by Safari Spell
“No, just…bring…”
Unable to finish his sentence, he fell down on the pavement. I quickly got down beside him, checking to make sure he was still conscious. He had blood oozing from his mouth. He looked like he’d been beaten repeatedly and the whiplashes on his body seemed fresh – as if they happened mere minutes before. I touched one of them and it began to glow in sync with my wrist. Um… Just then, I noticed something coming out of the shadows to my left. His dark hair framed his face and covered one glowing eye. I could see his teeth, though – shining in the dark through a sick, twisted grin.
“You did this?” I asked, glaring at Mannix.
He clucked his tongue.
“Oh no, that was your handiwork. Now, if you don’t mind, princess –”
He started towards Spencer, but I stepped between them. Mannix furrowed his brow as I glanced at Spencer, who couldn’t even open his eyes. I wanted to go get Sage, but I couldn’t leave Spencer there. Luckily, I didn’t have to. Sage got to us so fast only the rush of wind made me aware of him. He was glowing with a misty haze on his skin. I knew it meant he could become something bigger, scarier, darker and meaner in seconds. Mannix took a step back and narrowed his eyes.
“Your days are numbered.”
“I’ve got more than you do, I promise you that,” Sage replied.
I knelt on the ground to check on Spencer. Mannix shoved his hands in the back pockets of his jeans. His chin went high in the air.
“You’re full of –”
His head was on the ground before he could finish his sentence. The guitar Sage used to decapitate him was the same one Mika had been playing minutes before. It was glowing the same color as his skin. Blood oozed from the broken strings and splintered the guitar with a hanging sour note. I guess Sage took care of two problems at once.
Sage’s skin faded back to normal as he kicked the mutilated body with such force I thought it might break in half. I had a hard time regaining my breath after watching that.
“Thank God,” Spencer groaned. “He needed to shut up. So damn annoying.”
Sage let go of the guitar and as he hovered over the body lying at his feet. It was as though he was waiting for it to come back to life. I looked at Spencer.
“He was a Hench. Henches –” Spencer said, stopping midsentence to cough, “can suck my disappearing dick.”
Sage still hovered over Mannix. I couldn’t understand why he was acting like he was going to get up. Mannix was missing a head. Spencer raised his feeble hand into the air and Sage gave him a high-five without looking away. I had to smile at that.
“Talor, I want – just want to apologize,” Spencer wheezed, bringing me back.
His skin was nearly bone now. The thick blonde curls that once caused such chaos in the women he crossed were withering away to white strings. I cradled his head, smoothing the hair beneath my thumb in an attempt to soothe us. Pieces fell away. Chunks.
“Did I really do this to you?”
“No, don’t listen to that tool.”
Sage nodded as he said that. It made me feel a little better. But then Spencer began to breathe with such labor that I knew he had little time left. Sage looked back at us over his shoulder and wiped his bloody hands off on his jeans. He walked over and knelt down beside him.
“We’ll get you there.”
Just then, all the guys showed up. The grave scene sobered them quickly as Sage took Spencer to his feet. He was so thin now it was probably like carrying a bare skeleton.
“He was followed,” Sage warned, ushering towards the woods.
Tom rushed off to hunt while Mika began cleaning up the pieces of Mannix and the guitar. Ash came with us to help with Spencer. We drove off into the night, led by headlights and heavy hearts for the grim task ahead.
31
The river wasn’t far, but I was so lost in thought watching the dark trees whizz by that we could’ve passed an entire state without me knowing. Spencer laid in the backseat wheezing, shuddering every now and then to let us know he wasn’t gone. Not yet. The words felt alien even in my mind. The moon was brighter than I wanted it to be. Too bright and all too happy to cast shadows on the ground. It was blinding. The road beneath us screamed of guilt and white noise. It was my fault we were here, doing this.
No one spoke.
