No doubt she had been oozing with pity when she said it. “Felty tells me she was on the roof this morning.”
“I told her you wouldn’t like it, but she refused to get down.”
Noah reminded himself that he didn’t care if Mandy fell and broke her neck. If she was going to be stubborn, she could suffer the consequences. That didn’t keep dread from creeping into his bones.
Yost turned off the stove, covered the pan, and moved it to a cool burner. “I thought I might as well put her to work if she was going to be so insistent about it. I hope you’re not mad.”
Of course he was mad. What could he do about it?
“She caught on real well to the nail gun, and she’s a fast worker. Once she got the hang of things, she was a big help.”
That first day on Huckleberry Hill, she’d been so eager to help with the stove. He wasn’t sure why he had agreed to let her, unless it was those cute freckles that tempted him in a moment of weakness. She proved she could wield his tools with skill. He’d been completely impressed and completely undone.
“The only bad thing is that she talked and talked. She wanted to know my opinion on wedding plate colors. I don’t know anything about wedding plate colors. Do you?”
Not much except that Mandy wanted her wedding plates to be pink and blue. The ache in his chest grew. Pink and blue would be real nice for a wedding.
“Did the wind give you trouble?”
“A little, but it died down in the afternoon. Mandy and I should be able to finish by Thursday.”
Mandy and I. It sounded like they were a couple, a team. Friends. “Just don’t tell her any secrets.”
Yost retrieved a quart bottle of chowchow from the fridge and peered at Noah. “I know you’re mad at her because she told her friend about Dat and the bar, but I think she’s a wonderful-gute girl. She’s prettier than a bluebird and very sweet. And she makes gute fried chicken. Is it worth rejecting her just because she gossips about people? All girls gossip.”
“She knew how important the secret was to me. She wanted to hurt me. It wasn’t harmless gossip.”
“Still,” Yost said, “if I didn’t have a strict policy of not dating girls my brother has dated, I’d take her to a gathering. She has freckles.”
Noah should have put his brother’s mind at ease—Oh, I don’t care if you date Mandy Helmuth. She’s nothing to me—but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t pretend that it didn’t matter who Mandy went out with. There was only one boy he wanted Mandy to date, and he hated himself for wishing it.
He squared his shoulders and shook off his sour mood. Yost needed to stay away from Mandy for Yost’s own protection. What secrets of his would she eventually spill?
“Would you do something for me, Yost?”
“Sure.”
“Don’t let Mandy on the roof anymore. She’ll get hurt.”
“I’ll do what I can, but I won’t promise anything.”
“I guess she’ll do precisely what she wants to. She always does.”
Yost sighed and wiped his hands on a dish towel. “Did you fix the egg sorter?”
“Jah, and the Bielers’ sewing machine and the Kings’ water heater. On the way home I stopped by Baker’s and looked at his car. He needs a new battery.”
“You want to set the table?” Yost said, pulling two plates from the cupboard.
“Where’s Dat?”
Yost slumped his shoulders and frowned. “Gone.”
Noah understood the meaning behind the look. “Gone” could only mean one thing.
“I’m sorry, Noah.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“This time I think it is. I tried to talk to him.”
Noah clenched his teeth. “About what?”
“I told him he was ruining our lives with his drinking. I told him if he loved us kinner and Mamm that he’d give it up so we could come home.”
Noah bowed his head. “Oh, Yost.”
“I shouldn’t have said anything, but I came home and he was just sitting there waiting for one of us to get home and cook him dinner. After working like a dog all day, I didn’t think he deserved it, and I told him so. How can you stand it, Noah? It makes me sick.”
“What did he do?”
Yost set the plates on the table. “He threw his kaffe mug at me and started yelling like I’ve never seen. Then he left.”
“You shouldn’t provoke him like that.”
“I know,” Yost said, “but I couldn’t just go along like nothing was wrong. Everything is wrong, Noah. Everything.”
“Nae, that’s not true. I have things under control. I know how to handle him.”
