by Chloe Walsh
I let out a sigh and walked over to the light switch. Flicking it off, I shrugged my towel off and felt around for the dresser where I kept my underwear while I mentally cursed myself for not bringing my clothes into the bathroom with me.
The light flicked back on and I tensed. Kyle stood in front of me with a pained look in his eyes. I moved to turn it off, but he captured my hand. Without a word, he dropped to his knees, placed his hands on my hips and started kissing my stomach. "Don't," I begged, closing my eyes.
"Beautiful," he murmured as his lips traced the thick scar on my left side that curved around to my back–the scar from my kidney surgery. I had an identical scar on my right side. Kyle turned me around and continued to place kisses across my back. His fingers trailed over my rough uneven skin. His tongue caressed my damaged flesh. I whimpered and opened my eyes. He pulled back and lifted his face. "You are so fucking beautiful, Lee Bennett," he husked as he looked me square in the eyes. "How the hell did I get so lucky?"
"Kyle, I…" I choked out. I wasn't sure how I felt about this. I didn't know if this was an act of pity or love. I knew it wasn't an act of desire because he couldn't…he just couldn't find this desirable. My body trembled.
"Do you love me, princess?" he asked as his lips touched on the bullet wound in the center of my belly and then the one below it that represented my bowel surgery.
"You know I love you," I breathed. His mouth slipped lower to the scar over my bikini line–the one from my ectopic pregnancy–and I felt him suck in a breath.
"Sometimes I wonder how you can," he whispered stroking his nose against my skin. "I don't understand how you can love me when I caused this. I caused you all of this…pain."
"No," I said shaking my head. My heart was hammering in my chest as if it was trying to burst its way through my ribcage to claim him. I'd given him my heart and every morning I woke I thanked Jesus for giving me another day on this earth and prayed to him–begged him– not to burst our bubble. I prayed Kyle wouldn't hurt me again. I knew he was a different man to the one I first met. He was older, more open and a hell of a lot less secretive. But loving Kyle Carter was like throwing my heart into a boxing ring and trusting that every punch, every blow I was dealt wouldn't kill me. That he would save me…that he could somehow build me back up. It was exhausting. It was exhilarating.
"You did not do this," I whispered as I stroked his cheekbones with my thumbs.
"But I caused it," he replied looking directly into my soul with those blue eyes. "There won't be any more." He ran the palms of his hands over my stomach. "Not one single scratch. I promise."
"We're going to be okay, aren't we?" I asked as I stroked his hair. When I felt vulnerable I depended on his strength. I drew courage from his assurance.
Kyle smirked. "You can bet your ass we're gonna be okay, princess." Climbing to his feet, he cupped the back of my neck and leaned down to press his forehead to mine. "We'll be better than okay. I made you a promise and I plan on keeping it."
****
Kyle
"I wish I was as strong as you," Lee whispered as her small hands clung to my arms. "You have so much faith in us. So much confidence."
"I'm gonna marry you, princess," I told her. "It's a done deal. My confidence comes from seeing you wear my ring on that finger of yours." I didn't want to tell her that I was scared shitless she'd wake up some morning and realize I was more trouble than I was worth. I'd rocked her world and not the good way. And the worst damn thing was I couldn't even attempt to rock her world the good fucking way because I was terrified I would break her. Jesus Christ, there were no words to express how badly I wanted her right now, but her body needed time to recover. She had surgery on her goddamn organs. I didn't want to…poke anything.
Whatever Lee saw when she looked at herself wasn't the same as what I saw. When I saw those marks on her skin I saw life and felt relief. She was here. Alive and breathing.
Every scar, blemish and wound on her beautiful body was a mark of survival. She was a survivor and I'd lay down my heart and soul for her. And those silvery lines on her sides and lower belly made me want to beat my fucking fists off my chest. She was my woman. She'd grown my child inside of her body. I fucking loved looking at those silver lines. Those were the only marks a man was supposed to put on his woman's body.
