Winnie bites her lower lip. “So you’re saying it’s serious?”
I glance at Josie, who looks back at me expectantly. “Yeah.” I put my arm around Josie’s shoulders. “It could go somewhere.”
Josie’s face lights up with her smile, gazing into my eyes. My heart swells. She turns to Winnie, so I do too. I hope Winnie can take the hint that there’s no point in hanging around. I’m never going to be with her.
Winnie scowls at Josie. “You’re supposed to be on my side, not stabbing me in the back.”
Josie replies calmly, “You’re engaged to another man.”
I fill her in on the latest under my breath. “They broke up.”
Josie inclines her head and goes on. “I know it’s a little awkward—”
“A little awkward?” Winnie echoes. “It’s horrible. So what, now I’m going to have to see you two sucking face every Thanksgiving and Christmas?”
Josie lifts her chin. “If you wanted him, why did you leave him in the first place?”
Winnie crosses her arms, hugging herself. “I was confused. Colin turned my head with all the lavish gifts and extravagant trips.”
“Sounds like money turned your head,” Josie says quietly.
Dead silence. That was harsh. True but harsh.
Winnie presses her lips together for a long moment before finally saying, “I want you both out. This is my place, and I’m moving back in.”
“You can’t move into a construction zone,” I say. “Be reasonable.”
“Did Colin kick you out?” Josie asks.
“No. He still has his apartment near work.”
Josie crosses to her, putting her hand on her arm. “Let Sean finish the job. Then you can sell at a profit and buy a cute place of your own to start fresh.”
Winnie bursts into tears.
“Oh, Winnie.” Josie tries to put her arms around her, but Winnie jerks away and races out the door.
Josie turns back to me. “I need to make sure she’s okay.”
I lift a hand in acknowledgment. I expected nothing less. She told me before Winnie was like a big sister to her growing up. Still, I hope it doesn’t take too long. This is supposed to be my special night with Josie. Our last night before she goes away for the first time since we met.
~ ~ ~
Josie
I have to run in my black pumps, which slows me down as I go after Winnie. She’s racing down the block toward the park. I finally catch up when she collapses on a bench and drops her head in her hands, her shoulders heaving. Oh God. I feel terrible. I’ve never seen Winnie sobbing like this before.
“Winnie,” I say softly, taking the seat next to her, “I love you. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“Go away.”
“Come on, you’ve always been there for me. Let me be here for you. Are you crying over Sean or Colin?”
“Both!”
“Do you want me to stop seeing Sean?”
She lifts her head. Her eyes and nose are red. “Would you?”
I hesitate before admitting the truth. “No.”
“He loves you.” Her voice sounds choked. “I can tell by the way he looks at you.”
My heart races, my cheeks flushing. “I hope so because I’m falling for him too. I’m so sorry it didn’t work out like you hoped with Colin. What happened?”
She fills me in on the man who cares more about money and status than her, and I can’t say that I’m surprised. He’s cool and calculating, and it was obvious those things meant a lot to him. I just hoped Winnie didn’t fall into that status category. She works in an art gallery for decent pay, but she’s never been rich. Maybe he saw her as someone to mold into the perfect status-symbol wife. Who requests new boobs for his bride before the wedding? Asshat.
“Win, he doesn’t deserve you. That’s just not right the way he treated you.”
Winnie takes in a deep quivering breath. “I’m pregnant.”
“Omigod! Does Colin know?”
“No.” She puts a hand on her flat stomach, gazing down at it. “I just found out today. I want to keep the baby, and I’ve been trying to figure out what to do about Colin.”
I’m not surprised she wants to keep the baby. She’s thirty and was looking forward to marriage and kids. “You have to tell him.”
She bites her quivering lower lip. “I’m afraid he’ll try to get custody. He could afford to hire the best lawyers.”
I’m thinking about lawyers and money when I realize how strange it is that she went to see Sean during this crisis. If she was here to see me, she would’ve let me know she was coming for a visit. And then a truly horrifying thought occurs.
I turn to her. “Did you want Sean to think it was his? Were you going to try to get back together with him and announce you were pregnant a month later? What are you doing here?” My voice gets really loud at the end, but I can’t help it. Sean was the injured party in their relationship and doesn’t deserve any more hurt coming his way.
“I don’t know!” she cries. “The more I thought about Sean, the more I realized how much better he is than Colin. Just a better man all around. He’d be a good father.”
Fury rises in me. “That’s not fair to him!”
“I panicked!” Her shoulders slump, and she shifts away as if I’m a physical threat. “Please don’t yell at me. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m all mixed up and hormonal and scared out of my mind.”
I gentle my voice. “You can’t trick Sean into being a dad.”
She shifts back toward me, clutching her hands in her lap. “It doesn’t matter. I asked him to get back together, and he said no. He doesn’t want me. He wants you.”
Damn. I can’t believe she asked him to get back together while I was right upstairs. Then I remember she didn’t know I was with him, and the indignation leaves me.
