by Aleo, Toni
I’m a fucking goner.
Chapter 16
Amberlyn
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I watch as his eyes widen, and I’m surprised I said it. I just want him so bad. My whole body is on fire; my heart is pounding so hard, I am worried it is gonna crack my ribs. My breathing is labored and I feel as if I’ve run a thousand miles. I am dripping with arousal for this man and I am ready. We’ve been playing this little game of wanting each other for way too long, and yeah, we are in a field with horses eating some grass, but honestly, I don’t care. I know his mom or anyone could walk up on us right now, but those thoughts couldn’t be further from my mind.
It’s time.
Before anything else can leave either of our lips, he rolls us over, coming down solidly between my legs. He is so hard, and I love the feel of him. I can’t wait for him to be inside me, and by the feel of it, I’m not going to have to wait much longer. Going onto his knees, he throws his shirt up and over his head and onto the grass. I take in his strong chest, the abs, and the little trail of blond that leads down into his pants. Good God, he is gorgeous.
Lifting me up, he pulls my shirt off then my bra, but just as his mouth is about to drop to my breast, he pauses, looking up at me, his mouth a breath away from my nipple. “Stop me now, love, or I won’t be stopping.”
“Don’t stop,” I pant, pressing my breast into his mouth.
His hand takes ahold of my other breast as he sucks my nipple into his mouth, his other hand holding it in place as he feasts on me. Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back as he sucks and nibbles on me in the most delectable way. I’m not sure if it is my arousal or the heat from the sun, but I am burning up. When he leaves my right breast for my left, I cry out from the breeze hitting my breast. My pussy clenches in response, my whole body shaking with anticipation of him inside of me.
I’m scared. I’m excited. I’m freaking out, but I don’t care. I need him. I need this.
I lie back and he kisses down my stomach, pausing where my jeans start. Sitting up, he unbuttons my jeans and pulls them down with my panties. Kissing my center, he dips his tongue inside me. Opening me, he buries his face between my wet lips and ruthlessly flicks his tongue along my clit. I squirm under his mouth, crying out and digging my fingers into the blanket, needing something to hold on to before I rocket off the damn blanket. When his fingers enter me, I almost scream from the sheer feeling of something inside me. It’s the first time he’s done that, and soon he is fucking me with his fingers, my whole body shaking out of control. The pleasure is unbelievable, and it’s not long before I am writhing under his mouth, crying out his name as he licks up the length of my pussy, his fingers slowing inside me. My body shakes from the aftershocks of my orgasm as he stands, tearing his jeans off and then his boxers.
He is erect and I’m breathless at the sight. While I had it in my mouth not even a week ago, there is something about him standing above me, his cock hard and long, the blue sky behind him, and the sun glistening against his sweaty skin. He sure is a sight to see.
“You’re beautiful,” I whisper and he smiles, his skin dark red in splotches on his body. I can see where my nails dug into his shoulders, and I worry I might have hurt him, but his face shows nothing but want.
“I was thinking the same thing,” he says as he comes down on top of me. Lying against me, he kisses my jaw, my chin, and my mouth as my heart just pounds out of control.
It’s about to happen.
I’m about to lose my virginity.
Closing my eyes, tears sting as his mouth moves with mine. When he pulls away, I open them to watch as he sits up, his hand coming behind my knee, opening me wider to him. He sends me a grin and asks, “Ya ready, mo stór?”
I don’t say anything; I bite my lip as I nod. Holding my gaze, he smiles again, taking my face with his other hand.
“I love you.”
That eases some of my panic and I smile back. “I love you too.”
Leaning down, he kisses me, long and with so much passion, I almost cry. He loves me so much, and Lord knows, I love him too. When he pulls away, I want to beg him to come back, but then he is putting a condom on, his hands shaking. I want to smile at the sight of him but I, too, am shaking with lust. I watch as he takes his cock in his hand and he directs it inside me. Closing my eyes, I listen as he groans while I take him inch by painful inch. My body feels as if it is being ripped apart from the inside. I want to push him out, but I know it’s tough the first time. That it gets better. So I bite my lip as my body goes taut. I’m worried he won’t fit, but soon he is completely inside me, filling me in ways I’ve never been filled, and I can feel his hard breath against my jaw as I gasp for my own breath.
