‘I know that making money can never equate with saving lives. That’s what you’re trained to do, in case you’ve forgotten. You save people’s lives. You care for them when they’re sick and you make them better.’
He glanced around the beautifully appointed office with its stunning view over the River Thames and she could see the contempt on his face when he turned back to her. ‘Can you honestly say that what you’re doing now is more important than that? Because if you can, you’re not the woman I thought you were.’
Natalie felt a stabbing pain pierce her heart. Was her worth only to be measured by the number of lives she saved? She pushed back her chair and stood up, unwilling to sit there and listen to anything else.
‘You’ve said what you came to say and now I think you should leave.’
‘I’m not leaving until I get a proper answer from you.’
‘No, what you mean, Rafferty, is that you’re not leaving until I agree with you. That’s why you came, isn’t it? Because you intended to…bully me into falling in with your wishes!’
‘Bully you?’
He looked taken aback by the accusation but it was of little consolation. She couldn’t believe how painful it was to know that he valued her more as a nurse than a woman. Even though they’d never been able to resolve their differences about her family’s fortune, the one thought she’d clung to had been that it had proved he’d loved her for herself. Now even that was in doubt, it seemed.
‘What else would you call it? Coming here and demanding that I admit I was wrong to help my father…That’s typical bullying tactics in my eyes.’
‘I didn’t say that you were wrong to help your father.’
‘No?’ She laughed shortly, too hurt to take a rational view of events. ‘It sounded like it to me, but maybe I’m wrong about that, too. We can’t all be as perfect as you, Rafferty, unfortunately.’
‘I’m far from perfect,’ he ground out. ‘I’ve made more mistakes in my life than I can count. That’s why I can’t bear to see you making a mistake like this. You shouldn’t be here, Natalie. You should be doing the work you’re trained to do, not playing the big executive in this fancy office.’
‘I’m not playing, I assure you. I admit that I’m having to learn the job as I go along, and that I shall never be anywhere near as good at it as my father is. But I do my best and, despite what you believe, it makes a difference to people’s lives, just in a different way.’
‘By clinching deals and making money?’ He laughed harshly. ‘Not quite the cutting edge kind of work you’re used to, but maybe you’ve forgotten what it’s like to work at the sharp end. Maybe you need a reminder of what’s really important in this life.’
‘I don’t need any reminders, thank you very much.’
‘I disagree. It’s obvious that somewhere during the past three months you’ve lost your way. The question now is whether you have the guts to do something about it.’
‘What do you mean by that?’
‘Prove that you know what you’re doing by coming on our next aid mission. If you still feel that working here is more important after that then I swear that I’ll never try to persuade you to change your mind again. Are you up to it, though, Natalie? That’s the big question.’
Rafferty held his breath. Even though he’d never planned on issuing such a challenge when he’d set out that morning, he realised all of a sudden that it might be the only way to make her see sense. If he could get her back into the field, she’d soon realise what was important to her…
‘Was that a challenge?’
Her tone was clipped and he winced at the supercilious note it held. It was unheard of for Natalie to speak to anyone that way. Despite her background, she had never put on airs and graces and had always treated everyone in the same friendly fashion. He must have really upset her to arouse such a response and it didn’t make him feel good to know that. He had to console himself with the thought that he was doing this for her own benefit.
‘If you prefer to see it as a challenge, it’s fine by me.’
‘And if I accept, what are you going to do in return?’
She walked around the desk and sat down on one of the low leather sofas in front of the window. Rafferty felt a wave of heat shoot through him as he watched her settle herself comfortably against the cushions. She was wearing a pale grey suit which he knew without needing to see the label must have come from some exclusive designer’s collection. The jacket fitted her like a glove, moulding her full breasts and offering a tantalising glimpse of cleavage when she bent forward to help herself to a grape from the fruit bowl on the coffee-table. It was obvious that she wasn’t wearing anything under the jacket apart from a bra and his body responded in time-honoured fashion to the knowledge.
‘Why should I need to do anything?’ he countered, hoping she couldn’t tell what was happening to him.
‘Because it’s only fair, of course.’
She popped the grape into her mouth and crossed her legs. It was done with the utmost decorum but he had to stifle a groan when he heard the whisper of silk. Although most women didn’t bother wearing stockings nowadays, Natalie had always preferred to wear them. In fact, they’d enjoyed many a happy hour divesting her of them…
‘If I accept your challenge, you should accept mine. Unless you’re too scared, of course.’
That got his immediate attention. Rafferty blanked out the delicious images that had been playing inside his head and stared at her. ‘I’m not scared, Natalie. If the only way to make you see sense is by accepting your challenge, I’ll do it.’
‘Good. That’s what I hoped you’d say.’
She stood up and came towards him, stopping so close that he could feel the warmth of her body all down the length of his. Trying to control his rioting libido at that point was a waste of time so he gave up. If she was deliberately trying to torment him, she was making a damn good job of it, he thought ruefully.
‘I’ll expect you tonight at six. Don’t be late. It really isn’t good form to arrive after the main guest. Oh, and you’ll need a dinner jacket, too. I’d hate you to feel embarrassed by not being properly dressed.’
