by S Lawrence
I’d like to argue his description but it really was accurate.
The doorbell rings, interrupting any response I might have made. Arkyn stands before I can and crosses, opening and holding the door as the attendant pushes the cart into the room. He stops the young man before he can go far and hands him a twenty before practically shoving him out the door.
Thankfully, all the staff in the hotel are used to weird behavior from tourists. Not to mention, I’m generous enough they would never gossip or complain about anything that happens in this suite.
“You could have let him bring it to the table.” He shrugs and pushes it around to the coffee table instead of the dining table.
“I want to finish my show.” How many ways does he need to see a wall painted in one day?
He starts setting the dishes out on the glass table but when he comes to the soup, he glances up at me.
“I got it.” He holds it, a spoon, and a napkin out to me. Taking it, I sigh as I stand and face the hall.
“Jesus, Dagen. She’s just a tiny woman. I’ve seen you face all manner of vicious beast; surely you can handle her.”
I look over at him, ready to make a smart ass remark but instead find myself telling him the truth. “They could destroy my soul.”
He has no reply for that. He will see. These destined souls and the power they have are terrifying.
I force my feet to start down the hall and don’t let them stop at the door. Opening it, I open my mouth to tell her I have food when I freeze. So does she, back to me, tiny boy shorts just pulled up, water still running down her bare back, dripping from her wet hair. She looks back over her shoulder at me, grey eyes wide. They are no longer stormy; instead they seem silver, liquid, molten even.
“Sorry… Soup.” I thrust my hand out and some of the liquid splashes over the side. The corner of her lips curve up just before she bends at the waist to pick up a t-shirt that was lying on the floor at her feet. She straightens, pulling it over her head as she does. It clings to her wet skin.
“I had to get the dirt off.” I swallow as she turns.
There low across her stomach are pale watercolor splashes with musical notes dancing through them. I can’t stop looking at them or the way her stomach flexes. Finally I drag my eyes up to her face, forcing them quickly past her small but flawless breasts.
“It’s the song I always heard. The warning.” Her voice is defensive.
“It’s beautiful.” I like that she smiles at my words. “I should have knocked. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s your room.” Finally, I move and set the bowl down on the side table.
“I’ll leave you to finish, then.” I start to back out.
“If you want.” I don’t.
“I probably should.” She nods and drops of water fall from the ends of her hair, darkening the pale blue of the tiny t-shirt. Jesus, does she not own any clothes the right size?
I take a few more steps but her voice stops me in the door. “How does this whole thing work? How do we know?”
I’ve been dreading this question. “Luc says it’s your choice.” She blinks at me.
“Like I just pick one out of the litter, huh?” She sounds pissed. “You have no say?”
“I know what I want.” God, do I know what I want.
“Then tell me.” She sits on the bed and then looks up at me. “Please, Dagen. This seems so crazy. So fast. But it also seems like the most real thing I’ve ever known.”
“I want you to be mine.” There it’s out there. “I want you to choose me.” She opens her mouth, but I hold up my hand. I should tell her everything then let her decide. “I think you are beautiful like this or like that night I first saw you all woman. Fierce and feminine. Sexy as hell. I also wanted you like the night I saw you at the club singing as Sin. Just as sexy.”
I wait as she watches me. My heart is pounding. Sweat rolling down my back and my fists are clenching and unclenching.
“So.” She pauses, drawing her bottom lip in between her teeth and chewing it for a moment. “You like men and women.” I swallow. Hard. “Would I be enough?”
She deserves the truth. “If you’re adventurous enough.”
Chapter 19
CHARLIE
This man has the power to destroy me. Completely. Heart and soul.
He turns and leaves after dropping that bomb. All kinds of images are racing around my brain and my body is on fire.
I keep picturing me dressed as Sin with him; it is erotic. I’ve never been with a man dressed as my alter ego. Never had the urge to but now.
