Five ways I reacted to the news about the move
1. “What?!” My family had lived in Brooklyn since before I was born. Mom and Dad sometimes talked about wanting a house and a big yard, but I never thought they’d actually do something about it. And now, all of a sudden, we were moving so far away?
2. Worrying. What would the other kids be like? Would anyone want to be friends with me? How would I survive without Millie? Would anyone there be as great as her? And how would life in the country be different? Would there be more bugs? What about bears?
3. Wondering.
When I overheard Mom saying, “We can’t let her think this is her fault,” what did that mean? That she really thought it was my fault that we were going to move, and she just didn’t want me to feel bad about it? Did Dad have to get a new job because of me? (I mean, wasn’t it weird that he happened to get a new job right when I blabbed to Mr. Lawrence?)
Also, I wondered what the deal was with Dad’s new job. Mom’s job is pretty flexible—she’s a graphic designer, and she can work from home. But would Dad still have work once the highway was finished? And if not, did that mean we’d get to move back to Brooklyn? When I asked about that, Dad sighed and Mom just said, “One thing at a time, Annie. One thing at a time.” So I’m still wondering.
4. Wishing I’d kept my big mouth shut with Mr. Lawrence
5. Waiting for Ted to stop hating me
Six ways Ted and I used to spend time together
1. Watching TV
2. Arguing
3. Washing dishes. This was our job every night after dinner: I washed and Ted dried. I tried to get him to take turns (I hated washing every night because my fingers got pruney and I never felt like I could get the pots clean enough), but he said he was the only one tall enough to reach the high shelves to put the glasses away, so he had to be the dryer until I got taller.
4. Building Dixie Cup towers. We’d done this since we were little. Ted would probably have been embarrassed to admit that we still spent as much time on this as we did (he knocked them down if one of his friends was coming over), but we were really good at it. We built towers that were taller than my dad.
5. Watching YouTube videos about wild animals. Some of these were really cute, like the ones with mama elephants and their babies. But one day Ted stumbled across a video of a bear attacking a guy who was making a wildlife documentary. I will spare you the details, but let’s just say I had nightmares for a month. And Ted got in big trouble for showing it to me.
6. Listening to music. When he was in a good mood, he’d ask me to listen to new music he liked, then make playlists of my favorites and put them on my iPod. So I had playlists with names like
a. Annie’s Jams (music that made me happy)
b. Annie Dances (music to dance to, obviously)
c. Settle Down, Sister (songs to listen to when I was angry)
Four reasons I suspected Ted was angry about the move
1. Even though I was going to have to go to a different school if we stayed in Brooklyn, his life would have barely changed. (He’s twelve and in middle school, and for him it didn’t matter what neighborhood we lived in.)
2. He had his heart set on applying to LaGuardia, a really famous performing arts high school in Manhattan, next year.
3. His classic-rock cover band, Ted Zeppelin (the band name was always changing, but that was the latest one), had finally booked some “gigs” for the summer.
4. He yelled, “Why couldn’t you keep your stupid mouth shut?!” when he heard the story about Mr. Lawrence and the dry cleaner.
So I guess I more than suspected Ted was angry about the move. I knew he was angry. It was pretty clear he thought it was all my fault, and I had a feeling he was right. It was because of my big mouth that we were moving.
Three things I used to be known for at school
1. Being a good writer
2. Being Millie’s best friend
3. Never getting in trouble
I realize those aren’t the most interesting things to be known for in fourth grade. It’s not like being the fastest runner or the best artist, or having an uncle who’s a movie star. So the truth is that a lot of people probably didn’t know me at all. But that has started to change.
One thing I’m now known for at school
1. Getting myself kicked out
I’m not sure how she heard, but a few days after my visit to Mr. Lawrence’s office, Hannah Krenzler came up to me at recess and said, “Is it true that you aren’t allowed to come back to school here next year?” When I told her my family was moving, she said, “I heard you got yourself kicked out.” Just then the bell rang for us to go back inside, so I didn’t have a chance to say more. But that was only the beginning.
Five rumors that started about why I had to leave school
1. I walked into Mr. Lawrence’s office and insulted his family.
2. I walked into Mr. Lawrence’s office and broke something.
3. I walked into Mr. Lawrence’s office and cursed.
4. I stole something from Mrs. Simmons.
5. I thought I was too smart for this place, and I was switching to a boarding school for quiet geniuses.
Every time I heard one of these rumors, I didn’t even know what to say. They were so crazy. So I stayed quiet, as usual. I became quieter than I ever was before. And the quieter I got, the more people seemed convinced I was hiding a big secret. The more I tried to disappear, the bigger the stories about me got.
