by Suzy Turner
I slowly lifted myself out of the water until I stood facing him. He placed his hands underneath my arms and lifted me, slowly, twirling me around and around. The water whirled around my thighs. I became dizzy with happiness.
'Oh Adam,' I sighed. As he eventually put me down, his arms must have ached, for sure.
'Whose place is this?'
Adam swam towards the edge of the pool and leaned backwards before answering me. 'It's mine, Eve.'
'What? What do you mean, it's yours?'
'I inherited it from my grandmother, about two months ago.'
'Oh Adam, I'm so sorry,' I said, swimming towards him.
He shook his head and smiled at me.
'What?' I asked.
'Most people would be so awed by the house and the garden that they wouldn't even think about my loss. That actually means a lot. Thank you.'
I smiled. 'Tell me about your grandmother?' I asked.
He grinned and began to tell me all about the woman he'd adored. His parents had died within a year of each other when he was just seven, and old Nana Grove had taken over the parental duties. She'd found it difficult at first, but soon they'd become close.
'Don't you have any brothers or sisters?'
'I had an older brother, but he died with my dad in the car accident.'
'Oh, I had no idea. That's horrendous.'
'My mum couldn't cope, and she took her own life less than a year later.'
'Shit, Adam.' I said pulling him towards me. 'Nobody should have to go through such tragedy.'
'You did. With your grandparents.'
'You remembered?'
'I remembered everything you told me then, Eve. They died in a plane crash when you were a teenager.'
I nodded. It wasn't something I liked talking about, but I think Adam had gone through something far worse. I felt closer to him for feeling like he could talk to me about it.
'We've both seen tragedy,' he said sadly. 'Which is why we should be happy.' He pulled me towards him, and I let him.
His kiss was deep and full of longing. I returned it with equal desperation before pulling back with a grin and pushing myself off the side of the pool with both my legs.
I saw his grin and he followed me until we were in the centre, treading water and holding on to each other as if our lives depended on it.
We moved along until our feet touched the tiles beneath us and then further until I was leaning back on the steps and he was lying over me. He stared down into my eyes and kissed me again and again, until I flipped him over and straddled him, pulling his chest towards me, rubbing my nipples against him. I could feel his hardness sitting between us both, and God did I want him. I moved my hand down and stroked him, gently at first, slowly increasing the intensity until he became breathless. Then I pulled away from him and swam back to the side of the pool, pulling myself out, perching on the side with a grin. His gaze followed me and then he slowly followed until he stood in front of me. His face level with the part of me that throbbed the most. He moved his head forward and licked the inside of my thigh. Leaning back, I smiled and placed my hands on the back of his head as he slowly moved it towards where I needed him.
Suddenly a light came on and broke the moment.
'Dad!' yelled a voice I was unfamiliar with.
Shock hit me and I dropped immediately into the warm water, looking around to see where the voice had come from.
Adam froze, pushing me behind him.
'Jack? What the hell?' Adam said, unable to utter anything else.
'Dad, what are you doing here? And erm... Charlie? That wasn't Charlie, was it?'
Adam slowly shook his head. 'Jack, please would you go back inside and get yourself a drink. We'll be right in,' he said, shame written all over his face.
Mortified, I waited for his son to close the door behind him and pulled myself out of the pool.
'Oh God, I knew this was a bad idea,' I muttered. 'Are there towels anywhere?'
'Yes, just over there,' Adam pointed. He was clearly in more shock than I was, if that were at all possible.
I grabbed them both, wrapping one around myself and handing the other to Adam.
Quickly drying ourselves, we put Adam's clothes back on without saying a word.
Just as I was about to push open the door, Adam grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him and hugged me.
'I'm so sorry about this. I'd forgotten that the kids had keys. I never expected this to happen. Please forgive me.'
I looked up and slowly extricated myself from his grip. 'Adam, it's as much my fault as it is yours. This should never have happened. It won't happen again,' I said, as I stepped backwards and went to open the door.
