“First, no you don’t. You teach them how to care for things and fix it when accidents happen. This isn’t irreversible. If a ‘magic eraser’ won’t take it off, we’ll just paint over it.” Luke shook his head as she reached into the broom cupboard and pulled out one of the scrubbing erasers. Taking it from her, he continued, “But apathy won’t fix it. “
“I don’t care, Luke. I can’t. Life is going to be one series of disappointments if I let myself care about things like the state of the house or--”
In an uncharacteristic move, Luke interrupted her. “Just a couple of minutes ago, you were singing your heart out to the Lord. Those kids went from stubborn know-it-all-ness to eager listeners almost immediately after you started singing.” He wandered into the living room, still talking, and began to scrub the sharpie from the wall. Even Aggie could see that it was destroying the sheen of the paint, but the marker did fade quickly. “I see two problems with your plan.”
“What plan?”
“Not caring about what happens to your home.”
“Ok, shoot.” Why she even asked, Aggie didn’t know.
“First, you’re lying to yourself. Even if you pretend not to care, act like you don’t, and even learn not to notice, you do.”
“Second thing?” She didn’t like the uneasy feeling that he was right.
“Second,” he began, standing and frowning at the obvious streaks of scrubbed area, “is that your children will never learn to take proper care of things. You can’t do that to them.”
“I hate it when you’re right.”
Luke laughed. “And I need to get the paint out and fix that.”
“I can’t paint the walls every time a child--”
“Sure you can. It’s a tiny section, not an entire room.”
With hands raised in surrender, Aggie took a few steps back. “Ok, ok. Just wait until he’s down for his nap, will you?”
She knew she sounded ungrateful, but Aggie didn’t know how to respond anymore. She was weary-- over-weary actually. It seemed as if every day was a huge lesson in coping skills, and everyone else had the answers while she floundered in an abyss of confusion. “It’s just not fair,” she whispered.
“What, Cari?”
Aggie glanced around to see what her little charge needed, but didn’t see anyone. “Huh?”
“You sounded like Cari. ‘It’s not faiw, Wuke!’”
Laughter at herself seemed to crumble the walls of discouragement and dissatisfaction. “I guess I did.” She forced a smile that slowly became genuine and said, “You know, someone, probably your mom, told me not to let myself wish away their days, but I’ve been doing that.”
“Wish their days away?” Luke rinsed his hands and stowed the ‘eraser’ on the back of the sink. “I don’t get it.”
“Well, I’ve been counting the days until school starts, so I get a break.” She glanced around to make sure none of the children were in earshot. “Six hours of just the younger three sounds like a vacation right now.”
“Mom’s probably right, but I can see how fewer people in the house would mean less work and less mess. That has to be appealing on a hard day.”
Tears, accompanied by indignant wails, interrupted their conversation. Laird brought Lorna, covered with scratches and scrapes, to Aggie and then disappeared out the back door, assuring them that he’d make sure the puppy corral was fixed. His words made no sense, but Aggie called thanks and started cleaning off Lorna’s injuries. “What’d you do?”
“The puppies got out. I catched them. Then I fell.” The child gave her injuries an angry scowl. “They’s bad puppies.”
Luke glanced out the window, and then beckoned for Aggie to come see. “That’s some good thinking. I’m impressed.”
As she dabbed Lorna’s arms and legs dry, Aggie watched Laird dig a trench around the outside of the makeshift puppy enclosure and drop it below ground a foot. The chances of the puppies climbing a three-foot fence were much lower than them digging down a foot. Just as she started to comment, Laird enlisted the help of Ellie, Tavish, and Kenzie. The children began a search for something, but Aggie couldn’t imagine what.
“What do you think they’re looking for?”
A huge grin split Luke’s face. “He is having them find rocks.”
“Why?”
He started to answer, but Ellie brought back the first good-sized stone. “Watch, see?”
She did see. Laird took the stone, and then another rock from Kenzie, and laid them along the edge of the fence. Even if the dogs did try to dig under the chicken wire, they’d find a rock on the other side. “That’s pretty impressive. Seems like a lot of work for a temporary situation, though.”