By the end of the school year, I felt like I never wanted to see most of my classmates again. Convenient, I guess, since I was about to move far away.
The only person I knew I would truly miss was Millie.
Three things I thought Millie would say when I told her about the move
1. You can’t leave me!
2. You have to stay here!
3. If they make you leave, I will visit you every weekend!
Three things Millie actually said when I told her about the move
1. Your parents should never have lied in the first place.
2. But why did you have to spill the beans to Mr. Lawrence?
3. I can’t believe you have to move because you got kicked out of school.
Three things I said back to Millie
1. I didn’t mean to tell Mr. Lawrence; it was a stupid mistake.
2. That’s NOT why we’re moving! It’s because my dad got a new job. (I didn’t tell her I was also starting to become convinced we were moving because of me.)
3. Everybody’s parents lie about something. Yours have been telling you that you’ve had the same goldfish for years, and I can totally tell they switch it every time the old one dies!
This was kind of a bold move for me. Millie always told me how I was so “easy” (meaning agreeable, I guess), and it felt good to hear that. And I didn’t mind so much that Millie was usually the one making plans and decisions for us; she had great ideas.
Millie’s three greatest ideas
1. Second grade: crush leftover Halloween candy and sprinkle it into pancake batter (This was the morning after our first sleepover.)
2. Third grade: the Wildlife Warriors. As members of the Wildlife Warriors, we walked around Prospect Park looking for injured birds, squirrels, and chipmunks, and if we found one, we would call the Parks Department and report our discovery. We only ever found two animals in trouble (a bird that couldn’t fly and a squirrel that appeared to be limping), and the Parks Department people sounded more amused than concerned, but Wildlife Warriors was still mostly fun.
3. Fourth grade: world’s longest lanyard. After Millie learned how to make lanyards at camp, she had the idea that we’d get into the Guinness Book of World Records by
making the longest lanyard ever. (We needed to figure out if there even was a longest-lanyard record…ours was only about three feet long. We weren’t able to work on it as much as we wanted once our homework load picked up.)
Anyway, maybe it’s weird for two people who were together as much as we were, but Millie and I had never had a fight. Even if her ideas weren’t always ones I would have chosen (I got pretty tired of walking all over the park looking for hurt squirrels that didn’t exist, and my fingers had blisters on them from so much lanyarding), it didn’t seem worth it to start a disagreement. I always felt safe with her. Until now. Because after I yelled that bit about the fish, she clearly was not happy.
So now Millie was mad at me too (and not just at me, at my whole family). The list of things I felt guilty about was getting longer. Just to review:
Five things I felt guilty about at the end of fourth grade
1. Exposing my parents as liars in front of the principal
2. Sharing a family secret that got me kicked out of my elementary school with just one year left
3. Taking my brother away from a promising high school musical career, and possibly derailing his musical aspirations for the rest of his life
4. Taking my brother away from his friends and his band
5. Unintentionally devastating my best friend by revealing that her goldfish was not who she thought he was
One person who did not seem ready to forgive me anytime soon
1. Ted
I think he said about three words to me the entire summer.
One person who did seem ready to forgive me
1. Millie
The night before she was leaving for summer camp, our buzzer rang. It was Millie, holding a whole case of peanut butter crackers.
Three apologies Millie made as we snacked on peanut butter crackers in my room
1. I’m sorry I said that about your parents.
2. I’m sorry I didn’t do more to stop the crazy rumors about you at school. I tried, but they took on a life of their own.
3. I’m sorry I got so mad when you told me about the goldfish. I kind of suspected it anyway.
Two apologies I made
1. I’m sorry I said that about the goldfish.
2. I’m sorry I told Mr. Lawrence where I live. I didn’t mean to, but I know I messed up.
Millie said I didn’t have to apologize for that. She knew it was an accident.
I told her I thought we might get to move back to Brooklyn once Dad’s highway job was over. She said, “Well, then I hope they work fast up there in the boonies.”
