Life Sentences

by Tekla Dennison Miller

“Oh, honey, he tells me everythin’. Even about that little good-bye present you gave him.” She giggled again.

  Pilar perspired like a woman having a hot flash. Which present was she talking about, the key or the blow-job? “Oh yes,” Pilar sounded agitated. “I keep forgetting how close you two are.”

  Pilar picked up the fork and took a small bite of the cake. She had no appetite.

  Maryann studied her. “You’re quite good lookin’, ya know. Even more so than Chad said.”

  Did Pilar sense a slight note of jealousy in her compliment? “Thank you. ” Pilar was uncomfortable with Maryann’s unabashed ease.

  “Ya know, hon,” Maryann continued, “you look like …” She didn’t finish the statement.

  “Like?” Pilar let out a nervous laugh as she remembered pictures of the murdered students. Was Maryann recalling them as well?

  Maryann was silent. Yet, she didn’t hide her examination of Pilar, which made the moment even more awkward. “It’s unreal” she whispered as though forgetting Pilar was still there.

  “What?” Pilar asked.

  “Nothin’. Just, oh nothin’.” She waved her hand back and forth in front of her face like a fan.

  “Maybe you miss Chad so much you want me to look like him?” As unrealistic as it was, Pilar fished for a reason her appearance had temporarily overwhelmed Maryann. Or, did she also recognize the resemblance between her and Chad’s alleged victims? Even Pilar’s friend Susan was always mistaken for her sister.

  “Could be,” she said without certainty.

  The two women seemed to run out of things to say. The clinking of the fork against the plate when Pilar took another bite of cake was exaggerated by the silence. While her hair tightened into humidity-induced curls, Maryann appeared collected. She waited patiently for Pilar to talk.

  “Wanna see Chad’s childhood pictures?” Maryann broke the quiet. “I’ve kept an album, including some of his grade school drawings.”

  Maryann fetched the scrapbook before Pilar responded. As they browsed through the pages, Pilar discovered the normal little boy she had imagined. Chad’s smiling face and bright, eager eyes peered out from each frame. That shared experience with Maryann temporarily lessened the tension of the meeting for Pilar.

  When Chad reached his teen years, Pilar sensed both a moodiness and a smugness. The two women chuckled as Maryann interpreted each photo in detail. Especiallyendearing were those of Chad pouting – so typical of a teenager. Not so engaging were the many pictures of Chad hanging onto Maryann, no matter his age.

  The final pages shocked Pilar. Before her lay the entire history of the student murders. Beside every victim’s photograph or newspaper account was a handwritten notation explaining away any evidence pointing to Chad’s guilt. Next to Susan’s picture inked in red were the words, “Chad admits.”

  Maryann sat very still. She observed Pilar as though waiting for her to refute what was written there. Or, was Maryann confirming the resemblance between Pilar and the victims? Pilar flashed backed to Lorrie and her collection of victim’s pictures.

  Pilar wanted to run from the room. She wanted to hide from that likeness. She didn’t want to admit that their similar physical aspects were one reason Chad had been attracted to her.

  Maryann disrupted the momentary spell. “Y’all know Chad’s innocent.”

  “Yes,” Pilar whispered. “Yes, I do.”

  Maryann took the album from Pilar. “Some day y’all might like to have this, or a copy for you and Chad to keep as a memento.”

  Pilar looked at her watch as a way of ignoring the strange offer. She had visited with Maryann for more than two hours. “I must go. It’s a long drive and I have earlyappointments at the prison tomorrow.” Pilar stood and headed for the door. “Thanks for seeing me. And for the cake, too.” She pointed to a half-eaten portion.

  “It’s nothin’.” Maryann opened the door. “Don’t be a stranger.” She sounded like Celeste. “First meetings are always tough.” She hugged Pilar and pecked her cheek. “Plan to stay longer next time.”

  “Thank you.”

  “After all,” Maryann affirmed, “you’re goin’ to be my daughter-in-law. But, be careful who y’all deal with.”

  Dripping in sweat now, Pilar wanted to get out of there. Maryann knew too much already.

