The air of the late-May night, still tainted with the scent of smoke, played upon her nose. Perhaps I was dreaming. She rolled over in the bed and stretched her arm to where Hugh usually lay, only to find it cool and empty. She wondered how long it would be before he returned to her side. Sunday, tomorrow, was his busiest day of the week, and she was sure he’d be done in.
Then she thought about Cedric. Give him grace, Lord, to hold on, and if it is his appointed time, may he go in peace. Berdie found herself drifting back to sleep. That is, until a muted bang and clipped steps on the stairs told her Hugh had come in. She focused to bring herself back into the moment.
The bedroom door opened. Berdie could feel the presence of the man she’d loved for nearly thirty years even before her eyes became little slits to see the night-light-etched outline of his body.
He moved through the motions of discarding his day garments somewhat laboriously and slipped into his pajama bottoms.
Berdie pushed the pillow she slept on against the headboard and raised her upper body to lean her back against it. Her headache was dissipating. She rubbed an eye.
“Oh, sorry, love, did I wake you?” Hugh stepped to the bed.
“Not really.” She yawned. “You must be absolutely shattered.”
“The hospital staff urged me to go home and get a couple hours of sleep. Loren said he’d call if there was any change in Cedric’s condition.”
“Good.”
“Did you locate the commander’s daughter?”
“As it happens, she’s a friend of Tillie. Yes, I rang her, only to get her voicemail.” Berdie lifted the duvet. “I told her to call right away due to a family emergency. She could ring anytime.”
Hugh eased himself into the bed and under the duvet. He winced.
“Done in, love?”
“I’ve certainly had better days, but then at least I’m here to tell you that.”
“Indeed. As much as I care for Cedric, I’m so glad it wasn’t you.” Berdie ran her hand up and down Hugh’s arm.
“Rollie’s going to the hospital, in a couple hours actually, to stay with Cedric. All through tomorrow as well if needed, or is that all through today?”
Hugh eased his back against the headboard and released a slight moan.
“Lean forward, my mighty oarsman,” Berdie commanded.
“What?”
She placed her hands on the back of his shoulders and began a circular movement. She could feel tension from an emotionally draining task mingled with stiff, over-exercised muscles all across his back.
Hugh let go a low sigh as he slumped forward.
Berdie tried to massage into his flesh with her palms as much as she could manage, being half awake in the wee small hours.
“I hope Goodnight didn’t get up your nose too much,” Hugh drawled. His drooping head moved up and down with each push of her palms.
“When does he not? He said your urgent call this afternoon was a hoax to catch you out.”
“I don’t know, Berdie. It sounded like real people with real problems.”
Berdie moved her fingers down his arms in rhythmic pulses.
“All I got on the phone was the name of Bryant, and that they lived in the cottage just next the Cathcart Carlisle farm off Old Barn Road. I felt such a fool when I knocked at the door and found the Georgeson family on the other side of it watching TV. They had no idea what I was on about.” He sighed. “I kept asking myself if I may have missed something in the directions, and then when I arrived at St. Matthew’s…”
“The investigative team believes too that the call was a ruse to get you out and away.”
“As much as I detest the whole idea of such a thing, it does smack of a planned deception.”
Berdie paused her fingers. “If the commander was the target, how could they know he would volunteer to drive the people carrier in your place?”
“He accompanied me to the club for several days on the trot, even drove the vehicle yesterday. It’s a part of his leadership nature to take over. He enjoys being with the children.” Hugh barely shook his limp head. “Unless they had a sighting, I really don’t know.”
“A sighting,” Berdie said under her breath and returned her rotating grip to Hugh’s shoulders. “Doug tried to warn the commander when Sparks sat down near the vehicle.”
“The dog’s nose must be half functioning.” Hugh yawned. “I doubt Cedric trusted Sparks’s damaged sniffer, but Doug was right to sound an alarm.”
“It seems I’m the only one who didn’t know the animal was in the military.”
“You exaggerate.” Hugh’s head bobbed.