I had a hell of high pain threshold to be able to put myself through the torture of kneeling in front of this naked woman and not take it any further. I knew it was bothering her that I hadn't touched her since she'd come home, but she had to know I wanted her. How the hell could I not? Her body was insane. Lee had the tiniest little waist I'd ever seen, that spanned out into these beautiful deep curves. The wide set of her hips alone set my pulse racing and had my dick hardening. Her body was a dream.
"I can't wait to marry you," she admitted with a sigh. "I just hate what they're saying about me. It makes what we have seem…dirty. Fake." I knew what she meant and it made my blood boil. I wanted to personally kick the ass of anyone who believed the stories suggesting Lee was with me for my money. She'd spent the majority of her pregnancy proving she didn't need my money–or me. Their smart comments were the reason she kept putting off getting married. I was far from stupid. I knew the gold-digger references were exactly what was bothering her. I was leaving her alone about it because the girl was vulnerable as hell at the moment, but one of these days she was going to have to toughen her skin to other people's opinions. If she didn't we'd never make it up the aisle. I loved her. I loved her so fucking much that it was almost painful. Nothing anyone could ever say or do could change that. She was mine, finally with me, and I was never letting go.
"Don't listen to one word of that bullshit," I growled as I flicked off the light and guided her over to our bed. Switching on the lamp on her bedside table, I stared down at her lost little expression. Jesus, the girl had the loneliest eyes I'd ever looked into…"I don't. The way I see it we both know the truth. Do you think I like it when they write shit about me hurting you? Hell fucking no. But I don't let it get to me because we know the truth. Lee, all of this crap we're going through, it won't break us. The trial, the shit they're saying about us…we're gonna get through it."
"I know we will," she whispered as she leaned on her tip-toes and kissed my lips. "And you should probably know that I'm going to love you forever."
I smirked as my heart decided to do somersaults inside of my body. "Then I should tell you that I wouldn't have it any other way."
Pulling back the covers I watched as she reached for my shirt on the floor. "Don't even think about it," I warned as I slipped off my boxers. "No more cover-ups, baby. You're mine. I want to see you. I want to fucking hold you in my arms without any barriers."
She shook a little but nodded and climbed into bed. Climbing in behind her, I drew her to me and kissed her shoulder before flicking off the lamp. "Don't ever think I don't want you," I told her as I pressed my erection against her peachy little ass.
She squirmed against me and twisted her head so she could see me. The moonlight was shining through the crack in the curtains and I could tell she was blushing. "Then why haven't you…"
"Why haven't I touched you?" I finished her question for her. "Why haven't I fucked that tight little pussy of yours?"
"Yeah," she breathed. "If it's not because of the scars then what is it?"
I groaned and wished to god I hadn't thought about Lee's pussy. That's all could think of now. She nudged herself against me. Shit… "Because you're not ready for me. You're gonna need every ounce of your strength, princess." I smirked when I heard her breathing hitch. "Because I've been without you for too long. And the next time I'm inside you it's gonna be hard, rough and all fucking night long. Now close your eyes and go to sleep before I cave in and we both end up in the ER."
"God," she muttered as she turned her body to face me. "You can't say things like that and expect me to just go to sleep."
"Lee," I warned when I felt her small fing
ers brush against the trail of hair under my navel. "Behave."
"We could do other things," she whispered as her hand moved lower until she had my dick in her hand. "You're hard," she purred.
"No shit," I groaned as I closed my eyes and flexed into her touch. "Stop. Please…" Control…Have some self-control, dumbass…
"Do you want me to put it in my mouth, Kyle?" she whispered. "We've never done that before…"
Fuck me.
Jesus Fucking Christ.
"Is that a serious question?" I moaned as her hand stroked the length of my shaft. My back arched off the bed when I felt her mouth close around the head of my dick. "I'm trying to be good, Lee…no sex until you're better." Her hands cupped my balls and I dropped my hand down to fist her hair. My legs were shaking as she took me to the back of her throat. I didn't have a whole pile of self-control and, after more than three months of being without her, she was pushing me to my limit. "You're…breaking my rules, baby."