I take her in, she’s tense and anxious, and I just feel bad for her. She lost Sean over a much worse choice in partner. I know she made her own bed with that one, but I love her, and she’s in a difficult situation—pregnant, dealing with regrets and the end of the rosy future she dreamed of with Colin. “Okay, let’s just keep Sean out of this picture. I’ll be there for you in any way I can. One step at a time. You’re going to be okay.”
She nods, her eyes welling. “Thank you.”
I hug her, and this time she lets me.
Chapter Eleven
Josie
It wasn’t long before Winnie called her stepmom to arrange a visit. They’re close. Winnie took the subway back to her apartment to pack a bag. I texted Sean right away to let him know we’re still on for dinner, and hurried home. It’s our last night together before I go away for a week.
I tell Sean the deal with Winnie while we wait on the couch for our car to arrive. The restaurant is too far to walk in heels.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he barks. “She was gonna try to trick me into being a dad to a kid that wasn’t mine?”
“I’m not saying it’s right. And she never could’ve pulled it off anyway because you don’t want to be with her.”
“Can ya blame me?”
“No, but in hindsight, she realized her mistake in leaving you. Haven’t you ever done something you regret?”
“No.”
I take his hand and give it a squeeze. “It happens.”
“How can ya be so forgiving? She tried to evict us both and screw everything up.”
“She’s always been kind to me. I love her, and when you love someone, you cut them some slack.”
He’s quiet for a moment. “So I guess she’s over us being together?”
“I wouldn’t say completely over it, but she’s got bigger fish to fry right now.”
He dips his head and gives me a quick kiss. “I’m glad you dealt with her instead of me. I would’ve just gotten pissed.”
“And rightly so. She’s in good hands with her stepmom, which is probably where she should’ve gone in the first place. She wasn’t thinking str
aight.”
He cradles my cheek, gazing into my eyes. “You’re a good person.”
I smile and place my hand over his. “So are you.”
He looks down at the phone in his hand. “Ride’s here.” He gestures for me to walk ahead of him, and locks up behind us.
After we get in the back seat, he entwines our fingers together, saying in a low voice, “I was a jerk to ya when we first met. I’m sorry about that.”
“You were stressed. And I wouldn’t say a jerk. You weren’t nasty or anything. You were more like a big grump. It was kinda cute, like a grizzly bear with porcupine quills stuck on his butt.”
He laughs. “And here I thought I was some tough badass protector for you when you just saw me as a grumpy bear.”
“Grizzlies are still a force to be reckoned with if you cross them. I never crossed you. I only helped.”
“You tried to help,” he says with a smile.
“Same thing.”
He rocks his head side to side. “Not exactly. Now I’m not saying it wasn’t well intentioned, but sometimes you made more work for me because you don’t know what you’re doing.”
“Well, no one said I was an expert in home renovations.”
“Now that I’m looking at the end of the project, I’m actually glad you were here. You were the best kind of distraction.”
“Aww, my grizzly is really a teddy bear. I knew it all along.”
“Hey, none of this teddy bear stuff. I’ve got a rep, ya know.”
I squeeze his hand. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret love of rom-coms just between us.”
“That was a joke.”
“I watched you instead of the movie that night, so don’t even try it. Pure enjoyment written all over your face.”
One corner of his mouth lifts. “You watched me back then?”
“Yes.”
“Because?”
“Because I study people to better my acting ability. Their body language, their expressions, their tones.”
He nudges me with his shoulder. “You can just admit the real reason. You don’t hafta make it sound like it’s in service to your art.”
I smile up at him. “And what’s the real reason?”
He whispers right in my ear, his voice a deep rumble. “You were hot for me from the beginning.”
“I totally was! But then I said no because of Winnie and because I was going away. But then I didn’t go away, and you seemed to warm to me.”
“Because you didn’t go away.” He kisses my temple and whispers in my ear, “I didn’t want a hookup. That’s not where I’m at.”
A burst of pure happiness radiates through me, making me floaty and light. “I got that feeling.”
He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses it, his blue eyes locked on mine. My heart kicks up speed as something deep passes between us. Emotion clogs my throat, the air buzzing between us. I can’t resist pressing my lips to his, my fingers sliding into the soft hair at the nape of his neck.
When I pull away, he smiles warmly. I’ve never felt so much for anyone before, and it’s overwhelming. “Sean.” My voice cracks.
He nuzzles into my neck, his voice rumbling near my ear. “I’ve got plans for you tonight.”
Part of me just wants to plaster myself against him. It’s crazy this urge I have to get closer to him all the time. But he’s taking me out, so I have to restrain myself. “Can’t wait.”
We don’t speak of anything important for the rest of the ride, but I feel different. Ensconced in a warm cocoon of love with every smile he gives me, his warm tone, his hand on mine.
He smiles and gestures out the window. “Here we are.”
I look out. “It’s in a hotel?”
“Yeah. Top floor with a view of the city.”
“Wow,” I breathe. “This looks amazing.”
A short while later, I step into a large restaurant with a wall of deep red cushioned booths and an array of white tableclothed tables. It’s really elegant with dim lighting from overhead recessed lights, gray walls with framed black-and-white photos, and a clear wall display case of wine. This is what I call a special-occasion place.
Sean checks in with the hostess, giving his name. We’re shown to a cozy corner table right away.
