The Commitment (The Unrestrained #2)

by S. E. Lund

  I felt completely safe with Drake. Even if he wanted to do things that I wasn't completely sure about, like the role playing, mock rape and anal, I knew I could trust him to go only as far as I could stand and no farther. It wasn't that he was a gentle Dom who was into control and not pain; it was that he really truly wanted to see me fulfilled in whatever form of submission made me the most happy.

  Our meal was catered and it was delicious – something pretty simple but tasty – chicken stuffed with feta cheese, asparagus grilled with garlic, fingerling potatoes roasted with rosemary. There was a light dessert of fruit and Crème Brȗlée and plenty of white wine to accompany it. Drake moderated his drinking in comparison to the previous night for he had to go out and meet Maureen at the hospital. I had a bit more than I would normally have, enjoying myself so much I let my father fill my glass twice.

  Drake watched me, smiling. While my father went to answer his cell in private and Elaine went to the kitchen to make some tea, Drake reached over and stroked my cheek. "You're flushing from the wine. You look very alluring. I wish I could take you home right now, instead of going to meet Maureen. Later," he said, his voice low, sexy. "We'll do something special."

  That sent a thrill through me. I felt a bit deprived, having not had sex for two days.

  When it was time for us to leave, we said our goodbyes to my father and Elaine and Drake led me down to the parking garage where the car was, me laughing when I tripped against him.

  "You and high heels," he said, amusement in his deep voice. "I'll have to make sure you always wear them when we go out so you'll remind me of our first meeting in the bar."

  Drake helped me into the car and buckled my seatbelt for me. I sat like a lump and let him look after me, smiling when he adjusted the shoulder belt, giggling a bit when his hand brushed my breast. His eyes met mine. "You're drunk, Ms. Bennet. I will have to find a way to take advantage of you tonight."

  "Mmm," I said, closing my eyes, a thrill coursing through my body at that promise. "I like it when you take advantage of me."

  "You'll be an even easier lay, with all that wine in you."

  "An easy lay?" I said with mock-affront. "May I remind you that you went to a lot of effort to finally succeed in ravishing me?"

  He laughed and went around to the driver's side. "I did go to a lot of effort. You're worth every ounce."

  We drove back to the apartment in Chelsea and Drake helped me up, taking off my coat and heels, and carrying me to the living room. After depositing me on the couch, he went to the kitchen, poured a tall glass of water for me and gave me two aspirin.

  "Take these," he said, handing them to me. "Drink up. I'm going to fuck you when I get back from seeing Maureen. I want you wide awake and responsive. No falling asleep or I might have to spank your cute little round ass."

  I leaned my head back against the couch. "I didn't like it when you spanked me at the dungeon party," I said. "I thought I might like it, but I didn't."

  "That was a punishment spanking. It's not supposed to feel good. I'm glad you don't like it. We would likely never have clicked if you had enjoyed it."

  I nodded, fighting to keep my eyes open. I drank down the water and took the aspirin.

  "I'll make you a cup of coffee before I go. I want you to sober up a bit." He went to the kitchen and prepared me a cup and then kissed me on the mouth. "Wait up for me. I probably won't be too long."

  "I will."

  He left me alone on the couch. I switched on the flatscreen and listened to the news, trying to sober up enough that I wouldn't fall asleep before he returned. Despite my best efforts, I wasn’t able to wake up. When Drake still wasn't home by ten o'clock, I went to the bed and fell asleep. Despite my attempts to stay awake I was still recovering from our night of vodka.

  Drake didn’t wake me up to fuck me as I thought he might. Instead, when I woke in the morning, the light streaming in from the window, Drake was asleep, fully clothed, lying on top of the covers beside me with his back turned to me.

  I thought about what he'd said that first night we were at the Russian Tea Room – that if we became involved, we'd meet, he'd tie me up and fuck me, make me come several times and I'd sleep like a baby. He'd been so right about that – I had been sleeping really well since we'd become lovers, the sex keeping me in a state of near bliss despite the ups and downs of our relationship. But not last night or the night before.