I could tell Sage kept looking my way to check on me. I curled up in a ball against the car door, my head cradled by the thin strength of the seatbelt. My hair was trying to escape through the cracked window beside me. I wanted to fly outside with it, to escape. But even it was tethered to my terrible fate. I had all but run out of tears by the time Sage finally said something to me. His hand reached out and brushed my thigh.
“Hey, honeysuckle.”
The words were quiet and sweet, but I didn’t like the nickname anymore. Tears and snot blended into a sniveling cocktail on my face, and even though I was heartbroken for Spencer, I wasn’t ready to be comforted. I was barely able to believe it was happening at all. I shook my head and looked back at Spencer, whose eyes were closed.
“Why did Mannix say I did this?” I whispered, knowing it was the only volume I could control my voice in. Anything louder and I’d be blubbering.
“To hurt you, Talor. The Grigori did this,” Sage assured, his thumb rubbing lightly against my leg.
In the back, Spencer suddenly sputtered what had to be blood. It was a jarring sound, throwing us out of the conversation. Sage caught Ash’s somber gaze in the rearview. Spencer grunted and groaned, muttering about his head hurting. Ash tenderly held Spencer’s head up for him to breathe easier. It seemed to help – as much as it could help to delay the inevitable.
Spencer sounded like he was drowning in himself. I looked back as we passed under a bright lamppost along the road and saw the damage. As soon as I saw it, I wish I hadn’t. Ash’s forearms were covered in blood. Spencer himself was so saturated that his head kept slipping through Ash’s hands. Blood surged from his ears and nose. Ash’s usual self-composure dissolved as I started to sob, finally releasing the pain I was trying to keep caged.
“Sage, get her under control! He can’t take that right now. I’m barely holding him together as it is,” Ash bellowed, frustration and fear dominating his tone.
“Do something for him, Sage,” I cried.
“Our power has limits, Talor. We live in this world, too,” Sage said, trying to stay calm and drive ridiculously fast at the same time.
He knew Spencer didn’t have long. We all did. I was just the only one who was human enough in the moment to show it. I couldn’t grasp how Sage could fix everyone in the world except Spencer and me. Not only could he not save him, he couldn’t even ease his pain. He was supposed to be the siren. Wasn’t he the only one who could anything?
“What’s the point in having the power to heal if you can’t actually heal anything?”
Ash eyed me, but he was looking with pity this time. I think it was because he realized how young and naive I was about their world.
“Talor, it’s not that he won’t. He can’t,” Ash said.
I searched their faces. Sage stared straight ahead, and Spencer couldn’t muster the strength to form a facial expression at all. Right about then, Sage veered off into a field off the dirt road. It was bumpy and rough as the grass slapped against the tires. Small bushes scraped the side of the car as we rolled through. He brought us to the left corner of the field and turned off the car. He ran a hand over my hair before getting out.
As he came around to my side, I sat up a little in my seat and wiped my nose. Ash carried Spencer and I hurried along beside him, holding Spencer’s hand. When Spencer gave a warning kind of sound – the kind that elicits natural haste – Ash quickened pace and I had to let go.
“He’s fading. Hurry,” Ash urged, taking longer strides to move ahead.
My hand was slick with blood, and I stopped to watch him hurry off through the woods. It occurred to me to stay right t
here and wait until it was over. I didn’t want to see Spencer die. I couldn’t move. Luckily, Sage wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
“I’m here,” he said, squeezing me.
I only walked on because he stayed with me. We came to a clearing on the banks of the Flint. Ash had already laid Spencer on the ground beside the flowing water, and he was talking to him quietly. The noises of the river were calming. Spencer seemed to relax as his hand dipped in the river, the raspy, bloody gurgling quieting into a delicate sigh. It was the most incredible thing. It was all I wanted in the world right then – just for Spencer to feel no pain. I was never more grateful than in the few moments he laid quiet, his breathing soft and steady, and those eyes almost bright once again.
“You never sent me pictures of you in that bikini. I still think about that,” he said, his voice a little stronger.
