by Lori Ryan
“Me, too,” he said.
“You, too,” she agreed. “I’m sure you’d like to run away sometimes.”
He laughed. “All the time.”
“That’s Becca, too. Only this time it was physical. She ran away from you, but I have a strong feeling she wanted to be found. By you.”
“She’s really sneaky.”
“She is.” Lina laughed. “Most five-year olds are. But that’s not the most important thing to remember.”
“What is?”
“For Becca, she needs to know and trust that you will come after her. That needs to be part of her new normal.”
“Of course, I will. I always will.”
Lina’s smile spread even wider. “May I ask you something?”
He wanted to say yes but this woman was like an enchantress, so knowledgeable and yet so bewildering. “Okay,” he said.
She moved to rise. “Never mind.” She shook her head. “Italian mouth. Sorry.”
He grabbed her wrist and brought her back down. “No, really. Ask.”
She paused for a moment, staring at him as if to gauge his sincerity. “How is it that you just found out Becca was your daughter after five years?”
“You’d have to ask her mother that,” he said quietly.
They sat together in silence and Jake wondered what she was thinking.
“She never told you she was pregnant?” She asked.
“Nope.”
“Were you in a relationship?”
“It was a one-night stand. To be honest, I don’t remember Jenni all that well. I probably couldn’t have picked her out of a crowd until I saw Becca. I know that sounds horrible.”
“She looks a lot like you.”
He nodded. “She does, but there’s a lot of Jenni in there, too.”
“Do you know for certain you’re her father?”
He stared at her dark eyes, so inquisitive as she looked at him.
“You should be a reporter,” he said, only a hint of accusation in the statement.
She laughed. “I’m sorry, again—”
“Italian mouth,” they said in unison.
“To answer your question,” he said, “no, I’m not one hundred percent certain. Jenni didn’t list a father on Becca’s birth certificate so we’re doing DNA testing.” He shrugged. “I don’t really need it to tell me I’m her dad, but I do want to make sure no one can take her away from me now that I’ve found her.”
“One more question?” she asked.
“Why not, Oprah.”
She laughed and he noted it was a deep, throaty laugh that had him squirming in his seat.
“What if she’s not your daughter?”
Jake’s head fell back and he stared up at the sky. He’d thought about the same thing a thousand times already. Sure, they looked a lot alike but without the test he’d never truly know for sure.
“That was rude and insensitive,” she said moving beyond his reach. “I really do apologize. I should go.” She turned and walked toward the lodge but stopped suddenly.
“Hey!” Becca called out, flying down the path toward them, a cookie in each hand. Her long dark hair floated behind her like a mop of silk, her smile so wide it moved something in his chest. “Auntie Sally said these ones are for you.” She smiled back and forth at him and Lina, eyes wide, cheeks flushed from her run.
Jake couldn’t help but grin. She was truly special, precious to him already.
“This one is for youuuu,” she drew out the last word, handing Lina a cookie.
“Thank you.” Lina bent down and took the cookie, taking a bite and moaning.
Good Lord, was it just him or was it getting hotter out here?
“And this one is for youuuu,” she echoed, lifting the other cookie toward Jake.
He took it and bit into the cookie like Lina had, letting out an exaggerated moan as well. “It’s sooooo good,” he said.
Becca giggled, covering her mouth.
“Thank you.” He smiled at his daughter. Daughter.
“It’s good, right?” Becca asked, nodding her head.
“Yes, very good,” he agreed. “My Aunt Sally makes the best cookies in the world.”
“How do you know?” Becca asked.
“How do I know what?”
“That her cookies are the best in the whole wide world.” Her question wasn’t sarcastic, but genuine. She was truly bewildered. “Have you tried every cookie in the whole wide world?”
Jake glanced over at Lina who was smiling.
“She’s got a good point,” she said. “Have you tried every cookie in the whole wide world?”
He turned and looked down at Becca.
Holding his cookie with one hand, he knelt down and scooped her up in his arms. “No, I haven’t been all around the world but I would place all the money in our swear jar that Aunt Sally’s cookies are the best.”
“That’s a lot of money,” Becca said.
He thought back to the jar on his mother’s kitchen counter. He hadn’t said that many curse words, and his mother never swore.
“Aunt Sally had to pay me,” she paused counting on her fingers, “eight dollars today.”
Jake and Lina burst into laughter. “New normal?” he asked staring at Lina.
“You’ll find your way, Jake,” Lina said. “I have no doubt.”
He was glad at least one person in this world was sure he could figure out this mess he was in because he sure as hell wasn’t. Thankfully Becca didn’t charge him for cursing in his mind.
“I’m sorry,” Becca said, her head dropping as she stared down at the ground.
“Why?” he asked.
“Auntie Sally says I can’t run away no more.”
“It’s any more.”
“What?” she asked, her head jerking up to stare at him.
“You said, ‘I can’t run away no more.’ It’s any more. You can’t run away any more.”
“Oh.” Her tiny brows furrowed as she thought about what he’d said. “I didn’t mean to say it wrong.”
