by Bonnie Lamer
All my attention focusing on Tana, I say, “You could learn to forgive him as well.”
Bitterness falls from her lips in the form of words. “It is too late for that.”
“Why?” I demand.
“Because even if I did, how could anyone love what I’ve become?”
Okay, she does have a point. I know I for one would have to love her from afar. I’d be too afraid of getting some of that green oozing stuff on me to do anything radical like hugging her. I imagine Dagda would feel the same way about making love to her. And now I’m completely grossed out that I thought about Dagda having sex.
“Are you stuck like this forever?” I blurt out. Definitely not the right thing to say at the moment.
Tana’s shoulders sag and her body seems to close in on itself. “I sacrificed myself for the magic I chose to use.”
“Chose to use? Are you sure you weren’t coerced into it by Hades because he had his own agenda?” Namely, to get to my and Dagda’s souls.
She shakes her head. “I offered myself to him of my own free will.”
Sure she did. He took advantage of a broken soul and used it for his own selfish needs. I also bet he has the power to make her look like she once did. Maybe not permanently, but long enough for her to be his mistress six months out of the year. “I have a hard time believing he was innocent in all this. After all, you would not have had the power alone to convince me to say the spell. He wanted that to happen and he used you to do it. I bet it wasn’t your idea to make me a familiar, either.”
Taz has found me and has been napping on the terrace while Tana and I talk. I think he intentionally stayed away when I went to Alita. He knew his presence would cause her more pain. He’s a considerate little guy sometimes. I think I’m going to like having him around. He’ll just have to make himself scarce whenever Alita’s here. Providing I get to keep him after all this.
Tana shrugs. “I honestly do not know what power came from him and what came from the magic I chose to perform.”
The longer we talk, the more her body relaxes. I believe her that she didn’t know how much Hades was controlling her. She is no longer the disturbed Fairy who tried to keep me locked in my own head. She has become a sniveling mess of a Fairy whose heart is broken. I like her better this way. Providing she keeps trying to become herself again.
“Aunt,” Kallen says, moving from the shadows. “You are not who Hades forced you to be. You are still the kind, beautiful Fairy who cared for me like a mother.”
He’s pushing it using the adjective beautiful. I’ll assume he means she’s beautiful on the inside. “We can help you,” I say quietly. “If you want to be the woman again.” My mind is blank on the subject, but I bet Tabitha and Isla would have some ideas.
Tana shakes her head slowly. “I am not whole. I have become a shell that can only hold hate and revenge.”
“Oh please,” I say with all the sympathy of a toad. “No one is beyond redemption.”
Her empty eyes meet mine. “There is no love left inside of me. I look at Dagda,” she stares at him sitting in the sand where he has been since I pulled her magic from him, “and Kallen and I feel nothing but vague memories of what I once felt. I truly am beyond redemption.”
How can I make her stop being such a pessimist? This whole saving her thing won’t work if she isn’t even going to try. There has to be something I can do.
Or maybe not. Maybe I need someone else to do it. With that thought, I disappear from their sight.
Chapter 29
It has become easier to put myself into Angel time. I only have to try once and I am in the courtyard where the Angels hang out when they have down time. Now, I just have to find the one I seek.
As if on cue, a soft voice from behind me says, “My lovely granddaughter, have you come for me?”
From her voice, I can tell she knows exactly why I am here. But I’ll say it anyway. Turning around, I say, “Yes, I need your help.”
A beautiful smile forms on her lips. “I will do anything I can to help you.”
“You may not want to promise me that, I get into some pretty compromising situations,” I say but she only laughs.
“A chance I am willing to take,” she says.
“I need you to show someone that she still has love in her heart.”
The Angel Lailah’s brows rise. “You seemed quite capable of such a thing earlier. Are you certain you need my help?”
I nod. “Oh yeah. I did a little bit of love magic earlier, but this is going to take a lot more oomph than I have.”
My grandmother laughs. It’s so hard to imagine her as my grandmother now when she looks almost as young as I do. “Then I am pleased to help.”
Biting my bottom lip, I have to ask. “Will you get in trouble with Tabbris for this?” I don’t want her to lose her wings.
Grandmother shakes her head. “No, if this is what the Fairy desires, it is fine for me to, let us say, hurry the process along.”
I grin. “It sounds like I got my walking on the edge of the rules from you.”
Pulling me into her arms for a hug, she says, “You have so much more. Your ability to love is one of the most impressive things about you.”
I’m not a hundred percent convinced because my ability to exact revenge seems to be about as strong as my ability to love. I’ll clamp my mouth closed on those words, though. “Can you come now?” I ask.
