“I always used to look to her for approval,” she said.
Driven, even as a child and through her teens, she’d had her mother’s unconditional support as she’d entered the world of professional singing. She had always asked her mother’s opinion whenever trying something new. Until recently, when her manager and the record label had suggested she take a risk and pair up for a duet with a hip-hop singer with hopes it would increase her appeal to listeners and rocket her to superstardom. Olivia had looked over her shoulder—but her mother hadn’t been there to nod approval. So she had shaken her head, and hadn’t been able to commit to the project.
So that’s why you invited the vampire in. He’s the risk you don’t dare take in your career.
Wow. Wonder what her mother would say about that? Likely she would have approved a vampire for her daughter’s lover because Mom had been open-minded enough to be fascinated with the pairing. Yet she might have steered Olivia away from allowing the man to bite her. Especially on the first date.
Lifting her chin, Olivia pasted on a smile that quickly turned genuine.
“Will you help me package the cookies and then take them around to the neighbors? It’ll put you in the Christmas spirit,” she added hopefully.
He slapped a hand across his jeans, wiping away cookie crumbs, but didn’t respond.
“Come on,” she said. “It won’t take long. The old guy who lives below me is a codger, but I bet these cookies will make him smile. I’ve a Santa hat with a white fluff ball on it you could wear—”
“I can’t do this.” He tossed the half-eaten cookie onto the kitchen counter.
With that act Olivia felt as if he’d just snapped his fingers across her broken heart chord. “Fine. You don’t have to come along, but if you could help me put some cookies on plates…?”
“Olivia, I…” He scrubbed a palm over his face then stated plainly, “I don’t need to feel the Christmas spirit. I just…don’t want to do this.”
“I see.” She tipped up his chin with a fingertip. His eyes didn’t meet hers, and she suspected she’d touched a dark spot on that blurry soul of his. “Who put the coal in your Christmas stocking?”
He looked aside. His tension was tangible but she couldn’t figure why.
“Daniel?”
With a heavy sigh, he clasped her hand in his and pressed it against his heart as he said, “You have your memories. I have mine. And mine are just as depressing.”
“Memories of my mother aren’t depressing. I remember the good times we shared together. What is it about Christmas that haunts you?”
He tilted back his head and shook it. “It would Scrooge you out.”
“Come on, I can take it.” The fact he hadn’t moved away from her and still held her hand meant he wasn’t ready to charge out of here, so Olivia tilted down her head and captured his gaze, pleading with him to share with her.
The vampire sighed. “Fine. Here’s the details. A year ago, a few days before Christmas, I was a normal mortal guy, minding my own business, going about my life, despite the fact that normal life was as an investment broker for the biggest trading firm on Wall Street. I was known as Killer in person, but behind my back I know their favorite term for me was asshole.”
She gaped. For some reason she’d thought he’d always been a vampire. A foolish assumption. Even if she knew little about the creatures, it seemed apparent they could become vampire at any time if all it involved was a bite.
“I always worked well into the night, and one night as I was strolling the subway to catch the train to the airport for a last-minute trip to Vegas, a gang of hungry-looking street punks corralled me into a corner—and bit me.”
“Vampires,” she said on a gasp.
“Vampires.” He crossed his arms and turned to pace behind the couch, away from her. He put up a wall and Olivia was inclined to respect his need for distance. “I woke up in the E.R. My cot was shoved along a wall like I wasn’t high enough on the triage list to warrant immediate care. And I knew what had happened. Vampires had bitten me. How to explain that to the doctors without earning a one-way ticket to the loony bin? So I snuck out while I had the chance.
“I didn’t know where to go, what to do, who to tell. So I didn’t tell anyone. I quickly lost my job to a hotshot upstart who’d used my difficulty with concentrating and fighting against the blood hunger to prove to the boss I was an addict. A ridiculous accusation, but I could hardly defend myself with the truth. A week later the hunger pangs grew so strong, I…attacked a guy. Beat him up and bit him. I transformed to vampire that night, fangs and all.”
He stopped pacing before the window. She’d closed the curtains, expecting his visit, yet pale winter sun streamed around the edges, touching Daniel’s face as if hope attempted to permeate his darkness.
Olivia felt the vulnerability in his silence. To be attacked and forced to change into a creature who must live on human blood to survive? No one would ask for that. Only a strong man could survive.
She respected him for the trust he’d given her. It wasn’t an easy commodity to share.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know.”
“Now you do. And now you know that it’s probably better if I walk out that door and not come back.”
When he stepped toward the door she made a move to block his path. “Daniel, you being a vampire has nothing to do with you never coming back. I’ll deliver the cookies later. They can wait.”
“I’m harshing your Christmas spirit,” he said. “Vampire Scrooge doesn’t play into your dreams of sugarplums and stockings hung by the chimney with care.”
She had to smile at his attempt at lightening the mood. “Come here.” She held out her arms. “You need a hug.”
He shook his head in disbelief. “It’s going to take more than a hug to get over what I’ve become.”
“I know that, but I want to help.”
“Don’t worry about me, Olivia. I’ll get this figured out.”
“I know you will. But I still want to hug you.”