Four promises we made to each other
1. We would always be best friends.
2. We wouldn’t let anyone else be our best friends.
3. We would make our parents let us visit each other.
4. We would write each other emails or letters all the time.
And that was it. Millie left early the next morning for camp. I wondered if saying goodbye was as weird for her as it was for me. She definitely seemed sad, but I was sad and more than a little scared. Like I said, I’d always felt safe with Millie. I don’t think I realized just how safe until I started thinking about life without her.
Mom hadn’t made any summer plans for me since we were moving, and I suddenly felt like the only kid left in Brooklyn.
Seven ways I spent the weeks before we moved
1. Making a double-wave friendship bracelet to send to Millie at camp
2. Steering clear of Ted in general
3. Watching skateboarders do tricks by the Prospect Park Bandshell (Was skateboarding popular in Clover Gap like it was here? I had no idea.)
4. Eating ice cream from my favorite ice cream place, Happy Cone, as often as I could
5. Riding my bike to Brooklyn Heights with my dad so we could go to the Promenade and try to memorize the Manhattan skyline
6. Celebrating my birthday with spicy tuna and Alaska rolls at my favorite Japanese restaurant, Ariyoshi (I was trying to get my fill since Dad told me he didn’t think there were any sushi places in our new town.)
7. To quote my mom, “moping around.” She kept saying I should call one of my friends other than Millie, but there wasn’t really anyone else I wanted to call. Sure, there were kids I was friendly with at school, but they all had their own things going on in the summer (day camps, trips to the beach, art classes—the same things I would have been doing if we weren’t about to move). And the truth was, Millie and I had always spent so much time together that there hadn’t been a lot of space for anyone else. It had never seemed like a big deal until now.
Four things I learned when I googled Clover Gap
1. Population: 8,432 (I didn’t think that sounded that small until Dad told me that the population of Brooklyn was more than 2 million, and that there were something like 50,000 people in our neighborhood alone.)
2. It prides itself on being “the Clover Capital of the Northeast.” (Who knew that was a thing?)
3. Every spring it hosts Clover Fest, and people “come from far and wide to celebrate the beautiful simplicity of the clover.” Interesting. I’d never thought of clovers as either beautiful or simple. I’d never really thought of them at all.
4. Notable wildlife: squirrels, chipmunks, foxes, groundhogs, deer, turkeys, raccoons, and (gulp) bears
AUGUST
Six things we found under the furniture the day the movers came
1. Two library books we thought we’d lost (mine)
2. Three loose drumsticks (Ted’s)
3. A Rolling Stones record album (Even though we don’t have an old-fashioned record player, Dad held on to a bunch of his old albums “for sentimental and aesthetic reasons.” So he was super excited when that one turned up.)
4. A recipe for my grandma’s soda bread (Mom’s)
5. A funny old note from Millie, asking if I wanted to sleep over at her house and warning me that her dad snores so loud she can hear it in her room across their apartment (mine)
6. The Pinballs, my lost book from Mrs. Simmons’s room. Mystery solved.
Three things the men from Clover Gap Movers said when they arrived
1. Wow, this is such a cool neighborhood!
2. It’s nothing like the boonies in Clover Gap.
3. Why would you ever want to leave the big city?
With each new question they asked, Dad looked increasingly despondent. Finally he said, “Come on, guys: Clover Gap is great too, right?” The men looked at each other for a second; then one of them turned and went to open the back of the truck. The other one shrugged and said, “It’s nothing like this place.”
Eight things I threw into my backpack before getting into the car to leave Brooklyn
1. A pen
2. My book of lists
3. A book called Homesick (Mom said she read it when she was a kid and thought I might appreciate it right about now.)
4. Three granola bars
5. Peanut butter crackers
6. A drawing pad
7. Mom’s old iPod (which I’m trying to get everyone to start calling “Annie’s iPod”)
8. The note from Millie
Four things Ted said to me during the seven-hour trip to Clover Gap
1. You’re on my side of the seat. (He said this one about ten times.)
2. Turn down your music.
3. That’s my granola bar. (It wasn’t.)
4. Wake up. We’re here.
This was more than he had said to me all summer.
Eight things I noticed about Clover Gap as we drove into town
1. Wider streets, and no cars parked on the sides
2. Way more trees than Brookl
yn
3. Also more churches
4. No sidewalks
5. Sometimes we had to slow down because we were behind a tractor.
6. Bigger yards
7. Mailboxes at the ends of the driveways
8. Bigger houses
Three thoughts I had about my new house when we pulled up in front of it
1. It’s kind of old.
Annie's Life in Lists Page 2