  “I know about Tommy’s offer to help Chad,” she exclaimed, almost like an afterthought.

  Pilar’s shoulders stiffened. “I’ve had no contact with Tommy, except at Hawk Haven.” Her voice revealed her anxiety. “I only know he’s one of the few people Chad trusts.”

  “Just be careful,” she warned again. Her voice blended with Lorrie’s.

  “I will.” And then added, “Happy Mother’s Day.”

  When Pilar was seated inside her car, she looked back at the Wilbanks’ home. Maryann had already disappeared inside and closed the door. Pilar quickly checked for Lorrie, half expecting her to be hidden behind a bush like an animal ready to attack. There was no sign of her. The street was engulfed in eerie silence.

  When Pilar pulled into her parking spot, she wasstartled she had driven all the way home and didn’t remember one mile. That whole day had been filled with astounding revelations. Celeste’s delightful change, for one, and her courageous decision to divorce Marcus after all those years. Yet, Celeste’s prodding troubled Pilar. What did she really know?

  Maryann Wilbanks was also a concern. Pilar was unhappy that she knew so much about Chad and her. Could Maryann jeopardize her future with Chad? A fresh idea occurred to him — could Maryann be the stalker?

  chapter fifteen

  THE PROMISE

  Dearest C

  I was frustrated once again when I got home and found that I missed your calls. My timing sure is off lately. I took my mother out for brunch. After that I went to Center Line to meet your mother as I told you I would. She reminds me so much of you.

  I didn’t meet Amy. By the time I got there, she had left with her boyfriend.

  Chad probably didn’t know about Amy’s pregnancy and marriage plans. She doubted he’d take the news well.

  Your mother is just as you said. She’s beautiful and younger looking than her actual age and totally at ease with strangers, if I qualify as a real stranger.

  What had Chad really told Maryann? How much did she know?

  I told her the flowers I brought were from you since you couldn’t send any from prison.

  She showed me the card you sent. You are so thoughtful and a good son. She misses you terribly. I miss you, too.

  After seeing my mother today, I’m not so worried about her any more. Remember how I was concerned about her loneliness and need to be with me to fill her time? Well, she’s turning a new leaf. She’s divorcing my father and getting on with her life. Can you believe that? My mother? She mentioned travel. She even wants to visit us in Africa if we end up there. She did try to pry out of me anything about my friends and dates. It’s difficult not to blurt out everything. I must be patient though. I need to be sure she can handle our relationship and the chances we are taking. In time I believe she will understand.

  If Pilar told Chad about seeing Lorrie he’d freak out, particularly if he knew that she had confided in Lorrie. Celeste was right that Pilar needed a close friend to share with. All women needed someone to talk to.

  I’ve been reading several articles about criminal justice reform. I’ll send you copies. They are very interesting and speak to how I feel about the void that faces the convicted.

  I hope to talk to you soon. You are still my one and only. Please never feel as though I want to be with someone else. I do have a choice in partners, and I chose you. You have touched my soul and heart. I long for the day when you are here to touch my body. It is already spring. Soon it will be summer, and I am sure you will be free.

  Yours always

  CJ

  PS I’ve enclosed a $3000 money order for your account. This should keep you for a while.

  The han
dwritten letter rather than the usual typed one was more intimate. That, coupled with the money, should guarantee Chad’s trust in Pilar. He couldn’t doubt her love after that.

  Pilar fetched the Sunday Free Press from the table and settled into her favorite arm chair, ready for a quiet evening of reading. She immediately focused on pictures of Jane and Tommy. They stared from the front page as thoughaccusing Pilar for their plight.

  The article stated that the police had traced them to Florida where Tommy’s father lived. And then perhaps to Colorado, where a male backpacker was killed in the Weminuche Wilderness. The article revealed that after the story ran with the murdered man’s picture in the Denver Post and the Durango Herald, a witness came forward. He reported he saw the victim at a gas station. The witness said he had overheard him asking for a ride from a white man traveling with an African-American woman in an out-of-state car. The witness further reported that the victim was carrying hiking gear while the other two were not. The police believe an abandoned car found near the trail head in the area where the body was discovered had been rented by Tommy Johnson. No other details were given as to why the police linked Tommy to the murder.