“Do you think there’s any chance Chad could be a suspect in all this?”
“Chad?” Hugh paused. “I know it looks bad, Berdie, but I don’t think Chad could…I mean, he wouldn’t be the same man if…he’s impulsive, yes, but premeditated…” Hugh’s words trailed off until Berdie massaged an apparently tender spot between his shoulders and he flinched.
“Sorry, love.” Berdie patted his now-warm back. “Time to sleep, I should think.”
Hugh pulled his head up, turned, and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. Then without a word, he slid down to place his head on the pillow.
Berdie lay down beside him and snuggled close. Glad her man was home and next to her, she could feel herself drifting off already, until she became aware of a cry, like the cry that first awoke her earlier. It became louder. She rustled. It came again, but louder, until it became obvious someone was calling out in need. She felt Hugh jerk into consciousness.
“Berdie?”
“Yes, I heard it too.” Berdie decided to pursue the source. “You stay still, love. I’ll see to it.”
“Sure?” barely eked from Hugh’s lips.
Berdie got out of bed, grabbed her robe, and put it on as she padded toward the bedroom door. When she flung open the aged oak wood, the plea she heard wasn’t coming from outside at all. It seemed as if it came from the direction of the hall.
Doug’s bedroom door was just slightly ajar. A beam of soft light spilled cross the dark hall’s wooden floor.
“It’s OK, Dad.” Tillie’s voice was just audible.
“Call in. We need fire power,” Doug yelled.
Berdie rapped on the door with her knuckles. “What goes on?”
She heard movement, and Tillie slipped into the doorway. Doug, who was sitting up in his bed, was just barely visible. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Elliott, did we wake you?”
“What’s happening, Tillie?”
“Don’t worry. I can take care of him. He’s just a bit overwrought.”
Doug let go a chilling scream, leaned forward, and covered his head with his arms.
Tillie left the doorway, still just open, and hurried to the bed’s edge, where she sat and put her hands on Doug’s shoulders. “Dad, you’re OK.”
Berdie could see, when Doug glanced at his daughter, how his eyes flared, almost glazed. He swallowed hard. Beads of sweat made his forehead glisten. “Watch out,” he barely whispered.
“Doug?” Berdie stepped into the room.
“No, no, get on,” he screamed at the top of his voice. “Go, go, go.” He pushed Tillie’s hand from his shoulder.
“Father, please.” Tillie’s plea was anguished as she stood.
Berdie moved to stand by the bed.
“Mrs. Elliott, what are you doing?” Tillie implored.
“This has happened before?”
Tillie didn’t speak. She pursed her lips so tightly their soft pink went almost white.
Doug looked into Berdie’s face. Fear, that’s what she read in his tired blue eyes, fear and panic. Fear and panic from another time and place.
She bent down close to him and put her hand on his arm. “Doug, it’s Berdie, Berdie Elliott.”
An apparent light of faint recognition danced into his frightful stare as he slid his arms from his head.
“You’re in our old vicarage, safe as houses.”
&
nbsp; “Is everything all right?” Hugh now stood at the fully opened door.
“No,” Tillie snapped. “There’s already too many in the room. It makes him uneasy.”
“Captain Elliott.” Doug gazed at Hugh and began a military salute, but stopped. He eyed Hugh up and down as if just recognizing there was no uniform, no epaulets, no shouted commands. Just Reverend Hugh Elliott, standing before him in his dressing gown.
He redirected his gaze to Berdie, and then flushed.
“Doug.” Berdie clasped his hand.
He gave a quick nod, his blond hair moist upon his forehead, and dropped his chin.
Berdie let go his hand, stood, and Hugh came near. He placed a hand on Doug’s shoulder. “You’re a good man, Douglas Devlin. Now try to get some sleep.”
Again, Doug nodded and slid down into the bed, lying on his side, facing away from them.
“I’ll get you some more sedatives from the bathroom chest, Dad.” Tillie pulled the duvet up round Doug’s shoulders. She bent low to his ear. “Love you, Daddy.”