“Well, it shows he’s thinking. It won’t hurt them at all, and who knows, now you’ll have a nice little chicken yard.”
“Oh, no. No chickens for me. Nuh uh.” One last glance at the project in progress made Aggie shake her head. “I wouldn’t have been surprised to see Tavish do that, but Laird…” She frowned. “Then again, he did make my shoe holder.”
“That thing is ingenious. Corinne has put in an order for one as soon as she can find a chest big enough for me to convert.”
Aggie frowned and began pulling leftover hot dogs from the fridge. “With your woodworking skills, why not just build it?”
“I am. She just doesn’t know that. It didn’t occur to her to have me do that, so I get the fun of surprising her.”
“Laird is so funny. Half the time he’s oblivious to the world around him, lost in whatever it is he does when he’s not goofing off with the kids, and the other times, he really gets into a project and does a great job.”
“He thrives on praise. It doesn’t take much either. Just a few words telling him that he thought something out well or did a good thorough job, and he’ll happily work for hours.”
“I think working with you has been good for him.” Aggie popped the plate of grilled dogs in the microwave and dragged out a bag of buns. “He seems more mature. I thought maybe it was too much, but your mom says he’ll balance himself.” Another glance out the window brought a fresh smile to her face. “I hope she’s right. I like this side of him, but I’d miss the goofy kid that dusts ceiling fans with socks if he disappeared.”
“Mom’s probably right.” Luke scrounged through the pantry. “Do you have a can of pork and beans?”
“A can. That’s funny. Yes, there are a few cans in there. It’ll take at least two, maybe three. I like to start with two though. Fewer leftovers is a plus. I’m no good at using up leftovers.”
Luke grew quiet. He found the beans, opened them, dumped them in a pan, and set it on the stove. While she assembled hot dogs with condiments, he chopped a few stalks of celery into sticks and slathered most of them with cream cheese. Aggie noticed the plate with plain sticks and smiled. He knew how her children liked their food. There was something comforting in that.
“Mibs?”
“Hmm?”
“I have a confession.”
A glance at his face told her he was upset by something. “Well, I hear it’s good for the soul.” Her joke fell flat, and she knew it.
“I just hope it’s good for the friendship.” He glanced at her before continuing. “I overheard your conversation with Vannie this morning.”
At first, his words meant nothing to her. He watched her face as she tried to remember what conversation and what they’d discussed. At last, she shrugged. “Ok, enlighten me. I don’t remember.”
“She’s very concerned with getting you paired off with someone, isn’t she?”
Understanding sent a flush of embarrassment to her face. “I hope I didn’t offend you. I wasn’t trying to imply there’s anything wrong with you. I was just trying to get her to see that men around didn’t have to mean romance.”
“I understood that, Aggie.” The familiar working of his jaw, the silence, and the deliberate movements he made stirring the beans and replacing the celery in the fridge
brought a new smile to her face. She could almost anticipate his conversational delays these days. “I just felt bad that I’d listened to a private conversation, and I think you told her something that may not be accurate.”
“No worries on the conversation. If I’d wanted it truly private, I would have shut the door.”
“That won’t do much good in there without a door knob.”
“Yeah, I need to put that back on. She’s earned it, I think.”
“I’ll do it after lunch.” He leaned his palms on the island and waited for Aggie to meet his gaze. “I want you to know, Mibs, not every man can only be either a friend or something more. Some men are willing to maintain a good friendship until the time is right for something more.”
Mibs says: Mom?
Martha says: Mibs? What is Mibs?
Aggie says: Sorry, I change it to that for Luke.
Martha says: And why--oh! Cute. That’s clever.
Aggie says: Well tell me, because I’m totally lost on it. I mean, seriously!
Martha says: You don’t know why he calls you Mibs?
Aggie says: No, and he won’t tell me.
Martha says: It’s a perfect nickname.
Aggie says: Aggie is a nickname for Pete’s sake!