Grandmother steps back and takes my hand in hers. “You must discuss this with the Fairy. If she consents, I will come to her. I must warn you, however. Freeing the love that has hidden itself deep within her heart will not be a miraculous cure. She will still feel the pain of betrayal and only time and hard work can help her move past that. She will not be running into the arms of the one who was once her beloved. Unlike freeing her love, regaining her trust cannot be hurried.”
That makes sense. “Understood,” I say with a nod.
With her beautiful smile in place again, she says, “Now, go and obtain the permission of the Fairy you wish to help. As soon as you do, I will come.”
I am not sure if I brought myself back or if Grandma did, but I am once again standing in the sand under the crescent moon of the Fairy realm. To the others here, it seems as if I’ve never left. Angel time is funny like that.
“Tana,” I say gently. “If you can be made to feel love again, would you want to?”
Her surprised eyes look a little less hollow than they did a moment ago. “How would that be possible?”
I shrug. “Let’s just say I have really good connections.”
Doubt has taken root on her face. “Even you do not have that kind of power.”
“Oh, you’d be surprised. So, what do you say?”
With a shake of her head, Tana says, “If only that were possible.”
“Then your answer is yes?” I ask. I’m pretty sure Grandma has to hear a clear yes before she can do anything.
After a long moment, Tana whispers, “Yes.”
Then she falls unconscious to the sand. Looking around, I see that Kallen and Dagda have done the same. Even Taz’s breathing has become quieter, he’s no longer snoring. He’s out cold. Grandma’s coming.
The bright, white light announcing her presence can probably be seen for miles around on such a dark, clear night. That’s okay. Only those in her immediate presence would be blinded by it. The light dims only slightly when my grandmother appears.
Kneeling in the sand, she lays her hand on Tana’s chest. “Such pain,” she says sadly. “So much pain.”
“Can she be healed?” I ask.
Grandma nods. “With time, her heart will be light again.”
That’s good to hear. “What about her appearance?” I had to ask. She’s just so gruesome.
Grandma gives me a smile. “With time,” she says. “As she lets go of the darkness within her.” I think she may be laughing at me with her eyes.
Focusing her attention on Tana, she closes her eyes and lig
ht flows from her hand into Tana’s chest. Soon, Tana’s body is glowing as it rises several inches from the ground. Before my eyes, some of the damage to her skin begins to repair itself. Her scalp sores are no longer oozing and her face loses some of the lines that made her look many years older than her true age.
After several minutes, Grandma looks up at me. “It is done,” she says. “Her heart is capable of loving again. But remember, there is still sorrow. She will not wake from this as the same Fairy she once was. She will have to walk a new path if she has any hope of being happy.”
“I’ll help her,” I hear myself saying. How, I have no idea. I have Witches to check on. But, I know she’ll be in good hands while I’m gone. “I know Tabitha and Isla will help her as well.”
“Yes, you all will,” Grandmother says as if she heard the tiny bit of doubt in my voice. Standing, she comes to me and pulls me into a quick embrace. “I already miss you,” she says. “I will be watching over you.”
“Okay, thanks.” My cheeks are pinking as I find myself thinking about some very private moments that I don’t want her watching.
She laughs. “I will be discreet,” she says, reading my mind. I smile in relief. With a soft chuckle, Grandma goes back to Angel time.
Chapter 30
This has been the longest day in the history of the universe. It’s the middle of the night now, so I guess, technically, it’s another day, but my tired body doesn’t care. I want to crawl into bed with Kallen so badly, I could cry. I’m physically and emotionally exhausted. I want his arms wrapped tightly around me and I want to revel in him. But, I’m not finished here yet.
As Tana comes awake, she already seems to have a lighter heart. Her eyes are no longer hollow and their green color has returned. Even in the dark, I can tell her skin has more color as well. She’s still bald with now non-seeping scabs, but baby steps, right?
Kneeling next to her, I ask, “How do you feel?”
It takes her a few heart beats to respond. “I am…overwhelmed.”
I nod. “That seems about right. I imagine you’re feeling things you haven’t felt for a long time.” Like my entire life span.
“Tana,” Dagda’s voice says tentatively from behind her. He has risen from the sand and is just a few feet away.
Tana shakes her head. “No,” she says quietly to me. “I cannot speak to him. I…I just cannot.”
I nod. Looking at my biological father, I say, “She just needs time.”
“Who will take care of her then?” His voice makes it clear she will not be returning to those who offered her refuge before.
“We will.” Tabitha’s strong voice rings out in the night. She and Isla both are standing by the terrace. Even Garren has come outside. He is standing close to Isla and she is not pushing him away.
