by Holly Evans
Ten
I slammed the door behind us and threw off my boots, the soft thud of them hitting the wall only punctuating Lysander's huffing.
"Speak, hound,” I snapped.
"I have done nothing wrong," he shouted back.
He was right, I knew he was, but I didn't know how to express it. He paced around the living room area, his fingers dragging through his thick black hair, his muscles tight and his gait short and sharp.
"I have done all I can to make you happy, and you pull away, you deny me, for what? Because I am the wrong species? I feel your emotions, your desires, and you still drive me away. Then, you openly lust after a witch!"
I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. "The witch is still a human, not a beast."
His flinch stung me.
"I drive you away because I'm scared, I'm terrified. I do not know what I'm supposed to do with you! I have never known a happy relationship, I separated myself from the world to protect it. To protect Quin. Then you came along!"
Tears tumbled down my cheeks.
"I am not to blame for your decisions Evelyn."
"I cannot help my fear, Lysander. I saw what you did."
His hands wrapped around my upper arms. "And you saw what I have done with and for you. You cannot hold my past against me." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Please."
My legs trembled, the weight of the world heavy upon my shoulders. The regret of my decisions, of the path I'd carved for myself weakening my increasingly weary muscles. He held me close to him, his arms gentle around me, keeping me safe as the tears fled down my cheeks and leapt off my jaw.
"I can't lose you. I can't have my heart broken again. I am weak, I couldn't survive it. It almost killed me with Christian."
He pulled back from me a little and delicately brushed the tears from my face. “I swear to you Evelyn, I would never do that to you."
"I need time, and space. I'm not ready. I need to clear my head, I need to figure myself out. Give me that."
He rested his chin on the top of my head. "I'll be waiting for you."
I sighed and leaned into him, embracing the security and sanctuary he offered me.
Softly he asked, "And the witch?"
I couldn't look him in the eye. "I won't deny that I am attracted to him, that I would sleep with him given the chance."
He simply nodded and kissed my forehead. "I understand, as best as I can."
He stepped back and brushed away the last of my tears. "I'm going for a run, mistress."
With that, he left. I was alone with my thoughts, the emotions roiling within me. Why couldn't anything be simple?
The sensation of my heart breaking returned to me as I remembered finding Christian in bed with the nymph. I'd thought he was the one, my other half, the one who completed me. Yet he'd thought nothing of throwing it all away. I knew the hound could speak no lie, not to me, but that didn't mean he could see the future. He thought he'd never do that to me, but he didn't know. Not really.
The feeling of intense loneliness settled over me. Quin was with Kadrix, Elise was in her church, and my hound, my dear hound, was running through the city. I gazed out the window to see the dark sky throwing rain down upon the city as though punishing it for my deeds, my mistakes. Taking a deep breath, I pulled myself together and retrieved the witch's number from my pocket. I needed to escape, to lose myself in something pleasurable. I had no interest in getting drunk, but him, I knew I could lose myself in him. He replied within seconds, eager to see me again, or so he said. It was set. The decision made.
I went through the motions of making myself pretty. Not that it mattered, really, we both knew what we were meeting for. Eyeliner and red lipstick wasn't going to change that one way or the other, but the act of it soothed me. I was putting on my mask for the world, for him. Really, I was putting it on for myself. I was hiding from what I was doing. I didn't remember the last time I'd worn so much make-up, and it was wonderful.
The journey went by in a blur, my mind sharp and focused on the witch's smile. We went through the shop in a haze of intense kisses that burnt down my neck while his hands explored my body. His muscles were taut beneath my fingers, his skin smooth and soft. We made it to the hallway before I made short work of his shirt, discarding it on the wooden floor. The need built within me, kisses turns to bites, I clawed down his firm back while he threw my skirt on the stairs beneath us. Fire burnt up through my core, pleasure filled my mind, and everything else faded to nothing.
Eleven
I woke up tangled in the witch’s arms and sheets; an unfamiliar warmth and relaxation had spread throughout my body. I rested my head on his broad chest and listened to his steady heartbeat and breathing before he stirred, his hand slowly running down my back. I wriggled against him, wondering what my chances were of a repeat performance. His scent of warm bread and clary sage filled my nostrils, and the spell was broken. I wanted the scent of hot metal and petrichor. He must have sensed the change in me; his arms pulled back from me, leaving the cool air to lick at my exposed skin.
His thumb ran along my bottom lip, his eyes slightly dulled. “You really love him, don’t you?”
I tilted my head and frowned, trying to figure out whom he meant. His smile came so easily.
“The witch is originally from Iceland, she comes from an ancient bloodline with more power than I’ve heard of from anywhere else. She’s cut-throat, cold, and there’s a rumour that she’s turned from the crone.”
Seemingly satisfied, he wrapped his hand around the back of my head and pulled me into a deep kiss; my body leant into him while my mind wandered. We got dressed with only mild embarrassment and discomfort. I did my best to tidy up the mess that had once been my beautiful mask of make-up before we left with a light hug. I told myself that I didn’t regret it, that I felt better for the entire experience. Admittedly, my body felt looser and my mind clearer; unfortunately, my mind wanted only one thing.