“Eat the soup, Charlie.” I jump as he yells at me from down the hall. I feel my face grow red. Instead of doing what he says, I grab some shorts and pull them on.
Picking up the bowl and spoon, I decide to join him so I cross to the door and open it, pausing when I hear another voice.
You’ve made your choice. These demons are going to be your friends at least, so it’s time to get to know them.
I don’t make friends easily. Never have. Probably never will. I’ve spent too much time separating myself, but maybe it’s time to change. Time to let people - I use that term loosely- in.
Saying it and doing it are two completely different things. Obviously. Or my feet would be moving.
Time to get out of your hiding spot, Thea.
My mom’s voice whispers through my head and my heart pounds. I haven’t heard her voice that clearly in years.
I hid you to keep you safe, and now there’s someone else to do that.
I might be losing my mind but I have to listen to my mom. Slowly, I start down the hall. They both stop, forks midway to mouths as I enter the room. Smiling, I walk over and do the only thing I can - climb up onto the couch and step behind Dagen so I can sit between them.
Arkyn starts eating again first after nodding at me. Dagen lowers his fork and watches me as I get settled. I finally dip the spoon in the soup and bring it to my lips and grimace. Ice cold. I force it down. He holds his hand out and I pass it over. Standing, he makes his way over to the kitchenette and opens the microwave, placing the bowl inside. He then punches a button with a finger tip before leaning back against the counter to wait. I look over at Arkyn, my spoon still in my mouth as he chews on his steak.
Glancing at the T.V., I see some home improvement show and grin as I drag the spoon out.
“I like the one set up in Michigan with that blonde. I like how she keeps everything she can from the old houses.”
He swallows hard. “I like her. This is my favorite aesthetically.” He points with his fork.
I glance up as Dagen leans over me with the bowl. He’s wrapped it in a towel, and I smile at him as my fingers brush over his as I take it from him. He smiles back.
“I do like the brothers too. Did you see the ones they did in New Orleans?” Arkyn draws my attention again.
My smile grows when I feel Dagen’s lips press against the top of my head. “Umm, I did. I loved the jewel-toned colors and the shotgun style homes of New Orleans. I’ve never been because the music was always too loud.”
He frowns? “What now?”
“She hears a song when the Fallen are near, Arkyn,” Dagen grumbles.
“Always have.” I shrug. “Like an early warning system. Didn’t know it until I met him.” I jerk my spoon at Dagen. “But I also hear songs for each of you.” I nod as I scoop up another spoon and bring it carefully to my mouth, making sure the noodles hanging over the edges don’t fall before it reaches my lips.
He stops chewing, lays his fork down, and swivels his body toward me. I wait, chewing the noodles until they are basically liquid. He breaks first.
“What does mine sound like?” I’m actually surprised none of the others have asked the very same question.
Smiling, I swallow letting my eyes fall closed and listen, focusing on just his. It’s harder than I want to admit to ignore Dagen’s music. The smokey notes call to me.
Focus, Charlie.
Arkyn. Drums. My body sways, picking up the beat and just under the heavy beat is the tinkle of bells. I reach my hand out and lay it on his thigh using my thumb to tap out the beat. The whisper of bells I recreate with my breath, repeating the rhythm over and over.
Finally, I let it fade away and open my eyes, feeling slightly embarrassed. I’m not prepared for what I see on his face. Sadness.
“Oh my God, Arkyn, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean…” I trail off, unsure of what to say.
“No. Charlie. Don’t be sorry. Never sorry. It’s beautiful.” He stands and walks over to the balcony doors, opening them and continuing out.
I stare out after him before turning to look at Dagen. “I… It was what I heard.” I shake my head.
I’m such an idiot. Dagen moves to my side and, after a moment of hesitation, places his arm around my shoulder pulling me to his side. I’m stiff at first then relax.
“They were his charges. The First peoples. His duty was to protect them, but he was murdered the day the war began.” My mouth forms a perfect circle.
