“Why not? You invited me.”
Ella silently cursed her aunt, but calmly said, “No, I didn’t.”
“You sent me a note.”
“A polite word of thanks for saving my life. I felt it was only courteous to do so, despite the fact that you helped to put my life in danger.” She moved to a dresser where a decanter of wine and several glasses had been set out for their use. “Would you like a drink?”
“Yes, a little wine would be nice,” he murmured as he glanced around the room, then moved to sit in one of a pair of armchairs set in front of the window.
Ella took a deep breath to still the shaking in her hands then carefully poured out two glasses of wine. Praying that she looked calm and dignified, she served Harrigan his drink and sat down next to him. There was a tense distance between them that made her want to weep. She had no idea of how to cross it or even if he wanted her to try.
“George said you’ve sorted through all of Harold’s twisted affairs,” Harrigan said with a stiff cordiality. “It was good of you to try to restore all that he and Margaret had stolen.”
“I’m just sorry I couldn’t do the same with what the Templetons have taken,” she replied.
“Oh, I think they’ll soon fall. Not everything lost can be regained, but at least there will be some justice. And you heard what happened to Margaret?” Ella nodded, and he continued, “I was a little surprised that she would hang herself. I thought she was stronger than that.”
“Her strength was Harold, her place in society, and her wealth. She could see that they were all gone now.”
“I wonder which one of those things mattered the most?” he murmured, then finished off his wine, abruptly stood up, and paced the room for a moment before turning to stare at her. “And now you plan to return to Wyoming.”
“Yes,” she answered and knew that, at least for the moment, she would not waver in that decision. “I cannot stay here. There’s nothing here for me save bad memories. This place has never welcomed me. And Louise is all the family I have now. I need to be with her.”
“I understand. And I need to remain here. Not just for business reasons either. My family is here. I also intend to try to bring down the Templetons.”
“And maybe, if good fortune smiles on you, regain the family business.” She did not like the idea that he would have any contact with Eleanor, but knew he had to grasp at any chance there was to regain what he had lost.
“Exactly. I have to try.”
“I understand. Is that what you came to tell me?”
“I don’t know why I came.” He softly cursed and gave her a crooked smile. “Yes I do. I wanted to see you before you left. Hell, I wanted to do a lot more than just look at you. I guess I hoped there would be a small chance that you would want the same.”
Ella stared at him and wondered why she was not deeply insulted and furious. She decided it was because he was being painfully honest despite the discomfort it so clearly caused him. There was so much more she wanted from him, so much more she wanted him to say, but it would gain her nothing. He would still have to stay in Philadelphia and she would still have to go to Wyoming. Despite the pain she would carry with her, she knew it was the only place she could find the peace she needed. What harm could there be in gathering up a few more memories to take with her?
“That was very arrogant of you,” she murmured.
“Probably damned rude too.”
“And uncivilized. Well, if you intend to behave like a savage, you had better lock the door first.”
She almost laughed at the way he stared at her with an interesting mixture of shock and hope. He tentatively moved toward the door, watching her closely every step of the way. When she just smiled, he moved a lot faster. A cry of surprised laughter escaped her when he locked the door, nearly ran back to her side, and scooped her up into his arms.
“Which one is your bed?” he asked in a hoarse, unsteady voice as he took a step toward the two beds against the far wall.
“The one on the right.”
He placed her on the bed with more haste than gentleness and started to yank off his boots. Ella briefly wished she could savor the sight of his lean, strong body, but he was moving too fast. Infected by the fever he made no effort to hide, she tugged off her slippers and stockings and then begun to undo her gown. She found this display of raw, blind need exciting, and, when he finally flung himself into her arms, she welcomed him eagerly. Their bodies trembled from the strength of the hunger heating their blood.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Sometimes, Mahoney, you talk too damn much,” she said as she cupped his face in her hands and pulled his mouth down to hers.
Ella looked down at the man sprawled in her arms and slowly threaded her fingers through his thick hair. They had made love twice; furious, greedy love, and she was surprised to realize that she hungered for more. A quick glance at the clock on the mantel over the tiny fireplace told her that that was a need she would have to suppress. George and Louise would soon return from the theater. Both of them knew that she and Harrigan were lovers, but she did not think they needed to see it. Neither did she want any witnesses when Harrigan rose from her arms, pulled on his clothes, and walked out of her life forever.
The pain she knew she would have to deal with was already trying to claw its way through the lingering warmth of their lovemaking. She bit back the sudden urge to bare her heart to Harrigan. Even in the blind heat of their passion they had not spoken of love or a future together, only of need and of the beauty of what they shared. Speaking of love would change nothing, not even if Harrigan returned her feelings. It would only add to the pain she would feel later. What good did it do to know all she could have when she had to walk away from it?