“It’s okay sweetie, I’m not mad. I’m just teaching you.”
“Like in school?”
“Yes.” He smiled. “And thank you for saying sorry,” he said. “I don’t want you to run away no more.”
Becca smiled, her face lighting up as she nodded and again something in his chest tightened.
This was his new normal and for the first time since he’d discovered he had a daughter, the thought didn’t scare him quite so much.
Chapter Seven
Lina stood in the children’s section of Once Upon a Book, the local bookstore where she often filled in to work. Paula Sloane, the owner, had called her earlier. One of her high school students called in sick and Lina had offered to come in.
Today, Paula wanted to rearrange the children’s book area and create a larger reading space for the kids. Lina had always been good at organizing and she loved rearranging things at home so she’d volunteered.
“Thank you so much for coming in today,” Paula said, standing at the edge of the small area. “Sometimes I love that you don’t have a full-time job.”
Lina stiffened at the comment. “Why?”
“Because it means you’re more flexible to work. Don’t ever commit.” She laughed.
Lina tried not to be offended but something in her gut tensed, even though she had no reason. She was twenty-five years old and still flailing around like she was seventeen.
Most days it didn’t bother her but recently she’d wondered what her passion was, what her purpose in this life was. What was she doing with her life?
Maybe she truly had commitment issues. She’d never held a full-time job, and the last time she’d been in a real relationship…well, she couldn’t remember.
“And thank you for rearranging this…” Paula waved her hand in the air, “I don’t know what you’d call it…mess?”
Lina laughed, letting the introspective thoughts go. “You’re welcome.
And it’s not a mess.”
“That’s what you say now,” Paula sighed, leaning against one of the shelves.
“How’s January feeling?” Lina asked.
January Walden was a high school student who also worked part-time at the book store.
“She said she has a stomach virus.” Paula leaned in closer. “But between you and me, I’m pretty sure her virus,” she used air quotes, “has ten fingers and ten toes, if you know what I mean.” Paula wiggled her fingers in the air.
Paula was known as the town gossip, but Lina wasn’t going to indulge her this time. January was a nice girl and if she wasn’t pregnant, Lina didn’t want to spread half-truths. She knew all too well how rumors could ruin your life.
“Well, I hope she feels better soon,” Lina said, walking around the small area and praying Paula would get the hint that she didn’t want to speculate.
“Me too,” Paula sighed. “She’s a good worker.”
“And a good kid.” Lina raised a brow in challenge.
“I know.” Paula shook her head. “My lips are sealed. I won’t say another word.”
“Good.” Lina smiled.
“Until it’s confirmed.” Paula smiled.
Lina tossed one of the stuffed animals for sale in the children’s section at her. “Go do something besides cause trouble.”
Paula pouted. “You’re no fun.”
“Do you want me to straighten out this area or not?”
Paula held up her hands in surrender. “Fine, fine. Have at it. I’m just so glad you’re OCD.”
“I’m not OCD. I’m a survivor. Growing up in a small house with five other women, I had to be if I wanted to find anything.”
Paula laughed, but walked to the front of the store, leaving Lina surveying the "mess."
She pulled her hair back and studied the disorganized area. Kids tended to pull down books without putting them back where they belonged when they got rowdy. Sometimes it was less that they were rowdy and more that their parents didn’t make them. Lina often wondered what people were thinking. Her mother and nonna would never let her be so disrespectful of other people’s property.
She put her hands on her hips, studying the small area, trying to think like a child. Where would she want to sit if she were reading a book, or looking at the pictures?
The bell above the door sounded and Lina glanced around one of the small bookshelves to the front door.
Jake and Becca walked in.
She smiled, not sure why she was happy to see them again.
Jake was handsome. Okay, more than that, if she were honest. And Becca was a sweet girl, but their lives were complicated. Maybe once upon a time she would have let her mind wander to thoughts of her and Jake becoming more, but Lina didn’t do chaos anymore.
“Hello,” Paula said. “Welcome to Once Upon a Book. May I help you?”
“Oh, no thank you,” Jake said, “we’re just looking around.” The poor guy looked lost and confused, and even more tired than the last time she’d seen him, if that were possible.
She knew better than to get involved, though.
“Well, the kids section is right up there.” Paula motioned to where Lina stood. Busted.
She felt a flush of embarrassment. Jake was a big shot with a political career he’d worked hard for. She worked part time in a book store and picked up odd jobs around town.
She shoved the feelings aside. More and more lately, she found herself wondering what she was doing with her life.
“Hey guys,” she called out as she walked down two steps and around the book shelf into the main area of the store.
“Lina!” Becca shouted, running for her, arms opened wide.
Lina saw two Mickey Mouse bandages on both knees.
“Hey, topolina,” she said, scooping Becca up in her arms.
“What did you call me?” Becca asked, squeezing her neck.
“Topolina,” Lina repeated. “It’s what my nonna calls me.” Okay that was weird. Lina had babysat plenty of children before, even her own siblings, and had never called them by Nonna’s pet name for her. “It means little mouse in Italian,” she said. “But it also means Mickey Mouse.” Lina pointed to her band-aids.