'Eve,' he cried, stepping forward. 'Please just kiss me. If this is our last, I want... please. Kiss me.'
His request brought tears to my eyes, and I pressed my lips against his, our tongues intertwining with lust and more. But I slowly broke away and stepped backwards.
'I'll wait in the car. And then I'd like you to take me home, please.'
Adam nodded. I knew he was watching me walk away.
CHAPTER TEN
The night of our Christmas party was finally upon us, and as much as I'd tried to put it off, Matt had continued to push me to keep it on. I'd relented. How could I explain the reasoning behind wanting to cancel it?
Thankfully Adam's son had kept quiet, but he was a boy of strong morals and he had insisted his father remain faithful to his wife. Needless to say, Jack was more important to him than anybody, so he'd agreed. We'd spoken, albeit briefly. Meals out with Charlie and Matt had been a little strained, although we'd managed to avoid becoming the centre of attention. Me feigning migraines and Adam excusing himself early with work issues. It had worked well until then.
Hopefully it would be easy enough to avoid each other for one more night of partying. Matt had invited as many of his friends as possible. I, on the other hand, didn't want to involve anyone so had left the invites to my husband.
I was to play the dutiful wife, so I did my hair exactly how Matt liked it – up in a loose pony tail with a few soft ringlets dropping to each side of my face. I also let him choose my outfit, so I was standing in front of the mirror wearing a short black dress and pink high heels. It was a little over the top for me, but it was what Matt liked, so I went along with it.
'You look beautiful,' he said, standing in the bedroom doorway, looking at me.
'You think?' I asked uncertainly.
'I don't think. I know. You ready? Guests should be arriving any minute.'
I nodded and took his arm.
'Right this way Mrs. Brooke.'
I smiled as we walked down the stairs and into the kitchen together, where he let me go and started double checking that all the food and drinks were where they should be.
'I'm sure everything's fine,' I said as the doorbell rang. 'Go and greet your guests.'
'Don't you meanour guests?' he asked before walking out of the room.
I turned the oven off and pulled out the last of the nibbles as I listened to the laughter in the hallway. Forcing a smile, I turned to find Charlie walking towards me carrying a bottle of wine.
'You look amazing, Charlie,' I said, kissing her on both cheeks.
Her dress was different to the style she usually wore, very floaty, with tonnes of fabric. She looked very pretty though, with her trademark bouffant hairdo.
Matt and Adam were shaking hands and exchanging the usual pleasantries as Charlie giggled. 'Can I pop to the loo?'
'Of course. You know where it is,' I said, watching her wiggle to the downstairs bathroom as the doorbell rang again.
Matt immediately headed to open it, and I stood in the kitchen with Adam.
'How are you, Adam?' I asked, pouring myself my first glass of wine. I knew it would probably be the first of many.
'Okay, I think. How are you?' he said trying to search my face to find out the truth.
'You're okay, you think?'<
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'I think I need a drink,' he said.
'Why don't you help yourself,' I suggested, and he nodded gratefully. He bypassed the lager and wine and went straight to the brandy.
'Are you sure you're okay?' I whispered as I watched him down the first one before pouring a second.
He shook his head, just as Matt began introducing the crowd to each other.
Charlie appeared from the loo and poured herself a glass of orange juice.
'Orange juice?' I laughed. 'That's not like you.'
Then it dawned on me, and I looked from her to Adam and back again.
'You're pregnant?' I whispered.
Charlie squealed and nodded. 'We were going to keep it a secret but now that you've guessed… Well, you all may as well know. We're going to have a baby.' She squealed again.
Adam just stood, clearly mortified, as everyone began passing on their congratulations to the excited blonde.
Matt stood, dumb-founded for a moment, before he turned to Adam. 'Congratulations, mate. Well done,' he said, looking totally shocked. 'I wasn't expecting that,' he muttered.