For one brief moment, she considered staying with him if he would just ask her to, but everything within her cringed at the thought of remaining in Philadelphia. If Harrigan truly loved her, it might help, but she was certain even he could not cure her of the dread she had for the city. Philadelphia had brought her nothing but sorrow and loss. She knew it was not the fault of the place, that Harold had commited the crimes, but her pain and fear did not choose to be rational. Everywhere she looked she saw reminders of all she had lost, and of how close she had come to dying. She had to leave and she was not sure she would ever be able to return.
“Ella,” Harrigan whispered, propping himself up on his elbow, and kissing her cheek. “You’ve gone very quiet.”
“I was just realizing how late it’s become. George and Louise will return soon. I think our little interlude of self-indulgence must come to an end.”
If he had not been looking at her, Harrigan knew he would have felt as if she had just slapped him. Her words were cool, a calm invitation for him to leave, but her eyes were dark with feeling. He had a sudden urge to tell her all he felt, but he quickly sat up, busying himself with getting dressed until it could be subdued. When he turned back toward her, Ella sat in the middle of the bed wearing a prim, white cotton nightgown. She looked very young and fragile.
“I shouldn’t have come here,” he said as he stood up.
“Oh, I think it would be unwise for us to begin talking about regrets and mistakes.” She smiled sadly. “I think it’s best if we just leave this simple. We fed the passion we seem to have no control over. To call it any more than that or to try to do some heart searching will do neither of us any good.”
“You’re probably right.” He grabbed his hat and walked to the door. “Ella,” he said in a tight voice as he opened the door and looked back at her, “if you ever return to Philadelphia—”
“I know. And the same is true if you ever come out to Wyoming.”
“I hope you can find the peace you need.”
“And I pray you find the justice you need.”
Harrigan stepped out of the room and slowly shut the door after him. He stood in the hall staring at his hat and wondering why he felt so devastated. Only a door separ
ated him and Ella and yet he felt as if she was already thousands of miles away.
He looked at the door and seriously considered marching back in there and saying all the things she had said they should not speak of. There was a deep need in him to know that she felt more for him than passion, that she had truly forgiven him. He took a deep breath and fought the inclination. It would be cruel. He could offer her no future, no promises. She needed to flee the place that had brought her nothing but grief and misery, and he needed to stay. He slapped his hat on his head and walked away, wishing that following the correct path was not so painful.
Ella stared at the door until her eyes stung. She knew he would not return, but a small part of her still hoped. As the minutes ticked by, the clock on the mantel sounding unbearably loud in the silence he had left behind, she felt that tiny hope die. A shudder went through her as she collapsed onto the bed. Her body was still flushed and warm from their lovemaking, yet she was utterly alone.
She knew she was going to cry and she fought the urge even though she was certain she would lose the battle. What she wanted to be was calm, accepting, and mature. She had loved and lost. It had happened to thousands of people. It did not have to destroy her. It was not fatal. As the tears began to roll down her cheeks, she clutched at her pillow, curled up into a ball, and decided that, for a little while, she could allow herself to give in to the pain. She just prayed that she could indulge her grief and then compose herself before her aunt came home. Although she loved Louise dearly, she didn’t really want her aunt to know how big a fool she had been.
“Oh dear,” murmured Louise, stopping so abruptly that she caused George to stumble at her side.
George quickly regained his balance and unhooked his arm from hers just in case she decided to make another sudden, unexpected move. “Oh dear what?” he asked.
“That’s Harrigan shuffling toward his office, isn’t it? Just down the road on the other side?”
Looking at his friend, George grimaced as he saw Harrigan’s bent head and hunched shoulders. “Ah.”
“You do have a way with words, George. Ah is right. Damn, I had hoped he would go to see Ella, but I thought it would go better than it obviously did.”
“Perhaps she decided she could not forgive him.”
“No, she had forgiven him, although she did want to hear him apologize and explain his actions.” Louise frowned and put her hands on her slim hips as she watched Harrigan disappear into his office. “I really thought they just needed to see each other again and talk to each other a bit. I thought I’d come home to hear about a wedding. Instead I think I will need to tend to one very upset girl.”
“There is one problem I believe you did not consider. Harrigan feels he needs to stay here. This is where his business is, where he can watch the Templetons in hope of bringing them to justice, and where his family is.”
“A family he feels deeply responsible for since he blames himself for the loss of their livelihood.” Louise muttered a curse and shook her head. “And Ella must leave here. There are too many dark, painful memories here. I should have left well enough alone. I’ve probably just caused Ella more pain.”
“You could not be certain how firm they would be in their decisions.” He took one of her clutched hands in his and brushed a kiss over her knuckles. “Maybe Ella doesn’t love Harrigan, at least not as much as you thought.”
“Oh, she loves him, more than he deserves. She also desperately needs to get away from here. I was a little naive in thinking love was enough.”
“Will it be enough for you?” George asked softly.
Louise stared at him for a moment, completely forgetting her niece’s troubles. “What do you mean?”
“If I come to you in Wyoming, I will have to start all over again. I will have nothing to offer you except love and a willingness to work.”
“Which is more than enough, George.” She placed her hand on his cheek and lightly kissed him. “Are you sure you can give everything up for a woman like me?”
