1. People start cooking outside a lot.
2. Flowers I never heard of before pop up everywhere (peonies, freesias, and bleeding hearts, which are little, purplish pink, and actually shaped like hearts).
3. Clover Fest (Apparently, this matters more than all the rest. In June, Clover Gap goes crazy for clovers.)
Three questions I asked Zora about Clover Fest
1. Why is it such a big deal? (Answer: It’s like the most fun time of the whole year here. Better than Halloween.)
2. What do you do there? (There are carnival rides. And a petting zoo with farm animals. And a four-leaf clover hunt. And a beauty pageant where they crown a Miss Clover and a Junior Miss Clover. And everyone makes recipes using clovers, and there’s a contest to see whose is the best.)
3. Isn’t it weird that it’s in June? I mean, since Saint Patrick’s Day is in March? (Answer, accompanied by a blank stare: What are you talking about? Saint Patrick’s Day is for shamrocks. Clovers are completely different.)
One question I asked Kate about Clover Fest
1. Is it really as awesome as Zora says it is? (Answer: Yes! Clover Fest is the best.)
Since Kate is usually more subdued than Zora, I’m starting to believe the hype.
Two things about Clover Fest I’m looking forward to
1. Rides
2. Petting zoo
Three things about Clover Fest that just sound weird
1. Clover recipes
2. Miss Clover pageant
3. Junior Miss Clover pageant
Three ways my family is being surprisingly enthusiastic about Clover Fest
1. Mom is searching the local consignment store for clover-themed clothing we can all wear. (Ted and I keep saying no thanks to that one.)
2. Ted says the band got a “sweet gig” playing after the pageant. And they have finally decided on a name for themselves: Mind the Gap. (Ted explained to the other guys that in some cities, subway doors have signs on them telling people to “mind the gap” so they won’t accidentally step into the space between the platform and the train. And since the name of our town is Clover Gap, well…The guys thought it was genius. I’ve never seen Ted look so proud.)
3. Dad is making time to experiment with clover recipes. Clover salad, clover pesto, clover cookies. It’s good to see Dad getting back in his groove in the kitchen, but still…clover cookies?
At least I’m hoping this will be an end to Mom, Ted, and me being in charge of dinners, which have been mostly a rotation of burgers: hamburgers, turkey burgers, veggie burgers…snoreburger.
Four things the kids at school are planning for Clover Fest
1. Zach’s dad is a farmer, and he’s going to loan one of his sheep to the petting zoo.
2. Zora is going on the Tilt-a-Whirl for the first time. (She said her parents put an age minimum on it after Marcus went on it and barfed when he was eight.)
3. Kate is ironing clover patches onto her favorite jeans.
4. Amelia’s cousin Hope is in the running for Junior Miss Clover, and she told Amelia she could help her get ready backstage.
Three questions I asked Mom, who grew up going to her county fair in North Carolina
1. Is it like a street fair in Brooklyn? (Answer: Not really. There’s a lot of good food like there is at street fairs. But there are also rides. It’s more like Coney Island with farm animals.)
2. Will it be like the fair in Charlotte’s Web? (Answer: I guess? My county fairs were. But apparently this one will also have lots of clovers.)
3. Am I allowed to hang out with my friends on my own, or do I have to stay with you the whole time? (Answer: You can hang out with your friends as long as you stay with them. And you have to do a check-in with me at a certain time.)
I pointed out that if I had my own cell phone, I could just text her and we wouldn’t have to arrange a check-in. She smiled and said it wasn’t a big deal; she was okay with the check-in. No big surprise there.
First five thoughts that popped into my head when I got to Clover Fest
1. I had no idea there were this many people in Clover Gap.
2. There’s a Ferris wheel, and it looks pretty high.
3. Even though there’s so much people noise—laughing, shouting to friends, babies crying—it’s almost drowned out by the carnival music.
4. The smell is as strong as the music. Depending on which way the wind blows, the fairgrounds either smell like funnel cake, candy apples, hot dogs, or pizza…or cows, sheep, and pigs. Or sometimes all those smells at the same time.
5. I see Kate and Zora!
They were waiting for me by the ticket booth. “Come on,” said Zora. “Let’s see if we can rescue Amelia from pageant land.”
