“You got it?” he asked.
“Yeah.” I pulled on the chord and activated the fuel inside the generator, like starting up a lawn mower. It took effect immediately and light filled the room.
Back upstairs, Dad had already retreated to his room.
“Wanna hit the hay?” I asked. The movie didn’t sound like fun anymore. I’d prefer to get to bed.
“Sounds good.”
We went to the bathroom and I retrieved a disposable toothbrush for Colten. I left him to it while I changed into pajamas in my bedroom. When he finished, I switched him spots. I took my time washing my face and brushing my teeth. My thoughts weighed the pros and cons of what could happen next.
Snuggling: it was cute and sweet and I’d be perfectly happy holding and being held, however, I’d been banking on staying at Colten’s and my body was ready for action.
Sex: I was ready to take him, I’d thought about it all day, but Dad was in the room next door and I wasn’t sure I could perform with that knowledge.
Sighing, I spit out the mouthwash and looked at my reflection in the mirror. “Here goes,” I told myself.
I pushed open my bedroom door and froze. Colten was stripped to the waist—I assumed, since the blanket covered his lower half—his brown hair spilling into the pillowcase. He looked so peaceful, so perfect. His eyes were almost somber, serious and intent on me.
Any reservations I had evaporated under his heated gaze.
I joined him on the bed, peeling off my shirt in the process. We shifted around, meeting in the middle with our bodies pressed close. His hands gently trailed along my back, tracing the ridges of my spine. My fingers slid through his strands of hair.
“Marty, if you don’t—”
I cut him off with a kiss. His response was immediate. His leg wrapped around my thigh and applied pressure while his nails scratched sensually along my lower back. Already I could feel the beginnings of his erection. Truth be told, mine was hardening quick too.
He shifted slightly downward, aligning our bodies better and I gasped into his mouth.
“Quiet,” he warned, but his eyes held laughter.
“Dad’s doped up on pain pills. Don’t worry about him.”
Colten snorted, then used his nose to nudge my chin. His lips followed, brushing my neck.
How oddly satisfying this was. My old room, where I questioned my sexuality, and my sanity, now the place where I held another man in my arms. I wished I could go back and tell my fifteen-year-old self to be patient, that everything eventually makes sense.
Colten nuzzled me again. “What are you thinkin’?”
“I want to fuck you.”
“I’d like that, Marty.”
“I got all the things we’d need.”
“Don’t need them,” Colten replied. When I started to object, he bowled right over me. “Sweetie, we’ve traded enough bodily fluids by this point it won’t make a difference. I want to feel you. Okay?”
I nodded, my mind still reeling from the pet name. Sweetie? Where the hell had that come from?
“Let me get the lube,” I said.
“No. I want something else instead.”
“Which is?” I thought of what alternatives we might have on hand. Or maybe Colten had planned ahead and brought something special.
“How’s your stamina?”
An odd question, but this was heading in an odd direction and I didn’t mind. “Pretty good. You thinking of a marathon?”
He chuckled, his body bouncing lightly in my embrace. “Something like that. You mind getting the sheets dirty?”
This was getting more intriguing by the minute. “I don’t think Dad’s going to come poking around in my room.”
His nose nudged my chin again, and I realized he was slightly embarrassed. Whatever he was asking for might be his kink, and he wanted to make sure I was okay with it.
I lowered my head and kissed the bridge of his nose, the closest thing I could reach. “Colten, whatever you want to do, I want it too. Anything.”
He tilted his face to meet mine and we kissed deeply.
“Marty,” he whispered into my lips. “I want you to come on my asshole, then fuck me. I wanna see you jack off on my body. Would you do it?”
I claimed his lips, nibbling and sucking. Then I replied, “Anything.”
The air hummed with electricity and anticipation as we quickly stripped off the rest of our clothes. The bed creaked softly as we shifted around, Colten on his back, myself on my knees between his legs. He looked amazing, spread out before me, ready to be taken. Every time our bodies met like this, it was an adventure, with new treasures to discover, new lessons to learn.
Colten drew his knees up against his chest. Even this position complimented his body, his tight abs, his muscular legs. My cock was already hard and ready, incredibly turned on by his words and the way he appeared before me.
“Please, Marty,” he called softly.
As if I needed urging.
I moved nearer so my thighs touched the back of his. My hand wrapped around my already sensitive cock and I led the tip to his ass. His body radiated with heat. My length glided around his rim and he gasped. I couldn’t wait to get inside him. My desire heightened and I tightened my grip around my shaft.
Pumping myself gently, I tore my eyes away from the beautiful sight and met his gaze. It was hungry and demanding. His sexual appetite amazed me. Or maybe it had been awhile since he had a partner. The idea of a partner, of anyone touching him, sparked a torrent of jealousy within me. I wanted him for myself.
Colten wiggled his hips, encouraging me with a little moan.
My hand sped up. I started at the base and moved up to the tip, massaging the head slightly with my thumb.
Colten sucked in a breath as he leered at my cock through his legs. His propped-up angle gave him a good view. And though I liked it when I could meet his intense stare, I also liked him watching me. His own cock was getting harder by what he saw.