“Very sure.” He took a small box out of his pocket and placed it in her hand. “I had hoped to do this slowly and as romantically as I could, probably over a quiet glass of wine.” He blushed a little. “I fear it is not a ring as I could not guess what size you would wear and now I fear you may be insulted.” His eyes widened as Louise gently touched one finger to his lips.
“Hush, George, and let me look.” Louise opened the little box, saw the small silver pin inside, and started to laugh. “A train. Why, George, I never knew you had such a delightful sense of humor. Here, pin it on me, and the answer is yes.” She laughed softly when he hugged her then fumbled as he pinned the little brooch to her dress. “I will treasure it.”
“I am not sure when I can come to Wyoming,” he said quietly as he held her hand. “I have to try to help Harrigan.”
“I understand. I’ll wait.” She sighed. “I would love to share my news with Ella, but I do not think tonight would be a good time. I really believed those two belonged together.”
“Love may yet win out.”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe Harrigan has to believe he’s lost her before he realizes exactly what he wants and how badly he wants it. Perhaps, after he takes care of the Templetons, he will decide Wyoming could use his skills.”
“That would be nice.” She kissed him on the cheek. “I thought it’d be nice to spend this evening together since I might not see you again for months.” She idly smoothed her finger over her new pin, smiling briefly in spite of herself. “However, I think we each have people in sore need of a friendly voice and a strong shoulder.”
George gave her a slow, tender kiss then smiled when he saw her blush. “I will see you soon and maybe I will not be traveling to Wyoming alone.”
“Well, if that fool decides to come with you, let me know,” she said as she hurried toward the hotel.
“I suppose you plan to interfere.”
She paused in the doorway of the hotel and blew him a kiss. “Now, George, you can’t expect me to just sit back and let nature take its course.”
Laughing softly, George shook his head and strode toward his office. Louise sighed and entered the hotel. Part of her was still delighted with George’s little gift, a token of all they had promised each other. His word had been good enough for her from the beginning, but she knew she would always treasure the pin. For a while she had to put aside her own happiness, however, and try to help Ella.
The moment she stepped into the room and saw Ella’s huddled shape on the bed, Louise prayed that George would bring Harrigan to Wyoming. The pain she could hear in Ella’s sobs tore at her heart. She moved quickly to the bed and took Ella into her arms, wondering just how much more the girl could endure before she broke beneath the weight of it all.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Louise scowled as she stared out of the kitchen window at Ella, who was weeding the kitchen garden. “Two months we’ve been home and that girl still walks around sunk in gloom.”
Joshua rolled his eyes and took a sip of coffee, setting the cup back down on the well-scrubbed table with a distinct thud. “You staring at her all the time isn’t going to cure her.”
As she walked to the table, Louise paused to give Joshua a light slap on the back of the head before she sat down across from him. Joshua was always the last one to eat his morning meal and, she thought fondly as she studied his slender build, always ate the biggest meal. Knowing how often he had suffered from hunger, she enjoyed seeing him eat so heartily. He was the first one she had taken in and they were close. She could not blame him for finding her incessant fretting over Ella an irritation. She did too. Time and time again she had tried to stop herself from worrying about the girl, for she knew it did no good. But for all that, she would quickly return to it, for she could not bear to see Ella so unhappy.
“You can’t mend this wound, Louise,” Joshua said in a gentler tone of voice.
“I know.” Louise si
ghed and poured herself a cup of coffee.
“Ella’s the one who fell in love with that Irishman and she’s the one who has to stop loving him.”
“I know that too. I just begin to fear that she never will.”
“Ella’s too smart to cling to a lost cause and too strong to let it beat her.”
“So I thought, but Ella feels things very deeply. She and I have talked, but I don’t believe she’s told me half of what she’s feeling.” Louise studied Joshua for a moment as she nervously bit her bottom lip, then decided she could trust him to keep what she was about to say between them alone. “There is something else I worry about.”
“That will be a nice change.”
“Not really. It still concerns Ella. I think she may be carrying Harrigan Mahoney’s child.” She smiled at the way Joshua gaped, then grew a little nervous when his shock gave way to look of hard anger.
“You just say the word, Louise, and me and the boys will ride east, hogtie the bastard, and drag him back here to marry Ella.”
“No, you can’t do that. It wouldn’t help Ella much at all. ”
“What are you saying? She needs a father for that child. Think about what people will say about her, how they will treat her, if she has a child but no husband.”
“Probably not much worse than they treat her or me now. We’re two young, unmarried women living on a ranch with a dozen young, unwed men. It can’t come as any surprise to you that most people in town have marked us as little more than whores.” She smiled faintly when Joshua looked uncomfortable, even blushing slightly.
“I had hoped that you hadn’t heard any of that talk.”
“Joshua, there are always those women who feel it is their Christian duty to tell you what’s being said. They claim they are just trying to get you to change your ways. I’m afraid Ella and I don’t make things any easier for ourselves by responding to such nonsense with the derision it deserves.” She briefly laughed along with Joshua.
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