“My God,” he breathes before he pulls out and then slowly enters again. It doesn’t hurt that bad this time, but it still stings. Still biting my lip, I dig my nails into the back of his arm as he moves back out of me. But when he enters me again, he stills, a strong grunt coming from him and his cock pulsating inside of me.
“Damn it.”
I wait for him to move, but he doesn’t, and soon he is pulling out of me. Confused, I open my eyes to look up into his gorgeous face. Sweat is dripping down his temple, but he won’t look at me. Running his hand down his face, he takes in a deep breath and shakes his head.
“That’s it?” I ask, and I wish like hell I haven’t once the words leave my lips. “Wait! No, act like you didn’t hear that! I’m sorry! Ah!”
He laughs, but I know it isn’t from his heart. He is hurt I said that, and I couldn’t hate myself more.
Way to ruin it, Amberlyn!
Still laughing, he shakes his head. “I’m so embarrassed.”
Internally I scream before coming up on my knees, crawling over to him and wrapping my arms around him, kissing down his jaw.
Quickly, I say, “No, it was perfect.”
He scoffs. “I couldn’t even last. My God, you are so damn tight.”
“It’s okay, I promise. I just thought it was supposed to feel good.”
He cuts me a look. “So ya didn’t even enjoy it?”
Fuck me!
I know my face says it all, and before I can even try to lie, he shakes his head and looks away. “Fucking hell, I’m a fucking wanker.”
“No, you are perfect,” I say, trying to make it better, but I’m sure I am making it worse.
“Ah, hell, Amberlyn, let me wallow,” he says, shaking his head. “Don’t lie to me.”
Closing my eyes, tears leak out the sides as I lean my head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
He laughs, again soulless. “What for? I’m the one who failed ya.”
“No, not at all,” I say, looking at the profile of his lovely face. “It was the first time. I’m sure the second time will be good.”
He looks down, moving his hand along his naked thighs. “The first time was supposed to be memorable. Now when ya think of this, you’ll think of me coming after two pumps in ya.”
I close my lips tightly to keep from laughing. This. Is. Not. Funny. But soon, I am sputtering with laughter, and it’s not long before he is too. Looking over at me, he wraps his arms around me and we lie back on the blanket. Cuddling into his side, I hook my leg over his hip before meeting my lips to his. Holding me tightly, he moves his mouth with mine, but then he pulls back.
“I’ll rock yer world next time.”
“Of course you will,” I say with a nod, and then I smile sheepishly. “Did I hurt your feelings? I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head. “Ya have that diarrhea of the mouth, as Fiona calls it. Plus your face tells me everything you are thinking. It wasn’t good, but it will be next time. For sure.”
“I do love you,” I say as I run my finger along his jaw, looking deep into his eyes. “So much. I wouldn’t have wanted my first time to be with anyone but you.”
His eyes fill with passion as he nods. “I wish it had been my first time too.”
I press my li
ps together to keep my retort in, but I swear he reads my mind because he says, “Which, the way I came, might as well have been.”
I giggle uncontrollably beside him, and he wraps his arms tightly around me, covering my mouth with his and silencing me. Playfully, we kiss and just laugh at the sheer perfection that is us. I wouldn’t change a thing about this. It was a hot mess, but our hot mess. When my phone starts to sound, I pull away because it’s Fiona calling.
“Sorry,” I say as Taylor Swift sings about shaking it off. “Fiona is calling.”
“Yeah,” he says as I lean over him, getting my phone out of my pants.
Hitting the talk button, I say, “Hello?”
“Hey, where are you?”
I pause. “Riding with Declan.”
She laughs. “Riding him or a horse?”
I giggle and she screams, causing me to hold to phone out. “Ah, Fiona!”
She apologizes before giggling like a little girl. “I want all the details,” she says closely into the phone, and I just laugh.
“Yeah, yeah, why’d you call?”
“Dinner with Ma and Da? I’m not surprised ya forgot.”
“Shit! I’m coming.”
