by Anthology
I shifted to get out of bed and my head pounded harder. Aspirin. There would need to be a lot of aspirin and greasy burritos in the near future. I’d have to hit up that Mexican buffet on the main deck. Maybe the pizza shack as well. Anything to get this queasiness in my stomach to subside.
My tolerance for hard alcohol had diminished since freshman and sophomore year of college. I’d tapered off this year, getting ready for exams, and now I was paying for the prolonged sobriety. How the hell had I done this on a week night with eight a.m. classes the next morning? Oh yeah, apparently I had a liver of Superman proportions. Hell, the churning in my stomach was probably liver failure.
I knocked my head back into my pillow and groaned, recollecting the events of last night. I could still smell Em’s apple shampoo on my shirt. Bits and pieces of fractured images flashed in my mind. My hands skimming down the curve of her spine. Our sweaty bodies intertwined in the pool cabana. Her red thong. And then her red thong being pushed off in a hurry as I buried myself in her.
Damn, she was amazing.
A pit formed in my stomach at the thought of only having a day and a half left with her. What did that mean for us? With a pending three-thousand mile distance, was there even a possibility of an us?
Chapter 9
Emily
There was no mistaking the sound of kissing. Especially when the culprits were less than five feet away. Melissa whispered something to Drew and he huffed out a low laugh through his nose. Ugh. My brother and Melissa. Whispering sweet nothings to each other while I was in the bed next to them. Completely gross.
I turned toward the wall and shoved a pillow over my head to block out the sound. So much for roommate consideration. I’d purposefully not taken Chase back to my room last night because I was trying to be courteous to Melissa. And now she was in bed. With my brother.
Yuck.
I ignored them and closed my eyes, thinking back to last night. How perfectly we’d fit together, completely in sync with each other’s movements. And now I had less than forty-eight hours left with him until we went back to school, and soon after moved across the country. Was it stupid getting my hopes up for something long-term based off of one amazing night? Yes.
If anything, my ex-boyfriend taught me a lesson—long distance didn’t last. All it did was lead to heartbreak and my grades plummeting for a semester. I couldn’t afford that with law school.
But Chase and I had been friends for so long. Didn’t that count for something? Or would he just be another guy to chip away at my heart? Was a long-distance relationship even worth it? I’d never see him.
I mean, there was the phone. And we could mail letters. And I’d just started using AOL Instant Messenger, so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
I buried my head deeper into the pillow. Oh god, what was wrong with me? I hooked up with a guy one time and I was already thinking about months in the future. Why was I doing this to myself when he probably only wanted a one-night stand?
A sharp rap on the door pierced through my covered ears and severed those thoughts. I hopped out of the bed, not bothering to look at Melissa and Drew, who were most likely tangled up in the sheets.
Chase was leaning his head against the doorframe as I opened the door. He frowned when he saw me and asked, “Have you seen Drew?”
Well, hello, nice to see you, too. But I’d let it slide because he looked really hungover. “Yeah, he’s been here since late last night.”
“Oh, okay.”
I tried to catch his gaze, but he wouldn’t look directly at me, instead focusing over my head.
My stomach knotted as an awkward pause spanned between us. I may not have had that much experience with the whole “morning after” thing, but where was the I had sex with you last night and it was awesome hug? Or the knowing smile of having a shared secret moment? Was I in complete denial to think last night was really great?
Drew and Melissa appeared behind me, fully clothed, thank god. “Sorry about the disappearing act, bro.”
“No problem. Figured you’d pop up somewhere.” Chase nodded at him and gave a stiff smile.
“You look like shit, Chase. What happened?” Melissa chimed in.
We all moved back inside the room and I took a seat on the bed, while Melissa and Drew sat on hers.
Chase groaned as he sat down in the blue striped vinyl chair by the window. “Tequila.” He looked in every direction but me.
