She’d bolt. Her boldness was a disguise mayhap.
Blane urged her hands away and she let them fall to her sides. Was it his imagination or did he see her posture drop a little? She couldn’t understand how tempting she was. How much he wanted to fling her on the bed and possess her with every part of his body. Even if she wanted him, she had no understanding of the sort of man he was. He wasn’t deserving of one moment of her time let alone her body.
“Thank ye, I can manage now.” His voice came out hoarse, as though he’d swallowed rocks.
“Well—” she clasped her hands in front of her “—I shall bid ye good night. Rest well, Blane.”
His body stiffened at the use of his name. The soft timbre of her voice ricocheted through him and he turned away quickly lest she see the effect. “Goodnight,” he said firmly and waited until the door shut before moving again.
Blane stripped efficiently and climbed into the wooden tub. It was more than he could have expected. A quick wash by the well or in the loch would have sufficed, but his aching muscles loosened in gratification. He scrubbed a wet hand over his face and tried to force her voice and her features from his mind. Ceana fascinated him and he couldn’t be sure why. Beautiful, aye, but no more interesting than any other attractive lass, surely?
It mattered not. He pushed himself completely under and let the water cover him for several moments before coming up and drawing in a deep breath. On the morrow he’d continue hunting his prey.
And he’d have his revenge.
He finished washing and dried himself on a linen towel. Aware of the many women in the household, he put on his shirt to sleep in. At home, he preferred to sleep naked but he’d spent many a night fully clothed of late so it would be no hardship. Blane blew out the candles and slipped into the bed.
Though he released a sigh as the mattress cradled his weary body, tension sat in his muscles. It was easier, somehow, to stare up at the night sky and not be besieged by memories. Here, wrapped in a blanket of gloom, images flashed in front of his vision. Even when he closed his eyes, they were there—the dead, the dying. Men, women and children.
The sounds of the castle—the odd creak and the drip of water from somewhere seemed to change. That creak became a scream. That drip was blood draining from the woman in his arms. Blane gritted his teeth. He was a warrior. He’d been fighting since he was a lad. Blood and the horrors of war were commonplace, and it should not impact him this way. Yet he’d never slaughtered innocents nor come across such savagery.
At some point, the sounds faded. Blood red was replaced with unearthly blue and Blane sighed. Ceana was a welcome balm. Besides, what harm could it do to imagine her curled next to him for now? He’d managed not to touch her and he’d leave with the dawn. In his mind, however, he could do as he wished.
He couldn’t be sure when he’d fallen asleep but when the squeak of wooden floorboards awoke him, he realised he must have been deep in slumber. Darkness greeted him. He went for his sword only to recall he was no longer sleeping on the hard ground and his weapon was in the armoury. He relaxed his arm and listened.
There. Footsteps outside. Ceana? His heart bounded in his chest. It was foolish to hope and if she did come to him, he should send her away. Whether he actually would, he knew not.
The door eased open and blood roared in his ears. Blane pushed up onto his elbows and squinted as candlelight spread though the room.
“Ceana?”
Nay. This was no beautiful, curly-haired temptress. He narrowed his gaze to make out who the figure was. A woman—an older woman—with grey-streaked, dark hair. She came toward him and he recognised the features. Though creased, they were like Ceana’s.
He opened his mouth to say something but she jabbed a finger in his direction. “Ye’ve come for my daughter, have ye not?”
Blane scowled. “Nay.”
She came closer and sank onto the end of his bed. A thin hand reached out and he froze when she cupped his cheek. “Yer handsome. Ye’ll do nicely.”
“Do nicely?”
“Aye. Ceana needs a strong man. Ye’ll please her.”
“I—”
“Mamaidh!”
Two more figures stumbled into his room. Light spilled in behind them, likely from a lit torch in the hallway. He resisted the urge to groan. These Malcolm women were a handful. He hoped they didn’t have any more hidden away. Kate came forward and pulled the woman off the bed.