  "Drake," I said, sitting up on my elbow.

  After a moment, he turned over, a hand covering his eyes.

  "Ms. Bennet, what's going on in that mind of yours so early in the morning?"

  He pulled his hand away and there was a bruise on his face, below his eye, which was turning black and blue.

  "Drake, what happened?" I leaned over and examined him closely. "You’re hurt."

  "I got into an," he said and hesitated. "An altercation."

  "What?"

  "I don’t want to talk about it."

  I didn't say anything more, due to the note of finality in his voice. Finally, he opened his eyes, blinking against the brightness of the morning light. His eyes were so pale blue, they seemed to pierce my heart when our eyes met, but they were definitely bloodshot.

  I looked him over from head to foot. "Why didn’t you wake me up when you got home? If I had known you were injured…"

  "If you had known, you wouldn’t have slept."

  "What happened?"

  He exhaled heavily. "Maureen and I had it out and I kind of lost it. Chris and I had a pushing match and I came out worse for the wear. Luckily, neither of us pressed charges. Then, I kind of lost myself for a few hours. When I came home, I was too drunk to even get undressed."

  I frowned. "What do you mean, 'lost myself'?"

  "I drank with Dave Mills. I believe he drank me under the proverbial table and had to drive me home. I'm surprised I didn't wake you up."

  "What happened to make you and Chris fight?"

  He sighed heavily. "I don't want to get into it. Suffice to say Maureen pretty much rejected my request to give Liam the photo of my dad."

  "Oh, Drake..." I kissed him briefly and he let me but he didn't kiss me back. He said nothing, turning over and I knew not to push him.

  I had a shower, still a little hung over. It upset me to think Drake and Chris got into a fight. After I dried off, I saw that he was still sleeping so I put on my robe and went to the kitchen to have something to eat.

  In about an hour, I heard him having his own shower.

  Later, we sat at the island, looking out the window at the blue sky. Usually, we'd discuss the plans for the day. Instead, he was silent, smiling briefly at me when I handed him his coffee. He sighed heavily and it made me think he really did want to talk about Maureen.

  "Drake, tell me what happened."

  He made a face and turned back to the Manhattan skyline.

  "Maureen didn't promise me anything except that she'd give the picture to Liam when he was eighteen."

  "Why did she want you to come to the hospital?"

  He said nothing for a moment and then he blew his breath out as if he was trying to calm himself. "She wanted me to see him," he said, his voice breaking. "In case he died before we left for Africa." He rubbed his forehead. "She also wanted it to be the last time I made contact with her or him until he was eighteen. She wants me to give the donation and fade into the background. I asked her if I could meet him, talk to him after, but she said no. She told me not to bother making contact with her or him and if I did," he said, his voice really low. "She said she'd get another restraining order."

  A shock when through me, the adrenaline making my heart beat faster. "That's horrible, especially since it wasn’t you who made contact in the first place."

  "I guess I shouldn't have expected anything more from her." He sat quietly, staring out the window. I wanted to press him, but didn’t, letting him say what he wanted, when he wanted. "When they left for supper, I went back to Liam's room. I know the nurses
and they looked the other way because they know I'm his biological father. I spoke with Liam. Told him I was a doctor and wanted to check in on him. He talked to me for a while about the whole procedure. He's such a strong little boy." He said nothing for a moment as if he was overcome with emotion. "I was leaving when Chris came back for something and saw me with scrubs on. He confronted me, followed me out of the hospital and we had a scuffle outside in the parking lot."

  "Oh Drake, I'm so sorry…"

  He shook his head. "I was good enough when I might be a potential tissue match for Liam, but once I agreed to donate, I'm back to being the evil ex-husband with perverted proclivities."

  "Hardly perverted. You're mild compared to the Doms whose profiles I read on FetLife."

