by Rosina Scott
“You should always be treated like this, Matt. You are a beautiful young man, and you deserve to be worshiped.”
Lucas softly rubbed his thumb against Matt’s chin.
Matt’s eyes lowered, and he subconsciously moved into the caress, his lips parting slowly on a shuddering breath.
He kept his eyes closed as Lucas moved his hand across Matt’s face, gently brushing his fingers against the younger man’s parted lips. Matt moaned at the soft caress, and opening his lips more, he flicked his tongue out as if to taste Lucas. Lucas took a deep breath of his own as Matt’s tongue caressed his fingers. His eyes were drawn to the face of the angel before him. Matt was clearly too frightened to look at him right now. “Matt, will you allow me to worship you in every conceivable way?” Lucas leaned in and set a soft kiss upon Matt’s forehead.
“Please don’t hurt me.” Matt opened his eyes and looked pleadingly into Lucas’s.
“Shhh, I would never hurt you, and I won’t let anyone else hurt you either.” Lucas brushed his lips tenderly against Matt’s. The younger man yielded immediately, allowing Lucas dominance of the kiss. Matt’s lips were so soft and yielding beneath Lucas’s; he gave no resistance as Lucas slid his tongue slowly into Matt’s mouth and gently caressed his tongue. Lucas cradled Matt’s face in his hands, his thumb brushing one cheek, his own eyes closing as the kiss deepened. Matt sighed and leaned into the leather of the booth when Lucas’s lips left his, as if Lucas had left him breathless. “Let’s get you a drink,” Lucas said finally, smiling at Matt when the photographer reached up a trembling hand to touch his lips, where only moments earlier Lucas’s had been.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll be right back.” Lucas climbed out of the booth and made his way over to the bar, leaving Matt alone to his thoughts.
MATT looked up uneasily at Lucas when he returned with their drinks. He could still feel the tingling in his lips from the kiss they had shared. He lowered his eyes while he waited for Lucas to say something to him, something he knew would shatter the happiness he was feeling after so many years alone.
“Hey, why the long face?” Lucas asked, setting the glass down in front of Matt.
“It’s nothing, really, just me being silly.” Matt reached out with a trembling hand for his glass. His nerves were getting the better of him, and he wasn’t able to stop the glass from toppling over when he reached for it. “God, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Matt whispered as he tried to mop up the spilled liquor. He flinched when Lucas reached out, pressing his body against the corner of the booth, fearing that Lucas was going to strike him.
“Hey, it’s all right, it was an accident. There’s no harm done.” Lucas mopped the table with the napkins provided.
“Shhh, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.” Lucas sounded sincere, but Matt couldn’t help but cower in his seat, waiting for the impending assault.
LUCAS felt his heart breaking at the way Matt cowered over such a simple accident. He knew now there was more to Matt than he had first seen. Someone had clearly conditioned him to react the way he was now, and they had broken the young man with their treatment.
Lucas reached out to take Matt’s hand in his and brought it slowly up to his lips so he could kiss the knuckles softly. He heard Matt’s intake of breath and knew that wasn’t what he had been expecting.
“I’m sorry. I’m not meant to do this.” Matt closed his eyes and gently pulled his hand free. “Lucas, please just let me go. You don’t deserve me. I’m not good enough for you or anyone else.” Matt stood and started to climb over Lucas to get out of the booth.
“Who told you that? Who broke you, Matt?” Lucas took Matt’s hand when Matt brushed against him.
“I… I can’t.” Matt pulled on Lucas’s hand, trying to get free.
“Sit down and talk to me,” Lucas said sternly. He was shocked when Matt immediately sat down where he was, which happened to be upon Lucas’s knees. His head lowered and his body instantly relaxed as he stopped struggling to get away.
Matt sighed when Lucas’s hand brushed against his chin and lifted his head so Lucas could look at him. Tears spilled down the younger man’s cheeks, tears Lucas just didn’t understand.
“Please tell me what happened to you. Please let me in, let me help you.” Lucas brushed his fingers against Matt’s cheeks, wiping away the tears that stained them.
