I nodded, knowing what she meant, relieved that my happiness was all that she could see.
Ms. Gerti paused for a moment, and then looked at me as she squeezed my hand. “I’m happy for you both.”
“Thank you, Ms. Gerti. He’s happy, too,” I said, careful not to say too much. Brenda was sleeping upstairs and I didn’t want to be completely disrespectful.
“These days I only see Ed in the mornings, but I’ve noticed a peaceful look about him. I’ve never seen him this happy in all the years I’ve been with this family, and I know you’re to thank for that.”
Her words encouraged me, but I also felt a modicum of shame. I was now an official home wrecker. I lowered my head. “I’m sorry that people will get hurt at the expense of my happiness.” I looked away from her and kept my voice low. “But I don’t want to give him up. I love him.”
This time when Ms. Gerti spoke she kept her voice low, too. “Emily, people get what’s coming to them in life. Happiness is what you deserve and you’re finally getting it. But others,” she paused, looking up to the ceiling, toward Brenda’s bedroom above, “they get what they deserve, too, and sometimes it ain’t all that happy. But that’s not your cross to bear. You’re a good person, so don’t beat yourself up and don’t let nothing steal your joy, you hear me?”
I rose from my chair and hugged Ms. Gerti with all my might. Even though I knew the road ahead was going to be difficult, as Ms. Marabelle had predicted, Ms. Gerti’s words gave me the strength to face anything that was coming my way.
CJ and I stood in front of the baggage claim carousel at the airport, waiting for Samantha. He was telling me about the new dog he wanted Ed to get him for Christmas, which I couldn’t believe was just a month and a half away. I’d just pulled out a stick of sugar-free gum for him when I spotted Samantha. “Here comes your mother.” I smiled, excited to see my friend.
But my smile quickly dropped when I saw the visible disturbance on Samantha’s face. She was practically stomping as she walked toward us. The scowl around her mouth was deep, and her body language screamed of discomfort. She looked as if someone had just cleaned out her bank account. I took a deep breath because a second later I realized why she was all out of sorts. Brenda was trailing close on her heels!
“Heeeyyyy!” CJ grinned as he ran up to Samantha and her mother, giving both of them big hugs.
I was unable to move my feet. My entire body tensed. How could this be? I thought Brenda had been upstairs in her bedroom, lying in a dead sleep when CJ and I left. Then again, Ms. Gerti never said that Brenda was upstairs. I had just assumed that because I hadn’t seen her, she must’ve been in her room as Ed had said she’d be.
Samantha walked up to me and wrapped my body in a stilted hug. “Look whose flight landed at the same time as mine,” she said into my ear, rolling her eyes toward her mother, who was standing behind her.
“Hello, Emily dear.” Brenda smiled. She glided past Samantha, reached for me, and gave me two air-kisses without ever embracing me. This was one time that I was thankful for Brenda’s reserve toward human contact. “How have you been?” she asked. “I haven’t seen you in ages, since the party.”
Samantha shot her a nasty look. “I’m headed over there to wait for my bags,” she said, taking CJ by the hand as she walked away. My heart dropped. I was left standing alone beside the woman whose husband I had just made love to up against my kitchen sink before leaving my house two hours ago. I was about to crumble when Samantha turned in midstride and asked, “Emily, you comin’?”
“Excuse me, Brenda.” I took off like I was being chased, glad to get away from her.
“It’s just my shitty luck for that heifer to rain on my parade,” Samantha ranted, glaring over in her mother’s direction.
I pulled out CJ’s video game from my overstuffed bag and handed it to him. “Sweet Pea, why don’t you sit over there and play with your game, where your mommy and I can see you,” I said, pointing to the set of metal chairs over to the side. He gladly took the game and was soon drawn into another world. I turned to Samantha. “I know you’re upset, but, Samantha, you’ve got to start watching what you say around CJ.”