'Yes, yes, congratulations,' I said, trying to hide the hurt I was feeling inside. A baby? They were going to have a baby? The one thing I could never have myself and she was pregnant. Carrying the baby I wished so badly could have been mine. Mine and Adam's. Yes, mine and Adam’s, that was my first thought. Not mine and Matt's. Oh God.
I turned away from everyone and walked out of the kitchen, up the stairs and into the bedroom, where I sat on the bed and sobbed.
Minutes later, Matt appeared beside me. 'I'm sorry, babe. I know how hard it is every time one of your friends gets pregnant,' he said, putting his arm around my shoulders. 'I thought you'd come to terms with it long ago?' he asked.
He had no idea why I was really crying, so I just nodded, 'I thought so, too. It's hard, knowing I'll never have a baby growing inside me, you know.'
'I know, darling, I know. Shhhhh,' he said, standing up and pulling me up with him.
'Now, come on, pull yourself together. We're having a party. You need to get back into the party mood. Come on, let's go and have a drink. It'll make you feel better.'
I tried to smile and followed him, before I stopped and turned towards the bathroom. 'I'd better just go and freshen up first. I'll be right down.'
He nodded and left me to it.
In the bathroom, I leaned forward to look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were a little bloodshot, and my eyeliner had slid down my cheeks a little, but other than that, nobody would notice. I wiped my cheeks and smiled. It was so fake. I just hoped everyone would be getting too drunk to notice. I forced my shoulders back and shook my head, trying to get the image of Adam and Charlie together out of my imagination. They were married, they could have a baby if they want one. Right?
As I walked downstairs, Adam was cradling another brandy and trying to get my attention. He nodded towards the back door. I shook my head. I didn't want to talk to him. I couldn't. He pleaded with his eyes and I eventually relented. Making sure everyone else was busy partying, I headed outside a few minutes after he disappeared.
He stood beside the bins at the side of the house, out of sight, in the darkness. I gingerly stepped towards him.
'A baby?' I whispered.
He took another gulp of his drink and looked like he wanted to smash the glass against the wall.
'I had no idea,' he said gruffly. 'We haven't,' he looked down. 'We haven't been close since... since.'
'It doesn't matter, Adam. She's your wife. I'm happy for you both.'
He looked up, surprised. 'Really? How could you be?'
'Oh Adam,' I said, leaning against the wall beside him and taking a long swig of my wine. 'Of course I'm not really happy about it. I'm devastated.'
'Oh babe,' he said, trying to pull me towards him.
'No,' I cried. 'Don't. Never again, remember?' I searched his eyes as we both thought back to the swimming pool. 'Especially not now. She's carrying your child. She's your wife, Adam. Not me.'
'I was... I was going to leave her,' he whispered.
A breath caught in my chest and I struggled with my feelings for him.
'Wh...when?'
'I've been trying to do it since... since the manor. Jack...'
'Oh,' was all I could say.
'Jack made me see sense, Eve, and I knew that I couldn't continue this charade with Charlie. It isn’t fair on her to stay when I’m...' he faltered. 'When I’m so deeply in love with another woman,' he said, looking away from me.
I gasped and put my hand to my chest. 'Oh Adam. I...I feel the same way, but things are different, now.'
'I know.' He laughed mirthlessly. 'Now I have to do the right thing for my child.'
'Yes,' I said, standing upright. 'You married her, you must love her, right? You can make it work.' I was saying everything I didn't want to say, but I knew it was the right thing to do. His child was more important than anything. His child was so precious.
He slowly nodded. 'I thought I loved her, Eve, but now I know it's not real love. There's only one real love in my life,' he whispered, stepping away from me. 'I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry,' he said, turning to look at me, before he pushed open the kitchen door and walked inside without looking back again.
Real love? I knew exactly what he meant.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Matt was moping around the house again. He was beginning to drive me insane. 'Go for a ride,' I suggested. 'It's a nice enough day.'
