He’d noticed the other men’s appreciative glances, but had felt proud, not threatened, had found it amusing she never seemed to notice the way men looked at her.
Until he’d seen red. The lobbyist couldn’t seem to keep his hands to himself, and Lauren did nothing to brush him away. Cameron knew better than to open himself up to this.
He wasn’t ready to put a label on what he felt for her, but he did care for her more than he should. Until tonight he thought she felt the same way. So many things she’d said and done added up to make him think she was open to the possibility of more, should he give her the slightest hint he’d be agreeable to it.
“Are you okay?” Lauren’s voice tried to break into his thoughts.
Cameron said nothing, willing her to disappear and praying for the strength to let her go before he got in any deeper.
“What happened?” She stepped closer, putting a hand on his shoulder. He flinched, shifting out of her reach. He looked up at her, praying she couldn’t see the painful yearning he felt for her in his gaze. Uncertainty flickered briefly in Lauren’s green eyes.
Taking a breath to steady himself, Cameron looked her in the eye. “I can’t do this, Lauren. You need to leave.”
“No.” She crossed her arms across her chest, intensity etched on her face. “Tell me what happened.” She kept her distance and her protective stance.
He wanted her to leave. Knew she would bolt as soon as he confronted her with what he’d seen, so he hit her with it. “I saw you with him.”
“I didn’t—”
Cameron shook his head and tapped his temple. “I saw you. The way you flirted tonight, saw their hands on you. You never once brushed them off.”
“I didn’t want to make a scene.”
“Unless it’s what you wanted. To draw their attention, catch a bigger fish?”
“Omigawd, you’re jealous.”
“Maybe I’m just seeing you for what you are. Moving up, looking for a better deal.”
“If you really believe that, I will go.”
She leveled her gaze at him, chastising him with a glare. In light of what he’d seen, from her tonight and women who’d left before, he knew better than to trust her. Which was the real reason he couldn’t have more than a relationship in passing. After that night, he learned not to trust anyone but himself.
“This isn’t about tonight, is it?”
He closed his eyes. The scenes in his mind changing from imaginary to vicious memories. His stomach reeled and his mind went blessedly blank.
“What happened?”
“When your ex told you he’d found someone else, what did you do?”
“I ran away to Europe for the summer.”
“No, not after. What did you do in that moment?”
Her mouth moved, but no words came. He watched the pain cross her face before she swallowed and spoke. “I froze. I heard the words, and I saw what I would become if I accepted it and married him. I flashed to my brother and my father at their funerals and thought this was the first good thing about them being gone. If they hadn’t died I wouldn’t have postponed the wedding, and I wouldn’t have slept with him because I felt empty, and I wouldn’t have known any of it until it was too late.”
She reached up and wiped her eyes of tears she refused to let fall. She’d resolved never to cry about it again. Sobbing got her nothing but puffy eyes. She met Cameron’s gaze and held it, seeing his secret was far darker than hers.
“I opened the door and saw her, and him, in my bed. She still had my ring on. But his father was a millionaire, so I should understand her choice. It was never me she wanted, but who she thought I would be.”
“Was that the only time?” The cold pain of his devastation was warmed by the realization he trusted her. His jealousy could only mean she wasn’t alone in investing emotions into this relationship.
“That a woman used me? No. Just the last time I let anyone rub my nose in it.”
“And that’s what you thought I was doing tonight? Trawling in front of your face?”
“Weren’t you?”
With a groan Lauren wrenched her arms behind her, unzipping the dress and shrugging it off. When it hit her feet she stepped out and kicked it at his face. Clad only in panties and heels, she squared her shoulders and stared at him.
“Donna Karan is obviously too much for us to handle right now. I wore that dress because I wanted your attention. Instead, I got the attention of a bunch of personality deficient schmucks, and you on the verge of accusing me of something we both know I’m not doing.”
She reached for his cheek and he closed his eyes when she touched his skin. “We don’t know where this is going, so we think outrageous things to try and protect ourselves. I wear designer dresses to try to fit in with the other wives and show you we can be more than temporary, and you think because some idiots in your past traded up I will, too.”
“Don’t make excuses for me, Lauren. The urge to stop myself from being hurt is so strong, it’s primal. I don’t want to hurt you because of it.”
“There is only once choice I can see.” She slid her hands around his neck, slipping down beside him on the bed. “Indulge your primal urges with me.”
Chapter Fourteen
He never thought someone would be this accepting and understanding. The challenge in her gaze calmed him in ways even the exertion hadn’t. A peaceful certainty that as long as he was with Lauren, he’d never have to worry about reliving that moment.
“I had a similar reaction to that stupid cow who kept staring at your ass. At first I wanted to clunk her in the head with the wine, but with the white carpets in this mausoleum, that would become my headache, not hers. So I thought about you and me in the shower. About lemons and zucchini and plums and strawberries. About all the things about you she’d never know, because I wouldn’t give her a chance to learn.” Her lips brushed against his softly.
He cupped her cheeks with his hands and kissed her face off. How in the world had he ever gotten so lucky to find her, this woman who’d accept everything about him without judgment or reprimand? And how had he missed it until now?