“You’re right, but you don’t understand how she can kill a person’s joy. I was happy as hell until I stepped off the plane and saw her walking my way,” Samantha huffed. “She always takes the first flight out when she travels. But noooo, she just had to bring her ass home this afternoon. She claims that her business meetings had her so stressed out that she was too tired to make it to the airport in time for her flight. Hell, I think she flew in late just so she could funk up my groove and spoil my good news.”
I shook my head. “I’ve discovered that your mother is capable of many things, but I doubt she switched flights just so she could run into you.” In truth, Brenda was probably as perturbed about seeing Samantha as Samantha was about seeing her.
“Girl, like I’ve always told you, you don’t know her like I do. She can ruin a wet dream.”
“Well, anyway, tell me the good news she spoiled.”
Samantha looked over to where Brenda was waiting for her bags at a separate carousel, making sure she wasn’t watching us. She reached into her large designer handbag, retrieved a small box, and pulled out a beautiful engagement ring. “Tyler asked me to marry him!” she said in a low, jubilant squeal.
“Oh, Samantha! It’s beautiful!” I said as I hugged her. “Why aren’t you wearing this gorgeous rock on your finger?”
“I don’t want Mother to know about my engagement just yet, so I pulled it off as soon as I saw her walking my way.”
It was sad that she didn’t want to share this monumental step with her mother, but I understood. “Girl, you know I’m so happy for you and Tyler. God is good!”
Samantha and I talked while we waited for her bags. She told me that Tyler’s best friend, Victoria Thornton, had asked about me, and that she’d met Victoria’s family. “Alexandria is so beautiful to be so young,” she said, and then paused, “but she says the strangest things.”
“I know,” I agreed, feeling a cold sensation creep up on my arms. Just as I was about to ask her what Alexandria had said, Brenda walked up to us, pulling her large roller bag behind her.
“Looks like you two are in deep conversation,” Brenda said.
Samantha looked as though she had an ugly comment on the tip of her tongue, but she held it.Thankfully, her bag came around just in time. After she gathered her things and we collected CJ from his chair, we all walked outside the terminal in silence.
“Emily, dear,” Brenda said, turning her back to Samantha as she spoke to me. “Do you mind if I ride back with you?”
Samantha’s eyes widened. “Mother, Emily’s car is small and—”
“I’ve seen Emily’s car, and it will accommodate all of us just fine.” Brenda smiled, looking at me.
For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why Brenda wanted to ride home with us, especially considering the fashion in which she’d be traveling. Hazel was no match for the kind of luxury to which she was accustomed. Lord knows I didn’t want to drive my lover’s wife home, but I couldn’t think of a way to tell her no.
After we put all the luggage into my trunk, we were off. I briefly looked at Brenda in my rearview mirror and saw a look on her face that resembled the expression one would have if inhaling an unpleasant odor. Even though it was a cool fifty degrees outside, it felt like an inferno to me. As I drove toward the airport exit, Brenda sat in the backseat, unusually chatty. For our own separate reasons, Samantha and I rode in silence. CJ was so into his video game that he was completely unaware that at any moment, something hostile could erupt.
“Emily, how have things been going?” Brenda asked.
I cleared my throat. “Um, pretty well.”
“That’s wonderful, dear. Are you dating anyone? You know this city is teeming with eligible young bachelors.”
I looked straight ahead as I drove, keeping my guilt-ridden e
yes on the road. Samantha put her hand on my shoulder. “It’s all right.”
“Oh, did I touch upon a sensitive subject?” Brenda asked, almost with a strange delight.
Samantha turned around and faced her mother. “Yes, you obviously touched upon a sensitive subject. Why don’t you just sit back there and ride.”
Brenda furrowed her brow and was about to say something in response when I turned up the volume on my stereo. An uncomfortable thirty minutes later we were at Brenda’s front door. I pulled the lever beside my seat to open the trunk.
