by E M Lindsey
“I’m really sorry about this. Jesus. I don’t think I’ll be able to make it tonight, and I feel awful.”
Adrian shook his head as he extended his hand and gently eased Noah to his feet. He was unsteady, but having Adrian’s large, strong body pressed against his side was a god-send. He wrapped his arm around Adrian’s waist and they began the slow stroll toward the parking lot.
“I can’t cancel my private session tonight,” he told Noah quietly as they pushed through throngs of students, “but what if I grab dinner when I’m done and take it back to yours? I mean, if you’re up for it, I really want to see you.”
Noah swore he could fly in that moment, which was absurd. He was a grown man with a Ph.D. and here he was acting like a fifteen-year-old getting asked to the prom. It was just dinner and an admission that Adrian didn’t mind his company, not a damn marriage proposal. And yet, he couldn’t stop smiling. “I would love that.”
Some tension drained out of Adrian’s body, the muscles under Noah’s hand going slightly more lax. Neither of them said anything else as they walked to a sleek, black car which Adrian unlocked with the push of a button.
“I thought you drove a trike?” Noah asked, easing into the seat. He startled when Lemon shoved her head between the seats and gave him a lick on the cheek.
Adrian laughed. “I do, but I wasn’t sure that was the best way to get you home if your head was spinning. Plus, I thought Lemon might help.”
“She does,” Noah said, and turned his head so he could look at Adrian properly as he ran his fingers through Lemon’s soft fur. Adrian had been right, he was almost immediately soothed by her. “But I do want a ride on it someday.”
“I can make that happen,” Adrian promised, then put the car into gear and started on the short drive to get Noah home.
***
Adrian stripped his gloves off, touching his aching jaw where it was stretched with his grin. It had been a fairly massive triumph for Cole to get that hit in. The guy was fighting totally blind, having lost both eyes to an infection after a chemical explosion on his last deployment with the British Royal Army. He’d come to the States for treatment, and had been cleared from rehab for nearly six months now and had happened upon Baum’s on a friend’s recommendation. Wes was a little hesitant about training the guy—he didn’t have experience with visual impairments like that and never a completely blind person. He hadn’t been wrong when he was giving Adrian shit about him not working there, but he also didn’t push back when Adrian volunteered to take up the guy’s training.
It had been six weeks, two nights per week, and Cole finally got the better of him. “Alright, mate?” Cole asked, sitting on the edge of the ring to strip off his wraps.
Adrian lowered himself down next to the guy and nudged him. “Not bad. That’s going to leave a decent mark.”
“Am I meant to apologize?” Cole asked with a half-grin.
Adrian snorted. “I’ll let you figure that one out on your own. Anyway, I’d love to stay and chat, but I actually have somewhere to be.”
“Yeah, you seemed a little distracted, and I was pretty sure I overheard Wes talking about you getting your dick wet tonight,” Cole said. He pushed himself off the ring and to the floor, then made a clicking noise, calling his guide dog over.
Adrian groaned as he reached for his braces. “Wes needs to keep his fucking mouth shut.”
“It’s true, then?” Cole turned toward him with a wide grin. He didn’t wear prosthetics since his sockets were still dealing with flare-up infections from the work that needed to be done, but he still gave Adrian the impression he was giving him a wide-eyed, innocent guy stare.
“Not that it’s anyone’s fucking business around here,” Adrian said, raising his voice because he knew Wes was probably listening in, “but yes, I have a date. Actually, you probably would have met him tonight. He takes Anna’s class, but he had to cancel last minute.”
“Maybe next time?” Cole chanced.
Adrian bristled for a second. He wasn’t used to people wanting to be friendly with him outside of the ring, or outside of his team back when he had one. But the guys at Baum’s were different. They retained that military loyalty to each other, but with something a little deeper. They understood one another, understood the struggle and the pain and the adjustment to a new normal. They didn’t really get along with the other patrons, but vets like him? It was almost a given.
Adrian didn’t have a lot of room for new people, but he liked Cole all the same. “I’m sure he’ll be around. I’ll see if I can get him to come in Tuesday.” He gave the guy a clap on the shoulder, then grabbed his cane and headed out.
It was the simple fact that he cared what Noah thought which had him under a quick spray of a shower—scrub down and rinse off—then he tapped an order on his app to pick up before grabbing Lemon from Wes’ office and heading for his car. He contemplated dropping Lemon off at home and taking the trike on the off-chance Noah would be feeling up for a ride later, but he figured something during the day—when it was warm and sunny, and they could appreciate a nice view—would be a better intro to the open road.