  Pilar placed the newspaper in her lap. “Now what?” None of her research or the contacts that Chad gave her had produced an attorney willing to take his case on. Instead, she had been left with no alternative but to give into Jane’s offer to help Chad get out of prison she had made the week Pilar left Marquette. Pilar looked out the window into the dark. “Will this ever be over?”

  There was still Plan B. She had been smart to have the infirmary window key duplicated for Chad. Pilar’s devious behavior surprised even her. She and Chad had to plan a strategy without the authorities discovering what they wereup to. That was tricky, but possible. They would need an escape route into the Canadian wilderness, new identifications, passports, and tickets to somewhere in Africa.

  Pilar rummaged through the notes she had about people Chad met in prison who could get all the phony ID needed, for a handsome price no doubt. Never mind. Money didn’t matter. She started a “to-do” list.

  THE TELEPHONE’S RING AWAKENED Pilar. She snatched her clock. It was three in the morning. Who could be calling at that hour? Maybe it was an emergency at the prison. It wouldn’t be the first time she had to go into work at a strange hour.

  “Hello, Doctor Brookstone here.” Pilar yawned.

  “You need to be more watchful, Pilar,” the male caller warned. “I know where you were today.”

  Pilar bolted upright and shouted, “Who is this?”

  “You know what they’re saying about you at Scott? You’re bringing in drugs to those women.”

  “What’s the matter with you? Who is this?” She was shrieking now.

  The line went dead.

  MONDAY MORNING AT THE prison was quiet. The gate officer hardly patted Pilar down. But she was more than thorough with Pilar’s attache. Was she looking for drugs? Perhaps she was part of the scheme to make Pilar appearshady. Pilar watched the less-than-precise rifling through her belongings. What kind of negative signals had she given at Scott? The drug rumor was someone’s way to force her out. It had to be the same person who was after her at Hawk Haven. But, how would they know Pilar’s daily routine? Damn. She wanted this whole thing over. Chad must get prepared, pronto.

  The officer handed the attache to Pilar. It was in total disarray. “Have a nice day.” She sounded sarcastic.

  “Thanks,” Pilar snatched the case. The quick motion forced the officer to stand back. “I’m glad we can’t take purses inside. After how this looks,” Pilar lifted the attache near the officer’s face, “I couldn’t imagine how my bag would be returned.”

  The officer smirked. “Gate two,” she shouted. She clearly enjoyed her brief moment of power.

  Pilar gladly left the gated confines without another word, though she searched every face she passed looking for a clue that might identify the caller.

  ONLY A FEW MINUTES after she settled in her office, an infirmary guard interrupted her. “Doctor Brookstone?”

  “Yes.”

  “The warden wants to see you.”

  “What? Why didn’t she call me?” Pilar sounded irritated. Why hadn’t the warden requested an appointment directly?

  “Don’t know. She just called, and …”

  “Okay, okay.” Pilar motioned the officer out. “I’m on my way.”

  Sharon Cooper’s secretary told Pilar to go right into the warden’s office. Pilar knocked before she entered.

  The warden looked up from a file. “Close the door,” she ordered, “and sit down.”

  Cooper stayed seated behind her desk. Pilar noticed that the suit she wore was similar to the warden’s others. They showed little imagination, like a uniform. Silly observation at a time like that, but one that could be useful for Pilar. The warden was unwilling to change.

  Pilar recalled the many meetings she had with Whitefeather. Would this one be the same? “What can I do for you, Warden Cooper?” If the warden’s lips were squeezed more tightly together there would be nothing but a thin red line marking her mouth.

  “I won’t beat around the bush. Remember our recent conversation about rumors I’ve heard about you?”

  “Yes.” Pilar couldn’t keep from frowning.

  “Well, they’re getting worse. I’m not only getting letters,” the warden fluttered sheets of paper she retrieved from a pile on her desk, “but phone calls saying you are bringing in drugs.”

  “I know.” Pilar was resigned to the accusations.

  “You know?”