“Well, whatever’s going on in your life, if you ever need to talk you know you can always come to me,” Brenda smiled, reaching for her bags. “My marriage hasn’t always been perfect, but it’s strong and lasting.”
I looked down at my feet. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Ed and I have had our ups and downs, but we always manage to get through them. Time, patience, and having a good plan. Those are the keys to a successful relationship, my dear.”
I continued to look down at my feet, then toward the house. “I better get going.”
“Thank you for the ride.” She smiled. “And dear, you might want to get an upgrade soon.” She frowned, looking at Hazel.
I watched Brenda as she strode to her front door, and I thought about what she’d just said about her and Ed. I wondered who she was trying to fool, me or herself.
Chapter 36
Samantha . . .
My Mouth Dropped Open
As Gerti would say, I was fit to be tied! Mother had hijacked my happiness once again. When I saw her walking toward me with that fake smile of hers, all the joy I’d felt over the past three days instantly vanished. Instead of greeting me with, “Hi, Samantha, good running into you here. How was your trip?” she looked up at the arrival board, noting that I had just come in from Atlanta, and said, “I take it that you and Tyler haven’t broken up yet.”
I had planned to tell her about our engagement after I told everyone else who truly mattered in my life, but now I was just going to let her find out through the grapevine. I’d hoped that one day Mother and I would be able to form some semblance of a relationship, but now I realized that was damn near impossible. At this point I had to stay away from her. I couldn’t allow her negative energy to impede my progress as a mother or my happiness as a woman on a mission of growth.
Since I was a little girl I’d always wondered why Mother was so hateful and coldhearted, selfish and manipulative. And why she had never shown me motherly affection, or even told me that she loved me. But ever since my birthday party, I’d come to realize that she was a damaged person who had deep-rooted issues that had nothing to do with me, but everything to do with who she was inside. Gerti once told me, “Sam, there are some people who walk this earth with a rotten spirit through and through.” Mother was one of them.
I used to promise myself that when I grew up I wouldn’t be anything like my mother, but in some ways I failed because I was almost as bad a parent to my child as she’d been to me. Almost. But I was working to turn that around.
We had just dropped Mother off, and I didn’t know who was happier to get her out of the car, Emily or me. She’d hit a nerve by pressing Emily about her love life, as if she really cared. I saw the look in Emily’s eyes, almost like she was horrified. I knew that breaking up with Bradley really hurt her because not only had he played with her emotions, he’d dumped her and had already moved on. But I got him good, and I was going to let my friend know. Maybe that would give her a little vindication. “Emily,” I said, “about Bradley . . .”
“I don’t want to talk about him.”
“But . . .”
Emily took her eyes off the road for a split second so she could look at me. “I really don’t want to talk about Bradley or the situation between us.” She sighed, turning her focus back to the road. “What we had ended long ago. Can we just drop it, please?”
She sounded tired, and a pained look flashed through her eyes. She’d probably been lying in bed, crying into her pillow all weekend and didn’t want any reminders of the man who’d broken her heart. Emily and I had been through a lot of heartaches together, most of them mine, so I could relate to what she felt, and I let it go.
After we unloaded my luggage we headed for Chuck E. Cheese. Emily and I laughed and played games with CJ. It was clear that he didn’t feel the natural bond or comfort toward me that he did for Emily, but I was okay with that because I understood. As I watched them interact, I saw the concern in Emily’s eyes, the caring tone in her voice, and the sincere love on her face that she had for my son. I prayed that one day I’d be as good with him as she was.
By the time we dropped CJ off at my parents’ house it was nearing his bedtime, and he was worn out. I stood at the bottom of the staircase and kissed him good night. “I’ll see you in the morning when I come to pick you up for school,” I told him as Gerti and Emily stood nearby.
CJ smiled at me. “I like it when you take me to school in the morning.”
“You do?” I asked with surprise.
“Yeah, you’re fun and we listen to good music!”