“You never really had control, Noah. You’ve got to hand it over to God.”
Before Noah could give Yost the same arguments he’d given Mandy, he felt his cell phone vibrate in his back pocket. He pulled it out and looked at the screen. The call he was expecting, but three or four hours too early. His stomach dropped to the floor.
“Hullo,” he said.
Yost riveted his attention to Noah’s face. Noah must have been wearing a very dark look.
“Noah? It’s Pete. Look, I’m real sorry. He was here before the shift change. I didn’t realize how much he’d already had.”
Noah’s whole body felt heavy with the burden of holding up his dat. “Is he throwing pretzels?”
“You gotta believe I’m real sorry. He passed out on the floor. A couple of guys helped me haul him to the buggy. I’m real sorry, but if the authorities knew I’d served somebody enough drinks to pass out, they’d shut me down.”
Noah’s pulsed raced. “Where is my dat, Pete?”
“He’s in his buggy. In the parking lot, but you gotta get him to the hospital. He’s still breathing, but I don’t know how much he had before I got here. That’s the thing. People can die of alcohol poisoning.”
“Call an ambulance.”
“I’m real sorry, Noah. You gotta come down here and get him. If the authorities found out, I’d be in big trouble. You understand, don’t you?”
Noah pressed the END button and cut Pete off. His mind raced, and he felt sick to his stomach like he always did when Pete called. Except this time, he might be violently ill.
“Is it Dat?” Yost asked.
“He passed out in his buggy,” Noah said.
Yost’s eyes flashed with pain. The kind of pain Noah felt every time he made a trip into town to get his dat. “We need to go get him.”
Noah nodded. Maybe he should have felt guilty about it, but in his head, he calculated how much an ambulance and a visit to the emergency room might cost. The numbers slipped from his brain as if they were grains of sand in a sieve. It didn’t matter the price. He would not be responsible for his fater’s death. He’d find a way to pay for it. “I’m going to call an ambulance.”
“Why?”
“Pete says he could stop breathing.”
Yost snatched his jacket from the hook next to Noah’s. “You call. I’ll hitch up the buggy. We can meet the ambulance at the hospital.”
Noah braced a hand on Yost’s shoulder. “It’ll be ugly.”
Yost wrapped his fingers around Noah’s forearm and gave him a somber, no-nonsense look. “Maybe it’s about time you shared some of the ugliness with me.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Noah glanced up at the threatening sky and filled his lungs with the crisp air. A thunderstorm was rolling in from the west, sure as you’re born. Good thing Yost had finished the roof yesterday. The Helmuths wouldn’t need to worry about a leaky roof, and Noah wouldn’t have to worry about Mandy breaking her neck.
He put Yost’s suitcase in the trunk. “Have you got the money and the letter for Mamm?”
Yost nodded. “I still don’t feel good about taking half the roof money. You did most of the work.”
“It wouldn’t have gotten finished without you.”
“Me and Mandy.”
“I knew you wouldn’t be able to keep her o
n the ground,” Noah said. “At least she won’t have a reason to get on the roof again.”
Yost smirked. “She was only up there those three days. And I kept a close eye.”
“It’s a real blessing that you came into town when you did. For more reasons than one.”
Yost slung his arm around Noah’s neck. “Don’t forget the reason I came into town.”
Noah ignored the stab of pain right between his ribs. “I should have written to you myself a long time ago.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I guess I was afraid you wouldn’t come.” You don’t want to let people into your life. You’d rather run away.
Noah clenched his teeth. If he could just get Mandy out of his head, he’d be able to think more clearly.
Yost put his other arm around Noah, and they squeezed the wind out of each other. “Is it ever going to change, Noah? Will Dat stop drinking? Will we ever be able to come back?”
Noah pinched his eyes shut. Dat was never going to change. And Noah would give his life over to his dat because he couldn’t risk giving it over to anybody else. Trusting your heart to another person hurt too much. He didn’t need or want it.
“He’s not drinking as much as three years ago. It’s been better lately.”