“Why waste your time with someone like me? I’m just a broken whore who can’t get anything right,” Matt said, watching Lucas’s eyes. Lucas could tell he was trying to judge his reaction.
“Matt, you are not a whore. Do you hear me?” Lucas insisted, shaking him slightly. He could see from Matt’s tormented expression that he didn’t believe what Lucas was telling him. “Please, just tell me what happened to you.”
“You don’t want to know my problems; you’re a big star, and you don’t need someone like me in your life. You don’t need a broken toy-boy to keep your bed warm.”
“Just fucking tell me,” Lucas said, losing his temper at the fire in Matt’s eyes as he put himself down.
“You’ll want to fuck me first, because you aren’t going to want to after I’ve told you my dirty secrets.” Matt tugged the zipper of his jeans down and pulled his cock out, grabbing Lucas’s hand and pressing it against his organ.
“For fuck’s sake, stop it. I don’t want to do it this way.”
Lucas growled as he pulled his hand away and watched Matt dress again.
“You won’t want to do it at all in a minute.” Matt closed his eyes, clearly embarrassed at what he had just done. “I’m sorry, Lucas.”
“Please, just tell me what happened. I really want to help you.” Lucas reached up and caressed his cheek softly.
“Please, Matt.”
“I was seventeen when I met Aran. He picked me up out of art school, telling me that he could make me an actor, and that was all I wanted at the time. At first he was nice to me, and he gave me everything I wanted. Then when I was eighteen, he started to hurt me. He used to bring men home and make videos of me with them, telling me that it would get my face out there as an actor.” Matt took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes. Lucas wrapped his hands around Matt’s hips, gently rubbing them in a calming manner. “Lucas, he would beat me after, saying I was nothing but a whore. He hurt me so badly.”
“Hey, shhh, it’s okay, it’s all right. He can’t hurt you anymore. I won’t let him,” Lucas told him as he ran a soothing hand against his back.
“Lucas, he can’t hurt me ever again, because I murdered him.” Matt tried to move from Lucas’s lap. “I… I killed h-him.” Matt sobbed, his arms instantly going around Lucas’s shoulders as he hugged him tightly.
“Shhh, it’s all right,” Lucas told him, kissing the top of his head. I can’t believe him capable of something as callous as murder. But then, if even half of what he’s told me he suffered is true—not that I have any reason not to believe him given his response to a simple spilled drink—I can hardly blame him for his actions against the monster that reduced him to this shell of a man.
“He t-tried to push me off the balcony, Lucas, he raped me and then tried to kill me because I made friends with a young art student.” Matt trembled in Lucas’s arms. “When h-he tried t-to p-push m-me, I pulled him w-with me. I pulled him over the railing.”
“Shhh, it’s okay. It’s all over now, he can’t hurt you, and I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.” I’d have done the same in his position to ensure the bastard couldn’t hurt anyone else ever again. How anyone could force themselves on him just because of a friendship I can’t understand, he gives his love and affection so freely.
“Please, can you take me home?” Matt asked quietly, though he seemed afraid to break the secure embrace of Lucas’s arms.
“Of course. Come on, let’s get you home.”
Lucas held the trembling young man in his arms while they sat in the back of the taxicab, stroking the young man’s ba
ck while Matt clung to him as if his life depended on the contact. He’d only just managed to get Matt’s address out of him before Matt clammed up once more; he was scared, that much was certain. Clearly Matt had hidden all this inside for years, and it had been eating him alive from the inside out.
The drive back to Matt’s apartment was a long one, as Matt lived on the other side of town. Lucas wondered if that was his choice or not. Maybe it was as far away as he could get from his former life.
During the drive, Matt relaxed and fell into a light sleep, leaning against Lucas. Lucas smiled as he looked down at the beautiful face that seemed to show no signs of the trauma of his former life. He was just sweet and innocent Matt; the only sign that anything could harm or had harmed him were the still-visible tear tracks on his cheeks.
Lucas sighed as he felt the car stop at Matt’s apartment.
He gently brushed his hand against Matt’s cheek, bringing him out of his slumber.
