by Marina Adair
But he also refused to be that other guy with her. The one who was too busy checking to see if his earlier hypothesis about her cupcakes was correct—which a gentle slide up her back confirmed that he was—to clarify that this was an intentional turn in direction and not some spur-of-the-moment road trip.
He wasn’t ready to pull the emergency brake, but he wanted to tap them long enough to see where she was at.
“What are you doing?” she asked, her eyes fully dilated to sex kitten.
“Checking to make sure you’re okay with this.”
“I thought you were checking to see if I’m wearing a bra.” She bit her lip and shook her head.
It took everything he had to keep his eyes on her face. “I’m just looking out for you.”
“How about tonight we look out for each other?”
And with that, she pulled her sweater up and over her head and . . .
No.
Fucking.
Bra.
Just a pair of cutoffs, silky skin, and a set of perfect tens that had his mouth watering and his unnavigated waters going as wild as the rapids. And in case that wasn’t crystal fucking clear enough, she grabbed the band of his jeans and whispered, “When you’re done looking after me, I want to look after you.”
Question answered.
Always a team player, Ford did his part of the heavy lifting, undoing the first two buttons on her shorts. Lucky guy that he was, Liv wrapped her arms around his neck and went up on her toes, giving him all the room he needed to slip the shorts off her hips and down to the floor. Leaving her in nothing but a tiny pink thong.
“My turn?” she asked against his lips.
“I haven’t even looked yet,” he said, skimming his hands down her sides to cup her cheeks and then lifting her onto the counter. Where he looked and tasted his fill. Kissing her mouth, her neck, her breasts, showing her just how insanely beautiful she was.
“Perfect,” he whispered against the curve of her breast. Opening wide, he hummed with pleasure as he covered her, then drew his teeth over the delicate flesh until he reached the nipple. He carefully bit down, searching for her reaction.
The sexy gasp that ebbed from her throat flushed his veins with heat. He released her, soothing the sting with his tongue. “You like that?”
“I think so,” she said, and Ford looked up to find her curiously surprised, the earlier confidence taking on a shyer tone.
“You think so as in you’re not sure or you don’t like it?”
“I liked it, I just wasn’t sure that I would,” she admitted quietly.
He straightened, moving between her legs and running his hands over her thighs. “Well then, let’s go slow so we can see what you are and aren’t sure about,” he said, and she nodded. “Now, I know you’re sure about this.”
Ford took her mouth in a gentle kiss that told her she had all the time she needed. He wasn’t going to rush her. He couldn’t give her forever, but he could give her the perfect entry into living after loss. Show her what she deserved in a man and how treasured she should feel.
He was going to set the bar so fucking high that she’d never settle.
The kiss picked up heat until Liv was panting against his lips, reminding him of exactly why he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her ankles were locked behind his back, and she was wiggling against him to create friction. Nothing between them but his jeans and a scrap of silk so thin he could feel how wet she was.
“I’m sure,” she moaned when he slowly raised his hand up to cup her breasts. When he replaced it with his mouth, she dropped her head back against the cabinet. “So sure.”
And when he was sure she was lost in the haze, he nipped her again, not hard, just enough to feel her legs tighten around him. “Yes, sure. I didn’t think I’d be sure, but God, I’m so sure.”
He smiled against her skin as he did it again and then decided to head south, see if she was open to a little assistance below the equator. His lips skimmed across her belly, down to the little patch of skin that peeked out above her panties and, hallelujah, look at that! Her legs parted on their own.
He kissed her inner thigh, then the other, teasing every inch along her panties until she was panting. She moved her hips, trying to show him where she wanted him, so he moved back down to her inner thigh.
“Higher,” she begged. “I’m already sure about all of those places.”
“I’m a thorough guy,” he said, and to prove it, he licked her right up the center, and she cried out. So he did it again, only this time he moved the strip of silk aside.
“Oh God, I am so sure,” she panted. “More than sure. Positive!”
Ford did his best to drive her positively over the edge. Licking and sucking, even using his teeth until he could feel her tighten, feel her thighs wrap around his shoulders. Then he added a finger to the mix, just one at first, then two when she begged, and then he gave a flick-swirl combo, and she came apart in his hands.
So beautiful, he thought as the moonlight came through the window and reflected off her wet lips and bedroom eyes.
“Lift up,” he coaxed as he gently slid her panties off and onto the floor.
“Is it my turn to do the looking?” she asked, sounding very relaxed, her hands fumbling with his button fly.
She managed to get two undone by the time he’d reached for the condom in his back pocket. Because even though he’d promised to keep his hands off her, he knew the second she’d followed him inside he wouldn’t be able to.
Ford was tearing open the condom when her delicate fingers slid into his pants to wrap around him.
“Are you sure?” she asked, this sexy little purr to her voice, then slowly stroked him from base to tip and back down, tightening as she went.
“I’m sure that if you keep that up, we won’t get to dessert.”
“You already had my cupcakes.” And they were incredible, but her hands were even better. Soft and sure, giving him an eyes-rolling-to-the-back-of-the-head squeeze that nearly caused him to drop the condom.
