by Seton, Cora
I’m not a good person, her voice echoed in my head. Was this what she meant? That she was comfortable with men like Smith. Because when she was with me, she was anything but comfortable.
“The money, Charlene,” Smith said. “It’s time. Let’s end this.”
She pulled out a stack of bills from the bag and held it out to Smith. “Yes. I know when I’m beat. I really should have seen it. You walk around with no security. No one who deals with taking people’s money for a living does that. It’s the stupidest thing to do.”
Charlie looked toward the woman. “You want to get your hands off my brother in the next thirty seconds.”
Thirty seconds? Why thirty seconds? Charlie’s eyes slid to me for a heartbeat before she looked away. Was that for me? Maybe I was reading too much into it.
She pushed the stack of money into Smith’s hands. “Here. There’s five thousand in that bag. You give me Damien, and I’ll get you the rest in a few days.”
“Charlie—” I didn’t want her to settle with this guy.
“I got this, Jesse,” she snapped. She looked at the woman. “Fifteen seconds.”
A long stretch of silence followed. Smith looked confident. So did Charlie. In fact, she looked too confident. Something was going on here, something I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure what it was. But what I did know was that we were fast approaching an impasse, one neither party was prepared to surrender.
*
Charlene
“Fifteen seconds?” The woman spoke. “Do you really think that you have any control here?” I narrowed my eyes at her, anger and rage flowing so easily through every cell and every pore of my body.
“I know that you’re going to regret holding a knife to my little brother,” I growled, “in about ten seconds.”
She laughed. “You have no idea who I am, do you?”
“Should I?”
Smith chuckled, but otherwise was quiet. The woman shook her head. “My name is Luz Ibarra. Ring any bells? I never should have let Brent keep you. Trust him to kill me in my own daughter’s eyes.”
My chest was tight. Hell my whole body was tight at the sound of that name. I’d never, ever thought I would hear that name in person, or see the one that it belonged to. She was supposed to be dead. Suddenly, Brent’s sending the necklace made a whole lot more sense.
“You… you’re her? You can’t be her!” Panic iced over my veins. There was no way she could be my mother.
“Charlie, what’s wrong?” Jesse asked.
Luz laughed, loud, throwing her head back in the process. “Oh, this is even more priceless than I could have hoped.”
“You can’t be her, because my mother is dead!” I screamed at her. I started toward her, but Jesse grabbed me and pulled me back.
“Hey, come on, don’t let her bait you like that!” Jesse told me. “Be calm.”
“Be calm?” I rounded on Jesse, breathing heavy, my body surging with anger. “My mother had been dead for as long as I can remember.”
“And yet, here I am,” she replied.
“Liar!” I screamed at her. “You’re a goddamned liar!”
Luz sighed. “Brent did mention he didn’t tell you where I was… I didn’t realize that meant he told you I was dead.”
“Where is he?”
“Not here, obviously.” Luz… my mother…
It was so surreal. Everything was starting to make sense now. Brent had sent me that necklace as a warning. He couldn’t have sent a note with it? That would have been more straight forward. Damn it.
“Where is Brent?” I repeated.
“Probably lying in a hospital bed somewhere, hopefully dead, though I’m beginning to wonder about Nick’s abilities.” She shot a dirty glare to Smith.
“He’s out of commission. That’s what you wanted.” Nick offered up. What did that mean? He wasn’t dead?
“There you go,” Luz said cheerfully. “Now, what are we going to do with you, my little non-paying flower?”
“There’s five thousand in that bag. Take it, give me my brother, and leave.”
“I want the entire thing.”
Jesse moved before I could blink. He grabbed Luz’s hand, the one with the knife and pulled up, away form Damien. Damien ran, but Luz grabbed him by the collar, but with Jesse fighting her, she had to let him go in order to keep defending against Jesse. Damien got loose, and ran to me.
Jesse turned her wrist around to her back, holding her.
I embraced my brother. “Damien!”
