by Skyla Carter
"Can we talk?" he asked when he finally stood in front of her. "In private?"
"Not now, Nate."
She couldn't make any decisions, not in her frame of mind.
"I could just as easily sit right here next to you and say what I have to say in front of John and Alyssa."
"Are you always such a dick?" she snapped, referring to the fact that this was the second time he's threatened to reveal her business that morning.
"If it's the only way I can get you to listen to me."
"You have one minute," she said through grit teeth as she stood up and walked away from John and Alyssa.
Nate lowered his hood and followed her to a spot away from the other fighters.
"Rae... what happened this morning wasn't me. I've never slept with a girl I hardly know," Nate started.
Was he trying to brush her off? Did he think that, just because she'd revealed that she was looking for a relationship she'd try and get her hooks into him, now that he'd slept with her?
"And now you regret it, yada yada," Rae cut in. "It's all right, Nate. What's done is done. You don't have to keep apologizing to me."
"Will you let me speak? I don't regret it at all. It was incredible. I've never had such a connection with anyone, not from the get go. I just wanted to find out where you stand on all this," he said. "You left in such a hurry, I didn't know what to think."
"What?"
What did he mean he never had such a connection from the get go. Did that shit happen all the time for him?
"I know this is all crazy, Rae. We only met yesterday and quite by coincidence as well. I know you'd never have spoken to me otherwise and then this morning would never have happened. I'm really messed up and probably the last thing you need right now but this morning you came into my room looking seriously hot, I couldn't help myself. I forgot all the reasons why I'd told myself I couldn't touch you."
"What are you saying?" she asked, looking deep into his eyes.
"I'm saying, if you'll let me, I want to get to know you and for you to know me," Nate replied. "I want to be the one to make you feel special."
She looked into his eyes a minute longer and saw the sincerity in them. This is what she'd wanted, wasn't it? To live out her last few weeks with one man who would show her what her life could have been like.
"I don't know. I can't think right now. I don't think you've really thought this through, either. I'll probably end up fucking you over or something."
She had no idea where that came from. Why was she even questioning the gift that had been placed at her feet? And when had she ever considered anyone else's feelings?
"We'll worry about that if it happens. Just give me a chance. I've been mopping around nursing a broken heart and broken dreams for three months now, then this morning you made me see that there's something else out there, it was like I suddenly started living again and my chains were broken. I haven't felt like this in a long time. I'm not ready to let you go just yet," he said. "Just think about it, okay? I'm not putting any pressure on you."
She nodded her head in agreement even though she knew she'd say yes. He was different and trying to unravel all the complexities that made him who he was would keep her interested. How did someone make love like that? Did it not scare him? It was like he had looked into her very soul and found only beauty in it, beauty that he had nurtured with every sensual thrust until it had exploded all around her and washed over her.
Before she knew what was happening, he pulled her into his arms and gave her a tender kiss, right there in front of everyone. She had never been kissed like that before. All her kisses were urgent, hungry ones that led to sex. Nate's kiss made her feel... special, and it confirmed it for her again that she had picked the right guy.
"Just to make sure you do think about me," he whispered with a little smile before walking away.
Corey stopped in his tracks when he saw Nate pull Rae into a kiss. He didn't know what had happened between them the previous night but he knew that morning Nate had fucked the shit out of her! He could always tell when Rae had been indulgent. Somehow, he had thought that would be the end of Nate. The last thing he'd expected was this kiss.
When Nate pulled away, he noticed the goofy little smile that played on Rae's lips. That was when it really hit home. She was serious. She really wanted someone other than him to cuddle at night. She really wanted to make room in her life for someone other than him. He knew it sounded crazy, but he had never imagined he would actually have to give her up to someone else.
Not that she was his to give. They were just friends, he could never give her what she was obviously looking for. It was just that she was his person. He had thought she wouldn't buy into all this love bullshit. The deal they had made had been her idea, after all. She had told him that theirs would be a relationship based on mutual respect and thirty years of shared secrets. She had told him they had a bond which could never be broken. Well, there went their five babies and the big six bedroomed house with a swimming pool and room for a few ponies.
He couldn't understand any of it. He didn't see anything wrong with the way she lived now. What was wrong with taking what you wanted when you wanted it? She was only young, she was supposed to live dangerously! Then when thirty came, all of it would be behind her and she'd be ready to give her all to raising a family. She was doing this five years too soon. They were supposed to do it together.
But he was nowhere near ready to settle down so obviously he had to let her go. Her happiness came first, after all. So sure, her being in a relationship would throw up so many boundaries, but he'd cross those bridges when he got to them. She was his best friend, he would stand by her no matter what. If only he could be sure that she wouldn't drift away from him while she chased down this mythical love. He couldn't imagine not having her in his life.
"It hurts, doesn't it?"
He turned his head to see Peyton standing next to him.
"What?" he frowned in irritation.
"Watching someone you're in love with make out with someone else." Peyton smirked.