“Are ya now?” she asks suggestively, and I just shake my head before hanging up on her. “We gotta go. We are supposed to be at dinner.”
“Oh shite,” Declan says before hopping up, but when he does, I see that there is blood all over his stomach.
“Oh my God! What happened?”
He looks down and shakes his head in confusion, but when he looks back at me, he points at me. “You’re bleeding.”
I look down to see that I am, in fact, covered in blood from the waist down.
“This was a train wreck.”
He laughs as he pulls me to him. “Yeah, but who cares?” he asks, and I smile. Winking at me, he says, “I love ya.”
I cup his face as I nod. Looking deep into his eyes, I feel so well loved. Yeah, this was a train wreck, but I’d take a train wreck and feel completely in love over the perfect first time and for it to end in a month.
This is forever.
Train wreck, rain checks, and all.
Kissing his lips quickly, I pull back and say, “I couldn’t agree more.”
Chapter 17
Amberlyn
After going back to Declan’s room to clean up and to change—thank God, I had that ugly darn dress—we rush back to my aunt and uncle’s. The table was already set and everyone was seated when we got there. To my surprise, Kane was seated too. He never comes for dinner. Eyeing him as he gives me a look, I give him one back, which results in us both snickering. Declan pulls out my seat for me and I sit down, sending him a grin before he sits down beside me, both of us apologizing for our lateness.
“He stole me away from tea, and we went riding and lost track of time. I’m so sorry,” I say, sending a shy grin to my aunt. I am probably grinning like a fool, and I’m sure the whole room knows I’ve just had sex.
But thankfully, my aunt waves me off and says, “It’s fine, honey. We just sat down. Kane and Michael were discussing something with some kind of compressor. We had no trouble waiting.”
I smile, but when my gaze meets Fiona’s playful one, I turn bright red. I hope that my eyes are conveying the fact that I will kill her if she says anything, but I guess they don’t because she says, “I’m sure that isn’t the only thing you lost.”
Declan looks up and then at me before looking over at Fiona and chuckling as he shakes his head. Kane is holding back his laughter, a sinful smirk on his face while my poor aunt and uncle are in the dark.
Thank God.
Glaring, I reach for my cup and shake my head as my aunt asks, “What did you lose, honey? Did you find it?”
When beer spurts out Kane’s nose and Declan starts to choke, I swear I am going to kill Fiona. Even as she grins at me, her face glowing and looking beautiful, she too is fighting to keep it together, her eyes dancing with laughter. But I know I might have to end my cousin.
“Jesus, Kane, ya all right, lad?” my uncle asks, and Kane coughs in between laughing.
“Yes, sir. Goodness,” Kane sputters as he wipes his face and shakes his head. “You’re evil, ya know,” he mutters at Fiona before kissing her cheek.
“That she is,” I say, and I feel bad since my aunt and uncle have no clue what is going on. Declan is still snickering but trying to hide it as he holds his cup up over his mouth. I am burning with embarrassment, but I can’t say I don’t expect it from her. It’s classic Fiona. She lives to embarrass me.
“I don’t know what is going on, but how’s everything coming for the wedding?” my aunt asks.
I smile as I sit straighter, ignoring the laughter of my cousin, her boyfriend, and mine. “It’s going great. It’s going to be very nice.”
“Still going through with it, then?” my uncle teases, and I nod as Declan grins.
“Yes,” I say as Declan’s fingers lace with mine. “Very much so.”
“Good to hear,” he says, and I believe that he is genuine when he says it. Grinning at him, I lean into Declan and let out a contented sigh as the conversation is brought to a new topic. Whiskey. I always enjoy listening to Declan talk about his business. He is very passionate about it, and it’s easy to tell that he knows everything there is to know about it. I’m very impressed when Kane starts talking, though. Like Declan, he is very savvy in the business and keeps up like a pro. While my aunt, cousin, and I only eat and pipe in when we can, my uncle is up to speed with them, and I think that surprises Declan.
“You’re retired, yes?” Declan asks, his eyes trained on my uncle.
“I am. Been for a couple years,” he answers, a playful grin on his face. “Was glad to go.”