“I’m gonna come,” I told him. “Pull your legs up tighter.”
He nodded and did as I asked. I placed my cock right at his entrance and pumped a few more times. The promised heat pushed me to the edge. Despite my building pleasure, I kept my aim and shot my semen all around his asshole.
He writhed below me, his hips shifting, trying to pull me inside.
After the climax sated, I took a deep breath and began to rub my cock more forcefully at his hole. My skin tingled with each point of contact, but I kept on, building up my erection again.
My stamina was good. The sight of him covered in come and begging for more had me hard in no time.
I drenched my cock in as much of my come as I could, then got ready to enter him. His hole was tight, but had no problem stretching as I forced my way in.
“God,” he groaned as I breached him. “Marty, I’m already ready.”
I chuckled, then gasped as the vibration stimulated me farther. “Fast or slow?”
His eyes met mine and his brown eyes glimmered brightly. “As fast as you can.”
“Let me show off my stamina.”
He laughed and the shake of his body was a million times more potent to my cock. I shifted which pushed me deeper inside him.
Colten bit back a cry.
I pulled out and back in a few times, getting his body and mine used to the motion.
“Faster?” he pleaded piteously.
I’d never heard that tone from anyone and it was so full of desperation and desire I felt suddenly drunk with lust. My fingers gripped his shins for balance and I rammed into him.
This time his cry was louder. I didn’t even bother shushing him. I kept moving, kept pounding as fast and hard as I could. Over and over and over.
He came suddenly, shutting his eyes and gripping the edge of the bed for purchase.
I didn’t slow. I fucked him till he could hardly draw a breath. His face scrunched up from his efforts to keep silent. God, at his house, I was going to ma
ke sure he screamed.
A second orgasm shot through me like wildfire. I buried myself as deep as I could go and shot everything inside.
Below me, Colten was whimpering. His eyes still burned with hunger, though, so I began to move again, slowly now, but with purpose. I shifted on top of him, bringing my lips to his as my body curved around him. I kept my hips thrusting soft, even strokes.
My stamina finally left me and I collapsed onto his chest. My head rose and fell with each heavy breath he took. I lazily kissed at the skin below me, tasting the salty taste of his sweat.
Gently, I freed myself from him, then snuggled in close to his side. His arm wrapped around me, patting my damp hair.
“Will you come out at Christmas?” I asked.
“So soon?”
“So far away,” I countered. Thinking of not seeing him for almost two months had my insides knotted.
He held me tighter. “Yeah. Let’s plan on it, Marty.”
I nodded, my aching heart unclenching slightly.
Chapter 21
When something dreaded lingers on the horizon, the fates converge to bring it quicker. That’s how I felt the last week in Maryland. Colten and I struggled to see each other as often as possible, every second allowed to us. I turned in a request for time off so I didn’t have work to do. After dropping Dad off in McHenry, I followed Colten around on his dad’s farm, helping out with the chores when I could.
In the evening, I’d pick Dad up, Colten would come over for dinner, we’d spend the night watching television, then go to sleep in my room. He’d get up at four in the morning, and I’d go back to sleep until it was time to take in Dad.
A whole week of endless bliss.
The day Dad’s cast came off was bitter sweet. He had the biggest smile on his face as he disappeared into the depths of the office. It was three times as large as he came lumbering out on crutches an hour later.
“Therapy three times a week,” Dad pronounced, holding up a slip of paper. “But Doc says the bone’s set fine. Good as new.”
“How long till you can walk?”
“A few weeks, maybe.” Dad waggled an eyebrow at me. “You think you can stick around until my therapy’s done?”
“Dad. My flight is tomorrow. You’ll have to figure out how to move your ankle by then or else hitchhike.”
“My leg’s looking kinda thin and sexy, don’t you think?” He lifted his injured leg a few inches and whistled at himself. “I bet I could get a ride from a trucker.”
“He may ask you to do something more up my alley.”
“On second thought, I’ll call Jessie if I can’t operate it myself.”
“Good choice.”
I forced levity and a grin as we made our way to the Tundra.
The whole day had an air of repressed solemnity. When Colten arrived, we ate dinner in near silence. We sat close on the couch, every inch possible touching.
Dad stayed in his recliner, but kept wiggling his toes.
And when it was time for bed, Colten and I held each other until we fell asleep.
The next morning, a wave of depression washed over me. I couldn’t believe how sad I was to be leaving. It wasn’t so long ago I was furious to be back here, and now I felt like I was going to be cutting off my own hand.
To my surprise, Colten was still beside me in bed. Usually he left by the time the sun was shining in my window. I kissed his bare shoulder and he stirred.
“You overslept,” I informed him.
He groaned and rolled over to face me. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me to him. “Told Dad I’d be gone today.”
“The flight’s not till tonight. You have time.”
He shook his head, his hold on me tightening. “I wanna stay with you. I can help you get packed.”
“Okay,” I replied, getting a bit choked up.
When we finally got out of bed, we had a leisurely morning. Dad made us pancakes and eggs. I could tell he was nearly as depressed as I was. Despite getting his mobility back—well, mostly back—he’d come to rely on my presence here. It would be strange for him after I left.