“We said look not touch, and we said we were looking after each other.” He put her hand on his shoulder, quickly sheathing himself and stepping into her. “So the next time either of us comes, it will be together. Agreed?”
Liv gave him a sexy smile. “If you’re sure.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” he said, and wrapping her legs around him, he entered her in one slow thrust that had both of them moaning in pleasure.
He might have moaned a second time, because she felt that good. That right. So right he knew that once he had her in his bed, he’d never want to leave.
And then in a move that knocked him out at the knees, she leaned forward and whispered, “I’m sure about you, Ford.”
And then she kissed him sweetly, softly, until he felt his entire world spin back to right. Her mouth was like sunshine, and her hands rolled over his body as if molding his image.
Then she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck, and he was pretty sure he’d found peace. But then she started moving, up and down, their bodies getting slick in the evening air, and Ford changed his mind.
It wasn’t peace he was feeling—it was coming home. He didn’t want to run, didn’t feel the need to search. He felt as if he’d been lost, searching for his way home, and Liv had rescued him.
“Ford,” she said, and he realized she was watching him, concern in her eyes.
“I’m sure,” he said, moving inside her with strong, healing strokes. Trying to get as deep inside her as he could, wanting to fall right into her and never come up.
Eyes never leaving his, she tightened around him, her body pressed so tightly against his, they were moving as one unit. She hid nothing from him, locked on, opened and honest.
“Ready?” he asked as he slid under her, lifting her off the counter so he could go deeper. Using her arms, she rose and nodded.
She lowered herself back down right as he thrust up. He felt something inside of him s
tart to crumble, felt the first tremor of her release, and when he did it again, he felt her shatter around him, squeezing so erotically tight that it was too much and not enough all at the same time.
All the guilt, the frustration, the past coiled into a tight ball in the center of his chest, and then it too shattered. So hard his knees gave out and they slid to the floor.
Resting his head back against the lower cabinets, Ford fought for breath as Liv curled around him. Heart still hammering, he gathered her close and pressed his face into her hair, breathing her in. And damn if he wasn’t wrong.
She didn’t smell like cupcakes—she smelled like home.
Liv lay there, her arms tight around Ford, listening to his chest rise and fall, and waited. Waited for the reality of what had just happened to slam into her. For the guilt and the second thoughts to kick in and press down.
Only as she lay there, waiting, the only thing she felt was elation. A lightening of her chest, a clarity in her heart, and all kinds of wonderful zings floating through her body.
God, she’d missed this.
The intimacy, the connection, the weightlessness that came from opening up to someone else in such a basic, elemental way.
She’d mistakenly thought that this part of her life was securely wrapped up in Sam, so when he died she’d let it go with him. But she’d been wrong. And tonight she was reclaiming it for herself.
This jubilation and freedom was hers. It had always been hers, and now she was allowing herself to share that experience with someone else.
She’d been wrong to think that one relationship could diminish another. It only made her realize how amazingly different two men could be. And how far she’d come in her journey.
Liv opened her eyes, surprised to find Ford watching her. He looked so serious she wanted to laugh. She also wanted to cry, but since that would probably freak him out even more, she kissed him.
“I’m still sure,” she whispered and kissed him again. “And in case you’re still worried, I was sure twice in fifteen minutes. That’s a record for me.”
That time he smiled. “It could have been three, but you started getting handsy and sped things up.”
“I’m a nurse. We excel with our hands.”
“I noticed.” He gave her another brush of the lips and then lifted her off him and placed her on her feet. Her legs were almost as wobbly as her heart.
Because this hadn’t been a precursor to step four. It was step four. They weren’t dating, and they didn’t have a title, but they did share a relationship. However tenuous it was, it would forever shape her life.
“Don’t move.” Ford stood, walking all six-plus glorious feet of him down the hallway like naked was his thing, and Liv got her first chance to really look at him. And sweet baby Jesus, the man was big. Everywhere.
A gentle giant, she thought, picking up her sweater and slipping it on. She grabbed her shorts and was looking for her underwear when a scrap of pink silk came into view, dangling from a manly finger.
“Need help?” he asked, and she snatched it back.
Stuffing it in her shorts pocket, she slipped them on and went to button them, when Ford pushed her hands aside. He’d tugged on his jeans but was still missing the shirt, so when he stepped closer, she had a yummy overload.
He took his time buttoning her shorts, then linking his thumbs into her belt loops, he tugged her close to kiss. “Now, why were you buttering me up earlier?”
Liv laughed, and it felt good. “It doesn’t matter. We can talk about it tomorrow.”
When she couldn’t still taste him on her lips.
“I don’t like it.” He lowered his mouth and kissed her until she forgot how to argue. With a satisfied grin, he grabbed the chopsticks off the counter and handed her a set. Then he grabbed Liv by the waist and set her on the counter.
Stepping between her legs, he opened one of the to-go boxes, Mongolian beef, and offered her the first bite. “Now, why did you stop by?”
Liv speared a piece of broccoli. “To be clear. This.” She waved the chopsticks between them. “Wasn’t part of the buttering.”
“This,” he said wickedly, “is too sweet to be anything but frosting.”