“I’ll be back in an hour,” he said, stepping away and grabbing his shirt and shoes from the floor.
“You’re leaving, right now?” Lauren’s pink lips formed a perfect moue. “Where are you going?”
“To do something I should have done a week ago.”
…
New York had its advantages, with theaters he never had time to go to, and restaurants he chose based on clients’ requests. But New York City did not have super centers. Places like this where a guy could buy a Christmas tree, tree stand, twinkle lights, a tablecloth to swirl around the base, an espresso machine, and an ice cream maker with one swipe of a credit card. Even better, the staff had found his rushed shopping spree so amusing they helped him collect the ingredients for chocolate ice cream and tied the tree to the top of the mammoth SUV. Really, he needed to trade that in on a hybrid model.
Cameron parked by the kitchen door, deciding to set up the tree in the den rather than the living room. He pushed all the furniture to the side of the room and set up the tree in the middle, so they could see both the fireplace and the tree if they laid on the floor. His and hers fantasies at their best.
He set up the tree exactly as they had told him at the store, trying not to get tangled in the tiny lights as he wound them around. He draped the tablecloths around the base to cover up the ugliness and brought in the food and appliances in the oversized gift bags he’d purchased. Setting them at the base of the tree he felt like Santa Claus. Well, Santa minus fifty pounds.
Dashing up the stairs for a quick shower, he checked the rooms for Lauren. Finally he found her asleep on his bed. She’d stretched out on top of the white comforter, her makeup washed off and her hair around her shoulders. A paperback lay open next to her hand.
The vision of Lauren on his bed in sage green silk tap pants trimmed in lace and a sheer l
ace trimmed camisole that exposed her taut belly gave him pause. This must be part of the lingerie collection she promised. He’d need to be more creative with his gifts to keep up with presents like this.
He didn’t want to wake her before his shower, but curiosity about what she read had him gently lifting the book from the bed. He closed the door on the bathroom before turning on the light and flipping through the pages. From what he skimmed about tropical locations and hot sticky skin, he knew it was romance. But the scene with the warmed honey had him deciding on a very cold shower, and praying she’d gotten that far in the book.
After drying off and changing into a pair of black silk boxers he set the book on the nightstand and sat on the bed beside her. His finger against the skin of her arm elicited a smile.
“Did you like what you read?” She spoke without opening her eyes.
“You’re not asleep?”
“I’m drifting in and out. Did you read the bit about eating pasta off his chest? I’m not doing that.”
One would hope not. “Did you read the part about the honey?”
“No.” She sat up and looked around, her gaze catching the book on the nightstand. “Would you read it to me?”
“Like a bedtime story?”
“Yes please.” She sat up on her knees. “I’ll even promise to buy honey.”
“Okay.” He wondered how comfortable he’d be reading the suggestive words aloud. But then it was Lauren, and if it upped his odds of having her lick warm honey off his dick, he was game. He shifted as the mental picture came into focus. “But first I have something downstairs for you.”
“I told you, I stole condoms from Christa.” Lauren leaned across the bed, pulling open the drawer to showcase her pilfered display of colorful packages.
Good thing, because he hadn’t even thought of that while he was out. “It’s better than condoms.” He stood, tugging her to her feet.
He led her down the stairs, ignoring her questions of where he’d gone and protests about buying her things. Down the dark hallway he pulled her behind him, flipping the switch in the den that turned on the lights for the tree.
She gasped and clutched his hand tighter, her other hand on her chest. “My tree!”
He gave her hand a squeeze, then released it, crossing the room to flip the switch that lit the gas fireplace. The room had a soft warm glow, flickering with the firelight and the festive scent of pine.
The only things in the room he could throw on the ground were the white chenille throws from the white couches. Lauren and her bursts of color hadn’t made it into this room yet. He spread the blankets between the tree and the fireplace and sat, reaching for the gift bags.
“I asked Diego where to buy what you wanted, but he said I needed to let you order them for yourself, no matter what you said.” He looked up at her, glassy eyed and still standing by the entryway. “Come on, prove him wrong.”
She stepped to the edge of the blankets and kneeled down, tucking her strawberry blonde hair behind her ears. “You and Diego talked about me?”
“A little.” He nudged the bag closer. “He said you’d want industrial-sized machines that you had to order from catalogs for parties. But this is for now.”
She squealed when she lifted the ice cream maker from the bag, so he slid her the heavier bag. A peal of laughter rang through the room as she ripped away the side of the bag to see the espresso machine. He passed her the third bag, which did not have the same effect.
She put her gifts aside and closed her eyes, a teardrop squeezing out of each eye. “I can’t do this.”
His heart stalled in his chest, tightening until he remembered to breathe.
“I’m breaking the rules. I know I promised you I could do this, just be physical and have no strings, but I can’t. Especially when you do things like this.”
She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and continued. “I thought I could, that I was too restless for commitment, too independent for a relationship. But I can’t pretend I’m not crossing the line and it’s just an intellectual fascination or a physical attraction anymore. I haven’t had to fake any of it, even though I know it isn’t real.”
