by Natalie Grey
Terric’s chest was rising and falling too quickly, like a rabbit caught in a snare.
“You gave me a chance,” I said again. “And you didn’t tell anyone, did you? You didn’t even tell Fordwin.”
Terric shuddered slightly. “I was—weak.” The words took a lot of effort for him now.
“Were you?” I asked him. “Or did you see that I might have taken a different path, if things had gone differently? Did you see that I regretted what I was, even if I told you differently? Did you see that I might take a chance, if one was offered?”
He tried to laugh, and the effort pushed him over the edge. His eyes rolled up and his head fell back.
“Stay with me.” My voice was urgent. I eased an arm under his back and levered him up. I looked up as the world we knew fell away and we found ourselves in the domhan fior.
And Daiman was right. It gave us what we needed. We were in a hollow in the rock, lined with greenery, soft to lie on. Nearby, a pool of fresh, sweet water fairly sang with energy.
“Terric?” I murmured his name to him quietly. “Can you hear me at all?”
His head lolled against my shoulder as I laid him down. A touch of my life in his blood steadied his breathing and brought the color back to his cheeks.
I pulled my arm free and stood.
“What are you going to do?” Daiman asked quietly. “What was he trying to do?”
“Kill the strongest of us.” I looked over at him. “For always. Make sure there was never another me, or another him … another Philip. And Philip wanted the spell, to make sure no one could ever challenge him.”
I looked to the horizon, where a storm was prowling toward us, spitting lightning.
“Did he get it?” Daiman asked worriedly.
“No. And he won’t.” I turned away and stepped carefully up the slope, looking back once at the prone figure on the ground. “And Terric will heal.”
I threw a cage around the storm to keep it where it was. It drained most of the last of my power, but the storm wouldn’t find Terric now. I looked at the clouds for a long moment, and then back to Daiman.
“You’re just leaving him?” Daiman asked incredulously.
“I’m giving him a chance,” I said simply. “That’s what he did with me. He saw what I had become, and he saw how I had gotten there. He chose to give me a chance to change, and I’ll do the same for him. Because you were right.” I smiled slightly. “You can’t change people. Philip was never going to be able to change me back unless I wanted to. But you can give people the chance.”
Daiman looked down at Terric. “What if he doesn’t? You did, but … what if he doesn’t?”
“Then I’ll do what I have to.” I walked away, toward a clear blue sky. “But I don’t think we’ll see Terric again for a long, long time. And I don’t think he’ll use that spell. Come on.” I held out a hand.
“Where are we going?” Daiman wrapped his fingers around mine.
“To tell the Coimeail.”
“Tell them … what, exactly?”
“You know….” I shook my head. “I haven’t decided yet.”
As we walked away, I could barely hear Daiman’s words over the roll of distant thunder: “This should be interesting.”
Chapter 26
“You’re lying.” Akihito settled back in his chair.
“I’m not.” I laced my hands behind my back and took a deep breath as I looked around myself.
The Coimeail’s chamber was still half-destroyed. I could see the scorch marks from lightning strikes and fireballs—the legacy of Philip’s fight with Terric.
Terric’s chair, meanwhile, still stood open.
“It seems … rather convenient.” Maggie laced her fingers together and studied me. “Philip just happens to be gone, and so can neither confirm nor deny your story. There isn’t even a body.”
“He’ll turn up,” Daiman muttered. “He always does. He just likes disappearing.”
I gave a small smile.
“But the spell hasn’t been used,” Therese pointed out. She looked at each of the other three in turn. “So that part of Nicola’s story seems to be true. Because I should think the first thing he would do would be to use it … if he had it. Just as Terric would have if he were still alive.”
“It seems to be true,” Akihito said acidly. “But that is all assuming that we believe they had such a spell in the first place. Nicola’s story might be entirely a fabrication.”
“If you weren’t going to trust me, why hire me?” I pointed out. “What did you want from me? What would have made you believe me? Terric, bound and gagged—even though you asked for him dead? Philip’s head on a stake, even though that could be an illusion and nothing more? …Or was there nothing I could have done that would convince you?”