  “Yes. I’ve been getting the same letters and phonecalls,” Pilar related in the same matter-of-fact way she handled Officer Leonard. “Makes you wonder how truthful they are, doesn’t it?” Pilar crossed her legs and folded her hands in her lap, surprised they weren’t shaking.

  The warden tapped a pencil against her desk. “I just want you to know that I have no choice but to keep you under surveillance in order to prove you are not doing anything against policy.”

  Pilar’s back tensed as though a steel rod had been wedged down her spine. “Surveillance?” she asked. “Are you going to have me tailed?” Pilar stood. “How about a stakeout team at my apartment? This is absurd.”

  “It’s for your protection as well as my satisfaction.” The warden stood, too, and headed for the exit. She opened the door in her usual way, signaling that their conversation was over. “I just want to give you a fair warning.”

  Pilar moved within inches of her; their nose almost touched. “You could have trusted me instead.”

  Warden Cooper closed the door so quickly it brushed Pilar’s back. Her secretary smirked. Pilar wanted to give her the finger and yell, “Fuck you, bitch.” Instead, she smiled sweetly. The secretary looked away.

  AFTER WORK PILAR ENTERED her dark apartment. She immediately focused on the phone’s blinking message indicator. Could she have missed yet another call from Chad? She pushed the button before taking off her jacket. “Pilar, it’s Jane,” the harried voice announced. “I’ll call tonight around eight. Be there.” Pilar’s throat tensed as though something was wrapped too tightly around it.

  The next message was from Celeste. “Things are moving faster than I had thought. The divorce papers should be served on your father in a couple of weeks.” She sounded cheerful. “I’ve put a down payment on a two-bedroom penthouse unit at Nine-Mile Condominiums,” she chattered on. “Can’t wait for you to see it. Quite posh and liveable. Oh, by the way, did you see that article in the paper about the escapee and that nurse? That isn’t the same Nurse Jane, is it? The friend you told me about? Talk to you later.”

  If Pilar hadn’t known better, she would have believed her mother heard Jane’s call. Pilar erased Celeste’s message. How much did she know? Could Whitefeather have called her? Pilar was getting more unraveled by the minute. How much longer could she go on living like that?

  Pilar punched the key to retrieve the last me
ssage. “Remember I’m watching you so don’t do anything foolish,” the voice from the night before cautioned. She rushed to the window as though he was outside observing her with binoculars. All she saw was an empty yard and the moon rising.

  Everything was closing in. Pilar could hardly breathe, as if she were at the top of Mt. Everest without an oxygen tank. She poured a glass of wine and sat on the deckwrapped in Lucinda and Jodie’s afghan and waited for the eight o’clock call.

  Though she expected the ring, she jumped when the phone sounded. When Pilar answered on the second ring, she heard Tommy’s voice rather than Jane’s. “We need to talk. You’re fully aware Jane and I know all about you and Chad. If we’re caught and you won’t cooperate, we’ll squeal.”

  “What are you saying?” She was unhappy about where the conversation was headed. “I thought you told Chad you wanted to help me get an attorney.”

  “I do, but it will take a lot of money.”

  “Money’s no problem.” Shit. Pilar slapped the table. She shouldn’t have been so eager.

  “Money isn’t the only problem. You probably know from the paper the cops are on our tails. So we need to be extra careful.”

  Pilar didn’t know what to say.

  “We need money for our efforts in this, too.” Tommy’s demand sounded threatening.

  “I’m prepared to compensate you, Tommy, but we have to act fast. Someone is trying to get me in trouble — if not kill me.”

  Tommy laughed, “Aren’t you being a little dramatic?”

  “Maybe so.” Pilar paced in front of the deck door and searched the area for the person watching her. Was it Tommy? He had her unlisted telephone number. Had Chad given it to him? “I still want to get this over so Chadand I can get on with our lives. And so can you and Jane.” There was no movement outside.

  “Don’t you worry about us. You just do as you’re told and your lover will be out of prison.” Tommy’s tone was sarcastic rather than sympathetic. Pilar imagined he curled his lip back like a snarling dog.