Standing but an inch from his body, her eyes traced his, and he allowed the long stare, the intimate look into his soul. And what she found there was no monster, but a kind, smart and determined man who had been wronged.
“You know if I hug you,” he said, “I’ll want to touch your skin. And if I touch your skin, I’ll want to kiss it. And if I kiss it…you’ll never get your cookies delivered.”
“The cookies can wait.”
CHAPTER FOUR
DANIEL HAD NEVER honestly enjoyed a woman before. Hell, he took what he could during sex, and gave back, as well. He could bring a woman to orgasm more than a few times, and have her whispering devotion to his talents. But when he’d been a corporate drone, he’d always been on a schedule. Everything had a time limit, including sex. He hadn’t time following sex to linger in bed and cuddle, or even draw his fingers along a woman’s dewy flesh to watch the subtle rise and fall of her breath, the tug of her muscles, the sighs that set up tiny goose bumps here and there.
Lost in the discovery of Olivia’s flesh, he trailed a fingertip down her ribs and above her belly button. There, he made a circle and delighted to see her skin prickle at the light touch, and then smooth out as her breathing increased.
Why had it taken so long for him to simply relax and be in the moment?
Touching the tip of his tongue to her belly, he drew a slow curve, painting his wants and needs onto her, and receiving a delicious moaning reply. This was a moment he had to remember. Imprint it like a video in his brain so he’d always have something awesome to behold. He’d never had it all.
Wait. Daniel’s conscience gave him pause and he kissed Olivia’s skin, yet tilted his cheek against her stomach to think.
He had had it all. He’d been top of his game, making a fortune, highly respected. Yet he’d never taken the time to acknowledge that fortune and status. Nor had he taken time to revel in a woman’s body. What a fool to have had li
fe in his grasp and to have squandered it with endless hours of work.
And then a gang of vampires had taken it all away.
And the result? He’d been given the opportunity to step aside from that former self and take a different path. A path that had initially freaked him. He was only now getting accustomed to vampirism and the idea of using an innocent mortal to sustain his life. It still felt wrong. Monstrous.
Could he ever get over his new bad self and just accept?
“You tired, lover?” she whispered, nudging him with a hip.
Daniel glanced to the clock. Hell, it was after ten. Screw having it all. If he let down the Jones women again he wouldn’t be worthy of having all this sweetness he’d suddenly gained.
“Not tired. Just thinking about all that I once had and lost.”
“Your job. Your life as a mortal. You want it back?”
“I don’t think so. I think the attack happened for a reason. Maybe to make me look at my life and all I still have. It’s not so bad, I guess.”
“Did the monster just say he wasn’t so bad?”
He smiled and kissed her stomach, then glided up along her body to fit himself against her lush curves. “What do you want from me, Olivia? From this?”
“Truth? I want to take it slow.”
“We haven’t exactly been taking things slowly.”
“I know, but what’s happened so far was a reaction and there’s nothing wrong with answering a mutual pining for connection. We were drawn to one another and neither of us overthought that attraction. I’m accustomed to tabloid relationships that aren’t even real. The paparazzi snap a shot of me walking with a male celebrity—usually someone I’m not dating or even considering dating—then slap it on the front of some rag stating we’re hot and heavy. A week later the headlines have us arguing, and a week after that we’ve broken up. I’m surprised I haven’t had a secret baby yet. I want to have a relationship that hasn’t been orchestrated by a tabloid. Something real.”
“I can understand that.”
“I know it’s tough to date a person whose life involves cameras and complete loss of privacy.”
“You do have a great little hideaway here.”
“Which I am thankful for. But it won’t last forever. Sooner or later the paparazzi will find me. Where do you live?”
“Here in Manhattan. Still got the thirtieth-floor bachelor pad. You’d get recognized in a heartbeat there.”
“I suppose. I have my official place on the other side of the park. But this place is my only real home.”
Daniel sat and arched his back as Olivia drew her fingers down it. It felt like home here, and he liked that fine. But he wouldn’t jump into things, and he appreciated Olivia’s honest confession that she wanted to take things slowly.
Had he the courage to begin something with her?
You’ve already begun.
The question was: Could he continue or would he wimp out and leave her high and dry? He’d never mastered the relationship thing. And slow? Had to be even harder to accomplish.
“Do you have to leave?” she asked.
He nodded, and assumed her silence meant she thought he was heading out to scam for blood. He wouldn’t argue the point.
OLIVIA WANDERED INTO the bathroom and turned on the shower to warm the water. Daniel had left quickly after she’d mentioned her designs on a real relationship. Did he think their tryst was just a few nights between the sheets? Had mentioning taking it slow repelled him?
She should have asked him if he had left to go drink blood. The question had felt too weird even thinking it, though.
“I want more,” she said to her reflection. “I need more of him. Can I have that?”
There were so many factors working against a positive answer to that question. And even if they managed to keep a tight lid on a relationship, there was always the fact Daniel couldn’t do press with her, which naturally, her manager would insist upon. Couldn’t keep the sexy man all to herself. Would he show in a photograph? And if he did, would the paparazzi catch him sneering at them one day, fangs bright and out there? What if they caught Daniel drinking someone’s blood? They followed her everywhere; they’d follow him.