“You’re home,” Lucas said, answering the unasked question in Matt’s eyes.
“Will you stay tonight?” Matt asked as he sat up and rubbed his eyes tiredly. “That is, if you still want anything to do with me.”
“Shhh, of course I still want to be around you. I’ll stay if that’s what you truly want, but Matt, I don’t want to pressure you into anything,” Lucas told him, opening the door so they could get out.
MATT followed Lucas closely, his heart still beating faster than usual at the prospect of taking a man, even one as kind as Lucas seemed to be, into his home. He still had nightmares about Aran and what had happened to him when they were together, was still afraid that he’d be hurt in the same way again; but now, five years later, he longed for companionship once more.
Matt hugged himself as he stood on the pavement at the foot of the stairs to his apartment, waiting for Lucas to join him. Lucas paid the cab driver and then walked over to Matt and smiled as he started to follow him up the steps.
When they reached Matt’s floor, he took his keys out of his pocket, but his hands trembled when he tried to open the lock. He dropped the keys and blushed when Lucas knelt down and picked them up.
“Don’t worry, Matt, it’s okay. I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me to do,” Lucas told him while he unlocked the door.
“Please excuse the mess.” Matt opened the door and saw that his coffee table was littered with photos from the shoot he’d been working on earlier.
“It’s all right, they’re just photos. They’re not mess,”
Lucas told him, walking over to the sofa.
“You know, I don’t always leave them out, but I really wanted to check over the shoot.”
“It’s fine, really. I understand. Wow, these are amazing.”
Lucas picked up a few of the photos of himself from that morning’s session. “You really have a good eye with a camera,” Lucas told him. Matt walked over and began to gather the photos up, wanting to put them away.
“These look truly stunning in black and white. Are these two shots for your collection?” Lucas asked. The two shots only showed the upper half of his body, but Matt had taken them at the moment Lucas had made himself come, capturing the blissful expression on the actor’s face. Matt blushed at Lucas’s knowing smile, hurriedly packing the other photos into a box and clutching it against his chest.
“May I have my photos, please?” Matt asked quietly, trying not to stare at Lucas.
“Sure. I’m not going to keep them.” Lucas handed the black and white photographs over quickly, making Matt wonder if he could see the fear in Matt’s eyes.
“I’m going to bed now. Please feel free to sleep on the couch.” Matt backed away as Lucas moved to touch his cheek gently.
“You aren’t ready for this, Matt. I think maybe I should go home.” Lucas lowered his hand and began to move away from the small table, heading toward the door.
“Lucas, please don’t leave me alone tonight,” Matt said in a small, pleading voice.
“Hey, it’s all right. I’ll stay if that’s what you truly want.”
Lucas walked over to Matt and reached up to touch his cheek. Matt allowed the touch this time. Leaning into Lucas’s hand, he smiled weakly as Lucas stroked his cheek with his thumb.
“Would you hold me until I fall asleep?” Matt looked up at Lucas through lowered eyelashes, still afraid that Lucas would harm him. Although he wanted to trust the older man, he was still wary of him.
“That would be nice. I will if that is truly what you want.” Lucas looked at Matt and smiled.
“It is. Please, I’m tired.” Matt took Lucas’s hand in his before he turned and walked toward his bedroom.
In contrast to the jumble of photos in the front room, the bedroom was clean and tidy. The room was sparsely decorated with only a few essential items lining the cream-colored walls. The furniture was made of pine, and the soft furnishings were of a stunning blue silk. Lucas walked over to the bed with Matt and started to remove his clothes.
Matt bit his lower lip, watching Lucas closely as he began to undress. He couldn’t help staring as Lucas exposed his honeyed skin. It had been so long since he had been near anyone as stunning as Lucas. He blushed when he saw Lucas looking at him while he began to unfasten his jeans.
Lucas stood and walked around to Matt’s side of the bed. He reached up and gently caressed Matt’s cheek, as if letting him know he wouldn’t hurt him. Matt closed his eyes and leaned into Lucas’s arms.
“I can keep them on if it would make you more comfortable,” Lucas told him, clearly able to feel Matt trembling in his arms.