He shrugged his shoulders.
'You haven't been since Charlie's doctor told her not to. It's her he said shouldn't do it, not you. What happened to all your other cycle buddies, anyway?' I asked, irritated.
He shrugged.
'How about a motorbike ride? You haven't been out for a few weeks. Why not do that? I just want you to do something, Matt.'
He perked up a little bit.
'You could invite Howard to go with you?'
'Yes, I suppose,' he muttered.
'What's the matter with you, babe? Something's eating you.'
'Nothing, I'm fine, really. Must be the weather or something.'
I glanced outside – at the unusually bright blue sky for March – and arched my eyebrows. 'It's a beautiful day out there, why would it be the weather?'
'Maybe the moon, then,' he said, half smirking at me.
I laughed. 'Oh yes, you’re one of those people affected by the moon. Must be that. Do you want me to go out with you?'
He raised his eyebrows. 'You want to go out on the bike?'
I shrugged. 'If it makes you feel better.'
Matt smiled. 'It's a nice idea, but making you miserable won't really help matters, will it? Maybe I'll just go out for a ride for a bit.'
'That's the spirit.' I smiled. At last, a decision. Maybe I could try and get some work done in the meantime.
He disappeared into the garage and after five minutes, re-emerged with his helmet in his hands. He looked as if he was in slightly better spirits. I sat drinking a cup of tea at the kitchen table as he carefully cleaned his visor.
Then he went to put on his leathers, returning a few minutes later, all geared-up and ready to go. He was grinning.
'It's nice to see you smiling for a change,' I said as he bent over and pecked me on the lips.
'I'll see you in a few hours, then.'
'I'll be here. Just be careful.'
'I will,' he grinned.
'Love you,' I called out as the garage door slammed behind him. Minutes later, the deep burbling sound of his Yamaha R1 echoed throughout the house. I went to the front door and watched him close the garage door, before he climbed back on and rode down the road at a higher speed than he should have been driving – at least down our street, anyway.
As I turned to go back inside, I spotted Charlie standing in her living room watching him drive away. She wiped the side of her face and then, when she saw me, she looked a little embarrassed before waving and scurryi
ng away.
Finally having the house to myself, I plodded up the stairs and walked into my office. It was my haven. Matt had decorated it for me within the last month. He'd done it exactly to my specification. I'd told him I wanted it to look like a forest, so he'd really gone to town. The most beautiful deep green forest wallpaper covered all four walls and a tall bookcase filled one side of the room. A thick dark green carpet covered the floor, and he'd taken special care installing a false ceiling, painted a deep shade of blue, which was filled with tiny holes. Lights above it made each hole twinkle like the most stunning night sky. My desk was in one corner, so my back was against the wall when I worked. And from there I could see both the gorgeous forest and out of the window. Heavy blackout blinds completely shut out any daylight if I wanted to just be in the dark; I tended to work better in the dark. I smiled every time I entered. Just being in there made me want to create a new book. Sadly though, my inspiration had come to an abrupt halt several months earlier. I wonder what caused it, I thought sarcastically as I closed the blinds and then lay on the floor, spreading my arms and legs out like a child as I looked up at my false sky.
I smiled though, as I identified the constellations that Matt had created. Sometimes he could be particularly sweet, even lately, in between his dark moods. Moods that he didn't want to talk about. He was shutting me out. But then, isn't that what I had been doing before? We hadn't really talked for months.
I rolled over on to my side and looked at the old fashioned brown lamp I'd found in a second hand shop in town. Most people thought it was ugly, but I saw the beauty in it immediately. It was moulded to look like leaves, and the second I'd spotted it, I knew it would be perfect for my office. Matt had looked at me as if I were mad when I'd brought it home, but when it was placed in the corner, it looked like it had been designed solely for that purpose. Even Matt had agreed it looked good.