That sinking feeling in my stomach deepened. I knew he’d had quite a few drinks, but he seemed to be fine when we were together. Maybe he’d been more drunk than I’d originally thought. What if he regretted what happened? What if he thought it was a mistake?
Okay, I was overthinking this. We hadn’t even talked yet. Once we got alone, this whole thing could be worked out. There was no use worrying about it at the moment.
Drew said, “Let’s get some grease. Always cures a hangover.”
“Food sounds amazing,” Melissa agreed.
Chase still wouldn’t look directly at me, instead focusing on Drew. “How are you not hung over? You were drunker than shit last night,” he said.
“Just lucky, I guess.” Drew smiled and wrapped his arm around Melissa.
I peered down at my Stanford shirt and Tweety Bird sleep shorts, suddenly very aware I was the only person not fully dressed at the moment. “I need to get changed first before we go eat.” I grabbed a pair of jeans shorts and a tank top from the bottom dresser drawer and bee-lined it to the bathroom. Clutching the sink, I stared in the mirror and worked at keeping my breathing under control. There was nothing to worry about here. This was probably just Chase not feeling well and…looking at me made it worse? Ugh. Yeah, I couldn’t explain that one. I splashed water on my face and blotted it with a towel.
I stared down my reflection, the new Emily that was suddenly self-conscious about boy trouble needed to vacate the premises immediately. I needed to focus on something that I could control, so I slipped out of my pajamas and into the fresh set of clothes. Another glance in the mirror and I cringed. My curls were in a state of disarray that could only be tamed by a hair tie or some serious amounts of Aqua Net. Chase had seen me like this hundreds of times, but I wanted to look a little more presentable the first time we saw each other after last night. If, you know, he’d actually look at me.
Thirty minutes later we sat at a table by the window in Captain Pete’s Bakery on the Starboard Deck. Chase held his head in one hand as he pushed around scrambled eggs on his plate with his fork. “Why did you let me have those tequila shots?”
“Oh, your tolerance hasn’t changed since sophomore year, huh?” Drew mused.
“Yeah, yeah. Screw off.” He waved his fork at Drew.
“Well, now you can check off an item on your blackout bingo.” Melissa smiled and pulled a Sharpie out of her bag. Seriously, I’d seen more things come out of that bag than were stocked on shelves at Walgreens.
Chase shook his head. “Is there anything you don’t have in there?”
She shrugged. “I like to be prepared. I didn’t hear you complaining when I gave you suntan lotion yesterday. And where’d you run off to last night?”
He dabbed the corner of his mouth with his napkin, looking like he was carefully choosing his words. “Just needed to catch some air on deck.”
Hmm. I got that he didn’t want to come out and say that we’d hooked up, but was it really that bad to say we hung out together? I hadn’t told Melissa about the events of last night because she was busy going on about my brother—which I really didn’t need to hear about. But I didn’t want to keep what had happened a secret. I wasn’t embarrassed by Chase.
This gleam filled her eyes, like she’d just landed some juicy gossip. And I knew right where this was headed. “Weird. So did Emily.”
“Yeah. Weird,” I said, my tone clipped. The giddiness from early this morning had taken a complete nosedive into Self-Conscious Land. Because how else was I supposed to take him ignoring me after what
had happened and not mentioning that we hung out? Maybe he was embarrassed and I was just some pity fuck. Although, that wasn’t how it seemed last night. Then again, I didn’t think he was that drunk either, and apparently he was hung over as shit.
Melissa peered over at me and furrowed her brows, trying to gauge my reaction.
I kept shoveling food in my mouth, playing oblivious to the fact Melissa knew something was up. Two could play the denial game.
“How many squares do you have left on your bingo card?” Chase asked.
“Four.” She preened, basking in the glory that she was kicking all of our butts.
“Jesus. What are you? A ninja?” he said.
Melissa smiled. “Efficient.” And that she was.
“Right. I need to get on that.” Chase skimmed his list and frowned.