No, Daniel would never get that close to the fanfare that surrounded her. For as much as she loved her job, it was a curse to her private life.
“I wonder how often he has to drink blood?” She stroked her breast where the day-old bite mark had, interestingly, already begun to fade. He hadn’t bitten her again. Because he hadn’t needed blood or because he hadn’t been interested in her blood? Did he not like the taste of her?
“Could he drink from me often without…killing me?”
A tilt of her head wondered at her brazen claiming of the vampire. Did she really know what she was getting into?
“I miss you, Mom. And I need your advice. There’s this guy, who I know you’d like, but…well, he has issues.”
She wanted Daniel to want her. As more than a Christmas liaison.
She’d give anything to make this work.
“Even blood?” she asked the mirror, and her reflection nodded.
A CALL FROM HER MANAGER was not unexpected, only not entirely appreciated during her vacation. Olivia set aside the pan of mulled wine as she wished Lisa a merry Christmas and asked the requisite questions about her children.
“They’re drooling to open presents,” Lisa replied in her rapid Jersey drawl that no six-shooter could outdraw. “I wanted to let you know I got a date for you tomorrow night.”
“A date? I don’t need—”
“I know, you never need anything. But you do need all the publicity you can get if you’re going to hit it big. And the performance is going to be aired on a major network that will feature background bios of the performers, along with candid shots of them backstage. Don’t you even want to know his name?”
Olivia’s silence was only allowed a split second before Lisa replied, “Parker Troy. Dude is hot, sexy, has a number-one single on Billboard right now, and he’s singing right after you tomorrow.”
The singer with whom Olivia hadn’t been able to commit to performing a duet. “Lisa, I—”
“It’s spin, Olivia. You show up on his arm. The paparazzi goes wild. We get a few shots of the two of you holding hands backstage. Then when we ask his manager to do the duet you’ve been dying to do with him, they agree.”
“I haven’t been dying to do—”
“It’s what your record label wants, Olivia, and that’s how we’ll spin it to Troy’s manager. You need to take the next step, to be seen, and this is the only way to do it. Oh, and you let him kiss you, too.”
Olivia gaped. She understood that putting two people together before the paparazzi was spin and that it could definitely help her career. But kiss the guy? He was handsome as all get-out, dated supermodels and actresses and was known to spend a fortune on them, but she had no interest in him romantically.
Lately, she preferred her men a little mysterious and sharper of tooth.
“Lisa, I don’t think I can do this. In fact, I know I can’t. I have—” A boyfriend? Not really. A lover, more like. But could she even claim that?
“No arguments, Olivia. And no avoiding this issue with indecision. It’s your next step. Parker is looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night.”
“It’s just a clutch and a cheek kiss,” Olivia said. “I’m not going home with the guy.”
“Why? He’s the most adorable thing you could put between two slices of bread.”
Lisa and her weird analogies about handsome men. They were crushable, lickable, swimmable or sandwich-worthy.
“We’ll talk more tomorrow night,” Lisa said. “I gotta go. The puppy is tearing a package open!”
The phone clicked off, and Olivia tossed her cell phone toward the couch. Every part of her being cringed and shuddered as if finally her fears over a vampire had arisen, except the only bloodsuckers involved were mortals with dollars signs in
their eyes.
She poured a cup of the mulled wine and sat before the kitchen counter, but couldn’t drink the spicy brew. Pressing her forehead to the counter, she kicked herself inwardly for not standing up to Lisa. Screw the duet. She didn’t need that kind of press. Her mother would not have approved. Maybe. She didn’t know anymore. When she looked over her shoulder there was no one standing there to offer a nod and confidence.
But what mattered even more: What would Daniel think?
And why did she care?
“You care because he means something to you.”
She only wished she meant the same to him.
DANIEL WATCHED THE CLOUDS move over the moon, which looked full, but he knew tomorrow was the night. The woman who had fallen asleep in his arms had done so only because he smelled vodka on her breath and suspected the entire pint sloshed in her belly now. She was desperate, and he didn’t blame her. But alcohol wasn’t the answer.
Slipping away from her, he rubbed his head and then squeezed his temples, wishing he could make it all better with a snap of his fingers. But that wasn’t the answer, either. Nothing was worth it without a fight and good hard work. Tomorrow night would try his skills in ways he couldn’t imagine. What skills? Mortality retaining powers? Hell.
He pushed open the gate and spied the two girls sleeping on a wooden bench in front of the old apartment building beside which their mother had passed out. He’d once offered to put them up in the hotel down the street but the mother had refused, and the oldest girl had stood by her mother. They frequented a local shelter. The little one wouldn’t have minded; he knew that.
“See you tomorrow night, girls,” he said, and the oldest thanked him then nodded back to sleep.
What kind of world allowed things like that to happen? Hell, allowed vampires to walk the earth? It was just wrong. He was wrong.
But he’d be damned if he’d let the wrong continue.
His anger rising, he fought to keep it to a simmer. He didn’t need to go around punching in heads or flashing his fangs because his world wasn’t right. He needed grounding.
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