This was something she knew he’d have to work out on his own.
My parents, though, she thought. I can’t go back to them like this.
Samantha did have some money saved. There’d never been anything to spend it on, he’d been right about that, but she still had nowhere to go.
Or had she?
“Look, Alex, maybe...I hate to ask this of you, but do you think I could borrow the keys to the condo for a few days? I can’t go home like this. My dad’ll never forgive me for losing this job. You met him. You know what he’s like.”
Alex turned his eyes in her direction.
“Please don’t hate me, Samantha.”
“No. No, I don’t. That’s why I want to go now. I don’t like feeling so used.”
“I never was using you. Not the way you’re thinking. I...I tried so hard to fight my feelings for you, Samantha.”
“Yeah. Looks like you won, too.”
That nearly set him off again and he turned toward the steering column, flustered and confused.
“The keys, Alex.”
“Yeah.”
He took the keys out of the ignition and pulled off the two Samantha needed.
“Please don’t go, Samantha.”
“I have to, Alex. I can’t make you feel. It has to come when you want it to, and you’re not ready yet. Not for me. Not for love.”
He sighed in defeat and handed her the keys.
“Sure you don’t need any money?”
She shook her head.
“No. I’ve saved up, and you’ve always been more than generous to me, Alex. Oh yeah. Don’t worry. I’ll clean the place up before I go and you’ll never even know I was there.”
These words brought a lump to her throat. Her lip was trembling, so she bit it. She had to be strong, even if it killed her.
And it just might kill me, Samantha decided. She knew she’d miss Alex P. Shannon and love him to her dying day.
“Thanks for the keys, Alex. Now we’d better go. We’re going to attract some unwanted attention if we stay parked here like this.”
He replaced the ignition key and started the engine. When they got to the airport, he carried her luggage over to the Hawaiian Airlines gate and peeled off a few fifties to pay for the ticket.
Samantha’s heart felt like it was breaking in two, so she laughed instead of crying.
“I’ll bet I never see another airport this small,” she joked, letting their eyes meet one last time.
Alex turned away and Samantha watched him get into the Jeep and go.
Chapter 16
Samantha set her bags down and closed the door behind her.
Now that she was here in Waikiki, she was frightened and not at all confident of her decision to leave Alex. There was one thing she was absolutely certain of now, though.
She was staying in Hawaii.
Alex could send her away, but he couldn’t make her go home in disgrace. Nothing in the world would induce her to return home defeated.
Mrs. Kujiroaka, in an unprecedented move, dialed the Chicago number for Alex’s mom. And though she’d only met Mrs. Shannon once, on a brief visit she made to Hawaii, Mrs. K. felt hopeful that his mother would listen to her,
“Yes?” Trudy Shannon said, answering the phone.
“Hello, Mrs. Shannon. I don’t know if you remember me, but this is Mrs. Kujiroaka, Alex’s housekeeper. I think you need to have long talk with him before he makes big mistake, ruins his life.”
Samantha glanced around the living room, feeling paranoid and self-conscious, half-expecting to find Alex lurking around every corner.
Of course, there was no one else in the condo, so she calmed herself and put away her luggage, trying to make herself at home.
She found the stillness of the room oppressive, so she switched on the radio, and just as quickly switched it off again. Next, she went to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of wine, which she opened for herself.
She noticed the sun was beginning to set, so she carried both glass and bottle outside to the lanai.
The beach below was deserted, except for a few tourists. The sunset was spectacular, as always, but she was in no mood to enjoy it. She sat out there with her wine and tried to form a plan for the future.
Marianne had once called her a born manager. Well, she’d manage this, too, somehow. For tonight, though, she was going to allow herself the luxury of a little self-pity.
She wondered what Alex was thinking, wondered if he was missing her. She knew she wouldn’t have wanted to face going back to that ranch alone. In fact, she could barely even tolerate the condo. The place seemed so hollow and empty without him.
So many fine memories, gone now for good.
This certainly was nothing like her first night in Waikiki, that very first night when they came over from the mainland and everything was still so exciting and new. Alex was so charismatic, his manners so perfect, always a gentleman. He’d known quite well she was attracted to him and could easily have taken advantage of her, but he’d kept himself in line for her sake.
Samantha began to find she wasn’t very proud of herself, wasn’t very proud of her own behavior. For one fleeting moment, she even convinced herself this whole mess was all her own fault, from beginning to end, and felt a powerful urge to call Alex up and beg his forgiveness.
Taking a sip of wine, she resisted this urge. She needed to put all thoughts of Alex P. Shannon aside and concentrate on her future. She remained outside until the moon came up, and then she went inside.
Nothing would be solved tonight, she decided, so she opened a can of cheap beef stew for her dinner, as there wasn’t much else in the place to eat and she wasn’t about to waste any of her cash calling room service. While she ate it, she polished off the bottle of wine, not feeling guilty about it in the least, as he’d always encouraged her to use whatever she wanted at both the house and the condo.