“Mickey Mouse,” Becca squealed in delight. “Say it again.”
“Topolina,” Lina said slowly.
“Toe-poe-lina” Becca said, adding emphasis on the last syllable. “Lina, like your name.”
“Exactly,” Lina smiled. “Topolina.”
“Toe-poe-lina,” Becca repeated. Lina had to bite back a laugh at the child’s American butchering of the Italian word.
“Hey,” Jake said, finally making his way toward them.
She hefted Becca on her hip and stared at Jake from head to toe. “You look tired,” she said.
“He doesn’t sleep good,” Becca said.
“Well,” Jake said. “I don’t sleep well.”
Becca rolled her eyes. “Jakey said we’re here to buy books.”
“Jakey?” She stared from Becca to Jake, trying to hold back a smirk.
“Don’t ask,” he said, rolling his eyes like Becca had. Lina couldn’t stop the smile at that. He and his daughter were picking up each other’s mannerisms.
Jake raised a brow, as if daring her.
“Jakey,” Lina smirked, “that’s not nice to do to Becca.”
Becca folded her arms over her chest. “Yeah. What she said.”
Jake groaned.
“You either, topolina,” she said, setting Becca down.
Becca frowned but looked guilty. “Sorry,” she said quietly.
“Why don’t you go find a book in the children’s section,” Lina said. “Maybe you can help me rearrange it? I’m going to make an area for kids to sit and read.”
“Okay,” Becca said, skipping away without a care.
“How do you do that?” Jake asked, watching as Becca made a bee line to the play area.
“Do what?”
“Disarm her so quickly.”
“Practice, I guess.” She shrugged. “Sisters. Remember I lived in a house filled with girls. If you want advice, you should probably ask my father.”
Jake leaned against one of the shelves. “Maybe I will.”
He was quiet for a long time as they watched his new-found daughter.
“I like control,” he said, so quietly Lina wasn’t sure it was directed at her. “And now my life is so…”
“Out of control?” she asked.
“You have no idea,” he grumbled.
She laughed. “Actually, I do. Three sisters, Italian family, remember?” When she heard no response, she turned and stared at him.
His eyes were glued to her, studying her intently.
“What?” she asked, returning his scrutinizing gaze.
“What, what?” he said, laughing.
“You’re a mess.”
Jake glanced down at his wrinkled shirt. “I know, right.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that.” She swatted his arm and noted it was muscular and sexy as hell. Wait. Arms weren’t sexy, were they?
“What did you mean, then?” he asked, his eyes locked on hers.
“Never mind.” She shook her head, trying to rid herself of images of Jake’s arms.
“What’s that?” He pointed behind her to the window.
“It’s a flyer for a meeting at the library.”
“I saw one at the diner and one at Kayleigh’s vet clinic. What’s going on?”
“The state and federal governments are trying to bulldoze their plans to expand I-70 right through town.”
“That’s doesn’t sound so bad,” he said. “Would probably be good for business.”
Lina felt her temper rise but held back her anger. Her quick temper and rush to emotions had caused enough problems in her life. “It might be good for business—that has yet to be seen—but it would be horrible for the environment.”
“So what’s up with the meeting?” he asked.
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br /> “I’m trying to form a group of concerned citizens. Fighting the big man takes a lot of voices and resources.”
“The ‘big man?’” Jake laughed.
Lina scowled. “What would you call the state and federal governments and powerful corporations trying to sneak in and take over pristine land for decreased highway traffic? Better commute times?”
Jake backed away. “I’d call it a day in the California state legislature,” he said under his breath, but she heard it.
“You may be used to the politics but we’re not.”
“Who’s the we in ‘we’re?’” he asked.
Lina studied him for a moment trying to figure out if he was being sincere or a jerk.
“What?” he asked.
“We are a group of concerned citizens and business owners.”
“Does your group have a name?” he asked.
She studied him. Was he being serious? “No. Why would we have a name?”
“It would be more effective when you lobbied.”
“Lobbied what?”
“Well, I’m assuming this is federal money pushing for the new road.”
She shook her head. “Mostly state, but there might be local money added to the effort, depending on how the town votes.”
“You’re already here at the local level. If you want to move higher, to the echelons that really matter, you’ll need to be in the face of the state and federal agencies and representatives. To do that effectively, you need a collective group of people committed to your cause. I’ve found that if you give that group a name, it has more standing within the senators’ and representatives’ offices.”
She sank back on the shelf. He wasn’t making fun of her. He was legitimately trying to help.
“And it will help when you do interviews,” he continued, “a group name will help you sound more credible.”
“Interviews?” she said.
“You’ll want to stir up some local and state attention with the media. That would help move your cause to the top of any legislator’s short list.”
“So you agree, the expansion isn’t a good idea?”
“Look,” he said, standing up straight, “I’m not saying the expansion is good or bad. I can’t say one way or the other without looking at all the factors involved and seeing an environmental impact statement. I’m just trying to give you some advice on how to properly mobilize.”