The kid buried himself in my front, wrapping his arms tightly around me. It wasn’t until I heard the click that I realized I’d forgotten about Smith. I froze, and slowly turned my head toward the sound. Damien’s sobs broke the silence of the room, adding to the tension. Smith’s gun didn’t even waver from my forehead.
“I told you what happens when you disappoint me.” Smith’s eyes turned to fiery anger.
I couldn’t say anything else. As soon as I opened my mouth, loud bangs and flying wood surrounded us as something broke through the three boarded up windows. Then canisters of gas fell into the room, instantly filling the place with a thick and heavy fog.
Jesse shouted something, I wasn’t sure what, and then his heavy body covered me and Damien, shoving us to the floor. I hit hard on my shoulder, choking, crying as the gar filled what seemed like every pore of my body. Everywhere my skin was exposed burned, especially in the corners of my eyes. My skin felt tight and hot.
Jesse held tight to me, both of us coughing as more people entered the place. Everything blurred together. I couldn’t see, couldn’t speak. Shouts filled the space. I had no idea what was going on above me. I pulled Damien close, and finally, I just buried my head against Jesse’s chest and hoped it would all be over soon.
Chapter Seventeen
Charlene
‡
An hour later, I was sitting outside the church on the steps while police officers moved in and out of the place. I was exhausted. The gas had left me so tired, like I’d run a marathon. Twice. They’d given me a blanket, because a cold front had settled in since I’d left my parents’ house, and I hadn’t brought a jacket. Jesse was not too far away, talking to a couple officers. They were too far for me to hear what was being said.
I was all talked out, anyway.
I glanced next to me. “You okay, shrimp bait?”
Damien, wrapped in his own blanket, nodded. “Yeah. That gas sucks.”
“Yeah, it does.”
“What kind of gas is it?”
I shrugged. “No idea. You should go ask that guy.” I pointed toward one of the SWAT guys, one that was holding what looked like a grenade launcher. Okay, maybe it wasn’t a grenade launcher. It was a gas launcher? Hell, I didn’t know what they called it.
Damien frowned. “I don’t want to bother him.”
“Why not?”
“He looks scary.” It wasn’t like Damien to feel fear of a guy at all. This was the same kid who was walking through the mall on his own at age five because he didn’t want to go into the same stores my mother did.
I took another look at the SWAT guy. He was bigger, true. There were some colorful tattoos along his collar line that disappeared into his uniform. His head was shaved and there were scars along the right side of his face. And Damien had been through something incredibly terrifying. I could understand why he’d find the man equally terrifying, even if he were a cop.
Right then, a familiar car pulled up and tears left my eyes as my parents stepped out. I wasn’t sure if they were tears of relief or of sadness, because there was no way they didn’t know about me now, and I’d endangered their son. I patted Damien’s back. “Hey, there’s Mom and Dad. Why don’t you go see them? I’ll bet they’re worried sick.”
“Okay!” He didn’t need coaxing at all. He took off at a dead run, right into my parents’ arms. I followed more slowly, because I didn’t want to have the conversation I was about to have. I’d lied to them. I’d broken
their trust. It was weird, how they could make me feel like I was still thirteen, even though I was an adult.
I stopped a few feet from them, and my mom was the first to see me. She gave no indication of how she felt. She just whispered in Damien’s ear, who nodded and ran off to the car. She turned around, and both of them stared at me.
“Okay, tell me everything. Everything, this time, Charlie,” Mom said.
This time, everything came out. I told them every little detail that had happened in my life that concerned Brent. I told them about the necklace and then the appearance of Nick Smith and everything I could think of that mattered. And then, when it was all said and done, I braced myself, waiting for the inevitable blow up.
But Mom didn’t say a word. She was very calm. When I tried to add something else—anything to break the silence—she held up a hand to stop me. I wasn’t sure what that meant for us. She didn’t look angry, but that wasn’t a happy expression on her face either.
Finally, she blew out a long, even breath. “We’re not going to dwell on the fact that you lied to me, to your father, or that you’ve endangered this entire family by not being honest with us.”