My heart swelled. Upon the suggestion of my parenting skills group leader, I had purchased a CD by the Mosiac Project, which teaches young children how to express empathy, resolve conflict, and embrace diversity while they sing along to music. I was so overjoyed that I was finally doing something good and something right for my child.
On our ride back to my place, Emily smiled at me. “Samantha, I’m so proud of you.”
Her words warmed me. “Thanks, but I have a long way to go.”
We parked in front of my condo with the engine running. “You don’t have as long as you think.The natural mother in you is coming out.You just have to embrace it.”
“You think?”
“I know.”
“Thanks, Emily, but I’m not a natural at it like you. You’re so good with kids.”
“I better be, I work with the little rugrats every day.” She laughed.
“You’re going to make a great mother some day,” I said. I didn’t know if it was because of the fun we had today or because of the heartfelt emotion she experienced at seeing CJ and me together, but Emily had a special glow that I hadn’t noticed before, and the more I stared the more she seemed to practically beam.
“Why are you looking at me with that weird expression?” she asked.
“You have a glow that’s almost . . . radiant.”
Emily blushed. “Maybe it’s my new moisturizer.”
“Girl, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you had that pregnancy glow.”
Emily coughed and braced herself against her steering wheel.
“You okay?”
“Uh, yeah, my throat’s a little dry, that’s all.” She coughed again. “Well, I guess I better go home so I can prepare for class tomorrow.”
We hugged good night, and I headed upstairs. After unpacking my bags and taking a nice long shower, I settled into bed and called Tyler.We talked until my eyes started to feel heavy. After I hung up, I nestled my head into my fluffy pillow and thought about my day. Notwithstanding my mother, it had been one of the best days I’d had in a very long time. I started it off by making love to my new fiancé, then spent time with my son and my best friend, and now I was lying in my comfortable bed, feeling happy. But then I thought about Emily and remembered my promise to myself. I was going to help her find a good man to go along with her amazing glow.
A week later, I sat at the computer in my home office, reviewing my sales chart analysis when my cell phone rang. I looked at the number and frowned. It was Bradley. I couldn’t imagine what that low-down snake in the grass wanted. At first I was going to ignore his call, but the fact that he had the balls to even dial my number made me pick up—purely for the purpose of giving him the rest of the tongue-lashing I’d held back on at the restaurant. I was changing, but there were some situations that required me to bring the thunder, and w
hen you messed with someone I loved, it was on! “Speak, asshole,” I said into the phone.
“Whoa, Samantha,” Bradley said in his crisp and proper diction. “Why are you so hostile toward me, and what did I do to deserve the way you talked to me last weekend?”
“Is that why you’re calling me?”
“Of course that’s why I’m calling you. I’m a man of honor, and I want to clear the air and find out what made you say the things you did. I didn’t deserve that.”
I had to give it to homeboy, he was good. He actually sounded as hurt and sincere as he did at the restaurant that night. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I shot back.
“No, I’m not. I don’t know what I did to cause your reaction, but I want you to know that you ruined my date. The young woman I was with won’t even return my phone calls.”
“Good, maybe that’ll teach you not to fuck with people’s feelings.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. And as a side note, I could do without the vulgarity.”
I pictured Bradley sitting behind his desk in his perfectly starched shirt and conservative tie, looking indignant. “You should be ashamed of yourself.The way you took advantage of Emily was just downright—”
“Took advantage of her? What are you talking about?”
“You know what the hell I’m talking about. First you give her a fourteen-thousand-dollar bracelet, then you break up with her and start screwing someone else.”
“Samantha, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I didn’t give Emily a fourteen-thousand-dollar bracelet!”
“Don’t lie, Bradley. I saw the bracelet with my own eyes, and the birthday card you gave her.”
“I sent Emily an e-card to wish her happy birthday, but that was it. I haven’t even spoken to her since I flew up there to DC to help her move in, upon your encouragement, I might add.”
“Why would she say that you gave her that gift if you didn’t? She was even crying her eyes out over you last weekend.”
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