Bareback

by D. Jackson Leigh

  *

  It was nearly midnight when the Virginia border came in sight and Skyler realized that Jess hadn’t called. She was tired and worried and she really needed to hear her lover’s voice. She felt around in the darkness of the truck cab for her phone. She’d set it in the double cup holder next to the cola she’d picked up at a drive-thru hours earlier. She flipped it open, but it did not light up. It felt sticky. She reached into the cup holder. It was full of cola. Great.Jess had probably been trying to call, but her phone had drowned.

  Skyler wasn’t anxious to stop anywhere this late at night since she was alone. Because the big truck had double diesel tanks, she didn’t need to stop for fuel. Jess was probably asleep, anyway, and Skyler didn’t want to disturb her rest; she would need to be fresh for her training tomorrow. I’ll just call her first thing in the morning.

  It was two-thirty a.m. when Skyler fell into her bed at the Creek Barn. The last thought that drifted through her mind before she slipped into an exhausted slumber was how empty the bed felt without Jessica next to her.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Sky?” Tory’s voice was sleepy. “What are you doing back here? I thought you guys were in Southern Pines.”

  “One of the kids here at the center had a personal emergency. Hopefully, I’ll be headed back this afternoon. Tory, are you aware of any injections Jess may be giving Rampage?”

  “Injections?”

  “One of the barn security guards found a used syringe in the tack room trash can. I did a little looking around and found a bottle of Carbocaine and some syringes in Jess’s dressing trunk. I haven’t had a chance to talk to her. Did she get that from you?”

  “Carbocaine,” Tory repeated. “Sky. My brain isn’t awake yet. What time is it?”

  “It’s almost six.” Tory was silent for so long Skyler wondered if she’d fallen back to sleep. “Tory?”

  “I hope I’m wrong about this… How’s Jess’s knee been doing lately?”

  “Well, it’s bruised pretty badly and she’s having to ice it constantly to keep the swelling down. She gets pissed if I make too big a deal about it, so I let it go because it doesn’t seem to bother her too much. It just looks bad.”

  “I’m afraid I may be right, then. I’ll bet my bottom dollar that she has been injecting that knee to deaden the pain. That’s why it doesn’t seem to bother her. She’s probably slowly shredding that ACL graft, and it’s going to just rip in two at some point. She’ll tear her whole knee out.”

  “Damn it. I knew I should have insisted she see a doctor. All we’ve been thinking about was getting her and Rampage ready for the trials.”

  “Don’t blame yourself,” Tory said. “Jess is an adult.”

  “But I do blame myself. Shit, I’m probably the only one she couldn’t hide the bruising from. Maybe I just didn’t want to see what was happening.”

  “Well, I may be to blame, too. I thought there were a few bottles of Carbocaine missing from my truck supplies, but the stuff is so cheap that nobody keeps close tabs on it. I figured I was just mistaken or one of the other vets borrowed some out of my truck. She may have helped herself to a few bottles. She must be injecting that knee two and three times a day to keep walking around on it.”

  “God, Tory. She’s going to jump Rampage this afternoon.”

  “Call Kate,” Tory said emphatically. “Tell her not to let her near the ring, or on that horse, until you and I can get down there. You don’t need to give her any details, just tell her to wait for one of us.”

  “What if we’re wrong? Jess will hate us.”

  Tory was silent for a long moment. “Okay. I’m going to shift my appointments to one of my associates. Did you say you were headed back today?”

  “I’m hoping to, but I don’t know how soon. It will be noon at the earliest. I may not be able to wrap things up here until tonight. Either way, it will be too late to stop her this afternoon.”

  “Okay. I’ll leave this morning. If it takes three hours, I should be there by noon or one o’clock. I’ll make her show me the knee before I accuse her of anything. I’m not a doctor, but I should be able to tell if she’s injecting it with an anesthetic.”

  Skyler breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Tory. Thanks for being such a good friend.”

  “You owe me.”

  “Anything I have is yours…except my girlfriend.” Skyler chuckled.

  Tory laughed, too. “See you in Southern Pines tonight.”