  He rubbed his forehead. "You know that and I know that, but to Maureen, I'm the Devil's spawn. I was a jerk, Kate, not really knowing what I was doing, clumsy, demanding, but I wasn't nearly as kinked out as many Doms are. And I would never say anything to Liam about who and what I am to him. I just wanted to speak to him, hear his voice…"

  I reached out and clasped his hand in mine, squeezing it.

  "I never thought she'd be so nasty to me, despite the divorce. I was generous with her. I didn’t fight her demands when we split. I was too devastated. She made me feel like a perverted monster. How she must hate me…"

  I felt so bad for him. "Your split with Maureen sounds like my split with Kurt, except it must have hurt much more since you two were actually married. Kurt and I were only together for a few months."

  "It was hard." He turned back to me, his eyes searching my face. "To be married for five years, to get that close, to become so used to having someone there all the time, and to have it go sour and fall apart." He shook his head. "I was so blind back then. So focused on my career, on my place in the world, I failed to work on my marriage. She had every right to fall out of love with me. Even hate me. It's a mistake I'll never make again."

  "What mistake?" I asked, curious about his thoughts on why his marriage failed. "Not pay attention to your relationship?"

  He nodded. "I won't neglect you, Kate. If you ever feel the least bit neglected, let me know, for it won't be intentional. I want you to feel completely loved and cared for, the focus of my attention when I'm with you."

  I smiled and leaned over to kiss him, and he met me half way, our lips pressing together, my breath hitching in my chest.

  "I want you to feel the same," I said. "I've never lived with a man before, so I don't really know what to expect, but if I ever fail to please you, if I ever neglect you, I want to know."

  He smiled finally, for the first time in a while. "Living with a man? Let me give you some advice. Expect a lot of sex. Expect him to fall dead asleep soon afterwards. Expect him to watch you greedily all the time, like you're dessert and he can't wait to get to eat you. Or, at least, that's the way I feel when you're with me."

  I smiled, a thrill going through me. "You can eat dessert whenever you want." I crawled onto his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck.

  "Mmm, Ms. Bennet," he murmured against the skin on my neck. "I think you might seduce me with that coy look of yours, but I'm not in any shape for anything this morning."

  "Of course not," I said. "Let's take it really easy today. I have to go back to the studio and apply the next coat of gesso, but otherwise, we should just stay home and recover."

  He shook his head. "I have some work to do and will be busy all day."

  "I can't talk you into taking the afternoon off? Even you deserve a vacation…"

  "I don't think I can," he said. "Since I'm staying longer, I have to finish up some work for our next shareholder meeting. Then I have to go in and get my first shot. The oncologist wants to do a peripheral blood stem cell harvest. I have to take growth factors that will increase the number of stem cells in my blood."

  "The Filgrastim?"

  He nodded. "I'll be taking it for four days before they do the harvest."

  "I did some reading. You won't be feeling well for a while?"

  "Just mild bone pain. Nothing I won't be able to handle. Nothing worse than how you feel the day after a really hard workout at the gym." He smiled softly. "We'll have a nice quiet night together.

  I hugged him more closely, eager for the night to finally arrive.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Drake dropped me off at the studio, and this time, he didn’t seem as suspicious of me going there, despite being alone with two or three men he didn’t really know. I was glad – his jealousy made me smile, but I didn’t want him to really feel any concern. I didn’t even think about them other than as fellow artists.

  I helped Keith, the other artist sharing the studio, work on a couple of new frames for his collection in repayment for Nathaniel helping me with mine. The guys at the studio were anything if not communitarian and cooperative. All for one and one for all, seemed to be their motto.

  Keith was an interesting contrast to Nathaniel and Jules. Unlike them, he wasn't a pothead, nor did he look like he stepped out of the sixties and I couldn’t imagine the word 'dude' or 'herb' crossing his lips. He was tall with longish dark hair and eyes. He wore a black turtleneck and jeans, and looked more like he belonged in a Lit class about Lord Byron than in an art studio. His paintings were portraits of people, street people, shopkeepers, city celebrities and the buildings they inhabited. They were all dark and brooding, like him.