Four things Mom made me promise before she let me leave with them
1. I would not leave “the group.”
2. I would not talk to strangers.
3. If I got lost or separated from the group, I would ask another mom for help.
4. I would meet her at the pageant stage in an hour.
Three things that prevented me from meeting Mom an hour later
1. Amelia throwing up on the Tilt-a-Whirl
2. Amelia’s throw-up landing on Zora and Kate
3. Me, by default, having to pinch-hit as Hope’s pageant helper
Three reasons I should have known Amelia might get sick on the Tilt-a-Whirl
1. She ate almost an entire funnel cake before we got on.
2. She started looking a little green before the ride even started.
3. As you know, I had witnessed Amelia’s sensitive puke reflex in the past.
But I gave her the benefit of the doubt this time. I knew she wanted it to be a secret. Besides, I figured no blood was involved, so maybe she was safe. I was wrong.
Four places Amelia’s funnel cake landed after it came back up
1. Amelia’s shirt
2. The seat of the Tilt-a-Whirl car
3. Zora’s shoes
4. Kate’s jeans
Somehow the vomit missed me. Zora and Kate said they were going to have to take Amelia somewhere and clean themselves up. I thought I was lucky, until Amelia said, “Annie, since you’re the only one with no sick on you, will you go tell Hope that I can’t help her get ready for the pageant?”
Two things I said to try to get out of this assignment
1. I told my mom I’d stay with you guys. (Amelia said it was okay because her mom and her aunt would be with Hope too.)
2. I have to meet my parents at seven o’clock. (Amelia’s response: That’s right when the pageant starts, so you’ll be fine.)
One way I could tell Hope had no idea who I was when I showed up backstage at the pageant
1. When I found her in the dressing room for contestants, wearing a shimmery green leotard and looking at herself in the mirror as she put on green eye makeup, she said, “Who are you?”
Four things I said to identify myself, waiting for Hope’s blank stare to go away
1. I’m Annie.
2. I’m Amelia’s friend.
3. I was at her slumber party.
4. I’m the one who spilled the perfume.
Finally that one seemed to register.
Three questions everyone had next
1. Hope: Why are you here?
2. Hope’s mom: Sorry—who are you, dear?
3. Amelia’s mom: Where’s Amelia?
Here I was torn. I figured Amelia wouldn’t care if her mom knew about her throwing up, but I was guessing she wouldn’t want Hope to know. So I said the first thing that popped into my head: “She spilled her drink on herself, and she had to get cleaned up. Zora and Kate a
re with her.” At this news Hope rolled her eyes, turned back toward the mirror, and said, “What is it with you kids and spills?”
One alarming order I was given next
1. From Hope’s mom: Well, we still need another set of hands. If it’s only you here, you’ll have to help us.
Three reasons I was the worst possible person to help Hope get ready for the pageant
1. I knew nothing about pageants.
2. I knew nothing about the things that seemed very important in pageants: Makeup. Fancy dresses. Perfect hair. Public speaking.
3. I was not exactly a fan of Hope.
Three pageant-assistant assignments I was given
1. Hold Hope’s hair in a tight bun while the moms pin clover barrettes around it. (Yes, apparently this is a three-person job.)
2. Shield Hope’s costume with a sheet while the moms spritz her face lightly with green glitter (again, three people on this task).
3. Guard Hope’s backup baton. Why did she have a backup baton, you ask? Well, in case something happened to her first baton, of course. (Hope’s act for the talent portion of the pageant was a baton-twirling routine.)
My new most embarrassing moment
1. Walking onstage in the middle of the Junior Miss Clover pageant to retrieve the backup baton, which I accidentally tossed from backstage during Hope’s performance
Two things that Amelia and Hope had apparently worked out during their pre-pageant practice
1. The steps of Hope’s baton routine, including one part where she puts down the baton, looks to the side, and does a little wave
2. An emergency signal that would let Amelia know Hope needed the backup baton
Two things Hope forgot to tell me because she was so nervous
1. The steps of the routine (the side wave part would have been particularly good to know)
2. The emergency signal
So that is why, when Hope dropped her baton, looked offstage, and waved, I was not aware that it was meant to be a “fun and whimsical” gesture (as she would later tell me). I assumed she had determined her first baton was defective and was motioning for me to toss her the new one.
Two clues that immediately told me I was not supposed to have tossed the baton
1. The horrified look on Hope’s face
2. The gasp from Hope’s mother, who was standing behind me in the wings
Hope froze as her music continued and the baton rolled merrily toward the front of the stage, coming to a stop right at the edge. And then it was my turn to be horrified, because Hope’s mother nudged me and hissed, “You have to go get it!”