"I'm not breaking your rules," she purred as her tongue lapped around the tip. "You're inside my mouth instead." I felt her slide her legs over mine. Sitting on my knees, she started sucking me as she grinded her wet pussy against my legs. "Is this okay?" she asked in an unsure tone of voice. "Am I doing it right?"
"Are you doing it…what?" I shook my head and groaned as she took me to the back of her throat. "Yeah, Jesus…shit." I thrust myself upwards as my fingers tightened in her hair. "You're perfect."
She did something–something fucking amazing–with her tongue and I was sunk. "You're a dangerous woman," I growled unable to take this fucking torture a second longer. Raising my knees, I grabbed her under her arms and pulled her towards me. Rolling her onto her back, I pushed her legs apart and settled between them.
"What are you doing?" she asked wide eyed and breathless as she rested her hands on my chest.
"I warned you." I palmed my shaft and rubbed it against her wet folds. Releasing myself, I bent over the side of the bed and grabbed my wallet out of my jeans and pulled out a condom.
"Don't worry," she whispered quietly as I knelt between her legs with my junk in my hands. Rolling the condom on, I rested on my elbows as I hovered above her. "About what, baby?" I asked as I slid inside her. Oh sweet Jesus… The heat, the sensation of her clenching around me nearly set me off.
"Oh…" she moaned clutching my shoulders as I moved inside her. "One tube…I won't get…pregnant again," she breathed as she rocked her hips up to meet my thrust. I stopped moving. I stopped fucking breathing. I'd only put one on because I thought that's what she wanted, not because I was worried about getting her pregnant.
"I'm not worried," I whispered as I bent down and claimed her lips with mine before pushing inside her again. "I'm not worried at all."
****
I felt her body relax as her breathing slowed. When I was sure she was asleep I lay on my back and waited. It wouldn't be long before the screaming started.
Her nightmares were the reason I didn't dare close my eyes. She needed me and I was never going to let her down again.
****
Chapter 5
Unwanted parents
Lee
"It's Tracy." Kyle stood in the doorway of our hotel bedroom, with his shirt half unbuttoned and his phone pressed to his chest. "She wants to talk to you."
Here we go again…
Resting Hope on my knee, I continued brushing her wild curls with a soft bristle baby hairbrush I had bought in the infants section of a baby boutique in town. She wriggled on my lap, not one bit happy about being groomed. I knew how she felt, but I also knew how tangled curls like hers could get. "You're getting so big, sweetie."
Hope was a sturdy baby and I felt every ounce of her in my arms. I swear my womb fluttered every time she looked at me with those big beautiful blue eyes. She was so cute and chubby. A feminine version of her father–minus the chubbiness. No one could accuse Kyle of being chubby. He was built like one of those swimsuit models–albeit the dirty, wild untamed kind.
I focused my attention on Hope, while I prayed that Kyle would take the hint and back off. I wasn't going to speak to her. I had hoped that we'd put this conversation to bed the other night. I most certainly had. I was nowhere near ready to talk to that woman. Kyle needed to drop it...
"Lee, she's still on the line," he said holding the phone out towards me.
Ignoring Kyle, I stood up carefully and carried Hope out of the room. "Come on, let's get you some breakfast," I murmured quietly as we stepped into the corridor.
"Where are you going?" he demanded.
"Breakfast." I had to move away from Kyle and his phone call. My temper was rising which was funny because before I moved to the hill I would have never considered myself an angry person. I had a darkness inside of me I didn't have when I was eighteen. I was actually surprised he let me pass without a fight. I usually wasn't allowed the leave the suite until Kyle did a sweep of the hotel for 'reporters.'
Thankfully, they seemed to be growing bored of us. I hadn't been ambushed in a couple of weeks. Hopefully Kyle would start relinquishing some control now that they were creeping back under the woodwork. I prayed he would because I was smothering in that room…
My back was really hurting this morning. It felt like I was being stabbed with a thousand tiny needles directly into my spine. It was a side effect of my screwed up body. Bullets, spinal cords and kidneys did not mix well…
The elevator was out of order and carrying Hope down the stairs exhausted me. The doctors said that it would get much easier but it would take time.
