by Lori Wilde
Kelsey stuck her winnings into her pocket and Noah guided her over to the prize table so that she could cash in her chips. He enjoyed the feel of her body so close to his. He moved his hand from her arm to the small of her back. God, he loved touching her.
He slid her a sidelong glance as she stepped up to the table and examined the prizes. She picked up a food processor.
“If you like to cook, that might be fun,” he said. “But it’s not the least bit Christmassy.”
“What if I use it to make Christmas treats?”
He made a noise like the buzzer on Jeopardy whenever a contestant gave a wrong answer.
“Okay, fine.” She put the food processor back down. “How about this Christmas blanket?” She fingered a flannel throw blanket with a picture of Santa’s face on it.
“Is it fun?” he asked.
“It would be fun if you snuggled underneath it with me.”
“How about this?” he asked, reaching for a strand of battery-powered Christmas lights that changed colors to different patterns and played holiday music to boot. “I could wrap them around you, turn them on, and we could have all kinds of fun.”
“Sold,” she said, cashing her chips for the musical lights.
The cashier bagged up the lights for her. Winked. “Make sure you pick up extra batteries. I have a feeling you two are going to use them up fast.”
Chapter 25
“That was embarrassing,” Kelsey said as Noah escorted her away from the gift table.
“Small town.” He shrugged. “What are you gonna do? Gossip will always be the lifeblood of this place.”
“It doesn’t bother you that everyone knows we’re . . .” She paused. What were they?
“Not at all.” His voice was smooth and velvety. “I’m proud to be seen with you.”
Suddenly, it felt as if things were moving too fast. She didn’t know whether to slam on the brakes or mash the gas pedal and drive right over the cliff.
Her life was so complicated and looking at his bruised face, it occurred to her just how much she could complicate his. She cared for Noah deeply and the last thing she ever wanted was for blowback from her mother to land on him. Filomena had threatened him once. What was to say she wouldn’t do it again?
“Listen,” Noah said. “The party is winding down, but I have to stick around to help clean up. I’m going to put you in an Uber and send you back to the Rockabye.”
“I could stick around and help.”
He cut his eyes at her. “Dressed like that?”
“You’re dressed in a tux.”
“I brought a change of clothes. I’m putting on jeans as soon as everyone leaves. Besides, you need your rest. You’re not going to get much sleep tomorrow night.”
“Oooh,” she said. “I like the sound of that. What have you got up your sleeve, Noah MacGregor?”
“You’ll have to wait and see.” He bent to kiss her. “Grab your coat and I’ll walk you out. Do you want me to call you a car, so you can go back via the road, or do you want the ferry so you can go back by water?”
She shivered. “A car. It’s gotten colder.”
“Your wish is my command.” He pulled his phone and ordered a car on the Uber app.
“Listen,” she said. “I want to thank you for the gifts you sent me. The masseuse, Shirley for the mani-pedi, the kismet cookie, the amaryllis. I felt pampered and cared for.”
“Good. That’s how I wanted you to feel.”
“It was very nice, but tonight . . .” She smiled. “Well, that was perfect.”
“I’m glad you liked it. Not so bad yourself, Firefly.”
“But I do want to set something straight.”
He looked a little worried but pasted on a gung-ho smile. “Sure, what’s that?”
“I get the feeling that you’re expecting something more than I can give you right now.”
“No, no, no.” His smile didn’t slip for a minute, but she saw the muscle in his jaw tic. “My only goal is to make you happy.”
She blinked at him. “Are you sure, because I was getting the distinct impression from those gifts you showered on me that—”
“Absolutely not. We discussed this. Keep it caz. No strings attached. I get it. We’re cool.”
“Oh good.” She let out a long-held breath. It wasn’t that she didn’t hope for more from Noah, it’s just that she wasn’t ready for him.
“Does this mean you don’t want to get together tomorrow night?”
“I’m looking very forward to that. Especially after tonight.” She licked her lips.
“Glad to hear that because do I have some fun things planned for you.” His smile was genuine this time. He winked. “Just you wait and see.”
Mind churning about the pleasures Noah had in store for her, Kelsey headed for the coat check area. Her imagination was so revved, she hardly heard Tasha call her name.
“Kelsey!”
She tipped the coat check clerk and turned to find her friend standing behind her. Sean hovered, a few steps away, as if he were Tasha’s bodyguard.
“Hey,” she said. “What’s up?”
“It’s time to give you this back.” Tasha held out Kelsey’s phone to her. “Past time, really. It’s been over seventy-two hours and you haven’t asked for it back.”
Was it possible she’d forgotten about her phone? Her thoughts had been so full of Noah, she hadn’t missed it.
“Did you turn it on?”
Tasha shook her head. “It’s your phone.”
Kelsey took the phone, sudden dread hooking into her.
“You know, you don’t have to turn it back on until we leave,” Tasha said.
“I should go ahead and face it head-on.” Bracing herself for a barrage of angry messages, Kelsey hit the power button and watched the screen as it booted up, her muscles tense. Her eye started to twitch.
“Do you want me to hang around?” Tasha asked. “Or would you rather have some privacy?”