“Time for bed, Mamaidh,” the lass urged.
“I was just visiting with our guest,” she protested.
“Aye, but he needs his rest.” Kate drew her away and Ceana came forward.
“Forgive my mamaidh. She meant no harm. She sleepwalks.”
“’Tis no bother.”
Ceana took another step forward. “I hope she didnae—” Her words were cut off with a tiny cry and she stumbled. His boots, he realised too late, as he caught her arms to prevent another fall. She fell into his lap in a crumpled heap. Her arms were bony, her legs long and slender. Blane fumbled to help her up and his hands came to her waist.
He could snap her in two with such ease. That awareness brought forward a surge of protectiveness. Did she go without so others could eat? It seemed likely somehow. The need to protect waned quickly when he became aware of soft, warm skin against the thin cotton of her chemise. She smelled of lavender and he inhaled deeply, drawing her back into the cradle of his lap.
“B-Blane...”
Ceana curled her fingers into his shirt. There was no hiding his arousal and no doubt she felt it against her. He pressed aside her riotous hair. All he wanted was a little taste. Perhaps a small touch. And if the way her body slowly unfurled into him, Blane suspected she felt the same.
The glow of the torches outside was enough to highlight her lightly trembling form. Her nipples pressed against the thin chemise and her pale skin begged for his lips. He eyed the creamy expanse of her neck and heard her shuddery breath. He’d seen her fear before and this wasn’t it. Ceana wanted his kiss as much as he wanted to give it.
With deliberate caution, he brought his mouth to her neck, just behind her ear. Another tremble ran through her and he tightened his grip as though lending what little strength he had left to her. The fragile length of her body fit perfectly against him and he was already imagining her laid out and bare for him.
Blane skimmed his lips down to her collarbone and up again to her ear. One finger under her chin, he coaxed her face around and stared into those evocative eyes. He saw no hesitation or fear. Taking one last, long draw of her warm scent, he lowered his mouth—
“Ceana!”
She wriggled against him like a trapped bird. “I must go. Kate needs me.”
He wanted to keep her there. Hold her and bid her to be selfish. To let him kiss and touch her until she forgot her sister and mother. But he recognised something in her that resonated with him—the need to look after others. He’d failed his duty of care so he wouldn’t prevent her from doing what she needed to.
Blane released her, even while doing so tore at his gut and created a heavy ache in his chest. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d wanted a woman so badly.
“G-Good night, Blane,” she whispered before turning away. She pressed aside his boots with a foot and moved carefully out of his bedchamber. He couldn’t help wonder if her slow pace meant she didn’t wish to leave him or was mayhap hoping he’d drag her back, but the brief moment of not touching her had brought him back to his senses.
The door closed behind her and he sank onto the bed, his hands behind his head. He had revenge to seek.
Ceana was a distraction he didn’t need.
Chapter Four
Even as the morning sun touched her skin, Ceana recalled the touch of something far more wonderful.
Blane.
A frisson ran through her body. She paused to look up at the bright sky, grateful for its light and the relative freedom it brought. Outside, shapes and colours were clear e
nough for her to be able to behave almost as any other woman might. She yanked on the rope and drew up the bucket to prop it on the side of the well.
She dipped her fingers in the icy water and dabbed it on her neck. Ceana couldn’t blame the sun for the heat traversing her body. Nay, it was the memory of being held in Blane’s arms, of his lips so close she could feel the heat of his breath.
He had intended to kiss her, had he not?
Part of her wished he had. It had been so long since she’d felt a man’s touch. Her husband had died over six summers ago in a skirmish on the border and finding another was not so easy—not with her broken body. Who would want a wife who could not perform her duties properly? Who could not even entertain him in bed? Danny had been understanding but he’d loved her deeply. She couldn’t expect a man who hardly knew her to accept her failings.