I know my history. They had not been protected. In fact, most had almost been destroyed.
“I didn’t know.” He shakes his head.
“Of course you didn’t, moll.” Moll? My confusion must have shown. “Was a pet name a long time ago.”
“Oh.” I nod before looking back out at Arkyn.
“He feels like he failed. Like he still is.” Dagen sighs and I roll my head back, turning my face up to his, locking my eyes on his. “I guess most of us do when it comes to our charges from before.”
His eyes are filled with anger while his voice is filled with sadness. It breaks my heart. My hand drifts up slowly. I can tell he is a little lost in his memories. Unfocused, his eyes aren’t their normal chocolate; instead they are like umber and in place of the normal warmth, they are flat. Touching his cheek softly, I let my palm rest there until he comes back to now.
“Sorry,” he murmurs.
“It’s alright.” He leans into my hand. “So warm.”
“You’re just cold,” I whisper as I stretch up to his lips. I pause just before touching them, letting his cool breath blow over mine.
He waits. One, two, three beats of my heart then he’s pressing into me while pulling me to him. I offer no resistance. Instead, I rise up, lifting my leg, shifting it so that I straddle him. He growls as I mold myself to him.
I let the molten heat of my core press against the cool length of him. So many ideas.
He deepens the kiss, and I’m surprised by the coolness of his tongue. I’m caught so off guard that I can’t focus. All I can think is everything is cold. Everything.
I’ve read about using ice cubes during sex. I’ve had partners blow cool air over my girl bits but now all I can think of is he is cold. All over. His dick is cold.
“Is something wrong, moll?” He murmurs against my lips.
“Hmm.” I frown at the loss of kiss. “What?”
“I think I lost you.” He pulls his head completely back and studies me. I blink.
Shit. I feel my face and my chest getting hotter. I cannot tell him what I was thinking.
“She was probably thinking about your dick being a popsicle. Or a dicksicle, if you will.” I jump at the closeness of Arkyn’s voice.
He grins at me as I fling myself off Dagen’s lap and back onto the couch.
“That is what you were thinking, wasn’t it?” His laugh is deep and booming as his head falls back on the couch cushion. “Honestly, I’ve always wondered myself.” His words are strangled when he can finally choke them out.
“What the fuck, man! Why are you thinking about my dick, ever?” Dagen frowns but his eyes are on me.
I try to give nothing away but I know it’s too late to hide my reaction. Dagen’s hand closes over mine and he squeezes.
“Charlie?” Arkyn’s voice is low. I look over at him, confused at the tone of it. I don’t know him but I can sense a difference in it. “Thank you for the song.” I nod once. “I…” He swallows hard. “It just caught me off guard.”
“I didn’t know.” I look him in the eye. “How amazing to be so completely linked to something.”
He looks surprised at my observation. It seems clear to me.
“Don’t you think? You must be. To have their music playing through your very soul, it is a part of you, a part of who you are. Just like how when you are all together, your songs all blend together, making a symphony.”
Both he and Dagen seem shocked by the last. I decide to shock them a bit more. “Lucifer’s music is what weaves them all together; it is the melody that bridges each of your songs.”
Again, they just stare at me. “I don’t know for sure. Obviously.” I swallow. “I imagine, believe, that the songs are part of you, have been since you were created. They are part of who you are. Even the Fallen’s song is the same, part of them. Theirs is the same but just a note or two different for each of them.” Their eyes widen at this information. “I think He knew.”
Arkyn’s mouth drops open and Dagen just freezes. “My Father knew?”
All of us whip around at Luc’s voice from the door. “Shit.” The word is drawn out into about twenty syllables as I say it. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”
I can’t seem to stop hurting people today and I hurt him for certain. Shooting to my feet, I jump over Dagen’s legs and sprint over to him. Grabbing his arm, I try to stop him as he tries to turn right back out the door. His eyes turn down and lock on my fingers latched around his extremely well defined forearm.