At last, she fell into bed, tired and too intoxicated to worry about her life any longer.
She awoke in the morning with a clear knowledge of what she must do. She dressed hurriedly and went downstairs for a newspaper. When she returned, she set to work finding herself an apartment and a new job.
By late afternoon, she had herself a dumpy little one-room apartment and a job interview at a local bookstore.
Rent was shockingly high, especially in Waikiki, so the bookstore job would have to be temporary until she found something that paid better. The apartment was rented month-to-month, though, so she was free to trade up whenever she could afford to.
She was due to move in the following day, so true to her word, Samantha packed away the few belongings she had with her. Excited at the prospect of her new life, she began cleaning away all traces of herself.
She could’ve called the service, she knew. Alex wouldn’t have minded a bit, would never in a million years have expected anything less. But, just like her qualms at calling room service the night before, she felt incapable of doing so. She somehow just wanted to prove she wasn’t in it for the money and leisure and all the rest of it, wasn’t afraid to work hard and brave the way for herself.
Above all, she wanted Alex to realize how very much she truly loved him. She wanted him to know what he’d so callously thrown away. And it was silly, she knew, but she couldn’t help entertaining the idea that one day he’d come back to her, repentant and ready to mend his ways.
But for now, for the first time ever, she was truly on her own. Picking up the mop, Samantha wrung the water out of it, feeling quite grown up, her confidence renewed. She had a life of her own now, was no longer dependent on her parents or anybody else.
The phone rang and Samantha dropped the mop, startled, and ran to answer it.
“Yes?” she said, a little too eagerly.
“Samantha?”
“Marianne?”
“What’s going on?”
Her heart began to thud in her chest and she wondered if Marianne had spoken to Alex.
“Nothing,” she lied, trying to bluff her way out of explaining what a failure she was, especially to her best friend. “I’m just taking my vacation.”
A muffled sound came over the phone, then a rustling.
“Samantha?”
This time it was Paris.
“Listen,” he said, “I know you’ve left Alex.”
“So?”
“So I think you should go back to him. He loves you very much, you know.”
A harsh laugh escaped Samantha’s lips.
“Hah,” she said, indignant. “He fired me. Do you call that love?”
Paris sighed.
“He loves you,” he repeated. “He’s been through a lot, Samantha. You know how he gets.”
“I’m really not interested.”
“Well you should be. When are you ever going to get another chance to meet a man like him?”
She laughed airily.
“I was hoping you could introduce me to someone, Paris. He tells me you know everyone.”
The phone became muffled again and Marianne came back on the line.
“Would you stop being so mean, Samantha? Alex is perfect for you. So what if he can’t say the L-word.”
“Easy for you to say, dear. You’re getting married in a couple of months.”
With that, Samantha rang off and went back to mopping the floor. Before long, though, it rang again.
“What?” she demanded, past all patience.
“Honey, Marianne just called us and told us everything.”
Samantha felt a lump in her throat at the sound of her dad’s voice. She hadn’t wanted her parents to know of her affair with Alex, especially like this, from someone else.
“She did what?”
“She told us everything. Come on, Baby, come home.”
His voice was tender, not sharp, not accusing.
How simple it would be to go home, she thought. But she was on her way to a new life, so she remained strong and adamant.
“No. I’m staying in Hawaii.”
In vain, her father tried to convince her to come home, but before she weakened, she pulled herself straight and cut him off.
“No, Dad. What good would that do? I’m not a child anymore.”
Once she finally coaxed her dad into hanging up, a panic seized her. With so much activity brewing on the sidelines, she felt it was only a matter of time before Alex himself showed up to crumble the rest of her resolve.
And as if on cue, a knock sounded at the door.
Samantha, fearing it really was Alex this time, stared at it in shock for a moment. When she finally opened it, she was confronted by a woman of about Grandma’s age, though less weather-beaten, of course, and much more well-preserved and pretty.
She wondered guiltily if she’d been loud, had disturbed one of the neighbors.
“I hope I wasn’t making too much noise,” she said contritely.
“My name’s Trudy,” the woman said. “Trudy Shannon. I’m Alex’s mother.”
Samantha wasn’t sure what she expected Alex’s mother to look like, but it certainly wasn’t this. The woman standing before her was fashionably dressed and had the look of a career-woman about her.
“I’m sorry, but Alex isn’t here right now.”
“No, I know that. He’s still at the ranch, but he called me and told me all about you, Samantha, so I just had to come and meet you for myself. May I come in?”
Samantha, called to order, swung the door wide, gesturing to her guest.
“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Shannon. Please come in. Would you like something to drink?”
“I’d love an iced tea, if you have it.”
“Sure.”
