s all I want, too.” I stuffed the letter back in my purse where it had been for almost two months.
“Then do something about it.” She sat on the back of her legs. “I’m so tired of seeing you in pain. You don’t go out any more. You refuse to hang out with me. Are you even working?”
“Yes, I’ve been working a few days a week.” I handed her my ATM card, but she shoved my hand away.
“I don’t want your money.”
“Please, let me pay you.” I kept my hand out, waiting for her to take the card.
She clasped both hands around mine, squeezing. “You know how you can pay me? Open that letter from Luke. I know he still loves you.”
“I can’t.” I pulled my hands away from hers and tossed the card back in my purse.
“Why?” She pressed.
“You just don’t get it, do you?” Tears started falling, and I slumped to the floor. “I can’t be with him. I just can’t.” I moaned, crying like a baby.
“Oh, Delaney, I’m sorry.” Jordan flung her arms around me. “I didn’t mean to press you so hard. I just hate what this has done to you. You’ve always been a strong, confident woman. I’ve never seen you so broken down. What happened to that person? You used to have guys eating out of the palm of your hand.”
“That girl doesn’t exist anymore.”
“Sure, she does. You just need to reach deep inside of you and find her. She’s there waiting,” she tapped my chest, “I know it.”
“When Luke and I got serious, I changed. The old Delaney is gone. Which is good, because she wasn’t someone I wanted to be anymore. The bad thing is that the new Delaney can only exist with the guy who helped her changed.”
“Then read that letter,” Jordan pleaded.
“I’m scared to.”
“Don’t be. I know you won’t regret it.” Holding me tightly, she caused the waterworks to flow from me again. The harder I cried, the tighter she held me. With each breath, I released more of the pinned up hurt. Pain trickled out of every crevice of my body, freeing me from all the torment I had been prisoner to. She was right, I had to start living my life again. All I had done was figure out a way to move on. But I was moving at a snail pace and bleeding along the way.
“I’m sick and tired of seeing two people so in love with each other and so miserable because they aren’t together.” She pushed my hair away from my face.
“It’s worse when you’re the person.” I sniffed and released a half-laugh.
“I’m sure it is.” Rising to her knees, she stood. “Let me help you.” She extended a hand and helped me stand. “If you don’t want to read that letter, then don’t. But if you do, and you need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.” She handed me a few tissues, and I wiped away my tears.
“I know you are.” I picked up my purse. “Why do you think I came to see you?” I gave her another hug. She led me to the front door and unlocked it.
“I’ll call you later.”
“Promise?”
“Of course.” I waved bye and s
tepped outside. The sun was bright for a February afternoon, and I tilted my head up, allowing it to warm my face. I took a couple of deep breaths of the brisk air before getting in my car. I set my purse next to me and stared at the letter peeping out through the zipper. The longer I stared at it, the more it called to me. I shook my head and started the car. Immediately, a song blared through the radio, reminding me of Luke.
The tears started falling again, and I rested my head on the steering wheel, feeling all of my strength drain from me. No matter what I did, I couldn’t stop thinking about Luke. It was as if he was begging me to read that letter. Surrendering to the fight, I reached inside of my purse and pulled out the envelope. I held it in my hands for several minutes before turning it over and separating the seal. Carefully, I removed the folded paper and opened it.
My eyes glossed over, and I blinked a few times, trying to clear my vision. The words formed on the page, and I sighed, preparing myself to read it.
December 5
Dear Delaney,
I know you said to leave you alone and that you never wanted to talk to me again, but I refuse to believe that’s what you really want. What you and I had was real, and I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. You brought out a side of me I didn’t know existed. A side that can only be shared with you.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t let you go, Delaney. From the day I met you at that frat party, I knew you were someone special. That’s why I made it my mission to find you when you refused to tell me your name. I just didn’t expect you to be my sister’s roommate.
Looking back at how we met and how we first hooked up, I know it wasn’t by accident. Our paths were meant to cross on purpose. Part of that reason being the healing you needed, which could only happen by my parents finding out more about your past. It sucks that it had to be my mom, but like you said, people usually know each other by six degrees of separation.
I know it’s hard for you, but it’s equally as hard for me. Not having you in my life hasn’t been easy. I’m just mad that I didn’t fight harder for you. But I did what you asked, and left you alone, hoping that time would heal your pain and allow you to see that what we had was beautiful. As the weeks pass, I’m afraid you’ll never come back.
But Delaney, I want you back. I need you back in my life. I can’t promise that being around my family will be easy, but I can promise I will be by your side, no matter what. We can’t change the past, but we can change the future.
I’m not asking you to forgive my mom or dad for what happened because I know that is practically impossible. What I am asking is for you to give us another chance. To fight against the odds and allow our love to prevail. One thing hasn’t changed, and that’s my love for you. Know this, Delaney, regardless if we continue to go our separate ways, I will love you until I die. My heart will forever remain in your hands. You’ll always be my lucky catch, forever.
Love Always,
Luke
I held the handwritten note to my chest, allowing another steady stream of tears to fall. I might have cried weekly, but this cry was different.
Deep.
Passionate.
Cleansing.
Invigorating.
And most of all, healing.
I thought I’d be better off on my own, but I was wrong. I was tired of trying to do this on my own. My fears, my doubts, they were still there. Just waiting for me to act on them. The reality was that I couldn’t fight my self-doubt any longer. I loved Luke, no question about it. And I refused to allow this tragedy to steal more of my life that it already had. It had already taken all of the people I ever loved. It wouldn’t take Luke, too. No, I would fight back and do everything I could to be with him. I had no idea how I’d be able to face his mom, but I knew one thing: Luke and I were meant to be together, forever.