“I’m sorry, Mom—”
“Hush.” Mom cleared her throat. “I’m glad that you finally came clean, that you went to the police, albeit, a little late.” She shook her head. “In the end, you did what was right… mostly. Going in that church was incredibly reckless. You could have been hurt. They could have hurt Damien.”
“I never meant to hurt anyone.” My heart seized as I watched the bag of money get taken into the police car sitting next to the SWAT van. “I’ll pay back the money that I lost.”
“Don’t worry about that, love,” Dad said. “Eventually, we’ll get it back. Once they no longer need it as evidence.”
“Mom, Dad—”
“We should have told you the truth about your parents,” Mom added.
I froze. “The truth?” I stared between my parents. Both of them looked so serious. What did that mean, the truth?
“Yes,” Mom said. She glanced at Dad.
“Brent Sanders requested the state to come for you.”
“What?”
“He was headed down a bad path, Charlie. He knew it, and he knew he was taking you down with him.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Brent and Curtis are old friends. They went to school together. So he contacted Curtis and asked him to take you, to adopt you and raise you. He had hopes for a normal life for you.”
Stunned, I shook my head. “That’s why he never fought for me? During the hearings, and everything… He didn’t want me?”
“It’s not that,” Dad said. “He did what he had to do to save you. He gave you up.”
“I’d like to think he realized that you needed a home. A real home. Something he couldn’t give you,” Mom added. “You were a young girl, heading into teenage years. He wasn’t prepared for that.”
“Why didn’t he just tell me that?”
“Would you have understood?”
I shook my head. “No. I would have begged to stay with him.” For all the problems that Brent and I had… he was still family. I’d have died to stay with him when I was younger.
“He loved you, but he wasn’t any kind of father, and you deserved a chance at a good life.” Mom touched my arm lightly.
Nausea rolled through my body from my abdomen out. All these years, and I’d never known. Brent had come to Sugar Falls in secret, so that no one knew he was there. He was the biggest asshole, and yet, he’d been the sweetest dad. All those times when I had thought he was being paranoid…
“She—that woman—she said he was dead. That Brent is dead.” My voice was shaky. I didn’t want to think that Brent was dead. I didn’t want to think that the woman was really my mother. Did I really come from such horrible beginnings?
“We can look,” Dad suggested. “If you want.”
Regardless of what happened here, Brent was still my father, even when I didn’t want to acknowledge it, even though I had Curtis Morgan. I’d spent so long thinking he was just a big screw up and that he didn’t care about me. Learning that I was wrong… that he did care… well, that made me angry. He’d lied to me. Guess that ran in the family.
“And then you need to leave, love,” Mom said. I snapped my eyes to hers.
“What?”
“The condition of you remaining with us was that you were honest with us.” Mom’s eyes glistened with unshed tears she was holding at bay. “You lied. A pretty big one. And you endangered your brother in the process.”
“I’m so sorry, Mom,” I sobbed out. “I’ll be better now. I won’t ever lie to you.”
“You’re an adult now, hon. I think what you need is a fresh start in a new city, with someone who loves you enough to help you,” she said. Leave Sugar Falls? How could I leave this town, the one place that had ever welcomed me in and made me feel like a real person?
“Mom, I can’t. This is my home.”
She took my hands in hers. “Yes, you can.” Her eyes drifted to the side, so I followed her sight line to where Jesse stood, still talking to the police. “He’s going back to San Diego, right?”
“I think so,” I said, weakly.
“Go with him.”
“But he’s a SEAL. He’ll never be home. What’s the point?”
“The point is that he stood by you through this whole mess. One doesn’t do that unless one is in love.” Mom sighed hard, her shoulders drooping on her exhale. “Don’t think that you’re getting out of Christmas, though.”
“You’re kicking me out.” I was confused. They were kicking me out and making me come to Christmas? Talk about mixed signals.