Martha says: Well, Pete must not have told Luke that. Besides, I think it’s charming that he nicknamed you at all. I’d gotten the impression he wasn’t one of your local admirers yet.
Aggie says: Well, yesterday I would have agreed, but now I’m not so sure.
Martha says: What do you mean?
Aggie says: Well, he’s always been friendly--like a big brother, you know?
Martha says: Yes, that’s how he seemed to me. I respected him for it. He didn’t ask you out did he? That’d ruin everything.
Aggie says: No, he didn’t. I don’t think he will either, but…
Martha says: Come on, Aggie. What’s wrong?
Aggie says: Well, Vannie was on one of her, “How will you ever get married with all these kids,” kicks. Honestly, that girl seems to think that marriage is the end-all of life or something.
Martha says: Well, it is a very important part of most women’s lives. You always were a little more pragmatic about it than Allie or Tina.
Most girls want to grow up, get married, and be a mommy at some part of their childhood at least. You always were happy at the thought--or not. Didn’t matter to you.
Aggie says: I don’t think that’s totally accurate. I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m afraid that I never wanted to be disappointed, so I chose to think in terms of maybe rather than hopefully.
Martha says: That sounds like you. Even when you were a toddler, you’d rather I said no than maybe. “No maybe. Yes or no, mommy!”
Aggie says: *Groans* That sounds so much like Cari it isn’t even funny.
Martha says: I’ve always seen a great deal of you in that child.
Aggie says: Oh, Mom. We both know I was the quiet and retiring Ellie!
Martha says: I did not laugh. I did NOT laugh! I am also a liar.
Aggie says: *giggles*
Martha says: So what happened to make you think Luke might have changed his focus on your friendship.
Aggie says: Well, it’s not that exactly. I don’t think he’ll be any different tomorrow than he was today, yesterday, or last month but…
Martha says: I don’t get it then.
Aggie says: Well, I tried to explain to Vannie that friendships with men don’t have to be romantic, and she used Luke as an example of a man who was my friend but didn’t want to go out with me.
Martha says: I would have made the same comparison.
Aggie says: I know, right? So, then she asked if I’d go out with Luke if he asked, and I said no. I told her that going out with guys who were friends seemed to mess up the friendship and he wouldn’t want to anyway so it was good. Or something like that.
Martha says: So what’s the problem?
Aggie says: Luke overheard us.
Martha says: Oh, no. He didn’t come in and ask you out. Tell me he did not ask you out. I thought that boy had more sense.
Aggie says: He didn’t. He just told me that I was wrong. He said that maybe some men could only be either a friend or a boyfriend, but not all men. He said some men can be just a friend while waiting for something more.
Martha says: So you think he was saying he’s waiting?
Aggie says: Well at first, no. At first, I thought he was pointing out that William was willing to be a friend for now until I was ready to move into a different direction. That William was just giving me space until the right time.
Martha says: That makes sense. He seems to have a good pulse on what’s going on around there. I’ve been tempted to add him to the messenger just to get his take on things sometimes.
Aggie says: Go ahead. He’d probably love it. Well, it may be that. I’m probably being overly sensitive to things right now, but after he left today, I was thinking about some of the things he’s said and done, and I wondered if maybe I misread them at the time.
Martha says: Like what?
Aggie says: Well, mostly compliments and such. There was that time he caught me goofing off and
Aggie says: Oh, I’m being stupid.
Martha says: Just tell me, and I’ll decide that.
Aggie says: I was singing that old Pippi Longstocking song, but I changed it to “Aggie-Millie-Mommy.” Yeah, it was stupid, but I was happy and it was fun. He saw me, and looking back, some people might think he flirted with me.
Martha says: What did he say, Aggie?
Aggie says: Well, I was disgusted with my appearance at first, and I think he must have seen that because he said something like, “You look nice but then you always do.” I was kind of taken aback.
Martha says: Doesn’t sound too flirty to me. It sounds like something he’d say to anyone.