“I didn’t know you were retired,” I say before Declan can go on. “I thought the B&B has always been your job.”
Looking over at me, my uncle shakes his head. “No love, this was my ma and da’s, but I got into the whiskey business with Jameson Whiskey and worked for a very long time. I was finally able to work at home, which was good since my da had long passed and my ma was heading that way.” Taking ahold of my aunt’s hand, he smiles. “Shelia ran this without me for a while, raising Fiona in my absence. Then I decided it was time for me to be home all the time and quit, but we say I retired since I did so many years. Best decision, I think, but I do miss the business.”
“And we love having you home,” my aunt says, and I can see that Fiona agrees. I do too; I couldn’t imagine him not being here all the time.
“Ya know, Mr. Maclaster, I’d love to pick yer brain sometime when you have time,” Declan says, his eyes still trained on my uncle. “My whiskey just went into beta testing.”
“Fair play, congratulations,” he says, nodding his head to Declan. My chest burns with pride as Declan grins sheepishly. “What’s it like?”
Grinning at Declan, I listen as he explains each flavor in his whiskey, the slow burn, and the splendor of it.
“I’ve had it. It’s good,” I add, and Declan grins at me as my uncle nods.
“You’ll need to bring me a bottle.”
“I’ll do that tomorrow.”
“Grand, but yeah, after dinner we’ll break out my favorite bottle and we’ll talk the legs off a donkey, yeah?”
“Grand,” Declan says, and I can tell he’s excited. I’m just glad they’re getting along. I want my uncle and aunt to like Declan since I plan to spend the rest of my life with him.
Glancing over at me, he smiles as he reaches for his mug, taking a pull of his beer as Fiona says, “Great, so we’ll clean while you three drink. Seems fair.”
My uncle grins as he tips his drink to her. “Training ya for wifehood.”
When my aunt’s hand comes hard into his chest, I’m sure he regrets that comment. If he didn’t, he sure does when the next sentence leaves her lips. “Oh yeah? Let me say this, you go and get piss drunk, but by the morning, that kitchen will be cl
ean.”
My uncle’s face turn a bit red, but his grin doesn’t give anything away as he nods. “Yes, love.” Leaning over, he kisses her and then glances at Declan and Kane. “And that, my lads, is how it is being a husband.”
That has everyone laughing as we continue to enjoy our dinner. My aunt’s cooking will be one of the biggest things I’ll miss once I leave. Surely though, I’ll have time to come for dinner when I please. If it comes down to home cooking with my aunt or tea with his mom, I’ll have no problem choosing. If she’ll even have me. I’m not sure how it will go once I tell her I’m moving out. I feel like she knows it will happen, but she is hoping that it will be after the wedding, like Fiona had hoped. I really don’t want to leave, but then again, I do. It’s bittersweet. I’d rather not leave them, but the thought of coming home to Declan every single night and waking up to him every morning sounds almost a magical as Disney World.
Once cake is brought out for dessert, I nibble on my piece as Kane and my uncle go back on the subject of the compressor in the beer chest. Declan’s fingers dance along my wrist, and when I glance back at him, he is grinning at me. Leaning forward, his lips go to my ear as he whispers, “You are so beautiful.”
My mouth pulls at the side as I lean into him, his lips still pressing to my ear. I love him so much.
“When are you going to tell them?” he whispers again and I close my eyes.
“Ugh, get a room,” Fiona groans, and Declan’s laughter tickles my ear as he pulls back. “Or a field,” she notes, sending Kane into a fit of laughter as Declan chokes on the swig he has just taken.
“I’m gonna kill you,” I threaten, and she laughs along with Kane as my aunt and uncle look at us like we have all lost our minds.
“What is going on?” my aunt asks, and I shake my head.
“Nothing,” I answer before Fiona can. “She’s lost it.”
“Oh, I’m not the one losing anything, but you sure have,” she teases some more, and now Declan is laughing and I feel like I’m gonna catch fire with my embarrassment. Leaning into Fiona, Kane almost falls out of his seat as his body shakes with laughter. I glare over at Declan, and his laughter turns to coughing as he reaches for his water, looking away.