Three ways it was clear I did not belong on that stage
1. I was not sporting a single clover. (My observance of the dress code included jeans and a green T-shirt.)
2. My hair was in a ponytail (and not styled, sprayed, and sparkly, like the hair of the contestants).
3. I couldn’t even hold on to a baton, much less twirl and catch it.
Four things I could see from the stage
1. My parents and Zora’s parents gaping at me from our designated meeting spot
2. Ted and Marcus and their bandmates staring, openmouthed
3. Also staring: Zach, Charlie, Charlie’s mom, and Charlie’s grandmother
4. Zora, Amelia, and Kate, cleaned up and dressed in head-to-toe Clover Fest gear
Six people who started laughing
1. Ted
2. Marcus
3. Charlie
4. Zach
5. Zora
6. Kate
Four people who were definitely NOT laughing
1. Charlie’s grandma
2. Hope
3. Hope’s mother
4. Amelia
Two things Hope’s mother hissed from backstage
1. Get off that stage! (to me)
2. Just keep going! (to Hope)
So Hope kept going. I have to give her some credit; she seemed to make it through the rest of the routine pretty smoothly (although I can’t say for sure that she didn’t make any mistakes, since I hadn’t watched her practice a hundred times like Amelia had).
And I got off the stage as fast as I could. I handed the backup baton to Hope’s mom, whispered, “I’m so sorry,” and ran out into the crowd to find my parents.
Five things people said when I got out into the audience
1. Dad: Hey, you’re famous!
2. Ted: Nice one, Annie. You literally dropped the baton.
3. Kate: That was kind of amazing.
4. Amelia: Hope’s going to kill me. And now I have to help her get ready for the evening gown competition. (She was really pale, like she might get sick again. Without saying goodbye to anyone, she bolted for the dressing room.)
5. Mom: Honey, are you okay?
Was I okay? I wasn’t so sure. Hope was a pretty awful person; I didn’t much care that I’d messed up her routine. But I knew Amelia was afraid of her, and now she was going to have to pay for my mistake.
Three pageant titles that Hope did not win
1. Junior Miss Clover
2. Most Talented
3. Miss Congeniality
One pageant title that Hope did win
1. Miss Photogenic
Amelia had told us that Hope was predicting from the beginning that she would get that one, because she claimed it went to the prettiest girl in the pageant. But I knew it wouldn’t be enough to make her forget the baton blunder.
The three scariest parts of Clover Fest
1. The Crazy Clover Roller Coaster (according to Ted and Marcus, though I had to take their word for it because I was too short to ride it)
2. The operator of the Tilt-a-Whirl, who was rumored to be an escaped convict (Mom said that was ridiculous, though she didn’t sound positive.)
3. The sight of Miss Photogenic Clover, moments after the pageant ended, lunging toward me with murder in her eyes
Four things Hope accused me of
1. Being a gigantic klutz
2. Being a moron
3. Destroying her baton routine
4. Losing her the Junior Miss Clover title
Five people who started to jump to my defense
1. Mom
2. Dad
3. Ted
4. Kate
5. Zora
One person who interrupted them and put Hope in her place
1. Me
I did. I looked big bad Hope straight in the eye and said, “I’m sorry your baton routine got messed up. But I did the best I could. And you are so terrible to people all the time that I’m pretty sure you lost the pageant all by yourself.”
Three awesome things that happened then
1. The crowd erupted into cheers.
2. My friends lifted me onto their shoulders.
3. Hope tore her Miss Photogenic sash into shreds and ran from the fairgrounds.
Just kidding. A girl can dream. It was more like this:
Three things that happened after I stood up to Hope
1. Hope stared at me for a second, then turned and left with her mom.
2. My mom gave me a quick shoulder squeeze and whispered, “Nice going, kid.”
3. Kate looped her arm through mine and asked if I was allowed to go with her and Zora for cotton candy before the band played.
Zora asked Amelia if she was going to join us, but she shook her head. “I think I’m done with Clover Fest for today,” she said, then turned and left with her mom. I couldn’t tell if she was mad at me or not. I had a feeling that as nasty as Hope had been to me, she had probably lit into Amelia even more when she’d gone
backstage. And Amelia still had to be her cousin.
When we returned to our parents and the area by the pageant stage with our cotton candy, there was still a crowd waiting to hear the band. I was glad Ted and Marcus were going to have a big audience, but I also felt a little nervous for them. Most of their practices I’d overheard had sounded pretty rusty.
Annie's Life in Lists Page 13