“No, I’m making you fly, little birdie,” she said. “We’ve done all we can. You’re nineteen.”
“What about school?”
“I hear San Diego has nice universities.” Mom grinned. “Hon, whether you live here or not, you are family. That’s not changing. But you need to figure out your life and Sugar Falls isn’t the place to do that. Not for you.”
I wrapped my arms around my mom’s neck and squeezed. As soon as I shut my eyes, the tears slid down my cheeks. “What if he doesn’t want me? After this, what if he—”
“Please,” Dad said with a roll of his eyes.
“Let’s go home, and we’ll talk some more, okay?” Mom took my hand. “Curtis, think they can deal without her here?”
Dad nodded. “I’ll get it straightened out. You two go sit with Damien in the car.” My dad was an impressive man. Tomorrow, this whole thing would fall out in the paper, and the whole town would know I screwed up. But right then, he was my dad and that was all I needed. I let Mom lead me to the car while Dad talked to the police on the scene. When I glanced behind, my eyes found Jesse before anyone else. He was there with my Dad and the other officers, but his eyes were on me.
*
Jesse
I’d just finished with my statement when Charlie’s dad walked up. When I was a kid, Curtis Morgan had been an imposing figure. Maybe it was because he’d been the Chief of Police in Sugar Falls. Maybe it was his tall stature compared to a short, lanky seven-year-old. Now, he seemed even more imposing than he had when I was younger. I was half-afraid that he’d drop me right there for being with his daughter through this mess, and not coming to him.
But when he came in reach, he didn’t even look at me. He addressed the officers. “I’m taking my family home.”
“Yes, sir,” they chorused. Guess they found him intimidating too.
He handed them his card. “If you need more information than what she gave you, please call the house.” His eyes caught on me as he started to turn. He jerked his head to the side, and like a dog on a leash, I followed him away from the officers.
He let out a deep breath. “Jesse, I wanted to thank you.”
“Thank me? For what, Mr. Morgan?”
“Charlie’s… well, she’s Charlie. She
’s stubborn and independent, and she would have gone in that church no matter what today. Thank you for sticking by her side, and watching over her in there.”
“Mr. Morgan…” I didn’t know what to say to that, or even if there was anything to say. But what I knew for sure was that he had no reason to thank me. Mostly, she hadn’t even needed me. As I’d told her, I was her backup. “Your daughter doesn’t need watching. She’s very good.”
“She needs it more than she lets on,” he replied. He glanced back at his car. I followed his gaze, and locked eyes with Charlie for a split second before she broke it and got inside. “I should take them home. It’s been a rough day for them. But I wanted to let you know that I’m grateful. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
He didn’t wait for me to say anything else. He turned away and followed his family to his car, dipping into the driver’s side of the car. I stood there, stunned into silence, as the car started and drove away.
Watching that car leave, knowing that Charlie was inside, churned my insides into a tizzy. Sure, she lived next door, but I wouldn’t be there forever. In fact, I was leaving in a few days. My leave was almost up. Intellectually, I knew that, and I knew that starting something with her was a bad idea when we’d be apart a few days later… But that nauseous feeling in my gut wouldn’t go away.
The thing about Charlie was… I didn’t want to give her up.
Chapter Eighteen
Charlene
‡
The drive home was silent. Mom sat in the back with Damien and I swear she never stopped touching him the entire way. A hand resting on his arm, his shoulder. Her knee touching his leg. His head resting against her shoulder. It seemed like she went out of her way to keep him in contact with her. It only made the guilt heavier on my soul, watching it. I’d nearly destroyed my family trying to keep them safe.
Arriving at the house, still no one spoke. Mom took Damien inside while Dad trailed after them. Each step I took up the porch steps, the brand new porch that Jesse and his brothers had built only days before (though it seemed like a lifetime ago), weighed more than a block of cement. My parents didn’t act like they blamed me for anything. It seemed like they blamed Brent more than anything. But it was still my choice for everything I’d done. I had to take responsibility, and maybe that was what my mother had meant.