The rich smells of curry filled his car on the short drive over to Noah’s building. He found street parking not far off, and though it wasn’t often he did it, he thanked his disabled parking tag that allowed him to stay close. The building was locked, so he buzzed the door and Noah wasted no time letting him in.
He took the elevator up, and he couldn’t suppress a grin when he saw Noah waiting for him in the doorway, one shoulder braced on the frame. “I thought you’d be later.”
“Sorry if I’m interrupting,” Adrian began.
Noah rolled his eyes playfully, grabbing Adrian by the front of his shirt to drag him in. “I was getting lonely. And hungry. What did you get?”
“Tikka masala, some chana, roti,” Adrian said absently, his gaze focused on Noah’s bottom lip which was a little shiny from being bitten, and just the faintest bit swollen. He swallowed back his desire to drop the food, grab the other man by his front, and kiss him.
“That sounds amazing. I got a decent nap in and that seemed to help.” He took the bags from Adrian’s hand, and before Adrian could protest, put his hand there instead. It was impossible to complain about that.
They headed into Noah’s living room and Adrian got his first real look around. Earlier that day, he’d dropped Noah off at the door, then had to dash to make it back to the garage to finish up on his work for the day. Now he was able to take it in, and he was struck by just how Noah it was.
And he was struck by how he was able to recognize it.
Noah had four black metal bookshelves, two on either side of a large window, and both were crammed full. Most of them looked like old library editions, though Adrian could tell a good portion were textbooks from past semesters. There were photos in little frames stuck to the sides with magnets, but he wasn’t close enough to get a good look at the people in them.
On the far wall was the sofa, over-stuffed and an almost corduroy-like fabric—straight out of the seventies but looked more than comfortable. The table in front of it was laden with what looked like work, stacks of paper, an open laptop, and a really thick binder-like book off to the side with blank sheets.
“We can sit here. I’ll just move all my crap,” Noah said, shutting his laptop and shuffling his papers off to the side. “Do you want me to get a blanket for Lemon to lay on?”
He shook his head with a smile and gave Lemon the lay-down gesture. She complied and curled up on the floor near the far end of the sofa. Adrian hooked his cane along the back of the cushions before he sat, and he peered down at his stuff. “Man, this semester has you drowning or what?”
Noah laughed. “No, no. This is mostly a side project. I mean, I have this study guide to finish up for finals—I wanted to get a jump on it before things got too crazy, and there was a quiz in my Greek class which I have to deal with the aftermath—it’s middle-passive verbs which I
think are intimidating only until everyone realizes we still have aorist and plu-perfect to cover, which means fourth and fifth principal parts, and that’s when the breakdowns begin.”
“Okay I literally understood about ten percent of what you just said,” Adrian admitted.
Noah laughed. “Sorry, I get a little nerdy about this stuff. And I’ve been eyeballs deep in academia for long enough today, I’d kind of like to forget.”
Adrian grinned as he started to unpack the food. “Fair enough. Talk to me about your hobby?”
To his surprise, Noah flushed and glanced away. “It’s stupid.”
“I have a hard time believing that,” Adrian said.
With a shrug, Noah ripped a corner of his roti and nibbled the bits of garlic baked on the top. “It’s just…right after I got fitted for my prosthetic,” he tapped the side of his eye, “the prosthetist made this comment about how I needed to take extra care of my sighted eye because I didn’t have a backup any longer. I had panic attacks for three weeks straight—I wanted to wear protective lenses, didn’t want to leave my house. It took me about six months before I was able to ride in a car again.” He ripped more roti off and stuffed some into his mouth, chewing a moment before he went on. “Then I decided to stop being so worked up over a hypothetical, but the only way I could do it was by taking precautions.”
Adrian frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m not totally blind. I don’t need a cane most of the time, and I can still see just fine with my glasses. But I now know for a fact anything can happen, and I wasn’t prepared for this,” he tapped his eye again. “But I could be prepared for losing my vision totally.”
“So…”
“So I’m learning braille,” he finally said with a shrug. He fell quiet a moment as he reached for one of the containers of the curry dish and rice, and he stirred them together with his fork. After taking a bite, he sighed and said, “I’ve done cane training and I’m learning braille, and I mean, I’m not living like I will lose the rest of my vision someday, but I’m allowing myself to accept the possibility of it happening. Crazy, right?”