After I’m seated with my napkin on my lap, I lean forward to whisper, “This place is so nice!”
He smiles, and I warm all over. “I wanted something special for you before you go.”
“I’ll be back in a week.”
“I know, but it’s the first time we’ll be separated since you moved in five weeks ago.”
“You keep track of how many weeks I’ve lived there?”
“No. I keep track of my work progress and—” He blows out a breath. “Yeah, okay, I keep track.”
I bite back a smile. “You’re a secret romantic, aren’t you?”
He huffs. “First you call me a teddy bear and now I’m a romantic. Can we go back to when you called me an uber-talented construction worker with a corded neck, broad shoulders, and bulging biceps?”
I can’t help my beaming smile. “You’re the total package, I’m afraid. Embrace it.”
His voice is gruff. “Josie.”
“Yes?” I ask, still smiling.
“So are you.”
My eyes water, my throat suddenly tight. Emotional territory, we’re crossing it.
He reaches across the table for my hand, and I place my hand in his, staring at the way his large work-roughened hand envelopes mine in a warm firm grip. I think I love this man. My eyes meet his, and suddenly I know I do.
I swallow hard. Can I have a relationship with him? Will he be the kind of man who can support my career and deal with the inevitable separations? It’s on my mind because I’m leaving tomorrow for a major audition for a major movie produced by my idol Claire Jordan. Claire said it was best to find a partner who supports my career, who understands the difficulty of a career that requires so much travel for long periods of time. Her husband travels with her. I can’t imagine Sean doing that. He’s so rooted here. He’s co-owner of his family’s construction business, which includes real estate development. It’s not a job he could do virtually. Should I ask him what he thinks about a future with me, or will that ruin everything? Maybe he’ll realize it’s too difficult to be with me and end things. That would be the practical thing to do, and he’s definitely a practical man.
He tilts his head. “What’re ya thinking so hard about?”
The waiter arrives, breaking the moment as he takes our drink order and tells us the specials. I pull my hand from Sean’s, shaken by the direction of my thoughts. I’m not going to blurt out all that deep stuff. It’s too soon, and I don’t want to scare him off. This must be why so many actors get together. They understand what the career demands of them. Of course, those don’t always work out either because of conflicting schedules and who knows what else. It’s hard enough for people to stay together when they’re not separated so much.
“Josie? Where are ya?”
I snap to attention. “Sorry, my mind was wandering.”
“Are ya nervous about your screen test?”
My screen test is Monday morning, and normally I’d spend the entire weekend running through the lines obsessively, a ball of anxious nerves. Instead I’m focused on Sean. Even Winnie’s situation is fading in my mind. That’s bad, right? I’m already losing focus over a man. A wonderful man but still.
“I should go over my lines again,” I say. “As soon as we get back.”
“Maybe not first thing,” he says in a low husky voice. “You did say you get an extra burst of endorphins after being with me. That can only help your performance. Hey, maybe I should go with you and give you a pre-audition orgasm.”
My cheeks flush hot, and I glance around to see if anyone heard. There’s no one right next to our table, so it seems it was just between us. “Would you?”
He leans back in his seat. “I was kidding. Ya know I
have work. I’ve got one more week before inspections and—”
“I was kidding too. Can’t exactly depend on you for a pre-audition boost every time. Ha-ha! What a great job that would be. Why don’t they have those? Pre-audition orgasm support people. That’d really take the edge off.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah, sure, fine.”
The waiter returns and pours a small amount of merlot for us both to taste from the bottle we ordered. After the wine is poured, Sean raises his glass to mine. “To a fantastic screen test. I know you’ll do great.”
I clink my glass to his. “To a winning screen test.” I sip right away because I’m just superstitious enough to believe it’s necessary after putting my wish out into the world.
I take a deep breath and blurt, “You know if I do have a winning screen test, it means I would be in Vancouver for six months.”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now let’s enjoy the moment.”
He sounds so confident and sure that I relax. He said we’ll cross that bridge, which means we’ll work out something mutually agreeable. I think. I’m new at this relationship stuff. I’ve never felt like this before, never truly been in love before. What I had with my college boyfriend was nothing like the intensity of what I have with Sean.
I let it go. I’m good at enjoying the moment and that’s exactly what I’ll do. “This moment sitting here at an elegant restaurant with my sexy gorgeous…” I wait for him to fill in the blank. Boyfriend, say boyfriend. It’s officially a relationship, right?
“Man. The word is man. Do not say teddy bear.”
“My sexy gorgeous manfriend.”
He laughs. “Were you checking if you could call me your boyfriend? Go ahead. I already think of you as my girlfriend.”
A warm glow fills me up to bursting. “Dinner with my sexy gorgeous boyfriend is the moment I’m in, and there’s nothing better than that.”
He leans forward and whispers, “Except for what comes after.” He winks. “You.”
I lean close. “Now you’re going to make me think about sex all through dinner.”
He smirks. “Good. Mission accomplished.”
Dinner goes by in a sparkling blur of delicious food, wine, and sexy man. At least from my side of the table. I’m relaxed and full of affection for my guy.
Rogue Gentleman (The Rourkes, Book 8) Page 12