Preparing the two glasses gave Samantha some much-needed time to think. She eyed Mrs. Shannon guardedly, wondering if she’d been sent here to harangue her, too, like the others, but the woman merely sat down quietly, crossing her ankles in a lady-like way and waiting until Samantha joined her to speak.
“My son’s really an ass sometimes,” said Trudy, “but he means well.”
Samantha, disarmed by this remark, smiled and sat down right across from her.
“He’s not so bad,” she admitted, “but he really knows how to hurt a person.”
“I know. And it’s all because of that slut Jennie. Did he ever tell you about her?”
“Not much.”
“Well, she was a waitress. Not that that mattered, because I was one, too, at the time. In fact, Alex only met her because of me, because he came in to eat one afternoon after class and she happened to be there.
“She was pretty,” Trudy admitted, “but also pretty lazy. You could tell right away she’d never amount to anything, and she was content with the way her life was going. She wasn’t looking for too much more than the first sucker she could latch onto who was willing to support her.
“Unfortunately, that sucker turned out to be my son. And, to be honest, they never were right for each other.”
Samantha had to agree with her.
“I guessed as much, Mrs. Shannon, but I’m right for him. I’m right for him, I know I am, and I love him with all my heart, but I can’t live with him anymore, not the way he wants me to.”
Her once-prospective mother-in-law gazed at her for a long time before she spoke again.
“Do you think you can ever go back to him?”
Samantha shook her head.
“No. Not the way things stand right now.”
“I really do believe that, deep down inside, he loves you, too, but he’s made up his mind to be as stubborn as a Missouri mule.”
This reminded Samantha of their mule ride on Molokai and she smiled to herself.
Oh, if only Alex were as biddable as the little pack-mule she rode down that mountain.
“I know,” she admitted at last, her heart breaking all over again. “But if he can’t even admit his feelings to himself, what chance do we have together?”
Trudy nodded, able to acknowledge the justice of this.
“Yes. You’re right. But can he...can he call you some time? Once he gets his head screwed on straight?”
Samantha shook her head
“I don’t think that’s such a hot idea,” Samantha told her. “I mean, I’ve given him tons of chances and he keeps blowing them all off. I really think he’d be better off alone, without any girlfriend around to torture him.”
Mrs. Shannon rose to her feet then and offered her hand.
“Well then, it was very nice meeting you, Samantha. I’m sorry things didn’t work out, but you do seem like a nice girl and just the right sort to keep my boy happy. Here’s my number if you ever want to talk.”
She almost shut the door on Alex’s mother before her better instincts overcame her.
“No, wait,” she said softly, “I don’t know where my manners are. I did want to say something to you. You did an excellent job raising Alex. I mean, even though I’m mad at him, I have to admit, he’s got the best manners of any guy I’ve ever known. And I guess if you want to, you can stay here. I was just getting ready to pack it in myself, and I know for sure Alex wouldn’t like you staying in some random hotel.”
Trudy smiled and came back into the condo.
“All right, Samantha.”
With that, she sat down on the couch and turned on the T.V.
For a moment, Samantha stood at the closed door, feeling miserable. She glanced around at the back of her lover’s mom’s head and resolved then and there that Alex must be taught a lesson.
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And though it hurt her heart to be even a little bit cruel, it was time he learned he hadn’t hired some silly little schoolgirl as his assistant.
She knew what she was talking about, and she’d show him by going ahead and writing her own book, just like Paris had suggested those long weeks ago, but her book wouldn’t be about spies or mysteries or intrigue.
Her book would be about art.
She felt an idea gelling in her mind. She recalled watching a documentary about the young Monet a while back, recalled having thought at the time they should cast Jesse Dent to play Monet, as there was a strong resemblance, especially around the eyes.
She quietly finished up the mopping as Alex’s mother sat there on the couch watching television, and then she went into Alex’s bathroom.
Sacrificing her only lipstick, she wrote on his bathroom mirror in big pink letters:
Titian is a Venetian painter!
This small act of rebellion elated her, but it also made her think about Alex with a sharp pang. She knew then she had to get out of his condo before she lost her nerve, before she took the easy way out and knuckled under, submitting to everyone else’s will.
She hurriedly finished getting her things together, and on her way out of the condo, saw that she’d left her newspaper on the counter.
“Can you let him know I cleaned up before I left? I promised I would, and I’m a woman of my word. I have to tell you, though, I did write him a note on the bathroom mirror. I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t erase it. He’ll know what it means.”
Trudy assured her she wouldn’t, and promised to relay the message.
“You have the makings of a great lady, Samantha,” she told her.
“You think?” Samantha asked, suddenly pleased. “I do try. My mom was always onto me about acting right. She even made me learn how to walk around with a book on my head.”
“Seriously? Mine did, too. I didn’t think people still did that any more. No wonder Alex is so fond of you. You’re kindred spirits.”
With a wistful smile, Samantha picked up the discarded newspaper and dumped it into the wastebasket before grabbing her suitcases.
Tropical Temptation Page 17