Coming to kneel beside us, Dagda says softly, “Is that okay? Will you stay here?” There is a quiet desperation in his voice as if he needs her to speak to him if only to answer this one question.
Tana meets his eyes and the softening in them gives hope for the future. “I will.”
Dagda reaches out to brush a strand of hair from her cheek but she shrinks back. Dagda drops his hand back to his side. “May I visit you?”
God, my heart is breaking for him. Sure, he was an ass and he cheated on her, but I can tell he loves her so much. Honestly, I don’t know what I would say in Tana’s situation. Could I ever forgive Kallen for cheating on me? I don’t know that I could.
Tana is obviously a better Fairy than I am. “I…I would like that. Eventually.”
Dagda nods and I swear there’s a tear trying hard to fall from his eye. “I will come anytime you are willing to see me.”
Tana nods and then averts her eyes. Dagda takes this as the hint it is. He rises to his feet and steps away from her. Then, before I know what he’s doing, he has pulled me into a tight embrace. “Thank you,” he says gruffly. Yup, there are tears on his cheek when he presses it to the top of my head.
“Mmmffff,” is all I can manage because my face is pressed so tightly against his chest. Again, he’s good at picking up on a clue. He releases me from his hold.
“You’re welcome,” I say when I can breathe again. I repeat what Grandma said. “This isn’t going to happen immediately. You’ll have to prove that she can trust you again.”
He nods sadly. “I know. I expect that to be a long road to travel.” Looking at his wife who is still kneeling in the sand and avoiding looking at him, he says, “Please take good care of her. Give her anything she needs and please let me know if there is anything I can do. I will take care of everything else.” By that I assume he means cleaning up the messes she made and the people she alienated. No one is going to be able to convince him now to try her for treason.
Okay, now I have a tear in my eye. Or maybe it’s a grain of sand because I couldn’t possibly be choking up over the emotion in Dagda’s voice. Of course not. “We will,” I say with a surprisingly uneven voice. Okay, maybe I’m a little choked up.
Dagda nods once and then turns on his heels and walks away. I watch his form disappear around the house. From the corner of my eye, I can see that I am not the only one watching him. I can also see the longing in the other set of eyes. She’s going to forgive him.
When Dagda is gone, Tabitha bustles over to Tana. “We should get you inside,” she says, helping Tana to her feet. “You will catch your death of cold as weak as you are. Since the house has not fallen down on Garren, I guess it’s safe for habitation as long as the walls are bolstered with some magic.” She looks pointedly at Garren who nods. “I imagine we will have quite a mess around here while the giant hole is being fixed, but we will just have to tolerate it. Right now, I will make you a light snack and then draw a nice, warm bath for you. You will be good as new in no time.”
Everyone knows that isn’t quite true, but we keep that to ourselves. I stand back as Tabitha leads Tana into the house. Kallen comes to my side. “I cannot believe you did it. You have brought her back from the brink of destruction.”
I shrug uncomfortably. “I didn’t do it alone.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close. “But you made sure that it happened. That is true power.”
Our attention is caught abruptly by Isla’s strangled cry of surprise. We both turn towards her and are surprised to see Garren with his hands on her cheeks and kissing her deeply. The miracle here? After that little stifled sound, Isla doesn’t try to pull away. She lets him kiss her in a slow, deliberate way. After a long, uncomfortable moment for Kallen and me, he releases her lips.
“It is about time you find some forgiveness in your heart,” Garren says. “Because I have every intention of spending the rest of my life with you and you need to get on board with that. I was a young fool, but I am a much wiser old Fairy now. I know what I want and there is nothing anyone can say or do to stop me from loving you. Including you.”
I don’t think Isla’s capable of speech at the moment. She brings her fingers to her lips as if she can’t believe what just happened. Watching her look like a love struck teenager is kind of funny. Neither Kallen or I laugh, though. We don’t want to spoil this moment.
Taking Isla’s hand in his, Garren tugs her towards the house. “Come on, I can see I still have some sense to talk into you.”
Yeah, like talking is what he has in his mind right now. Regardless, Isla lets him pull her up the terrace steps and into the house. It’s about time she came around.
“I am not sure how I feel about that,” Kallen says.
“I think it’s a good thing,” I say, looking up at my gorgeous husband.
Turning to me with a mischievous grin, he says, “It is awfully crowded in there at the moment. Care to take a walk on the beach?”
“To collect shells?” I ask in an innocent voice.
He quiets me with his mouth on mine. His kiss is all consuming and explains exactly what he wants to do on the beach. Still, he whispers in my ear, �
��I want you, my love. I want to make love to you in the sand under the stars. I want to feel your precious, soft skin against mine as I join our bodies together under the crescent moon.”