Hugh took Berdie’s hand and gently guided her back out into the hall. Tillie followed behind.
“He’s terribly embarrassed, to the point of shame.” Tillie blinked as wet gathered in her eyes.
“He needn’t feel that way,” Berdie assured. “Many of our bravest soldiers suffer in such a way.”
“Well, it’s a wretched pity. Life should never take this course.” Tillie’s words bit into the dark. Then she eyed them. “You needn’t tell anyone about this?”
“Tillie, all who have served in wartime, to some degree or another, share in combat fatigue.” Hugh’s voice was certain, despite his sleep deprivation.
“Nonetheless, it’s no business of anyone else. He’s been doing quite well, actually, until all that happened today.” Tillie lifted her chin as if struggling to rise above it all.
“Discretion is a churchman’s promise,” Hugh confirmed.
How could you simply pass by the situation at hand with a simple promise for discretion? Berdie wanted to know more about Doug’s health, about Tillie’s wellbeing. She glanced at Hugh and had the sense he saw the inquisitiveness in her eyes.
“Come along, Berdie.” Hugh squeezed her hand. “Let Tillie get on with her care.” He smiled gently at the young woman. “If you need any assistance, you know where we are. Otherwise, we’ll see you in the morning then.”
Hugh moved Berdie along with him to their bedroom entrance.
“Oh, Reverend Elliott, how’s Cedric?” Tillie questioned.
“I’m afraid his condition hasn’t changed.” Hugh sighed. “I wish I had better news for you. I’ll let you know the moment I hear anything, Tillie.”
Once in the bedroom, Hugh closed the door.
Berdie couldn’t help herself. “There’s so much left unsaid about Doug’s situation, Hugh.”
“I understand.” Hugh undid his dressing-robe belt. “And doubtless you will find out all about it.” He took off the garment. “You and Tillie will have a confidential discussion, over a warming cup of tea, in the light of day, Berdie, when Tillie brings the matter into your conversation.”
Hugh did have a point. Approaching 4 AM may not be the best time to discuss such things. After all, she and Tillie were under the same roof. They would have some time together. She would see to that.
“Let’s try to make the best of the minutes we have left to sleep. Busy day tomorrow. Or rather, a busy day today.” Hugh got into bed and patted the spot next to him.
Berdie removed her dressing robe and threw it on the end of the bed. She scrambled under the covers and nuzzled close to Hugh again.
In no time at all, Hugh was asleep.
Berdie had to work at getting past her curious nature that wanted answers to her questions right now. Had Doug received any treatment for what Berdie recognized as posttraumatic stress syndrome? How serious was it? How often was he sedated? Did his injury cloud his reasoning? And then there was Tillie. Had she received any support as his caregiver? Finally, of course, Berdie struggled to consider if there was really anything she could do to help. There was so much to sift through and consider in all the goings-on, but it just somehow seemed beyond her. In very little time, the warmth of Hugh’s body captured her will to inquire, her brain waved the white flag, and slumber was a gracious victor.
****
The clear swell of the church bell beckoned Berdie on as she made way across the front garden to the edifice of faith, not more than a hundred yards from the vicarage.
Her most comfortable skirt required little to be fit for a Sunday morning, likewise her silk blouse that felt like cream on her skin. Just the thing after experiencing a frenzied day and distressing night. What wasn’t just the thing was the headache that was back.
Berdie’s nose picked up the scent of bacon, no doubt some nearby fortunate person’s breakfast. And quite frankly, she would have loved to join them, not having had but a quick piece of toast. But she had another task at the moment, to nourish her needy soul.
She moved forward, and the ringing peals brought fresh thoughts, despite her brain still feeling painful and fuzzy.