However, she wasn’t sure she’d decline him if he tried again. If all went well, she would persuade him to stay for a while. So how then would she continue to hide her troubles? It was too dangerous for it to be known that the keep was under the control of a near blind woman.
Ceana considered the disturbance last night. What if her mother’s behaviour had damaged her chances of persuading him to stay? As much as she loved her, she was becoming a handful. Her father had a calming influence over her, but these past months had brought on more sleepwalking and erratic behaviour.
Releasing a weary sigh, she lifted the bucket and paused. She watched the figure walk across the mud toward the stables. There was no doubting it was him. Dark hair, tall, and he moved like a wolf. Stealthy, nimbly. Her vision might not be enough to make out the lines of Blane’s muscles that she knew were there but she saw enough to recognise the power in his body.
Panic fluttered in her chest as he ducked into the stables and she dropped the bucket. Water splashed her side but there was no time. He was leaving them. He couldn’t go, he simply couldn’t. She needed him.
Careful not to trip over her skirts, she hastened across the grass as fast as she dared. Ceana felt hard mud under her slippers and put out a hand once she reached the doorway of the stables. She curled it around the wooden frame and put her head in. Her vision dimmed and the world became close to a mystery again.
“Blane?”
“Over here.”
She entered the stables and silently counted the wooden struts to where she knew his horse would be. “Oh.” Hard, muscled chest greeted her and she staggered back only to be grabbed and righted.
“Forgive me.”
She shook her head. “Nay, ‘twas my fault. I wasnae...” How could she explain?
“I shouldnae have stepped out on ye like that.”
“Yer leaving?”
“Aye.” His voice was solemn. “I was going to search ye out to thank ye for yer hospitality first.”
Ceana pressed her lips together. She couldn’t let him go so easily but begging for help went against everything she knew. With limited vision, it was too dangerous to depend on another. How easily she could be misled. But her people and her family were at stake here so her pride would have to suffer.
“Ye could stay a few more days?” she suggested. “Rest properly? Ye have travelled far.”
“I cannae.” He released her arm and she felt the distance between them increase.
“Surely a few days willnae hurt? There will always be more battles.” It seemed as though the fight with the English would never end sometimes. Mayhap it would, but only when all their men and boys were dead and the land was stripped bare.
“I cannae stay, Ceana.”
“I need ye to,” she blurted. “Pray stay.”
“If this is about what happened—”
“Nay!” She took a breath. “Nay, ‘tis not about that. We are alone here, Blane, and Englishmen have been spotted roaming the lands last time our men took a patrol. I fear greatly for our safety and I cannae ensure it on my own.”
He released a depreciative laugh. “Ye cannae think I can protect ye?”
Ceana put out a hand and found his arm not too far away. She rested her palm upon it, aware of the warm strength beneath his linen shirt. Even if she had seen nothing of him, this would have been proof enough of his strength and capability. These arms were warrior’s arms.
“I do. I think yer the answer to our prayers, Blane.”
“Forgive me, Ceana.” He eased away from her touch and moved past her.
She heard the rattle of metal and squeak of leather then the movement of his horse. When she turned to the doorway, she saw him silhouetted and followed after him.
“Ye cannae leave us!”
Blane turned to her and the splash of faint colour that was his lips stretched into what she suspected was a grim smile. “Ye’ve strong walls and strong women inside that keep. Ye’ll be safe enough.”
“Three days, ‘tis all I ask. We’ve a cousin coming to aid us soon but he willnae be here for another three days. What if the English come before then? We are but women and children. We cannae defend ourselves.”
“And ye think I’m capable of seeing off an army of Englishmen?”
“Aye. I think ye are.”
Silence echoed between them. She swung a glance sideways and noted their exchange had caused several of the women to pause in their daily chores and watch. None of them knew that a small band of Englishmen had been spotted several miles away. There was no sense in frightening them but she had told them to be on their guard.
“Ceana,” he finally said, his voice filled with regret, “I must go.”