  When I finished putting the final coat of gesso on the canvases, I said goodbye to Nathaniel and Keith and then took a taxi back to Drake's apartment in Chelsea. At about eleven, the phone rang. I answered and it was Maureen.

  "Drake's at the hospital getting his first shot," I said when she asked for him.

  "He already did it and left."

  "He said he had some other work as well."

  "He must have turned his cell off. You tell Drake that I've spoken with all the staff and they know not to let him back on the ward. If he tries to see Liam again, they've been instructed to call the police."

  A wave of shock and anger raced through me. "Drake only wanted to see his son. Surely you can understand that."

  "What I understand is that Drake is dangerous. He punched Chris in the face. You should keep that in mind, Kate. I don’t know who you are but listen to me. Drake thinks he has everything under control but he's fooling himself. He's one stressor away from losing it."

  I tried to keep my voice calm, but it shook when I spoke. "He's one of the calmest men I know."

  "He fights his nature really hard, but underneath, there's a lot of anger bottled up. He thinks that by being involved in that lifestyle he can control it, but it's still there. Don't say I didn’t warn you."

  "Goodbye," I said and hung up on her. I'd had just about enough women warning me off Drake. First Dawn and now Maureen.

  I sat alone in the apartment and wondered what to do. Drake had to watch himself. It was understandable that he'd want to visit his son. I just hoped he didn’t try to see Liam again. He didn’t need this kind of aggravation.

  Once I calmed down, I spent the afternoon planning out my canvas, dividing up my sketch into quadrants so I could transfer the outline onto the larger surface and not lose the dimensions.

  I texted Drake to see when he was coming back and if I could fix anything for dinner, but he must have been busy, in meetings or appointments and didn't answer my texts. Finally late in the afternoon, he texted me once – a brief message to say he'd received his first injection and would be at his apartment in Chelsea by six o'clock. We'd have a quiet dinner and spend the evening at home.

  We ate a late supper and then spent the rest of the evening lying together on the couch listening to old music. There was no time that felt right to tell him about Maureen. We were having such a nice time together, I hated ruining it by giving him her message.

  I ran my hand over his stomach, touching the bandage from his first injection.

  "Will they give you another needle in your gut
tomorrow?"

  He nodded. "I'll be a real pin cushion when they're finished. But what I'm going through is nothing compared to what Liam's experiencing."

  "What's happening to him?"

  He sighed. "They have to give him drugs to destroy his bone marrow. Chemotherapy and radiation."

  "For how long?"

  "Four to seven days, depending. By the time my donation is ready, he'll be ready to take it."

  "When will you know if the transplant takes?"

  Drake sighed again. "A couple of weeks. Maureen said she'd keep me updated and I have my own contacts in the hospital, so I should know by the end of the month if his body is tolerating the new stem cells and if the transplant has been successful." He was silent for a few moments, but I could tell he wanted to say something. "Do you mind waiting? I know you withdrew from the graduate program, thinking that we'd be in Africa by now."

  "I don't mind waiting at all. I want to be with you, wherever that is."

  "Thank you," he said and kissed the top of my head as I lay in his arms.

  "Life's too short to worry about a few months when something as important as this comes up," I added. "Columbia will still be here when I get back. My scholarship's safe as long as I start up again at the end of my leave. Besides, I'm so happy to be painting again."

  He squeezed me in his arms. "I don't want you regretting being with me. When we come back, I’ll make sure not to distract you from finishing your Masters. Or focusing on your art. Whatever makes you happy."

  "I won't regret this," I said, looking up in his eyes. "I'm so looking forward to Africa and that surprises me, considering my history. I want to go to Kenya, go on safari, see the positive things you've described. I want to wash away the bad memories from Mangaize."

  "I want you to see it," he said, stroking my cheek. "I want the ghosts of the camps to be chased away by good things."

  I snuggled more closely in his arms and enjoyed his warmth.

  "I think I'll sneak in before Liam gets the transplant. Maybe when he's sleeping, so I can check on him. As his biological father, I think I have the right."