I almost allowed myself to hope in his recovery. I believed he would be ok for the longest of seconds. I knelt down beside him. All I wanted to do was hug him, but he was a withering light and the slightest touch from me would put him out.
“I guess I should have played a little bit harder to get,” I said, smiling and crying at the same time.
His chapped, broken lips curled.
“Hey, Cotton Candy?”
“Yeah?”
There was a shimmer in his eyes that was fading, but it flickered for a moment.
“I caught you a little bit, didn’t I?”
“A little bit,” I confessed, tears blurring my vision.
Spencer was a faded autumn leaf, barely clinging to life through the wind, but he was still that bright-eyed, arrogant playboy I’d learned to call friend. I loved him in some way neither of us expected. Sage and Ash quietly moved away, giving us space. Truth is, I forgot they were even there.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, whimpering.
“It’s about time you apologized. My feet still hurt from being stepped on. But I wish I could’ve taken you all over the world, Cotton Candy,” he said through shallow breaths.
They were all he could really take. It was like his lungs were shriveling up.
“You literally say that to all the girls,” I said, laughing as I wiped away tears.
I kept trying to pretend I wasn’t bawling. I don’t know why. I guess I was afraid of the feelings. Afraid they were real. Afraid he was really dying because I had killed something that was supposed to be immortal. Afraid of what that meant. Spencer’s feeble hand reached up and brushed against the wild, wind-blown hair that escaped from my ponytail.
“We really were friends, weren’t we?”
“Yeah, we were.”
He was quiet for a moment.
“Still in the damn friend zone.”
I smiled back at him, but my lips were trembling and my tears were pooling in the cavernous cleft of what was once his muscular chest. I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to him, but I don’t think he expected me to.
“I’ve known centuries of women, but you’re the one I’m most glad I knew. Wish I could’ve known you better.”
With that, he gave a pained wink and I had to smile. Sage bent down beside me and clasped hands with him. Sage covered his knuckles with a soothing hand and they whispered to each other. Whatever language it was, Spencer seemed to understand. A faint smile found his lips one last time.
And then he was gone, and it felt like the there was no air left in the world.
Reverently, Sage and Ash took him up and together went waist deep into the dark waters. They released him and moved back as he began to glow and evo into a sea serpent – scales of an iridescent blue tinted by silver. It was the color of his eyes, their light.
We could still see him going under, the glow from his body like a lighthouse off in the distance. After that, he flickered out, and a mist rose from the water and kept rising until it was gone. It pushed the water back and splashed against us at the riverbank. The river was dark again and all of us stood silent.
I gasped and fell into Sage’s arms. He wrapped himself around me as I cried. All I could think was if I had just been strong and not let Spencer kiss me, he would still be alive. I laid there in Sage’s embrace with the weight of that on me. I had killed my friend.
“I mean…is that really it? Where did he go?”
“He’s gone,” Sage shushed.
“He can’t die. You’re immortal,” I sobbed, my voice breaking.
Sage’s arms tightened. He rested his head over mine.
“Everyone dies, Talor.”
I tried to push away.
“Don’t touch me. I’ll hurt you, too,” I cried, overcome with fear of my own body.
He held tight.
“Stop this. You can’t, Talor. You can’t hurt me.”
It was good to hear those words, but I knew better. I’d already put him in a coma once. Well, technically he did that, but still. I buried myself in his chest, weeping. I just wanted to wake up from a long dream. He felt so warm against me; it was like being wrapped in a blanket. When I finally was able to look at him again, I found a gaze mirroring my despair.
He leaned down and kissed me. His fingers wiped a few tears away – ones he could catch. His eyes circled my face, aching, wishing he could help me. I could see it. Ash stood silent nearby, waiting. When Sage glanced over at him, he started off towards the car to give us some privacy. I looked out towards the river, the quiet of it almost alarming. It was still like a pond instead of a river. I think Spencer had something to do with that.
“Come with me,” Sage pleaded.