“I’m okay. Go be with Sean. Enjoy the party while it lasts.”
Tasha’s brow wrinkled. “You sure?”
“Positive.” Kelsey whipped up an encouraging smile. She tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. She was still getting used to the shorter haircut.
“Okay, if you need me, just text.”
“I’ll be fine.”
She waited until her friend and Sean had gone back to the dance floor before she looked down at her phone.
Nothing from her mother.
No texts. No missed calls. No email.
It had been five days since Filomena had sent her goons to try and kidnap Kelsey and not once had she tried to contact her.
Wow. What did it mean?
Could her mother be acting like a normal human being for once and giving her space to figure things out?
It was a nice thought, but a highly dangerous one. Only fools underestimated Filomena and Kelsey was no fool.
Her mother was plotting revenge. Kelsey knew it in her bones. At this point, the rage-fueled harangues and tirades were preferable to total silence.
By letting her mother control her life, she’d missed out on so much. How had she gone so long without the freedom to decide what she liked and what she didn’t? She’d been nothing but an extension of her mother, doing what she had to do to maintain the peace.
But at what cost?
She’d sacrificed her sense of self for calm. She’d run from a fight, knowing she could not win against her mother. It had never occurred to her to just walk away.
“You ready to go?” Noah appeared in front of her wearing a sexy smile, blue jeans, cowboy boots, and his familiar plaid shirt. The man looked just as delicious in work clothes as he did in a tuxedo. “Your Uber is here.”
She glanced around and saw that most of the guests had gone or were at the door wishing Joel good-night. “Yes,” she said, stuffing her phone in her purse. “I’m ready.”
Noah slipped his arm through hers and guided her ou
tside.
The night air was bracing in an it’s-good-to-be-alive kind of way. She felt brave, she felt free, she felt as if she were living life large. Never mind what her mother was up to.
It was time for Kelsey to embrace who she was. She wasn’t a grinch. Far from it. She was falling in love. With Christmas, with Twilight, with Noah. She didn’t know what that meant long-term. She didn’t have to figure it out tonight.
Letting go of planning was a revelation for a woman who organized everything to the nth degree. It was okay not to know. Okay to embrace the uncertainty. Okay to just enjoy the beautiful gift of this moment without having to have all the answers or know what the future held.
He walked her down the pier to the vehicle waiting at the boat ramp. All along the shore Christmas lights twinkled. Even though it was close to midnight, the good people of Twilight kept their Christmas spirit shining out into the night. A carpet of stars glittered above them.
The very same stars that had once shined down on them when they were teenagers in the throes of their first romance.
Kelsey burrowed deeper into her coat and snuggled closer to Noah. The smell of cedar rode the air and from a Mexican restaurant on the shore, the smell of fajitas. He held her tight.
When they reached the end of the pier to where the Uber waited with the engine running, Noah turned to kiss her temple at the muscle that tended to get twitchy.
But she wasn’t twitchy now.
She felt settled and safe. She wasn’t scared of the dark or the water. Which was weird, but at the same time liberating. She had nothing to fear. Noah held her in the circle of his arm. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her.
The wind ruffled her hair as his lips shifted from her temple to her lips. “Good night, Firefly. Sleep well.”
“Wait!” Tasha came bounding down the pier after them, slipping into her coat on the fly. “I’ll ride with you.”
Noah held the back door open for them. Kelsey scooted across the seat as Tasha slipped underneath Noah’s arm and piled in beside her.
“Get home safely,” Noah said. “I’ll see you ladies tomorrow.” He shut the door and waved good-bye as the Uber drove off.
“Well?” Tasha asked, squirming around in the seat until she was facing Kelsey.
“Put your seat belt on.”
“Yes, mother.” Tasha had to rearrange herself again to get her seat belt buckled.
“How come you’re here with me instead of with Sean?”
“He’s staying to help clean up, but said I had to leave since I looked way too hot in this banana cream pie dress. Turns out banana cream pie is his favorite dessert. Who knew?” Tasha giggled.
“Too much temptation, huh?”
“I’m gonna wear him down yet, you wait and see. But enough about me. What was on your phone?”
“Nothing.”
“Eww.” Tasha pulled her lips away from her teeth and hissed in a breath. “Scary.”
“Yeah.”
Tasha reached across the seat and squeezed Kelsey’s forearm. “I’m here.”
“Thank you, Tash. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Same deal-ee-o from this side of the car, sister. I love you unconditionally, even if she can’t.”
Kelsey felt tears press at the back of her eyelids, but she blinked them away. She’d cried enough for one day.
“But things with Noah are good?”
“So good.”
“Awesome sauce! When are you guys seeing each other again?”
“Tomorrow evening.”
“Squee! I’m so excited for you.” Tasha slapped both thighs with her palms. “I think it’s time for your last dare.”
“Already? We still have a week left in Twilight.”
“You’re making such great progress. I’m proud of you. Blowing through those dares like they were easy and I know they weren’t.”
Kelsey thought about how much she’d changed in one short week and Tasha’s dares had been a big part of her growth. Sure, Clive leaving her at the altar had been the main catalyst, but Tasha bringing her to Twilight and Noah and issuing those dares had kickstarted her goal of finding herself.