“So ye can be killed with the rest of them?”
An audible breath emanated from him. “I’ve a battle to fight and I cannae delay. I’ve no doubt ye and yer sister will continue to do a fine job of protecting yer people.”
“Blane!” She fumbled to grab his arm when he turned away. “I cannae protect them. I cannae.” Tears of frustration began to burn in her eyes, making seeing him harder.
“Ceana...”
“Ye dinnae understand.” She gripped his arm tight this time and lowered her voice. “I cannae protect them because I cannae see.”
“What?”
“I cannae see.” The words came out in a rush, like a wave racing toward the sand. Relief washed through her and her shoulders felt lighter.
“I dinnae understand.”
“I was born almost blind. ‘Tis like looking through murky water. I can see ye but ‘tis blurry and in the dark, I am almost completely blind.” He turned to face her and she imagined he was studying her eyes as if to make out the truth. “’Tis why I stumbled so many times.”
“How is it ye moved about at all then?”
“I have it all up here—” she tapped the side of her head “—in my memory. As long as naught is moved or changed, I can find my way about the castle with ease.”
“Damnation,” he muttered.
“So ye see, I cannae protect these people.”
A hand came to rest upon hers where she gripped him. He eased her fingers off one by one and her heart nearly dropped into her stomach.
“I have to do this, Ceana. I dinnae expect ye to understand but I’m sure ye’ll be safe. Stay behind yer castle walls for the next three days and no harm shall come to ye.”
How could he say that? How could he leave them even after she’d admitted her weakness to him? The one outsider she’d shared it with and he had no more to say on it apart from to tell her to hide.
The heat of a tear trickled down her face. She swiped it away angrily. “Go to yer death then, Blane Ross.” She backed away. “I’ll no’ think on ye again.”
Swivelling on her heel, she stalked past the well and made her way down to the edge of the loch. Whether he watched her go, she knew not, but she cared not either. Ceana stared out at the blue expanse that dominated her vision and folded her arms across her chest. Damn him. She wouldn’t think on him again. Never.
***
The castle remained in sight as Blane made his way a
round the loch—taunting him.
Blind. How could he not have realised? She was adept at hiding it, for certain.
He’d travelled up the way he’d come and checked the tracks to be certain he was heading in the right direction. The English had continued on past the loch, mayhap not realising there was a keep over the hill but he’d backtracked, realising he could cut time off his journey if he simply circled the expanse of water.
Unfortunately, that meant he could imagine Ceana’s gaze following him, even though he was far from the keep and certainly not visible to her considering her lack of sight. He recalled how she had seemed to stare straight into his soul at times and released a wry laugh. She hadn’t been staring at him or even longing for him. Nay, she simply hadn’t been able to see him properly.
Brave, foolish lass. She should have sent him away considering her state. If their positions had been reversed, that’s what he would have done. Claws of regret scratched at his insides. He tightened his grip on the reins and focused on the mountain ahead.
She thought him capable of protecting them, but how could he when he hadn’t even been able to do the same for his village? Those people had relied on him but he had foolishly abandoned them all to join the fight against the English. Little did he know the fight would come closer to home.
And now he was abandoning Ceana.
But she would be safe, would she not?
What harm could come to her behind those strong stone walls? She lived in a fortress designed to withstand battle.
I couldnae hide behind the strong castle walls while the villagers are at the mercy of strangers.
God’s blood, would she try to put up a fight if anyone else approached? Would she stand with the villagers again instead of taking shelter?
He brought Dalma to a stop and eyed the stone castle, so small in the distance. “Hell’s teeth.” Blane shook his head. “Damn her.”
Ceana had been willing to risk her life for that child. Blane had no doubt she’d do it again. The damn lass would get herself killed without someone to look after her and, although Kate was a fierce sort of lass, she was a wee thing. What could she possibly do?
Her Highland Defender Page 3