She swished past him before he could say anything, shot back the bolt and opened the door. A couple of burly security guards rushed into the room and grasped him by the arms. Rafferty tried to shake them off but soon realised that he was wasting his time. Anyway, he’d be damned if he’d give her the satisfaction of watching him struggle.
‘Escort Dr Rafferty from the building and inform the staff on Reception that he isn’t to be admitted again today.’ She turned to Janet, who had followed the men into the room. ‘Dr Rafferty will need a pass so can you make all the necessary arrangements, please? I’ll sign the authorisation forms myself.’
‘A pass?’ the secretary repeated uncertainly, glancing at him.
Rafferty really couldn’t blame her for being confused, because he was feeling a bit that way himself. He dug in his heels as the men tried to hustle him out of the room.
‘What the hell is going on, Natalie? Why are you ordering a pass for me when you’re having me thrown out?’
‘Because you can’t just come in here and throw your weight around. It really isn’t on, Rafferty, and I’m not prepared to put up with it.’ She smiled calmly at him as she went and sat down behind her desk. ‘However, a pass is essential if you’re to complete the challenge I’ve set you.’
‘What challenge?’ he demanded as the men hauled him through the open door. ‘Natalie…!’
‘That you spend a month in my world and see how well you cope.’
CHAPTER TWO
‘LADIES and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce our guest of honour this evening.’
Polite applause rippled around the room as the man stepped up to the podium. Natalie glanced at Rafferty and bit back a chuckle when she saw the expression of utter boredom on his face. It was the local business association’s annual dinner, a lengthy a
ffair which normally she avoided attending. She hadn’t been planning on going that night either, until Rafferty had bulldozed his way into her office and she’d realised it would be the perfect way to pay him back. If he had all those preconceived ideas about how she’d been spending her time recently, why disabuse him?
He must have sensed she was watching him because he suddenly turned and her heart missed a beat when she saw the awareness in his eyes. She’d pulled out all the stops that night and knew she looked her best. The red gown she was wearing was one of her favourites, although she’d never worn it before when she’d been out with Rafferty. Most of the time they’d spent together had been at some disaster spot or other and there’d been few opportunities there to dress up. It struck her all of a sudden just how little time they’d spent doing the normal things a couple usually did together. Their relationship had revolved around their work and they’d just snatched the odd hour as and when they could.
Would things have turned out differently if they’d had more time to themselves? she wondered. Everyone was under a lot of pressure when they were away on a mission. Consequently emotions ran high, and it could explain why they’d never been able to reach a compromise.
‘How much longer do we have to stay here?’ he demanded, leaning over so that he could whisper the question in her ear.
‘It’s not the done thing to leave before the main guest has finished speaking,’ she informed him tersely. She’d always believed that their failure to agree had been because of his stubbornness and it was worrying to wonder if she’d been wrong to hold him solely responsible when there might have been other factors involved.
‘It will be midnight at this rate before he runs out of steam,’ Rafferty declared in disgust. ‘Who on earth is interested in the profit and loss ratios that can be achieved in various European countries?’
‘A lot of people. You might believe that making a profit is the devil’s work but your views aren’t shared by the majority of people here tonight.’
‘I never said it was wrong to make a profit,’ he denied, frowning.
‘No? It certainly sounded like it to me earlier today.’
She smiled sweetly at him then turned her attention to the speaker but it was difficult to concentrate when her mind kept returning to the thought that she might have been wrong to blame Rafferty for their problems. It was a relief when the speech ended and everyone started talking. Natalie knew most of the people on their table because she’d met them when she’d acted as hostess for her father. Richard Palmer was a renowned host and his cocktail parties were always well attended.
The man on her right asked her how her father was so she turned to speak to him, aware that Rafferty was talking to the woman seated next to him. She could just catch snippets of their conversation, something about an opera which had been a sell-out. Someone else joined in, adding their comments on the production, until the whole table ended up discussing its merits. Natalie smiled when a woman seated opposite her asked if she’d seen it.
‘I’ve not had time, I’m afraid. I’ve been too busy trying to find my way around Palmer’s so I’ve not been to the theatre for ages.’
The woman smiled sympathetically then turned her attention to Rafferty. ‘And how about you, Dr Rafferty? Have you managed to get tickets for it yet? It’s a marvellous production, so much better than Antonini’s version. If you saw it, I’m sure you’d agree.’
‘I’m afraid I’m not really an opera buff,’ Rafferty replied evenly. ‘My visits to the theatre tend to have a rather different purpose behind them.’
Everyone laughed at the quip, as he’d obviously intended them to. However, Natalie could tell there was something bothering him. She frowned to herself, because she had no idea what was wrong. They’d just been making conversation, the kind of small talk that usually happened at these events, so why did Rafferty look so on edge?
The band began to play so, under cover of the general hubbub that broke out as people got up to dance, she leant over and asked him, ‘Are you all right?’
‘Fine. Why shouldn’t I be?’