“I don’t want to need you.”
He took my chin in his hand.
“But you do. I know. I need you, too.”
His voice broke slightly at the end. Honesty. Vulnerability. Need. I could relate to that. I decided to take his hand and follow him home. Ravaged by tears and the eternal darkness of death by my own hand, I could think of no good reason to suffer alone.
32
I stared at the sky through the wood blinds of the window, watching it get lighter as the minutes dragged on. Night eventually surrendered to day. During that time, I replayed every moment from the night before in my weary mind. My memory had to be wrong. Spencer couldn’t be gone. It was a joke. Some elaborate prank, just like the disappearing act at the Victorian Gala. But I wasn’t sure I could convince myself to believe that.
I knew only one thing for sure: I had to be dreaming. I wondered when I would wake up at Goodlife. Maybe I would get written up for falling asleep on the job. Spencer would harass me, Sage would watch, and I would do embarrassing things in the name of lust. I was lost in some lucid daydream for a long time, fading in and out of reality and memories. I didn’t know how I had any tears left, but the remainder rolled down onto Sage’s pillow.
I was lying in his bed, but he wasn’t in the room. He got up and hadn’t come back yet. I smothered myself against the pillow, crying so hard that my body heaved. I felt a hand touch down on my shoulder, but I didn’t bring my head up.
“Some water?” he asked, his thumb rubbing against my exposed skin. For the first time, his touch felt like sandpaper. My nerves were so raw and close to the surface even the air felt like too much.
I kept my face covered, but I brought the pillow away for him to hear me.
“Make this a dream. Make it – make it stop being real. Tell me it’s not real. Tell me. I’ll believe you, I promise.”
He sat closer, taking me by the shoulder and turning me over.
“I wish I could.”
I brought the blanket up to my head and curled up.
“I’ll never be okay again, will I?”
“Here – drink this,” he said, offering a cup of water.
I took it and drank, not realizing until then how thirsty I was. When I was done, he took it away and lay down beside me. I could tell he had been crying, too. His eyes were swollen.
It hadn’t occurred to me that
Sage had just lost someone, too. Someone he’d known way longer than anyone I ever knew. I imagined what that must be like – to know a person for centuries and lose them. I would never understand his pain, but here I was wallowing like I was the only one hurting. I reached for his hand and took it.
“I’m sorry, Sage. I know you lost him, too.”
I scooted a little closer to him and pulled his hand up between our chests.
“It never gets easier,” he said.
I stared at his lips.
“What happens to your kind when you die?”
“Talor, this isn’t the time.”
“What happens, Sage?”
He sucked in a strained, heavy breath as he rubbed my fingers.
“Well, we have to be killed twice, but once we’re dead, there’s no heaven or hell. There’s not even a grave. We’re just gone.”
“So…Spencer?”
“Yeah, he’s gone. Only the Grigori have the power to split us like that.”
Maybe he told me that to make me feel better or to help me forget. But I didn’t. Now I just knew that Spencer didn’t exist anywhere. It was like he never existed at all, and I’d been the catalyst to that.
“If only I hadn’t kissed him that night.”
“No, don’t do that to yourself. The Grigori would have discovered the truth about him sooner or later.”
“What truth?”
“That he was part of the Dissent. He played both sides. Has for centuries. It was dangerous, what he did. But no one was better at it.”
As Sage’s kind words about him sunk in, it seemed I found out all too late how wrong I had been about Spencer. He was good. I just never knew that side of him.
“So it’s their fault…and my fault?”
“No, it’s not your fault at all. Spencer knew what he was doing. He just didn’t care. He was always going to do what he wanted. Always. No matter the cost. And Rami, he –”
“Wait, Spencer knew about this seal? How could he see it and Ash and the others couldn’t? When did he know?” I asked, knitting my brow.
“He couldn’t see it. No one can unless the legend stamp exposes it, like at the show. If he…when he tried to seal you for himself, he probably only knew then.”