“It’s real to me.” He scooted closer to her, taking her trembling hand in his. “I think we’ve caught up to where people assumed we were from the beginning.”
“Really?” She wiped her eyes again and sniffed, letting out a long slow breath.
“I never thought I’d find someone strong enough to support me without dragging me down. A person who cared about me and not my income potential.” She wiped at her eyes again. “Please stop crying. It makes me want to do something to make you feel better.”
“So, make me feel better.” Lauren reached for him, touching him differently than before. With more need and less hunger. His skin was so soft and strong beneath her hands as she reached around him, caressing his shoulders and back. She rubbed her hands down his sides, to the elastic band keeping his boxers on.
His lips tantalized her as they began to kiss, his tongue stoking the fire inside of her. She hungered for his long fingered caress, the completeness of having him inside of her.
He pulled away and framed her face in his hands, staring into her eyes. At the sight of his hypnotic gaze she wanted to say it. I love you. Wanted to say the words from her soul and not as a conciliation or replacement for goodbye over the telephone. For once she knew the power of the words.
But they caught in her throat. She’d pushed him so far already tonight. Yesterday their game had still been on for him. Best not to rock the boat until he had his sea legs under him.
“Look at me,” he whispered, the vulnerability in his voice melting her.
“I am.”
His head shook slightly. “You’re zoning out. I want to look at you.”
Her breath quickening, she gave herself over to his request. When he looked at her that way, she thought he could see her soul. Let him see the truth there, then her love for him wouldn’t come as a surprise later.
Energy surged between them, the emotions flowing from one to the other and back again until they felt the same thing. Lauren felt them merging, though they barely touched, her body tingling with the desire in his. The notes of a simply melody danced across her skin, a song she knew he played in his head.
A thrilling rush of adrenaline shot through her, piquing all her senses. She looked deep into his beautiful soul, saw the tears there that had left him broken and lonely. She saw what needed healing and knew she could.
She also saw confirmation of what she’d felt earlier at his confession. He’d learned from his mistakes. She looked deeper, seeing the man who protected others at his own expense, who wanted to use his position to save the world from itself. Altruistic capitalism.
What he tried to hide as his eyelids grew heavy rocked her to the core. She felt his love for her. Maybe it was hopeful, or her own affection mirrored back to her in his eyes. But she didn’t doubt it, let it in and flow through her with a powerful gush. And then the power left her in a turbulent pull. Her eyes widened at the shock, her body pulsing as vibrant colors danced around them.
She fell forward against him, her sex clenching in tiny spasms. Her heart thundered in her chest, her body taut as a live wire. Had he really brought her to climax without touching her?
“I’ve read about that,” he whispered against her hair, his hand rubbing slow circles on her back. “That night on the piano, I thought we might be able to, and it scared me.”
“What is it?”
“Tantric. Minds connecting.”
She looked up at him. “Did you?”
“Not yet. We’ll get the timing down with practice.” His lips dropped down to meet hers in a soft kiss. He pulled her body closer to his, then broke the kiss to lift the chemise over her head.
He laid her down beside him and she gave herself permission to enjoy him without worries of sexual equality or tomorrow. Her body already weak with the intensity of the moment, s
he couldn’t have turned the tables on him if she tried.
His hot lips stroked her collarbone, pressing sweet kisses against the dip at her neck. Warm hands massaged her skin, making a path for his mouth to follow. The rasp of his tongue on her breast, the tug of his lips against her nipple made her arch into him, slick and ready and more than willing to do anything but wait to have him inside her body as deep as she felt him in her soul.
She slid her hands down his back, her fingers slipping over the silk of his boxers, gripping at his firm butt and remembering the power those muscles held to pound pleasure into her flesh. She pushed her tap pants over her hips and kicked them off the rest of the way to show him she was ready. Then peeled his boxers down his firm thighs.
His hard cock pressed against her pussy as he wriggled his boxers off the rest of the way. But instead of plunging into her like she needed, he shifted to the side and continued his glorious focus to her breasts, pushing them together so he could alternate his attentions and rapidly drive her insane.
Two could play this frustrating game. Now that she could think again, she reached for him, giving his cock a rough squeeze that made him groan, vibrating her nipple in his mouth. Slippery from pressing against her, she rubbed him appreciatively, wondering how much of this he could take. She was nearly out of her mind, and she’d come once already to take the edge off. Still, she’d never felt such a deep aching desire before.
She pumped him quick and hard, stroking up and down, stopping only to circle his tight balls and polish his fleshy tip. She knew she’d won the battle when he pulled her fingers off him and pinned her arms over her head.
Her mind whirling, her body on sensual overload, she nearly exploded when he slipped his hand between her legs, opening her so he could slide into her with one smooth thrust. She arched and screamed at the sensation, at once too much and not enough. Before she caught her breath his body began to undulate and rub against hers, his tempo increasing.
She stared up at the twinkling lights of the tree, her heart full of the loving act of bringing her fantasy to life. Moans echoed through the room until he covered her mouth with his, muffling the sounds while kissing her with a passion so wild and potent she felt proud to have elicited it from a man so controlled.
The Billionaire's Holiday Engagement (Invested in Love) Page 17