The sun had long since risen and the air was crisp and fresh. The cool breeze tickled my face and tugged at my hair, adding further tangles and knots. I thrust my hands into my pockets and wished away the thoughts of Lysander, yet they only came harder and firmer. A burning sensation bloomed in my chest and slowly swept outwards, tingling down my arms until I felt as though I were on fire. The people around me were bundled up in thick coats and tall boots, yet I had to strip down to my thin shirt and skirt. I couldn’t bear it. The heat prickled my skin. Imaginary flames crawled up my spine, my breath became shorter and more difficult. My vision blurred around the edges. Thoughts slowed to a sedentary pace. There was nothing but the feeling of burning, of becoming nothing more than fire.
My heart thundered in my ears. Strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me to a firm chest, the familiar scent of hot metal and petrichor surrounded me. My muscles relaxed and air flooded my lungs. Thoughts re-emerged. Lysander’s breath trickled down my neck as he whispered soothing words with no meaning past the sensation of safety. I pressed tighter to him willing away the tears and the fear.
Once I’d calmed, he wrapped me back up in my coat and guided me onto the next tram home, his arm remaining around my waist keeping me close. I curled up and leaned on him, taking sanctuary in his presence. I had no idea what had happened, what was happening, but I couldn’t deal with it. I couldn’t face it alone. He stroked my hair and soothed my thoughts once more.
“We’re almost home,” he said in a soft whisper.
I forced myself to be calm. I was being foolish and overreacting to something that was no doubt normal.
He held me in his arms on the sofa while I collected my thoughts and finally asked, “What happened?”
I searched his face for some easy answer.
“I’m not sure. You connected to my fire somehow. I haven’t experienced this before.”
His thumb traced my jawline before he nuzzled my neck. “I’ll keep you safe, Evelyn.”
He could tell no lies.
T
welve
Once I'd calmed and returned to some semblance of normalcy, Lysander wrapped his fingers tenderly under my jaw and held me firm, forcing me to look at him.
"Do you always hide from your problems, Evelyn?"
There was no hiding from the growl in his voice, no running from his touch. I set my jaw and glared at him.
"I was not hiding. I explained that I needed time and space."
His eyes narrowed.
"You jumped into bed with the witch."
He spat the last word.
I wanted anger to bloom, to override my shame and guilt. It refused to form. The witch's words echoed in my mind, 'you really love him don't you?'.
"I'm scared," I whispered.
His touch softened. "I am not used to... sharing."
"You're making some big assumptions,” I growled.
His hand fell away.
"Evelyn..." Exasperation trickled through the syllables.
I curled up, pulling my knees to my chest. I wasn't ready. I couldn't do it.
I squeezed my eyes shut. "What if I lose you?"
He tilted his head to one side, his brow furrowed.
"Life happens Evelyn, are you willing to risk never living?"
"Please understand," I pleaded.
He opened his arms and gently pulled me to him, his head rested on top of mine. "I do not share, Evelyn, but I will give you time."
I sighed softly. Any other man would have been told to get out of my life for such pushing, but he knew my heart. He knew me like no other could. I settled into his embrace and tried to settle my distressed mind. I'd choose to fight an army of demons over falling in love. Every time. I knew where I stood with demons.
Memories of Christian mingled with the night before, and my levels of distress and frustration gathered once more. The sensation of fire burst from my chest and engulfed me. I was coated in invisible flames that flickered and danced along my skin. I could feel the motion, the burning heat, but there was nothing visible. Panic welled up within me. Once again, Lysander held me close and stroked my hair, whispering soothing words. I crawled into his lap, tears tumbling down my cheeks while I tried to come to terms with what was going on.
"You're ok, Evelyn, I'm here. Breathe."
Slowly the fire sensation slipped away, leaving me trembling and crying in Lysander's arms.
"What's happening to me?"
He kissed my forehead tenderly. "The bond is deepening, I can't tell you more than that. You won't come to any harm. I'm here. I'll always be here."
His fingers brushed away my tears and he kissed slowly down my jaw, whispering soothing, calming words between each kiss. I slowly relaxed and accepted his attentions. My breathing eased. It was just another part of the bond. I could deal with it.
I took a deep breath and said, "We need to set some boundaries and guidelines."
His thumb trailed along my jawline, his lips pursed, but he said nothing.
"I need time, and space. I'm not ready to dive into a relationship."
"I will not share Evelyn. Hounds are a very territorial species, it's not in my nature to share."
I sighed softly. "You're assuming I'm yours."
The corners of his mouth quirked upwards. "I'm not assuming anything."
His eyes glittered with amusement. I was beat and I knew it.
I cursed the bond under my breath before I stood and said, "Fine."
My phone buzzed with two texts; Quin said the celestials were hassling Kadrix, and he was out-numbered. I wasn't overly keen on the elf, but I wasn't going to stand by and allow celestials to bother him. I changed into sensible clothes while shouting the scant details I had to Lysander. I hopped through the living room, pulling on my second boot before I slipped my blades into their sheathes and ran out the door.