Chapter 20
One month later
Luke
Each day sucked and went by slower than I wanted. And no matter what I did, or how hard I tried, I still couldn’t stop thinking about the woman I loved. People asked me how I was doing, and I always told them I was fine. But it was a lie because I still wasn’t over her.
I stared at the photos she took of us and remembered all the good times we had together. The canvases on the wall were a constant reminder of her. Even the junk mail that came in her name brought a tear to my eye. Despite Martin telling me to get rid her furniture and belongings, I couldn’t do it. I thought about moving out of the apartment and getting my own place, but something kept me there. Maybe it was the constant dream I had of her walking through the door. Or maybe it was her scent that filled my airways when I opened the closet door. All of these things gave me hope that maybe one day she’d come back to me.
The situation with my parents was difficult. Even though I couldn’t stand my mom, and she deserved the punishment, it was hard to accept that she was in prison. She had five more months of her sentence, and I did my best to talk to her weekly. I had taken two trips to Houston with my dad, but despite the visits, my heart hadn’t softened. But I had to try my best to forgive her. I felt for my dad, and I think he felt responsible for what happened, as well.
Despite missing Delaney and despite my mom being in prison, I managed to keep my head on straight. I put all of my efforts into what I loved: baseball and training people. Baseball and training were the only things keeping me afloat. And I would continue to give it my all.
“C’mon, Silver! You can do it. Push.” I urged PHU’s pitcher to lift the barbell.
“Ugh,” he grunted as his arms straightened.
“That’s it, man.” I helped him return the bar to the rack.
He blew out a heavy breath. “Damn, I gotta lay off the beer.”
I tossed him a bottle of water, and he caught it one handedly. “Yeah, it does make it harder.”
“But you drink, and look at you.” Silver lifted the water and took a drink.
Laughing, I said, “I drink occasionally, and I guarantee I don’t drink as much as you do.”
After Delaney left, I decided to buckle down. I stopped smoking, stayed on my clean eating diet, rarely drank, and worked out daily. That all allowed me to bulk up and get leaner. It was better than the alternative, and I figured I should practice what I preach.
“If you cut back on the booze and stay away from fast food, I guarantee you’ll not only have better workouts, but you will also see and feel a difference on the field.”
Silver sighed, his shoulders folding in. “But it’s so hard.” He sat on the bench and took several deep breaths before taking a few more sips of water. “Trinity likes to eat out, and ice cream is her favorite.”
“I understand.” I placed a hand on his shoulder. “But it’s a choice you have to make.”
“I know. I’ll try to follow the meal plans you sent me.”
“So, how are things going with you and Trinity?” I lowered my arm. “I haven’t seen her in a while.” It had been several months since I had introduced her to Silver. It was the least I could do since she had helped me with the surprise proposal to Delaney on the baseball field.
“Great. We’ve really hit it off.” He rubbed his chin, trying to conceal a grin. “Thanks, again, for introducing us.”
“Yeah, no problem.”
He glanced at the floor and then at me. “Sorry things didn’t work out for you and Delaney. Trinity told me what happened.” I looked at him with wide eyes. “But don’t worry.” He looked around to make sure no one was listening to our conversation. “I haven’t said anything.”
“Thanks. It’s not a story I like to share with many people.” I sighed. “And it is unfortunate that things didn’t work out in our favor.”
“Dude, I completely understand. Ya know, I can hook you up with some good looking seniors, if you want.”
I laughed. “I’m sure you can.” Flashes of Delaney appeared in my mind, and it reminded me again that I wasn’t over her. She still owned a piece of my heart. And I knew if
she called me, I wouldn’t think twice about taking her back. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m doing good for now.”
“Luke, you got a minute?” Coach Summers called from his office.
“Yeah, be right there.” I pulled a towel off my shoulder and tossed it to Silver. “Two more sets and then legs.”
“Oh, man,” he moaned. “You’re killing me.”
I turned around and said, “And let’s add a mile run when you’re done.”
His face hardened and his nostrils flared, but he didn’t complain anymore. Instead, he lay back on the bench, preparing to finish his presses. I knew these players’ limits, and it was my job to push them to the very edge, but not kill them in the process. Some I had to push harder, and others pushed themselves. Silver just happened to be one of those guys that needed pushing. He was a damn good pitcher with a bright future ahead of him. I was waiting for him to realize it.
I walked into the Coach’s office, and he shut the door behind me. “Have a seat.”
“Thanks. Is everything okay?” I sensed a serious talk coming, and my stomach tensed.
“Yes. I wanted to talk to you about something.”
My mind shuffled through our last talks, my recent interactions with team members, and the goals my boss, Julian, and I had set. No warnings went off, and I wasn’t sure if this was good or bad.
“How are you doing, Luke?” Coach eased into his chair and folded his hands.
“Good.” I nodded my head, trying to convince him that things weren’t as bad as they probably seemed. I had confided in him when I asked for a few days off to get my crap together.
“I know the last few months haven’t been easy for you. Is your mom doing okay?”
“Yeah. I talk to her weekly.”
“And what about your dad?”
I popped my knuckles, trying to keep calm. “He’s hanging in there. Misses my mom and is counting down the days.”
“I can only imagine.” He gave a heartfelt smile and then inhaled a quick breath. “I wanted to let you know that Julian resigned early this morning.”
My Lucky Catch (University Park #6) Page 22