I had time.
Thanks to Cam, I had a whole life worth of time ahead of me. I planned on visiting her later if I could get away from the very angry CEO who was following me down the hotel stairway.
"Yeah, I know. Look I have to go. Okay, you too," I heard Kyle mumble then felt his hand slip around my elbow, halting me mid-step.
I didn't bother saying anything when he took Hope from me and carried her down the rest of the steps with her polka dot changing bag hanging from his shoulder. There was little point. I knew he had my best interests at heart. Well, my best interests physically.
*****
Kyle
"You're doing the wrong thing, princess," I said quietly as I sat Hope into her highchair at our table. I sat opposite her and watched as she fiddled with the cutlery in front of her, obviously ignoring me. Thankfully the restaurant was practically deserted this morning. From the look on Lee's face, I guessed I was talking my way into a storm.
I'd been trying my best not to hassle her about her mom, but when the woman started sobbing down the phone, begging me to get her daughter to meet her, my heart fucking squeezed in my chest. I was not good with criers. Especially the female kind with their crazy hormones. The only woman in my life whose tears I could handle was my daughter. Those tears I could fix with a cuddle, a bottle or a clean diaper. When Lee cried I morphed into a wild animal. Her tears brought out the beast in me and I wanted to tear whoever had upset her apart. Unfortunately, that person was usually me…
Lee waited until Theresa, our waitress, left after placing two mugs and a pot of coffee on our table before she spoke. "I love you, Kyle," she said in tight voice. "But if you keep pushing me on this you're not going to like what I have to say." She picked up the pot of coffee and filled both mugs. "You promised you would let this go." Actually, I'd promised no such thing…
I leaned my elbows on the table and watched as he prepared our coffee. She was wearing one of my black t-shirts over her jeans and it swamped her tiny body. It was loose enough to camouflage every amazing curve I knew was hidden underneath it. She tucked then re-tucked her hair behind her ears–a sure sign she was anxious.
"You haven't given her a chance to explain," I said as I wrapped my fingers around her wrist and pried her hand away from her hair. Her hands were shaking, but I didn't comment on that fact. Lee had a continuous tremor since she woke up from her surgery. And those tremors wor
sened every day that grew closer to the trial.
"Don't lecture me on parents," Lee warned as she swung her face up to glare at me. Her gray eyes narrowed challengingly. I narrowed mine accepting her challenge. "If you want to go around fixing families like Jerry freaking Springer then maybe you should start with your own. You're hardly an expert on the matter." She was lashing out, trying to hurt me so I would back off. Well, if she wanted a fight she'd get one.
Lee had been as alive as a house plant for too long. She needed to get her claws back and if fighting with me brought her back to life then I'd fight all fucking day. I had no pressing engagements and my skin was tough.
"No, I'm not an expert," I said deadpan. "My mother's dead and my father denied me. I was dumped into a home when I was three. So you're right, princess, I don't have a clue what it feels like to have a living relative who would risk their life to save mine." Regret flickered in Lee's eyes and I felt like an asshole for making her feel guilty, but she needed to hear this. "You have a chance at having a mom. A real, honest to god decent parent, but you're judging her when you don't know the whole story."
"She had a choice, Kyle." Lee snapped, pulling her hand away from mine. "I didn't."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked as I tore the lid off a yoghurt and started to feed Hope. "What the fuck kind of choice did she have when her husband put his hands on her? What choice did you have when your father beat you? Baby, that man is a tyrant. You think she chose to be beaten?"
"I meant that she chose my father. She chose to date him, to marry him, to have a child with him." She balled her hands into fists and I knew she was forcing herself not to cry. "Where were my choices, Kyle?"
"It's not that simple, Lee," I sighed as I plopped another spoon of yoghurt into Hope's waiting mouth. "You haven't heard her side of things. If you talked to her you'd see things clearer. Baby, I know you're hurt, but right now you're being very judgmental."