  *

  Susan Beck was at the door when their truck pulled into the driveway. A thin, pale woman, her face was haggard and her eyes red from crying. More tears streamed down her face when she saw Jamie’s face and arm. She held the door as they filed in and gestured for them to sit in the living room, never meeting their eyes.

  Carol, the center’s social worker, made the introductions, then said, “Mrs. Beck, we need to talk about what’s going to happen to Jamie until your husband returns.”

  “You must think I’m a monster,” Susan muttered.

  “Mrs. Beck, we don’t think you are a monster. We just think you need some help,” Skyler said. “Jamie is important to all of us at the equestrian center. She has been with us every afternoon for more than two years. We feel like she’s part of our family, and we’d like to help if you’ll let us.”

  “You aren’t going to take my little girl away from me, are you?”

  “Mrs. Beck, considering your bouts of depression that you self-medicate with alcohol, the state doesn’t feel Jamie should be left with you until her father has returned,” Carol said firmly.

  Mrs. Beck looked timidly at Jamie. “Are you afraid of your own mother?”

  After an encouraging nod from Skyler, Jamie stood up and went over to lay her head on her mother’s shoulder. “I love you, Mom. But you hurt me when you drink. Skyler says you can’t help it because you get so depressed when Dad isn’t here.”

  The woman looked at Skyler and choked back a sob.

  “Mrs. Beck,” Skyler said softly. “All families have their problems. Jamie has told me how much she loves you and her dad, so Kate Parker has made some arrangements we hope you’ll agree to.”

  The woman shifted uneasily in her chair, doubt darkening her face.

  “Please, Mom, just listen to Skyler,” Jamie pleaded.

  Skyler set out the plan they’d arrived at with Kate’s attorney, George Brumley. “We’ve made arrangements for you to be admitted to a private rehab facility. It’s free of charge, paid for by the center’s discretionary funds. While you’re in the hospital, Jamie can stay at the center.”

  Mrs. Beck glanced nervously around the room. “I don’t know what to do without your father here to help me decide.”

  “Please, Mom,” Jamie pleaded softly. Tears began to run down her cheeks. “If you don’t, they’re going to put me in some foster home. Please let me stay with Sky and Kate at the farm.”

  “Mrs. Beck,” Skyler pressed, “we’ve brought some papers you’ll have to sign to satisfy the state. They give Kate temporary guardianship over Jamie until your husband returns or you are dismissed from the hospital. It’s legally necessary for her to stay at the center.”

  The woman frowned and twisted a handkerchief she held in her hands. “A kid’s a big responsibility. Why would you want to be responsible for someone else’s kid?”

  “Because the Parker family cared enough to help me out when I was a kid and now it’s time for me to help Jamie. My mother wasn’t worth saving and wouldn’t take their help. But Jamie says you are a good mother. She wants you to get better.”

  Desperate sadness showed on Susan’s face as she looked at her battered daughter. “Oh, baby. I can’t believe I hurt you like that. I really can’t remember any of it.” She looked down at her hands again. “I’m so scared.”

  Jamie straightened her shoulders, obviously accustomed to playing the adult in her father’s absence. “I know this is what Dad would want you to do.”

  Carol also pro
dded. “Mrs. Beck, you and Jamie are very lucky that Kate Parker is offering this.”

  After a long moment, Susan looked up at Jamie, but spoke to the adults. “Give me the papers. I’ll sign.”

  *

  “You better get up, missy, and get that hangover under control,” Kate ordered. “We’re expecting a visitor.”

  “A visitor?” Jessica carefully sat up and held her aching head in her hands, trying to recall the previous evening. She only remembered having two drinks. Note to self: don’t mix pain pills and alcohol ever again. “Where’s Sky?”

  “She had an emergency and had to go back to Cherokee Falls last night. She’ll be back later.”

  “What’s the time?” Jessica fixed her gaze blearily on the radio alarm clock next to her bed. “Oh, my God. It’s after twelve. I have to get to the barn. We’re in the jump ring at four and Rampage has been standing in his stall all morning.”