We stormed into the workshop. If Quin was concerned enough to call in back-up, then I saw no reason not to go in all guns blazing. Lysander was hot on my heels. He quickly snarled when we saw the celestials clustered around Kadrix. Quin was standing half in front of Kadrix, but he was out-numbered. I barged past the books and knocked over a bottle of something on my path to Kadrix. The celestials didn't acknowledge our presence until I pushed Tiel back and put myself between them and Kadrix. Lysander rooted himself at my side, forming a clear barrier between them and the elf. The expression on Zair's face soured as he looked over my head to Kadrix.
"This does not involve you, Evelyn."
"You're hassling my twin's lover, it concerns me."
His hand moved down to his hip. Lysander was on him in a flash. There was a blur of motion mixed with snarling and shouts in a tongue I didn't recognise. It ended with Lysander pinning the larger creature to the floor by the throat, with Zair's eyes narrowed and his hands balled into tight fists. Tiel laughed and gave a little clap of amusement.
Ioel simply said, "Really?"
Zair's eyes flashed gold when Lysander's grip tightened around his throat.
"Hound," I said softly.
Lysander pushed off from Zair's throat as he stood, leaving a nice bright pink mark and causing Zair to cough a few times while Lysander returned to my side.
"Why are you bothering my alchemist?" I said coolly.
Zair brushed himself off and shot Lysander a look that I'm quite sure he wished could kill. "You really should train your hound."
I smiled sweetly. “He's perfectly trained."
I felt Lysander stand a little taller, preening.
Tiel's mouth spread into a delighted grin. "I haven't had this much fun in a long time, I'd have come down to this plane sooner had I have known."
"Answer my question,” I snarled.
"Evelyn, it's nothing to concern yourself over. They have what they want,” Kadrix said.
I ignored him and continued to glare at Zair.
The celestial gave a small shrug and made a show of inspecting his nails. "You heard the elf."
"And I asked you a question," I said.
He pursed his lips and rolled his eyes. "It is nothing to do with you."
Tiel stepped a little closer to us, causing Lysander to snarl once more. "Actually, Quin and Evelyn are at the heart of everything."
He watched our reactions with a delicate smile. I resisted the urge to punch his pretty mouth.
"Stop baiting us and tell us what you know, and what you want."
His eyes held mine. "And where would the fun be in that?"
I smiled as sweetly as I could manage. "You'd keep your balls for one..."
He laughed. “What a quaint threat. Don't lie to yourself Evelyn, you wouldn't be able to resist doing far more fun things should your hands slip that low."
Lysander punched him.
Tiel rubbed his jaw and said, "Possessive little thing, isn't he?"
Lysander began snarling and went to punch him again.
I held up my hand. "Enough."
He growled under his breath, but put his hand down. Zair muttered something about uncivilised beasts.
"Answer our questions. Why are you bothering Kadrix, and what was that shit about Quin and I being at the heart of things?"
Zair gave me a smirk and vanished; Ioel vanished with him.
Tiel sighed melodramatically, the smile still fixed on his face. "Looks like you won't be getting those answers. Sorry."
He vanished, too.
I spun on my heel, crossed my arms, and fixed my darkest glare on Kadrix. "Well?"
Thirteen
Kadrix had refused to say anything, simply waving me off. Quin gave me a hopeless look. I was left with no choice but to let it go, for the moment at least.
Lysander wrapped his arm around my waist, cleared his throat, and said, "What do you know of the bond between hellhound and... mistress?"
Kadrix looked between us, his lips pursed, before he took a step closer and said, "I've done quite a lot of reading, why? Is this where you ask me to witness your consummation?"
My cheeks flushed bright red; Lysander and
Quin both laughed.
"Kadrix!" I managed to squeak.
He looked at me with a mix of boredom and amusement. “Yes?"
Lysander choked down the rest of his laughter and said, "Evelyn has been experiencing hellfire."
The elf's head tilted to one side, his eyes lit up. He reached out to touch me. I stepped back.
"No, do not look at me like some specimen."
He pouted and huffed before he waved his hand. "Fine. My reading suggests that it's not unusual. Your hound will walk you through it."
With that, he turned his attentions to Quin, and they began talking about alchemical things. We had clearly been dismissed. I glared daggers at the elf's back but turned and left the workshop. After all of that, we had nothing other than the fact that Kadrix was clearly hiding something, and that was hardly news.
We blinked in the bright sunlight; I cursed the sun for hanging so low in the sky. Something small and red fled past me before it disappeared down the short alleyway. I glanced at Lysander, wondering if I was imagining things, but he was tense and focused intensely on the alleyway.
"Did you...?"
He gave a short nod. We jogged down the alleyway, built into the old buildings as a short passageway through to the next street over. The city was riddled with them. The narrow road on the other side looked much like all the others in Malastrana, heading up towards the embassies alongside the pastel coloured facades and over-priced trinket shops. We stood and looked around for the potential small creature, but nothing caught our eye. I frowned. Perhaps it had been a small child playing a game.