Drew flagged down the waitress and said, “One bloody Mary, please.”
Guess he was trying to put a dent in his list too. Drinking before noon? Check.
Chase gagged and covered his mouth when Drew’s drink arrived, looking worse than he had when he arrived at our room. “How the hell can you even drink that right now?”
“Because I didn’t drink too much last night.”
“Bull. You were drunk as a damn skunk when you came back to the room.” He paused and added. “And I wasn’t even that drunk.”
Okay, so you were fully aware when we fooled around. Good to know. I frowned and focused on stirring the straw around my drink. I knew that I should focus on the positive, the fact that I was on a cruise with my best friends, celebrating the last few months of freedom. And yet, I was sulking about Chase. Or the lack of what was going on with Chase since about forty minutes ago.
“You okay?” Drew nudged me with his elbow, concern etching across his face.
I shrugged. “Yeah, just tired.”
He took a sip of his Bloody Mary, eying me, clearly not believing a word I said. “You sure?”
“Yeah.” Like I was going to tell him that I was having a not-even-quarter-life crisis over the fact that I slept with his best friend and didn’t know what that meant. Yeah, not happening.
We locked eyes and the lines on his face faded. Good, he was letting it go. “How are you doing on your list?”
I shrugged and said, “Getting there.” He didn’t need to know that I took great pleasure in checking off the little square labeled hook up with someone in the group.
He snatched it off the table before I could pull it away and my stomach sank. I’d always been annoyed when Drew made hollow threats to previous boyfriends in high school. But I didn’t quite know how he’d take it if he found out I’d hooked up with Chase. Probably not well. I steeled myself for his reaction, clutching my hands to the bottom of my seat.
“Wow, looks like you’ve been busy.” He kept scanning the list and I could tell when the realization dawned on him and that he’d found the crossed off square. His eyes cut to mine and then Chase’s.
“Is this why you’re sad, Em?”
Before I could answer he turned to Chase, staring daggers in his direction. “What the fuck did you do, man?”
I put my hand on his arm, trying to get him to look at me. “Drew.” I didn’t need him fighting my battles for me.
“It’s not what you think,” said Chase.
“Really? Because the look on her face tells me you did what you promised me you wouldn’t do.” His hands clenched into fists as a flush filled his cheeks.
Beads of sweats dotted at Chase’s hairline and the tequila from last night looked like it might make a reappearance. “Keep your voice down, man. We’re in a restaurant,” he said in a hushed tone.
What the hell? What was this all about? The hot sting of betrayal bolted down my spine at the thought of these two deciding something about me without me actually being there. “What promise?”
They sat in silence, both looking a little sheepish.
My patience meter teetered in the red zone and I debated if I really wanted to know what they’d discussed behind my back. Not knowing was way worse.
I leveled my brother with a glare, propping my elbows on the table. “Out with it.”
Drew took a deep breath and worried his bottom lip. “I told Chase to leave you alone.”
I threw my arms up in the air. “What the hell, Drew?”
He frowned and picked at the edge of my paper. “Em. I was just trying to look out for you. I remember how bad it was with Brandon. I didn’t want the same thing to happen again.”
Just the mention of Brandon stabbed me through the gut. He’d verbalized what I was too scared to admit aloud. I liked Chase and I didn’t want whatever this was to end tomorrow. I also didn’t want to drown my sorrows in Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia, either.
I slammed my hands down on the table. “So what if it did? Last time I checked, I was a big girl and didn’t need to be taken care of.” I was the one that was going to defend people in court. I was the one that would take care of people, not the other way around. And I damn well could choose if I wanted my heart strung along.
“It’s just a bingo game. You need to lighten up, Drew,” Chase said, wiping his mouth with his napkin.
The wind knocked out of me, his words a physical blow. I hadn’t really thought about it like that, but could Chase have wanted to sleep with me out of convenience for the game? And here I was considering a relationship that continued on dry land. Unbelievable.