  The hangover was making her queasy enough, but the sudden memory of Skyler staring at the syringe in her hand ratcheted her nausea up a notch and she quickly lurched out of bed and staggered to the bathroom. After she’d retched a few times, she collapsed over the counter, groaning in pain. Her knee was agonizing.

  “I have to talk to Skyler,” she called, but her room was empty. Kate had gone back into the other bedroom in the suite.

  Panting, Jessica leaned against the doorway, beads of perspiration gathering across her forehead. At least she was alone. She went back into the bathroom, locked the door, and pulled a bottle of Carbocaine from her cosmetics bag. She had to inject her knee more often now. Once a day was not enough.

  She’d just settled onto the bed and covered her rapidly numbing knee with ice packs when there was a light knock at the door. “It’s open,” she called.

  To her astonishment Tory Greyson walked into the room. “Hey, Jess. How’s it going?”

  Jessica frowned. “What are you doing here?”

  “That knee hurting you that much?” Tory asked, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. Before Jessica realized what Tory was after, the ice bags were pulled aside. “Christ. This looks bad. I may be a vet, but I’m not stupid. It doesn’t take an orthopedic surgeon to see what kind of shape this is in.”

  She probed the bruised and swollen knee, but Jessica didn’t flinch. “See? It doesn’t hurt.”

  Tory wasn’t buying it. “If you were a horse, I’d have to shoot you.” She stood and went into the bathroom. A short while later, she returned holding up the evidence, a bottle of anesthetic and some syringes. “I don’t guess it would hurt if you were keeping it numb with this.”

  Jessica didn’t answer.

  Tory tossed the bottles onto the bed. “The barn security guard found one of your syringes in the trash and asked Skyler if she was doping your horse.”

  “Oh, God.” Jessica’s stomach churned.

  “Yes, that could get her officially banned from the circuit this time, and even Kate couldn’t help her,” Tory said crisply. “So, she started looking around. She found the Carbocaine in your tack trunk and called me to find out if we were treating Rampage for something. She thought you and I might be hiding a condition from her. It took me a bit to figure out what was really going on, but I did. And I told her what I thought.”

  Fear welled up in Jessica’s throat and threatened to choke her. This wasn’t how she’d wanted things to go. She wanted to confess, but Tory was a step ahead of her. Everything was spiraling out of her control, just like the moment lightning struck as she and Racer were clearing the water jump. This could not be happening again.

  “She knows everything?” Jessica whispered.

  “She didn’t want to accuse you falsely. She wanted all the facts. She couldn’t get here before tonight, and she was scared you’d blow that knee out jumping Rampage this afternoon. That’s why I’m here. I came down to stop you.”

  “Are you going to tell Mom and Kate?”

  “No, you’re going to tell them,” Tory said firmly. “Right before we load you up and take you to see a doctor this afternoon.”

  “No!”

  “What do you mean, no, Jess? You don’t have a choice. You can’t keep abusing yourself.”

  Jessica’s face was red with controlled fury. “I’ve come too far and worked too hard to back out now.” She kept her voice low so Kate and Laura wouldn’t overhear them from the next room. “I’ve been numbing this knee for months. There’s no reason to think it won’t hold out another week until the competition is over.”

  “Jess, this is madness,” Tory argued. “Even if you make the team, this knee isn’t going to hold out for you to train for the actual Olympics.”

  Jessica grabbed Tory by the collar. Her blue eyes were icy. “If you tell Kate, she’ll pull Rampage from the competition. She can do that because she owns the majority interest in him. And, I swear, Tory, you do anything to stop me from competing and I will never speak to you again. Ever. It’s not illegal for me to anesthetize my knee, so I’m not breaking any rules.”

  Tory was dumbfounded by Jessica’s blunt ultimatum. After a moment, she threw her hands up. “Whatever. I tried. I’ll just let you and Sky duke it out when she gets here. In the meantime, I’ll hang close to pick you up when you rip through every ligament in that knee.” She stalked to the door, before turning back for one last word. “You’re making a bad decision here, Jess. I think Skyler is going to be very disappointed in you.”

  Jessica lay back on the pillows and sobbed after Tory left the room. Tory had no idea how her words had hit home.