“I would like that, thank you.” Matt looked up at Lucas and smiled at the warm expression in Lucas’s azure depths.
Lucas leaned down and brushed his lips softly against Matt’s. Matt opened his lips to allow the kiss to deepen.
Lucas’s tongue stroked his gently as it explored the inside of his mouth.
Matt sighed as he was kissed; he could feel his insides melting as Lucas caressed his back while the other hand cradled his cheek. Lucas’s thumb gently stroked his cheekbone while he moved away slightly, sucking a bit on Matt’s bottom lip before moving in to deepen the kiss once more.
Matt whimpered when Lucas ended the kiss and smiled.
Matt lowered his head, feeling the blush rise on his cheeks.
Lucas moved his fingers down beneath Matt’s chin and tilted Matt’s face upward so he could look at him. “You shouldn’t hide, Matt. You’re very beautiful.”
“Lucas, please, you don’t have to say that to me. I’ve already invited you into my bed. You don’t have to sweet-talk me.” Matt slipped out of Lucas’s arms and moved over toward the bed. He sat down and began to slowly undress.
“I’m not just saying that to get you into bed. It’s true, you really are beautiful,” Lucas told him as he watched Matt pull off his T-shirt, exposing his toned body and the small star tattoo on his stomach.
Matt couldn’t stop the nervous tremble at Lucas’s closeness as he stood up and began to unfasten his black jeans, knowing he was naked below them. As if sensing his unease, Lucas moved around to the other side of the bed, kicked off his shoes and socks, and sat down. Turning his back, Matt slipped the jeans down his slim hips, over his taut buttocks, and off.
Matt bent down to retrieve his discarded clothes and crossed to the chair beside his wardrobe to set them down.
He blushed as he looked up and saw Lucas watching his every move. He could see that Lucas had noticed his cock as it bobbed between his legs. Matt moved over to the chest of drawers, pulled out a pair of black silk boxer shorts, and slipped them on. He took a shuddering breath as he walked over to join Lucas in the bed. Matt pulled down the comforter before sliding beneath the blue silk. He closed his eyes briefly as he felt Lucas move beside him, opening them again when Lucas stroked his fingers through his dark curls.
“Matt, you are the most beautiful man I have ever met. I don’t know how anyone could ever dream of hurtin
g you,”
Lucas told him. Matt rolled over onto his side so that he was facing away from Lucas.
“Please don’t,” Matt said in a whisper. He closed his eyes and felt the chill run up his spine from memories of his former life.
“I’M SORRY. I shouldn’t have said that.” Lucas slid beneath the comforter and moved so he was pressed against Matt’s back. He could feel how tense Matt still was, yet also the warmth of the young man’s flesh through Lucas’s jeans and against his chest. He reached out and ran his hand against Matt’s arm, trying to soothe him as he inhaled Matt’s soft, musky scent. Lucas could tell after a few minutes of gentle caresses that Matt had relaxed; in fact, he had relaxed so much that Lucas could hear the soft breathing telling him Matt had fallen asleep in his arms. He smiled to himself as he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Matt’s shoulder before settling into the pillows so he could get some sleep It was several hours before Lucas fell asleep, watching the young man at his side. He still couldn’t get it through his head how anyone could want to hurt someone like Matt. He knew that he wanted to help the younger man face his demons, to help him love again. He would do anything in his power to make Matt smile once more. Make him see that he’d been mistreated and that not everyone was like Aran.
Lucas woke late the following morning. He instantly looked for the young man he knew he had fallen asleep with, but Matt was nowhere to be seen. His clothes were missing from the chair where he had placed them the night before.
Lucas got up and padded into the sitting room. He stopped in the doorway when he saw Matt sitting on the bearskin rug, his brown curls tousled from sleep. He was barefoot and sipping coffee from a mug as he leaned over the small coffee table, looking at an assortment of photographs.
Lucas took a deep breath while he watched the way Matt fingered the prints. Matt was in a world of his own when he was with his photographs. He looked so relaxed and at ease with himself as he set his coffee down on the table before picking up one of the prints to take a closer look at it.