His tone was bland enough but she could tell from the tautness of his jaw that he was still very tense. She shrugged, feeling her way with care because she didn’t want to make matters worse by saying the wrong thing. ‘You just looked a bit…well, uneasy when we were talking about the opera.’
‘Did I?’ He shrugged. ‘Probably because there wasn’t a lot I could contribute. Opera is something that has passed me by, I’m afraid.’
‘Oh, I see.’
Natalie wasn’t sure she did see, but there was little she could say when he obviously didn’t want to talk about it any more. Maybe he wasn’t interested in opera, as he’d claimed, but his reaction seemed to her to be just a little too much. She breathed a sigh of relief when a waiter appeared and informed her there was a phone call for her in Reception because it provided a welcome distraction.
She quickly excused herself, as she had a good idea who it might be. Since she’d been back in London, she’d been helping out at a drop-in clinic for the many homeless teenagers who lived on the streets of the city. The clinic was staffed by a team of volunteer nurses and doctors and provided a lifeline for the youngsters who were often loath to seek medical help elsewhere. Although she wasn’t due to work that night, she’d made sure they had the phone number of the hotel where the dinner was being held in case anything cropped up. The reception staff had transferred the call to a private booth in the foyer so she went straight there and picked up the receiver.
‘Natalie Palmer.’
‘Hi, Natalie, it’s Helen. I’m sorry to phone you but we have a bit of a problem. It’s Danny Kennedy and he’s in a pretty bad way, I’m afraid.’
Natalie sighed. Danny was a regular visitor to the clinic. He was in his early teens and had run away from home after his parents had split up and his mother’s new partner had beaten him up. He’d suffered from asthma all his life and living on the streets was making the problem worse.
‘Has he been taking his medication?’ she asked worriedly.
‘He says he has but it doesn’t sound like it to me,’ Helen explained. ‘I really think he should be admitted to hospital but he’s refusing to go. I thought you might be able to persuade him to see sense.’
‘I’ll try.’ She checked her watch. ‘If I leave straight away, I should be with you in about ten minutes’ time. If he gets any worse, though, call an ambulance and we’ll argue about it later.’
‘Will do. Thanks, Natalie.’
Natalie left the booth, trying to decide what she should tell Rafferty. He had no idea that she’d been working at the clinic since she’d come back to London and she wasn’t sure if she wanted him to know about it either.
‘Is everything all right?’
She jumped when the subject of her thoughts suddenly materialised at her side. She turned to face him, feeling her heart give an appreciative little flutter before she could stop it. The formal dinner suit he was wearing made the most of his dark good looks, emphasising the width of his shoulders and the trimness of his waist. Rarely had she seen him wearing anything other than scrubs or jeans and she had to admit that he looked great. However, how he looked wasn’t the issue. She was more concerned about what she was going to tell him.
Her father had instilled into her a sense of duty from an early age. He had insisted that it wasn’t enough just to be rich and that she had to prove her worth by giving something back to the world. Natalie had never had a problem with that idea because it wasn’t in her nature to idle away her time. She enjoyed helping people, and loved nursing, so she had tried to live up to his high expectations of her. However, whilst she was prepared to accept that kind of attitude from her father, she didn’t see why she should have to justify herself to Rafferty. She was still smarting at the thought that he valued her more as a nurse than anything else, and certainly didn’t intend to make it appear as though she was trying to curry favour with him!
‘Something has cropped up and I’m going to have to leave,’ she said shortly, heading for the cloakroom.
‘It’s not your father, is it? He hasn’t taken a turn for the worse?’
‘No, nothing like that,’ she replied evasively, handing her ticket to the attendant.
‘But it must be important if you’re rushing off.’
‘It is.’
Natalie took her coat from the woman and hurried across the foyer but if she’d hoped to deter him, obviously she’d failed. He followed her outside, his expression turning thunderous as he watched her flag down a passing taxi.
‘Are you going to tell me what’s going on?’
‘No.’ She opened the cab door and got in. ‘I’ll see you in the office tomorrow morning. Your pass should be ready so you’ll just need to ask the staff on Reception for it when you arrive.’
She started to shut the door but he was too quick for her. His green eyes flashed as he bent and looked at her.
‘I’m asking you one last time where you’re going, Natalie.’
‘And I’m telling you one last time that it hasn’t anything to do with you. You gave up the right to have a say in what I do when you told me that our relationship wasn’t going to work.’
She went to close the door again and this time he didn’t try to stop her. She told the driver the address of the clinic then sat back in the seat. She could feel Rafferty staring at her as the cab drove away but she didn’t look at him, didn’t dare in case she weakened. She loved him so much, but it wasn’t enough. He had to love her too—unconditionally and without any strings attached—and the likelihood of that happening seemed even more remote after what he’d told her that day.
She closed her eyes, feeling the pain welling inside her again. She might be a rich man’s daughter, she might be a nurse, but she was first and foremost a woman and she wanted a man who would love her for herself.
Helen must have been watching for her to arrive because she came hurrying out of the clinic as soon as the taxi drew up. She whistled when Natalie turned round after paying the driver.
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