You can stay, the voice inside me whispered. It’d be so easy.
I silenced the voice and continued eating breakfast.
Packing took no time at all. I hardly had anything here with me. I hadn’t bought anything new. Colten folded each of my items of clothing tenderly, as if swaddling a baby, and laid them to rest in my suitcase. I’d tried to do it myself, but he shooed me away.
“Colten, if you don’t want to drive me, that’s fine. It may be too hard, for both of us.”
His eyes raised from examining one of my shirts. The deep brown of his irises looked so raw, and wounded. “It will be tough,” he agreed. “But the hardest thing will be not getting on the plane with you.” He broke our visual contact. “I can’t, Marty. I want to, but I can’t.”
“I know, Colten. You think I haven’t thought about staying here too? But I can’t either.”
“Were both adults, and yet it feels like I’m not able to make my own decisions. This is fucked up.”
“Yeah. It’s all your fault, you know.”
He raised his chin again.
I grinned at him. “If you weren’t so damn perfect, this wouldn’t be so hard.”
His lips quivered with emotion. He got to his feet and put his arms around me. I was reminded of Dad a few weeks ago when I’d come out to him. It was the same sort of hug, full of acceptance and unconditional love.
“I love you, Marty.”
“I love you, Colten. Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out.”
Chapter 22
The ride to the airport was torture. I drove Dad’s truck there and Colten planned to drive home. His truck didn’t have the Crew Cab for extra passengers, so Dad had offered his for use.
Dad prattled on endlessly in the back seat, trying to lighten the mood. He talked about what we should do for Christmas, the weather out in Phoenix compared to here, how busy the shop was starting to get with winter around the corner.
Colten clung to my hand as if he never intended to let go.
In all our time together, I never thought he’d be as torn as I was about this, thinking he might be the one to move out with me. Though not for the same reasons as me, I understood why he couldn’t relocate. He had family and a job here. He’d be lost in Arizona. Me moving here worked so much better.
Stop, I told myself. You’re thinking too much. Besides, you’ve only been dating two months. It’s too soon to be making these leaps.
I rubbed my thumb against the back of his hand.
Before I knew it, we were pulling into the airport’s departure zone. It was the quickest drive to Pittsburgh I’d ever experienced.
“We should park and walk you in,” Dad suggested.
“You can’t even walk. This is easier, Dad.”
We all got out. Dad handed me my suitcase which had been his companion in the backseat.
“Thanks.”
Dad pulled me into a hug. “I’ll miss you, kiddo. It was nice having you around. Remember, you can come and stay anytime you’d like.”
“Thanks,” I repeated into his shoulder. “Same to you. And you can call me once in a while, you know.”
“I know. Love ya.”
“I love you, Dad.”
Then he patted my shoulder and climbed into the front seat, leaving Colten and me to say our goodbyes.
We reached for each other.
“This isn’t goodbye,” I said, my voice catching. I had to clear my throat. “It’s two months. We can survive anything for two months.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, and his tone was as tormented as mine.
We held each other for a long time. I was afraid I would cease to exist if I let go.
But I did have to let go. I had a plane to catch.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” I told him as I pulled away.
He shook his head. “Call me when you get home.”
/> “It’ll be late.”
“I’ll be up.”
“Love you.”
“Love you.”
We kissed briefly, and I ran a quick hand through his hair. I turned and walked inside. At the other side of the door, I turned and waved. Then they were lost through the crowd.
I walked through security in a daze. I was surprised I didn’t get flagged for suspicious behavior, lumbering around with a half-dead glaze in my eyes. I made it through, somehow, and took the trolley that carried passengers to the terminals. People bumped me on all sides, but I hardly noticed.
Inside, I felt empty. Like a cocoon with the butterfly gone. It was out there, beautiful and stunning, and I was left behind, a discarded shell.
Chapter 23
“Welcome to Phoenix. The current time is 8:33 P.M. Passengers with a connecting flight should double check their next gate at the kiosk outside. Thank you for flying with us, and have a nice night.”
Once again, I was reluctant to get off the plane. I wanted to stay on it, fly back to Maryland. To home.
I followed the hustling and bustling passengers and eventually exited the metal container. The flight attendants smiled happily as we went.
The first thing to hit me was the heat. The tail end of October and it was still eighty degrees outside, even this late at night. Normally, this would be perfect, the kind of nights all Phoenicians dreamed of. But now, it was too hot. I wished I was bundled up in a jacket and scarf, with Colten’s warm hand in mine.
Tears threatened to fall and I took several breaths to calm myself. I pulled my phone from my pocket and texted Rick, who was waiting in the phone lot outside. I couldn’t call Colten yet. Not till I was home and able to talk. He’d have to wait a while longer.
I made my way downstairs to the baggage check and claimed my suitcase. Then I headed out the south doors to where Rick and I had agreed to meet. I didn’t wait long. Nearly nine o’clock on a Tuesday night, this place was flowing well. Traffic—pedestrian and automotive—went along at a steady pace.
Rick’s Honda Civic pulled up along the edge of the street. His smiling face peered out at me through the windshield and Sammy sat patiently on his lap. Of course he’d bring the dog.
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