Aggie says: Well, that’s not what got me. I walked away and said
something like, “What got into him?” kind of under my breath, you know?
Martha says: Yeah, I can see that.
Aggie says: And then he was right there behind me. I tell you, that guy can sneak up on you even when you know he could! Anyway, he said, “I can’t imagine.”
Martha says: And that seems flirtatious to you?
Aggie says: Not alone, but considering who it is and similar things…
Martha says: Like what?
Aggie says: Ok, remember that movie, Funny Face with Fred Astaire? Now, I feel stupid. I bet you’re right. It’s probably nothing.
Martha says: Yeah, go on.
Aggie says: Well, we were watching it one night, and you know how much I love that scene where Fred Astaire knows she’s at the chapel.
Martha says: Right.
Aggie says: Well, I must have sighed or made some sappy-eyed movement, because he asked if I was a romantic. I told him I thought the whole thing of knowing where she’d be was enchanting.
Martha says: Yes, it is, isn’t it? Hollywood used to be good at that.
Aggie says: I wish they’d regain it. Anyway, we were talking about what enchanting really is, and Luke said that if my definition of enchanting was right, then I was enchanting because I know what people like and do it for them.
Martha says: Well, that’s a little more personal. I can see maybe…
Aggie says: Then he said what made me wonder. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but now…
Martha says: Is it too personal, Aggie? You seem awfully reluctant to tell me about this. I thought maybe you were just feeling foolish, but if you just don’t want to share…
Aggie says: Oh, no. You’re right; I do feel foolish. And, I’m a little scared that maybe I’ll mess things up.
Martha says: Well then, do tell. What’d he say?
Aggie says: I’ll never forget it. I was lying on the couch, and he was in his chair. So, I just rolled my head back to see what he was trying to say, you know how he does that. Any
way, he just looked down at me and said, “Then again, you’ve enchanted me for a long time.”
Martha says: But at the time, you didn’t think anything of it?
Aggie says: No, not really. It just seemed like Luke’s way. I hadn’t really added his little comments together until today, but after him telling me that some men wait, I wondered.
Martha says: Well, I don’t know. He’s probably giving you a gentle hint to be careful of William’s feelings. You know, don’t lead him on and stuff, but that’s a pretty personal comment. The only reason I don’t assume that he meant more is that you didn’t think anything of it at the time. I know you don’t see a potential boyfriend behind every face, but you’re not obtuse either.
Aggie says: What do I do?
Martha says: Why do you have to do anything?
Aggie says: I guess.
Martha says: Look, Aggie, if he wanted to turn this into something more, he’d have said so. As it was, he gave you a bigger picture of what you’d told Vannie. I just think if you think about this too much and get too worked up, you’re going to make things miserable when he comes back to finish my room and the basement.
Aggie says: Your room, huh?
Martha says: That’s right. My room. I intend to use it a lot.
Aggie says: I miss you, Mom.
Martha says: Isn’t this technology stuff wonderful? We’d never get to converse this much a hundred years ago.
Aggie says: Uh oh, I think Kenzie is having another nightmare. I better go.
Martha says: Well, you sleep well, and don’t worry about the Luke thing. If he wanted you to know he had feelings for you, he’d have told you. Luke doesn’t seem like the kind of man who would be evasive about stuff like that.
Aggie says: No, you’re right. He wouldn’t. If he wants me to know something, he’ll tell me. I think what he wanted me to know was that I only saw half the picture. Thanks, Mom.
Martha says: Night, Aggie.
Aggie says: Night.
Wardrobe Workshop
Chapter 10
Tuesday, August 26th
It felt like a sweatshop was in full production in the Milliken-Stuart household. While Aggie ran interference between the younger children, kept Ian from destroying half the house, and tried to catch up on laundry, Luke worked on the guest room. Libby and Vannie, with occasional stints by Aggie during naptime, cranked out skirt after dress after nightgown. Libby made shorts for Kenzie to wear under her dresses from the same fabric as the skirt of the dress, and Aggie questioned her.
For Keeps (Aggie's Inheritance) Page 13