"Don't talk stupid!" Corey snapped.
"I've watched you two over the weekend. You're in love with her, your face says it all," Peyton laughed. "How did you feel when she was whoring with half the roster? Did you look at them like you're looking at Nate?"
"You don't know shit, Peyton. I'm no more in love with her than I'm in love with you! I do love her though, which is more than I can say about you," Corey snapped. "I wouldn't even piss on you if you were on fire!"
With that he walked towards Rae, a cup of coffee in his hand. Love? The Great Legend Killer didn't do love.
"Do you think he realizes he's in love with her?" Alyssa asked.
They had been watching Nate and Rae's little exchange when their attention had been drawn to Corey. He'd looked like his best friend had just died.
"No," John answered. "If you tell him he'll just bite your head off, though. Rae doesn't either. I tried smacking their heads together about it once but they laughed at me like I'd just told the funniest joke ever."
"That's a shame. I think Corey is the best person to help her find what she's looking for," Alyssa stated. "No one knows her better and they've practically been married their whole lives. It's a no brainer."
"They don't see it that way. The sad part about it is that I think they'll realise it when it's too late."
"What do you mean?"
"It will take one of them actually falling in love with someone else before the other realizes how they feel," John explained. "It's like a doomed love story."
"I don't think so," Alyssa argued. "I think the reason they fly from one meaningless night to another is because they are destined to be together. They can't fall in love with anyone else when they already love each other."
"Of course they can. Everyone has that one true love and then they have the love of their life. Corey is Rae's true love, but if he doesn't wake up she'll end up with the love of her lif
e."
"That doesn't make sense. That's the same thing, true love and the love of your life."
"No it isn't. Some of us never meet our true loves, you know the one you always imagined with all the traits you've always dreamed about, the one who's one hundred percent perfect. We meet someone else who has most of the things we're looking for and some we hadn't even imagined, but they aren't our one hundred percent and we settle for them. We might not think we're settling, but we are."
"That's rubbish. No one is perfect."
"That's true, but someone who truly loves you will never see you faults. You're like superman, you're perfect," John mused. "Corey thinks Rae is perfect and she completely adores him. But I think she will fall in love with someone else."
"I've never looked at it like that. It makes a bit of sense, I suppose. When did you become such an expert?" she teased.
John looked at the brunette and gave her a shy little smile.
"I don't know. I watch people, I guess."
He cleared his throat a bit and said, "So... have you ever been in love?"
"I thought I was in love once, you know heart beating fast, struggling to breath and all that. Turned out it was just indigestion! The man turned out to be such a prick," Alyssa said. "How about you? I know Corey teases you about it a lot."
"I don't fall in love with them," he argued. "I guess it's just the romantic in me that so wants to believe there's someone out there for everyone, so I keep trying."
"Even when you get burned?"
"Even then," he answered. Then he cleared his throat again. "Would you like to go for a drink or a meal when we land? No, wait... you're probably tired...maybe we could just watch a movie... if you want to. Unless you just want to sleep... not with me, with yourself... I mean in your room, just you... not with me... you know, coz you're tired..."
Alyssa chuckled and put a hand on his arm to stop him.
"I'd love to go for a meal with you when we land," she smiled.
"I bought you some coffee. It's the horrible machine stuff but I thought you needed it."
The goofy smile left her face to be replaced by the cold look he'd been given all morning. Then she just turned from him and walked back to her seat.
As he watched her, he realised it had already started. She was drifting away from him. She'd never let words come between them before, not like this. True, he'd never said the words he had said to her before. He didn't know where they'd come from. Any man would be lucky to have her in his life, he'd always thought that. He knew about a million men who'd love to have her permanently in their lives and their beds.
With a sigh, he followed her to take a seat right next to her. He'd have to corner her on the flight, she'd have nowhere to run then and she'd be forced to listen to him. Nate had been lucky, he had sex to help him win his case. All he had was lousy coffee.
I'm telling you Dave, she was with him all morning," Brian told the man he was sitting next to. "And you saw them together last night at the show, didn't you?"
Dave pretended to leaf through a magazine. He was still seething from the little show Nate and Rae had put on and now Kendrick had just revealed something bigger. How could she sleep with him then kiss him up after like they were some sort of couple? She'd told him she didn't do shit like that, that when it was over, it was over.
"When I went into the room, it was like I was invisible. She got out of Nate's bed completely naked to find her clothes. And I'm pretty sure she wasn't wearing any underwear when she walked out of that door!"
"So she just walked out, no kisses no cuddles?" Dave asked.
"No. Nate kept shouting for her to let him explain something but she walked out without a word."
A little smile formed on his lips as he buried his face in the magazine again. Obviously things weren't as cosy as they seemed. He didn't want to think that she'd just sleep with him and not give him a chance then the very next minute she's in a relationship. It galled him that she'd slept with Nate, of course, but obviously, that was what it was. It was like she'd said, she didn't do relationships. So he'd work on her until she decided he was worth another chance.