Akihito settled back in his chair with a scowl, and I could sense Maggie examining me.
“You must admit, however, that you can provide no proof at all.” Her voice was even.
“I don’t know what to tell you.” I met her eyes. “There should be evidence enough of a battle at the castle. No one has seen Philip, and neither has there been any evidence that he unleashed that spell—so it seems Terric told me the truth. And I am sorry that I have no body for you, but in the chaos of a fire battle, there wasn’t much I could do about that one.”
Therese folded her hands in her lap and looked down at them.
I waited, watching her, and was surprised when her grey eyes flicked up to mine all at once.
“He really said that?” she asked. “That he was already damned, that it might as well be him who made the sacrifice and killed those children?”
“He did.” I didn’t have to lie for this. I swallowed down the lump in my throat. “And he meant it. He … hated you for sending me.” There was no reason to shield them from this. “He knew he was your scapegoat.” I held up a hand when Maggie protested. “Whatever else you might have wanted to stop, he was also your scapegoat. At least admit it.”
She closed her mouth.
“Is it true?” Nergui asked Daiman. She had not yet spoken in this meeting; now, she watched Daiman carefully. “Everything Nicola has told us, is it true?”
“It is.” Daiman lied without hesitation, without the smallest flicker. “The Monarchists aided us in finding Philip’s castle. Philip … well, we did not see him. No one found him in that castle.”
Nergui looked to me for a moment, and I met her eyes, unflinching.
“And Terric is dead,” Daiman said quietly. I saw him commit to the lie in that moment. “Whatever he became … whatever all of you knew, he is dead.”
He did not look at me, but the air between us was electric.
He hadn’t needed to say it. But he had. He’d thrown his lot in with me, for good or ill.
“For the good of the magical world, maybe the spell he created—” Maggie began, but Daiman cut her off.
“Have you learned nothing?” He looked weary. “You saw where that line of thinking led Terric. Do you want to be him in another few hundred years, hunted down by an assassin because you’ve gone mad? Or do you want to accept that such harsh measures are almost never warranted? Do you want to accept that to rule is to make mistakes, that solutions are never perfect, that there will always be crimes? Do you want to rule for the thousands that have a conscience, or chain them all and kill our own children because some of us, only a few of us, have gone wrong?”
She had no answer to that.
“He’s right,” I said quietly. “It isn’t your way, and I know that—but even you could see that ‘your way’ was dangerous when Terric carried it to an extreme. I think you regret standing by while he killed those children. I think you carry that shame within you, and you’re searching for a way to tell yourself that what you did was necessary. But it doesn’t have to be this way.”
“And what would you have us do, then?” Therese gave a small smile. Despite her weariness, she was genuinely amused. “Run wild? Not te
ll our young the history of what evils magic has wrought? Not given them shelter?”
“Find a middle path,” I said quietly.
“Easier said than done,” Akihito pointed out.
“Hey, you signed up to rule the world.” I shrugged. “No one said it was going to be easy. I’m just offering suggestions.”
“And then what?” Maggie asked me. “Where are you going now?”
“I don’t know,” I answered. It was mostly honest. “I’ll be training.”
“Something Taliesen still doesn’t know, unless I miss my guess.” Her look to Daiman was like a knife.
“I will be journeying back to tell him in person,” Daiman said equably. “In any case, it is a matter for druids. And our work here is done.” He looked over to me. Shall we go? his eyes asked me.
I nodded slightly.
“You got what you wanted,” I told the Coimeail again. “Terric is gone. His spell was never unleashed. Now it’s up to you to make sure you don’t become what he was.” I paused, and then added, honestly: “I don’t envy any of you right now.”
To my surprise, Maggie laughed. “Somehow, I believe that.” She shook her head. “I just wish I had an idea where you were going.”
“Don’t worry,” I told her. I met her wry smile and gave her one of my own. “I’m sure we’ll see each other again.”
We left, boots scuffing on the stone steps as we left the tower in silence.