  *

  Jessica strode into the barn with grim determination. She stopped at Rampage’s stall door and looked into his dark liquid eyes. She took several deep breaths, clearing her mind of anything but him. He didn’t deserve to feel her pain. He needed to feel her confidence. Deep breaths. Relax. Rampage needs to feel relaxed.

  She gave the stallion a soft smile. “Hey, buddy. Ready to do some jumping? I know you are. It’s your favorite thing.” She began a one-sided conversation meant to reassure herself as much as her mount. “We’re going to sail over those jumps like we have wings. You and me, buddy. We’re going to show them a dressage horse that knows how to jump.”

  A brooding Tory gave her a leg up, and walked beside them to the jumping arena. Kate and Laura were already sitting in the stands, watching as Sarah put her mare over the jumps. They weren’t happy that she was riding, after hearing that Skyler was concerned, but they didn’t know what was going on.

  Jessica warmed Rampage up in a nearby outdoor ring while she waited their turn. She closed her eyes and absorbed the smooth, calming rhythm of the stallion moving through his gaits underneath her. His strength and control radiated through her. She concentrated on losing herself in the feeling. We can do this, buddy. We’re the best. We’re going to fly! She didn’t look at Sarah as they passed each other at the arena entrance. She saw nothing but the jumps ahead and felt nothing but the twelve hundred pounds of muscle under her.

  Relaxed and focused, Rampage sailed gracefully over the first jump. He was eager, and Jessica had to work to pace him over the course of seventeen jumps. The wall, the combination, and even the parallel oxer were no contest to the powerful horse. Another crowd began to gather. News of Rampage’s performance on the previous day had spread fast. Sarah, still mounted, watched from the ring entrance.

  Despite the anesthesia, pain radiated through Jessica’s leg with each jump. They rounded the end of the arena to approach the tallest and most difficult of the obstacles, the vertical jump. Jessica blocked the pain from her mind and expertly guided Rampage’s approach. Be my hero and let’s jump this one big, buddy!

  The stallion responded eagerly to the urging telegraphed through Jessica’s hands. He gathered his body and, like a giant spring, rose upward and neatly tucked his feet to clear it with inches to spare. Jessica smiled as she felt them airborne. She shifted her weight to absorb the impact of their landing, but when she felt Rampage’s front hooves hit
the dirt, she also heard the popping of her knee. She pitched over the stallion’s right shoulder and slammed to the ground, knocking the wind from her lungs. Her head was screaming at the pain in her leg, but she couldn’t catch her breath to vocalize her agony.

  Rampage came trotting back around, tossing his head and rolling his eyes wildly. He snorted uncertainly as Jessica writhed silently on the ground. Tory, Kate, and Laura, as well as a handful of onlookers, hurried into the arena. But Rampage circled his rider, bucking as they approached. Jessica began to catch her breath and moaned at the pain, clutching at her thigh. Her distress antagonized the stallion. He laid his ears back and shook his head at the people trying to get to his mistress.

  “Whoa, Rampage,” Tory crooned to him. “Settle down, boy, we just want to help.” She approached slowly but when she reached for his reins, the stallion lunged at her with teeth bared. Tory barely dodged as he tore a long rip in the sleeve of her shirt. The other well-meaning people who had followed them in the arena retreated…all but Sarah.

  “Let me try,” she offered. “He let me close to him yesterday without trying to bite.”

  “At this point, I’ll try anything,” Tory said. “If you can’t catch him, I’ll have to dart him with a tranquilizer. I’d rather not have to wait that long to get Jess to the hospital.”

  Sarah nodded and moved slowly toward Rampage. The stallion snorted at her approach and laid his ears flat against his neck. “Hey, Rampage. Remember me? You liked me the other day,” she said softly. “I just want to help Jessica. I know you think you’re protecting her, but you need to let us help.”

  The stallion’s ears came up and twitched forward at her voice. He looked puzzled and lowered his head to snuffle Jessica’s head. Sarah moved slowly but confidently to his side. Rampage started to pull away when she reached for his bridle, but yielded when he felt her grasp on the reins. She led him some distance away from where Jessica lay moaning, and Tory, Kate and Laura rushed over.