He'd come to that decision the night before when he'd been struggling to sleep. Rae had only occupied his bed for a few hours but that had been enough to ensure she would haunt it forever. Even though they were in different cities night after night, in different beds, he was sure images of her would follow him wherever he went. He couldn't explain it. Making love to her had been liberating. He had thought, as old as he was, he knew it all, but Rae had shown him some things, taken him to places he never knew existed. He had never experienced that before, not even with his ex-wife. So he had decided he would pursue her until she lay in his bed again.
He wasn't prepared to let her go.
***
"I was jealous."
She had been taking one final look at the city, knowing she would never set foot in it again. She hadn't heard what Corey had said.
"What?"
"I said I was jealous. I still am, actually."
Corey was looking down into his orange juice like it contained something too interesting to look away from.
"Jealous? Why would you be jealous?" she frowned.
Corey let out a sigh and put his drink down.
"I've always been able to depend on you, you're my biggest fan. I wouldn't have accomplished most of the things I have if it hadn't been for my little cheerleader," he answered, still not looking at her. "When you do find what you're looking for, you're going to be cheering for someone else and I'm selfish enough to not want that. I wanted to keep you to myself. You've been mine since you were one. I can't handle the thought of letting you go."
"Corey..."
"Let me finish," he cut in. "I know that's childish, but that's how I feel. I don't want to call you at three in the morning and have some guy tell me to call back in the morning because you're asleep. I don't want to have to watch if the way I touch you is appropriate. I don't want things to change. But I love you and I'm going to stand by you. There should never have been any question on that. I've been standing by you your whole life. I'm sorry I said what I said. I just didn't know how to handle it. Any guy you choose would be lucky to have you in his life."
"Corey, I know things will probably change, but you're always going to be the most important person in my life," she said as she took his hand in hers. "I'm not going to let some guy come between us."
"You say that now, but when you do fall in love you're going to think the sun shine's out of this guy's ass. He's going to be the most important person to you and I'll be just Corey, the guy you grew up with," Corey said, finally looking at her. "I've made my peace with it. I'll be happy with whatever makes you happy. Just don't forget all about me, okay?"
He was the biggest reason she was there but she couldn't tell him. Sure, she was looking for a little taste of what she could have had, but no man would ever come close to taking Corey's place in her heart. He was too important to her. He was the only person in the whole world who knew every single detail of her life, all her fears, her secrets, her strengths and her weaknesses, her joys and heartaches. No matter what they said about love, she didn't think anyone could ever become that important to her that she would forget what Corey meant to her.
"I'll never forget about you, Corey," she whispered, lifting her palm to his face. "You mean everything to me. Whatever happens from here on out, just remember that."
She meant that in a completely different light. Once she was gone, he would realise the true meaning of her words.
Corey took her hand and kissed her palm.
"I really am sorry. I can't stand you not talking to me," he said. "Well, you spoke to me last night but I don't think that counts."
"I can't remember anything past my first drink."
"I didn't think you would. For someone who likes their drink, you're a pathetic lightweight!" Corey chuckled.
"I didn't take all my clothes off in public aga
in, did I?"
"You say that like you wouldn't have enjoyed it if you had," Corey laughed.
"That was the old Rae. The new one won't be taking her clothes off for anyone but Nate."
"You walk around the hotel room in nothing but your underwear! I'm sure that counts as taking your clothes off."
"Yeah, but you and John don't count."
"Thanks!" Corey said with mock sarcasm.
"You know what I mean."
"I do," Corey smiled. "So I saw you with Nate earlier. You two sorted your issues out?"
"More or less," she replied, thinking about her wild morning. "I have to give him an answer soon."
"If he ever treats you bad, you know you can tell me, don't you?"
"I know," she smiled. "You always have my back."
When they checked into their room in Albany, Corey and John had to head straight out as they had an appearance somewhere in town before the house show. She had hardly spent time with them since she had arrived; quality time, that was. Pulling in a noisy club or following them around in an arena didn't really count. Now that she'd settled on her 'someone' she should really make time to spend with Corey. The last thing she wanted was for him to feel like he wasn't important to her anymore. She didn't have much time left.
She was lying on the bed, thinking about the events of the past few days and how she'd made quite a bit of progress, connecting with Irving and Nate. She'd expected it to take her at least two weeks, then a couple of weeks after that, she'd be jetting off. So now she'd bought herself an extra week of playing princess.
With a weary sigh, she reached into her bag and pulled out her list. The dreaded bucket list. It only had about 96 things on it. Somehow she'd thought by the time it really mattered it would have a few hundred things on it, maybe even thousands since she'd always thrived on living in the fast lane. She hadn't sat down and wrote all 96 things down at once, she'd just added them on as she went along. Then after her little trip to Columbia, when she had finally surfaced from her drug induced haze, she had added the last, most important three.