For hundreds of years, when this bell sounded, fieldworkers dropped their tools, women busy in the kitchens of their meager homes interrupted their tasks, and the whole of the community answered the call to assemble. The gathering was to set aside uninterrupted moments for prayer and worship to the God who gave their lives meaning and hope. Though few could read back then, stained-glass windows told stories of miracles, sacrifice, judgment, and holy lives that lifted and inspired. It was a stolen moment of time to leave the world of everyday life behind. For a few blessed moments, they could enjoy the Divine promise of a better world to come, and restore their present strength.
Was it that much different now, today? After yesterday’s events, if ever a community needed renewal and restoration, this would be the time.
“Good morning, Mrs. Elliott.” Maggie Fairchild zipped the greeting and entered the church with four others unfamiliar to Berdie.
In the far corner of the church acreage with tape and tent, all the paraphernalia of a crime-scene investigation were in place. A few parishioners hung about near the spot, peering and peeking as if to satisfy some morbid curiosity. Tillie and Doug were among them, but Berdie had neither time nor inclination just now to be a part of it. Curiosity would probably mean a full house at church.
Hugh stood at the entrance of the twelfth-century building, whose windows had held up well despite the recent blast.
“You made it then,” Hugh greeted. His usual vibrancy was tinged with lack of sleep.
“Just.” A quick nod and Berdie eased past the young acolytes, lads dressed in choir gear.
“I’ll bet you a candy bar I’ll light my candle before you,” one of them challenged the other.
Berdie hoped some of their energy might rub off on her, though it seemed unlikely.
Inside, there were few empty seats. She finally came to rest at a back pew on the far side of the nave. Only the uninterested or very late sat in this spot, because there was a large column that obstructed the view of the lectern and altar. Nonetheless, it was the vacant spot, so this was her place to roost for this morning.
On the far edge of the row at the central aisle, she spotted the white-haired Batty Natty and her caregiver niece, Sandra, who wore her lovely yellow gingham dress. It showed off Sandra’s rich brown eyes and flattered her near-forty-year-old form.
When Mr. Castle, the church organist, began the voracious pounding out of notes announcing the processional, Berdie jumped, a reaction blamed on recent events and a broken night of rest.
“Mrs. Elliott.” Mrs. Hall, who sat next her, was clad in a pink rolled-brim hat that drew attention to her rather large camel-like eyes. She offered to share an open hymnal with Berdie as the first notes of “Soldiers of Christ, Arise” sounded from the congregation.
“Thank you,” Berdie offered rather sheepishly.
Berdie caught movement out of the corner of her eye, only to see Tillie bring Doug in his wheelchair to a halt next to Sandra at the far end of the row. Tillie set the brake on his chair, and as quickly as she entered, departed, leaving Doug on his own.
Sandra, like Mrs. Hall, offered her open hymn book to Doug, who took hold of it with her, giving a nod and a smile.
As the hymn ended and the service continued, Berdie found herself staring at the pillar, which she had already scrutinized in detail. She blinked rapidly, hoping the flutter may exercise her concentration into vitality.
“The Lord is my refuge,” arose from beyond the pillar.
Who was doing the first Scripture reading? Berdie didn’t recognize the voice that sounded flat as a board. She tried to move her head, craning her neck, to a place where she could see the reader. But then she got right in Mrs. Hall’s way.
“Sorry.” Berdie pulled her head, like a tortoise, back to its shell.
She looked down the row, as unobtrusively as possible, to see Doug and Sandra sharing a Bible, reading the lesson together.
Rarely had Berdie seen anyone following the lesson in a Bible, and certainly never sharing with someone. Doug caught Berdie’s eye and gave her a rather large grin and returned to reading. Well, Berdie thought to herself. Well, well.
Back to her attempted listening. It wasn’t but a few moments and several goes at repositioning her body that she peeked Doug’s way again. A hint of grin still graced his mouth as he glanced at Sandra, who glanced back at him and smiled.
Now Berdie grinned. Despite an interrupted night of rest, it seemed Doug had his attention piqued, but it wasn’t the service. Apparently, warm fires glow in our cool stone church.
Though it gave her a momentary distraction, she knew she couldn’t stare or watch for long.
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