We made our way out of the Acadamh, aware of sorcerers staring at us from the gardens and the windows. I could feel eyes at my back … and the curious prick of spells, trying to learn my mind and burrow under my skin.
They were trying to track me. Of course they were.
“Shall we go north?” Daiman asked me, when we were clear of the gates. He looked out at the sea. “It isn’t far to druid territory.”
“Not just yet.” I smiled up at him. “I have something I want to do first.”
Chapter 27
“He’s gone, yes, but not dead.” Harry, his arm in a sling, glared at me.
“What more do you want?” I shrugged my shoulders. “You took out his army, as you knew you must eventually. Philip has no support. He has no allies left. And the Acadamh is in disarray, they are still searching for a way forward. The Monarchists have a chance to fight for a different future.”
Harry sank into silence, his eyes fixed on Daiman.
Daiman only raised his eyebrows and settled back in his seat.
The tent flap blew open, and the sounds of laughter and music filtered into the tent from nearby.
The Acadamh might be in mourning, but the Monarchists rejoiced. Despite Harry’s worry, Philip was gone and his army was defeated.
And, of course, they believed that Terric was dead.
Harry sighed. “You could be our leader,” he said grudgingly to me.
“I could,” I agreed. “But it would be a terrible idea. I think the Monarchists and the Separatists need something more than Nicola Beaumont versus the Delaneys again. Terric is gone, Philip is gone. Let other people rise to take their places. You must know of someone who could be the leader the Monarchists need.”
“A few people,” Harry murmured. “None … quite right.”
“’The times tend to forge the leaders,’” Daiman quoted. “Or so druids say. Someone unremarkable may rise to prominence in a time of need. It is not uncommon.”
“Let us hope you are right.” Harry’s look was not entirely friendly, but much to my relief, he didn’t seem to want to start a fight, either.
He looked at the tent flap again, as if trying to see the celebration.
“But what to do?” he murmured to himself.
“You’re at the end of your life,” Daiman said bluntly.
Harry’s head jerked back and he stared at Daiman in shock.
“You know it, I know it. Let’s not make a fuss over it.” Daiman lifted his shoulders. “The question is, what do you want to do before you die? What path do you want to see your people on?”
Harry considered this, and I had the sense that this conversation was for them, and not for me. I touched Daiman’s shoulder gently and mouthed I’m going outside. He nodded, and I slipped away as Harry thought.
I looked at the fire, where figures were silhouetted against the flames. Some of the Monarchists sat together, and others seemed to be alone.
Grieving, I thought. I picked out Lawrence’s shape, and slipped away into the darkness before he could look up and see me. He had already tried to corner me once and tell me not to trust Daiman.
Nothing was going to convince him otherwise. He was stuck in the past, remembering what I had been, hating a version of the Separatists that only half existed.
I didn’t think he would be the leader Harry needed … but I would be surprised if he didn’t turn out to be one of the most vocal people in the new coalition. I wondered how that would turn out, and could only shake my head.
Part of why I had walked away from the tent was to give Daiman and Harry time together, yes. But part of it had been because it was still too difficult to resist the pull of old habits. I wanted to fix things. I wanted to find a solution now and try to arrange the world to fit it immediately.
But even that wasn’t all of why I had left.
I looked around, making sure no one was watching me as I slipped into the domhan fior.
It was night in the Burren, and the lightning storm I had chained was still raging nearby. I checked the cage I had put on it, strengthening wards and bonds. I had come back a few days after leaving Terric there, and had built something stronger to keep the storm contained.
The storm roared at me.
“You know I don’t speak that.” I was grinning. “And you also know you’re not getting anywhere with your escape attempts. I don’t really care. Stay as clouds forever if you want.”
I had turned and was walking back toward the camp when I heard my name. I stopped, looking back over my shoulder. I could just see the shape of a man in my peripheral vision.
“Nicola,” he said again.
I waited.
“What do you want with me?”
I turned, and smiled. He was battered and bruised, a manifestation of hurling himself against the bars of the cage I had built.
“Oh, Philip.” I smiled sweetly at him, and crossed my arms over my chest. “I want so very many things. Where should I start?”
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<3, Nat