Yost grunted derisively. “Better? I was at the hospital, Noah. Is that what ‘better’ looks like?”
Noah turned his face from his brother. He pictured his dat, pale and delirious, lying in that hospital bed with an oxygen mask over his face and formidable tubes and wires attached to his body. The doctor had warned Noah that if his dat didn’t stop drinking, there’d be more terrifying visits to the emergency room. More bills to pay. More shame to bear.
Noah thanked the Lord that no one from the community had seen them. Mandy hadn’t appeared out of nowhere to stick her nose into his business. All in all, it had turned out okay. Noah rubbed his eyelid, where his black eye was just a memory. Was he imagining things, or did he always feel better with Mandy’s nose in his business? He diverted his thoughts away from that place in his head where Mandy lingered. The ache was unbearable.
“We’re going to be okay,” Noah finally said. “From now on, I’ll watch him more carefully. Dat won’t let it go that far again. He likes the hospital less than I do.”
Yost didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t press the issue. There was nothing he could do about it anyway. Surely it was obvious to him that the answer was no. He and Mamm and the siblings were never going to be able to come back.
Noah pulled Yost in for one more bone-crushing bear hug. “I love you, broodah.”
“I’ll come in January and bring Lisa.”
“I’d like that,” Noah said. A visit would be welcome after another lonely and miserable Christmas. And a lonely and miserable autumn, made extra miserable by the hole in his heart left by Mandy Helmuth.
Yost climbed in the passenger seat. Noah went to the driver’s side of the car and handed Peggy some money.
“Thanks, Noah,” Peggy said, stuffing the cash into her purse as if she were shoving trash into the garbage can.
“Thanks for taking my brother to the bus.”
She smiled. “Call me anytime. Ralph is making me crazy.” Ralph was Peggy’s husband, and he’d just retired. Word was that he dogged Peggy’s every step during the day because he didn’t know what to do with all his free time.
Peggy draped her arm across the steering wheel and furrowed her brow. “How’s your dat doing?”
Noah felt his shoulders tense. What did Peggy care about his dat? What did she know about his dat? “He’s fine. He’s been making lots of baskets for the gift shop in Green Bay.”
“I love those baskets,” Peggy said. “I’ve got four of them at home yet.” She fiddled with the keys in her hand. “I don’t mean to pry or anything. I was just wondering how he’s been doing since that night at the bar a couple of weeks ago. My dad struggled with the bottle. I know how hard it is.”
“It’s real hard,” Yost said.
Noah pushed the words from between his clenched teeth. “Mandy told you about that?”
“Told me? I was there. The three of us saw it. I took Kristina home while Mandy stayed to help.”
Noah didn’t mean to stutter, but his surprise rendered speech nearly impossible. “Kri . . . Kristina was with you?”
“We drove by just as you came out of the bar with your dat. We saw him sock you in the mouth. I haven’t told a soul.” She reached out of the car and placed a hand on his arm. “As far as I know, nobody else saw but us, and Mandy made Kristina promise not to tell anybody what we’d seen. I’m sorry if I upset you. I just hope the best for your dat.”
The world swirled around his head like a swarm of yellow jackets, only louder. Kristina knew about the night at the bar because she’d been there, not because Mandy had told her. Mandy hadn’t broken her promise. She hadn’t betrayed his trust.
He felt dizzy with relief.
He felt sick with remorse.
He’d chastised her, yelled at her, rejected her for something she hadn’t done. He was a fool. A stupid, self-righteous, indignant fool who couldn’t see past his own troubles. The world did not revolve around him, as he sometimes behaved like it did.
He couldn’t form a reply to what Peggy had told him. He merely stepped away from the car and raised his arm in the air in what passed for a wave. He didn’t even see them leave. His sight was already turned inward to the small pebble that was his heart. The thought that he might have already lost Mandy shattered the pebble into a thousand pieces, sending shards of stone into his chest and making his bones ache.
He had to apologize.
Now.
It had been a simple, stupid mistake. Would she forgive him? Would she let him back into her heart? Hope spread through his veins like warm honey. He loved her. Surely she wouldn’t reject that.