Liv didn’t know why that made her heart pitter-pat, but it did. “I need a favor.”
He chuckled. “Last time you asked for a favor, I spent my day being ogled by a bunch of old ladies.”
“You also got cupcakes.”
“Point taken.” He popped a bite in his mouth. “What’s the favor?”
“I want to rent your dog.”
She looked around, realizing that she hadn’t a clue as to where Bullseye had gone.
“He’s a gentleman—he’s in his room. And why do you want to rent my dog?”
Liv pulled out the note she’d stuck in her pocket and handed it to him. She’d read it a dozen times since seeing it, and it still made her tear up.
Ballerina Girl~
Superboy is one of us. He has shown you the secret handshake. Show him our secret dance moves.
~Bullseye
“I found him standing by the road, alone,” he said. “Actually, Bullseye found him. I was going to call you, but I decided I’d try to get him to go back on his own terms.”
“I’m glad you didn’t,” she said, running a hand down his arm. “It ended up being his best day of camp. Probably his best day of the summer.”
He shrugged self-consciously, and Liv found it odd that for such a confident man, Ford had a hard time accepting a genuine compliment.
“The handshake went off so well that Paxton was nominated Camp Super Star, and the counselors asked everyone to come up with their own handshake for the parade. Which is why I need to borrow Bullseye. I think it will help Paxton relax in front of his peers, and maybe even open the door to making some friends.” She pulled out another folded paper, this one an article she’d printed out. “I found this shelter in Denver that helps shy or anxious kids overcome their fears of public speaking with kitten therapy.”
“Kitten therapy?”
“They bring kids who have a hard time reading in front of class into a room full of kittens and have them read to the kittens,” she explained. “It helps socialize the kittens for adoption, but researchers found that the kids’ stress levels dropped significantly because they could practice reading aloud without being judged.”
“It’s another reason we bring nonthreatening dogs like Bullseye on searches for kids. Most of the trailing K-9s can track a week-old scent, but kids are more likely to respond to the calls of the officers if they see a goofy dog by their side rather than a German shepherd or a Doberman. It also calms the kids and creates an immediate conversation starter,” he said. “Sometimes we only have a few seconds to gain their trust, and an animal can help with that.”
Liv wasn’t so sure about his theory. There was a gentleness and sincerity about Ford that made him easy to like. Easy to really like, she thought, staring at his lips. “So can I rent your dog?”
“You can borrow him, on one condition,” he said, and she met his gaze, steady and warm. “Have dinner with me? A real dinner?”
“Unless it comes in a box or off a menu, I’ll burn it.”
Ford cupped her cheek. “I didn’t ask you to cook for me—I asked you to come to dinner with me.”
When he looked at her like that, Liv was afraid she’d go anywhere with him.
CHAPTER 15
“How many more sheriffs’ badges do we have left to paint?” Grace asked, wiping gold glitter off her fingers onto her apron. “I’m starting to see doubles of everything.”
Liv was having a hard time seeing anything past her upcoming date with Ford. It had been three days since their impromptu dinner turned dessert, and her body was still tingling. In fact, her whole world felt all tingly. Which accounted for the goofy grin she wore.
“At least you’re on paint duty. I’ve stabbed every finger twice.” Avery sucked on her pointer finger. “There is no sa
fety in these pins.”
“There’s only one more box, and then we’re done,” Liv said, looking at the rows of drying sheriffs’ badges lining her kitchen counter. “The Stroller Patrol is taking care of the spurs for their feet, and Mr. Burns got us a deal on pink cowgirl hats for the girls.”
A few weeks ago, Liv hadn’t known even half of those people except in passing. Now she was making connections, building relationships, and spreading her wings.
And the stretch felt good.
She’d always been afraid that spreading her wings would require her to lose her footing. But the higher she flew, the more grounded she became.
She enjoyed working with the other mothers. Enjoyed being someone other people came to with questions. And she especially enjoyed how full her life was starting to feel. Not full to where it was hard to breathe like before. This kind of full had a lightness to it.
All she’d had to do was let go of some of the weight.
“What are those?” Grace asked.
“Eye masks for kids who want to be outlaws,” Liv said, finishing up the stitching on the eye mask and cutting the thread.
“Cute idea,” Avery said.
“It was all Paxton.” She held the mask up to her face. “He watched The Lone Ranger with his grandma and said kids should be able to pick between being a sheriff and an outlaw.”
“I still can’t believe Carolyn blamed you for Sam’s death,” Grace said.
“She didn’t blame me,” Liv said, trying to ignore the hollow ache in her chest. She’d been trying to ignore it since her last conversation with Carolyn, without much luck. “She knew Sam and I were having problems. I mean, who shows up to their parents’ on Christmas Eve with their son and no wife?”
“People whose wives are nurses and drew the short straw to work Christmas Eve,” Avery said.
“I could have found someone to work my shift if I had wanted.” But she’d been more interested in making a point.
Sam had been working so many hours at the hospital that he was rarely home. He’d worked on Thanksgiving and was booked to work New Year’s, so when he agreed to assist in a surgery in Las Vegas on Christmas Eve, Liv drew the line. Told him something needed to change. That she missed him, missed their marriage.