The eggs I’d eaten soured in my stomach and a chill washed over my skin. Is that why he wouldn’t look at me this morning? Because he was ashamed for using me? The pieces were falling into place as the embarrassing reality of the situation sank in. This was a one-night type of thing and I’d let myself think it could be something more.
“Wait, I didn’t mean—” he started, but my brother’s fist connecting with his jaw ended whatever he was going to say.
Chapter 10
Chase
When I was a kid, I used to want to be a hero in one of my comic books. It would have been really convenient to have word bubble dialogue that I could erase if I said something incredibly stupid. Like insinuate last night happened because of a bingo game. Where was that magic eraser when I needed it? I’d be doing a service to mankind if I inserted my foot in my mouth and never spoke again.
If the ringing in my head wasn’t enough, the fist connecting with my jaw was the icing on top of my hangover. But really, the hurt in Em’s eyes hit me harder than any sucker punch.
“Drew!” shouted Emily.
People at other tables were staring at us, some gawking. A waiter rushed over to see if I was okay. Yeah, we were the real-life Jerry Springer show.
“Don’t talk about my sister like she’s a piece of ass.”
Tears glistened in Em’s eyes and I knew that I’d fucked up. She never cried, not even when she fell out of a tree when we were ten and she broke her arm.
We stared each other down for a few tense moments, and I readied myself in case he lunged at me again. One punch was justified, but I wouldn’t take another hit. Not when I cared more for his sister than any guy possibly ever could.
“Drew, let’s go out in the hall and you can calm down,” said Melissa. And I was thankful for the moment I’d have alone with Em so I could explain it wasn’t just about the game.
They both left the table and I let out a shaky breath.
“Listen, Em. That came out completely wrong.”
She closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath. When she opened them, they were no longer glassy, but cold and devoid of any emotion. “No, you know, you’re right. It was just a little bit of fun before we both go off into the real world.” Her words were clinical, matter of fact, and so far from how I felt about the whole ordeal.
“But that’s not what it was.”
She leveled me with a glare that sent ice down my spine. “I really don’t want to hear it. What happened is in the past. It was fun, but now it’s over.”
“Bu
t—”
Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t you get it? I’m moving to New York in a few weeks. This will never work out. I’ve already been down the long-distance road before and it didn’t turn out well.”
What the hell? “So all I’m worth to you is one night? How is that any better than a fucking bingo game?”
“Chase, stop.” Her face scrunched momentarily, but then she blinked and she was back to normal. “It’s for the best.”
“Yeah.” Hot tears crept in the periphery of my vision and like hell if I’d cry in front of her. “Guess I’ll see you around.” I pushed back from the table and walked out of the restaurant without looking back.
I made it out to the Starlight Deck before losing my shit. My head still pulsed with the hangover and my stomach was still queasy, but the deep breath of sea air helped calm my nerves. How had I managed to utterly fuck this up so bad? I’d pissed off my best friend and lost the potential love of my life in the span of two minutes. Even Urkel lacked the skill of pulling off that big of a disaster.
I just couldn’t let myself believe that she didn’t even want to try at a relationship. I knew Em to the core; she’d never blindly hook up with someone, that wasn’t her style. We could do this, the distance thing. If she was game, I was too. I just had to convince her that I was worthy…and that was going to be a challenge since she thought I’d viewed last night as meaningless. I needed advice, and fast.
Unfortunately, the one guy I depended on currently wanted to decapitate me. I leaned against the railing and stared out at the water, hoping it would give me some sign as to what to do to make this better. All I got was a strong gust of wind and the distant screams of people plunging into the pool a few yards away. I hefted out a sigh. The last thing I wanted was to spend my last day completely miserable and ostracized from the group. So, I guess I knew what I had to do.
Drew was alone in our room, holding a bag of ice to his knuckles when I walked through the door. “I still have one working fist,” he called.
“I’m not here to fight. Can we just talk. No fists?”