“What’s the final dare?”
“Please yourself.”
“What?”
“I dare you to please yourself.”
“Are you talking about—”
“Masturbation? No, but that’s not a bad idea either.”
“Tasha!” Kelsey inclined her head toward the Uber driver.
“Kelsey!”
“Elaborate . . . on the dare, not the other thing.”
“I dare you to do what pleases you. Not your mother, not your father, not Noah, not me. You. What do you like? What do you want?”
“In regard to . . . ?”
“Anything, everything.”
“That’s too broad. Could you narrow it down for me?”
“Okay, let’s start with your career. Do you really want to work as the mayor’s office manager? Or would you rather run Lionel Berg’s gubernatorial campaign? Or is there something else you’d rather do entirely?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then that is your fifth dare. Figure out what it is you truly want to do with your life and then please yourself. Don’t factor anyone else into the equation. This is about you and you alone.”
“But that feels so selfish—”
“Ptt, ptt, ptt.” Tasha held up a palm. “No excuses. This is your Christmas of Yes. The only thing I want to hear out of you is, ‘Yes, Tasha, I accept your dare.’”
“Yes, Tasha.” Kelsey grinned like a loon. “I accept your dare.”
“Perfect, now tell me all about what happened in that little closet and don’t you dare leave a thing out . . .”
“Why are you looking so glum?” Joel asked Noah as he sat counting money. Noah was sweeping up, shoving an industrial push broom over the casino floor. Everyone else had left the Brazos Queen. “We had a great night. It looks like we’re going to double last year’s take. ALS research is going to have a very merry Christmas courtesy of the MacGregor twins.”
“I’m not glum,” Noah denied, his mind tangled up on what Kelsey had told him earlier. She’d made it abundantly clear she hadn’t changed her mind about the no-strings-attached thing. He thought he’d accepted it the first time she’d brought it up, but now he knew he’d been holding out hope that she’d change her mind. That he could change her mind and make her want him the way he wanted her.
“Trouble with Kelsey?”
“Not trouble, no.”
Joel stopped counting. “You’ve fallen in love with her all over again, haven’t you?”
“No,” he mumbled, outright lying to his twin.
A week ago, if anyone had told him that Kelsey James would come storming back into his life and sweep him off his feet, he’d have laughed his ass off. But now? He felt as muddled and confused as the night he’d watched the taillights of her mother’s car disappear into the darkness.
Nothing had really changed.
She might be finally breaking away from her mother and finding herself—and he was damn happy for her about that—but between the two of them, well, she was still that unreachable princess in her ivory tower and he was still plain old Noah MacGregor living on a houseboat on Lake Twilight. He had nothing to offer a woman like her. Never had, never would.
“She’s more relaxed when you’re around,” Joel said.
“Huh?” Noah blinked. He’d zoned out leaning against the push broom.
“Kelsey. Whenever you’re around, she smiles more and her eye stops doing that twitchy thing.” Joel toggled a finger near his own eye. “You’re good for her.”
His twin must have been reading his mind. They had an uncanny ability to know what the other was thinking.
“And she’s good for you.”
“How’s that?”
“Your eyes are brighter, your step quickens, you have more get-up-and-go. She fires you up and
you calm her down. Looks like a good match from where I’m sitting.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t fit in her world and she doesn’t fit in mine. Never have, never will.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“She’s made it clear that all she wants is sex.”
“And that’s bad because . . .”
“I want more.”
Joel sighed. “I’m sorry, bro.”
“I know she’s out of my league. I’ve always known it, but that doesn’t stop me from loving her.”
“You underestimate yourself. That’s always been your problem.”
“I do not.”
“You gave up on basketball.”
“I got injured.”
“You could have recovered from it.”
“There’s plenty of great basketball players out there. The world didn’t need another one.”
“See, underestimating yourself. Until you stop doing that, you’re never going to attract the love you deserve. Whether it’s with Kelsey or someone else.”
“Oh yeah?”
“You’ve got this happy-go-lucky thing going on and that’s great. People love to be around you, but you use it as a reason for not showing up in your own life.”
“Have you been watching Dr. Phil again?”
“No. I’ve just been watching you breeze through life, keeping everything smooth and on the surface for the last twenty-seven years. Here’s the deal, bro. You pursue what you think will bring you satisfaction—”
“Doesn’t everybody?”
“Not to the degree that you do. You believe you are only good or okay if you feel good. You got injured on the basketball court. You felt bad. Therapy made you feel worse, because that’s what physical therapy does for a while until it starts making you feel better. That’s what you did with Melissa and that’s what you’re doing with Kelsey. Giving up too soon.”
“I’m not following you.”
“Are you really that dense or are you just hiding out from yourself? Kelsey is as crazy about you as you are about her. Anyone can see that. But you tell yourself this story about not being good enough for her, because relationships are hard. As soon as turbulence hits, you bail.”
Did he really? Stunned, Noah stared at his twin.
“Don’t let her get away by brushing her off just because it’s easier to let her go than fight for her.”