I refuse to let go. Those eyes travel back up to my face, and the look in them is one that I’m sure has caused people and demons to wither. “Wait. Please. Let me explain what I meant.”
He grinds his teeth, his jaw flexing, but eventually, he nods. I lead him to the couch and stand at his side until he sits. The others watch in silence, a look of disbelief stamped on their ancient faces.
I sit at his side, still holding on to him and slowly slide my hand down his arm to take his hand in mine.
“What I meant was, I think He knew the potential for things to happen. He knew the true nature of every being’s soul. Where it was dark or light. I don’t think He knew exact things that would or could happen. But I do believe…” I take my other hand and draw his face toward mine, so I can look directly in his eyes. “I think He knew the future would depend on His favorite. He gave us, humans, a chance at Heaven through His son but He sacrificed His favorite for the world. His son He got back at his side, He lost him for only a short while. But, you... You He gave up forever.”
It breaks my heart, the look of complete denial that blooms over his face.
“He left us all to this mess. A mess He created,” he grits out, his jaw locked tightly closed. “He makes a toy and when He grows tired of it, He throws it away, Thea. He threw us all away.”
“He gave us you,” I whisper as I lean forward and wrap my arms around him, hugging him tight. “You to keep us safe. You to be our savior.”
His head shakes in denial. “I’m no savior, Charlie. Get that right out of your head right now,” he murmurs against my ear.
“Your song says different.”
Chapter 20
DAGEN
Fuck. She dropped a bomb like Hiroshima. That shit just leveled him.
Luc has been standing at the balcony rail for hours. The others arrived long ago. Arkyn called them not too long after our fearless leader finally moved from the couch.
It had taken him a while to recover from her words. I don’t know that he has yet. I know I haven’t for certain. Not any of them. Not our part or his.
A part of me wants to cheer because surely it means our victory. But the other ninety percent is really fucking pissed because it means He saw all the destruction also. It’s the problem even the humans that question an all powerful, all knowing God have - if He is and does, why does He let all the awful things happen?
Why do babies die? Why is there murder
and rape and every other kind of atrocity that happens? Why doesn’t He stop it all? The answer is I don’t know. Maybe He can’t. Maybe He can see it but can’t change it. Maybe He isn’t all powerful.
I’ve heard stories of beings not created by Him. Beings that came from somewhere else. Maybe they are like Him. I look over at Charlie, who is watching Luc. She hasn’t moved an inch.
I move to her side. “Charlie.” I wait a moment. “Charlie.” Reaching out, I touch her cheek, and she turns her face slowly toward me. A smile curves her lips.
“Hi.” I smile back.
“Hi.” Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I pull her against me and feel her relax instantly. “Did that woman tell you who gave them shelter at Avalon?”
The smile turns into a frown instantly. “No. Why?”
“I was just thinking about something and remembered what you had said.” I don’t elaborate. I need to talk to Evander. I would talk to Luc but I don’t think he can take another revelation today.
It’s late and she yawns, her face pressed against my chest in an attempt to hide it from everyone else.
“You can go lie down.” I draw in the scent of my own shampoo on her hair.
“I know.” I hear a ‘but’ at the end of her words, although she doesn’t say it out loud.
Luc strides in and stops in front of us. She looks up, holding her breath. “I thank you for the information, even if I’m not sure I agree with your assessment.” Wow, very formal. “I’m going to go take care of some things. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
He attempts a smile but it truly sucks, and I can feel her slump slightly. He’s hurt her, making her think she’s hurt him. He doesn’t even give us a chance to respond, just disappears. She doesn’t say a word, just looks down at her hands clutched together in her lap.
Quietly, the others all motion at me and then silently file out leaving us alone. I’m both grateful and panicked. I have no idea how to make her feel better. Maybe I should call Lillian or Cherry. I glance down at my phone on the table. Shit.