He marched into the house with a greater sense of purpose than he’d ever felt. He’d need something spectacularly delicious to soften her up.
What could he do with half a gallon of milk and ajar of pickles?
Chapter Twenty-Two
As far as Mandy could tell, there was only one leak in the barn roof, and it appeared almost directly over her head. She shifted her milking stool to the right so she wouldn’t get dripped on and kept right on milking. Dawdi might need to hire Noah to fix the barn roof next. He would probably be glad for the work. Her heart felt as heavy as a bucket of milk. He’d be glad for the work after Thursday, when Mandy wouldn’t be here to bother him.
With only the sounds of the rhythmic ping-ping of the milk in the bucket and the occasional swish of Iris’s tail, the inside of the barn seemed eerily quiet buried beneath the sound of the rain pounding on the roof outside. Good thing she’d brought the umbrella. She’d be soaked to the skin if she tried to make it back to the house without one.
Thunder rumbled in the distance, and Iris took a stuttering step forward. She turned her head as if to figure out what Mandy was doing back there. Mandy put a comforting hand on Iris’s belly and cooed until Iris stopped fussing.
Mandy usually found the sound of rain comforting. Like a river tripping against the boulders or waves lapping against the shore at the lake, there was something peaceful about the sound of rushing water. But today, drops pelting the roof only reminded her of the sound of Noah’s work boots clonking overhead as he had worked on Mammi and Dawdi’s roof.
She sniffed and stubbornly blinked back a delinquent tear that threatened to escape. Noah didn’t love her, didn’t trust her. He didn’t even particularly like her. She shouldn’t waste one drop of water on that boy.
She finished with the milking and let Iris loose. Mandy’s breath hung in the moist, pungent air of the barn as she opened her umbrella, tightened her coat around her, and picked up her bucket of milk. She’d miss Bonduel more than she’d ever admit to Mammi. She had many relatives here whom she loved dearly, as well as her best friend Kristina. And after a g
ute long time, she’d even fondly remember her time with Noah, even though he hadn’t turned out to be the boy she’d thought he was. Even though he’d twisted her heart beyond recognition when she’d only wanted to help.
Before she could reach the handle, the door of the barn opened a crack. Her heart banged against her chest as Noah stuck his head inside. Water dripped off his hat, and his shirt looked to be soaked through.
She exhaled slowly. Didn’t he know what an umbrella was? “You’re going to catch your death of cold,” she said.
Holding a plastic grocery bag in one hand, he slid into the barn, shut the door, and took off his hat. He hung it on a nail that already held a gute piece of rope and a horse bridle. He glanced at her tentatively as he wiped some of the moisture from his face with his equally wet sleeve.
Instinctively, she took a step back. She never wanted to be caught close to Noah Mischler again. “What are you doing here?”
He winced. She must have sounded as wounded as she felt. “Oh. Mandy . . . I’m really . . . Oh sis yuscht, I’m really sorry.”
He might not have liked her very much, but the pain in his brown eyes was real enough. She resisted the urge to try to fix it for him, but she softened her expression, put down her bucket of milk, and collapsed her umbrella as a sign that she was at least willing to remain in the barn while he explained himself. She could always bolt if he tried to make her feel guilty.
He held out the bag, probably wanting her to come closer to take it so he wouldn’t have to strain his throat when he yelled at her. “I made these for you.”
“Why?”
His eyes pleaded with her. “To tell you I’m sorry about what I said.”
She was tempted to raise an eyebrow as a sign that she didn’t believe him, but it wasn’t in her heart to be cynical. And it certainly wasn’t in her heart to hurt him, though surely it would be impossible to do that, knowing how he felt about her. She finally gave in and took the bag. She let it dangle from her fingers as if she couldn’t have cared less what was inside. “It doesn’t matter, Noah. I’ll be gone in less than a week.”
Huckleberry Harvest (The Matchmakers of Huckleberry Hill Book 5) Page 30