“I don’t think it’s crazy,” Adrian said softly, after a long pause as he considered what Noah was saying.
“I know you can’t actually prepare for something like that, but at least I’ll have coping skills if it does go that way, right? That’s…it’s how I deal with my anxiety.”
“I don’t think it’s crazy,” Adrian said again. “I think it makes a lot of sense for someone who has already been through trauma and loss.”
Noah’s mouth quirked into a half smile. “Thanks. I can’t tell you what it means that you get it. My friends try to understand, but they think I’m over compensating and they get a little annoyed with me sometimes. I love them, but…”
Adrian laughed quietly as he took up his own dish of food. “No, I get it. Like the guys at my garage? They’re great. Loyal dudes, always have my back. But they don’t entirely understand what it’s like to live with this. Not just my legs,” he said, biting his lip for a second. “All the shit in my head. They think it’s going to get better, that one day I won’t be overwhelmed by all the noise and chaos on busy days. I don’t have to deal with that at Baum’s, and it feels safe.”
Noah’s half-smile quirked into a full grin. “How did your session go?”
“Oh,” Adrian said and huffed a little, hiding his own grin back. “Actually, it went well. I’ve been working with this guy for a while—he’s totally blind, coincidentally.”
Noah’s cheeks pinked a little. “Yeah? And he’s boxing?”
“Damn good at it. Clocked me good tonight.” Adrian turned his face fully so Noah had a full view of his blossoming bruise. “I was proud of him. I don’t know when or if he’ll be ready to face anyone in competition, but he’s quick and he’s really learning to hone vibration and sound. Helps that I’m slow as fuck on my feet, but I’m willing to bet he’d make a good match for Anna one of these days.”
“That’s,” Noah said, then stopped and laughed. “I don’t think I’ll ever be at a level where I could match Anna.”
Adrian couldn’t help a tiny grin as he reached for Noah’s hand. Their fingers linked, and he rubbed his thumb over the side of Noah’s wrist. “Do you want to get into that kind of shape? Because you know I could help you.”
“That would mean going rounds with you, wouldn’t it?” Noah said, then took a breath and put on a very brave face as he leaned in and said in a very low tone, “I think I’d rather take a very different sort of pounding from you.”
Adrian’s moan ripped from his chest before he could stop it, and he curled his hand around Noah’s wrist, tugging him fully into his lap. “You can’t just say things like that and not expect me to do this.” With that, he dragged his hands down, cupping Noah’s ass as the other man straddled his thighs.
Noah bit his lip and looked right into his eyes. “I didn’t.”
Adrian couldn’t do anything else besides kiss him. It was messy, rougher than the night before, demanding with a wet, hot tongue and biting lips. One hand drifted from Noah’s ass to his hair, fingers digging into those curls Adrian loved to feel so much, and he tugged just a little. Noah gasped, the bulge in the front of his joggers getting even harder, and he ground down against Adrian’s matching erection.
“I want you so fucking much,” Adrian groaned against Noah’s lips.
“You’ve got me,” Noah said, like a promise Adrian hadn’t been prepared to hear. “You’ve got me, and I want everything with you. But first…” He managed to disengage himself from Adrian’s hands, though Adrian struggled to let him go, but he didn’t go far. Instead, he crouched between the V in Adrian’s thighs, using a firm grip to spread his legs even wider. “Okay?” he asked, looking up into Adrian’s flushed face.
Adrian licked his lips, then nodded, not capable of speech right then. He knew what was coming and the anticipation was making his head spin. As Noah’s hands crept to his waistband, Adrian’s hand cupped his cheek, thumb grazing Noah’s plush bottom lip. God, those lips were going to look so fucking good wrapped around him, stretched around his cock, cheeks swollen with the girth of him. Adrian couldn’t help a small thrust as Noah finally worked his bottoms and boxers down toward his thighs, then pooling at his calves.
Noah’s hands were warm and so fucking soft as they brushed up the fine hair over Adrian’s legs. The scar tissue was sensitive and went right to his dick, a sharp contrast between pain and pleasure that he wasn’t sure he wanted more or less of. But he didn’t have time to consider it. Not when Noah reached into his pocket, pulled out a condom, and ripped the packet with his teeth.
“I want to do this bare soon. Soon as we can be certain it’s safe,” he murmured. He gripped the base of Adrian’s dick in a firm hold, giving him a couple experimental strokes. Adrian’s head fell back, eyes rolling upward, and he let out a ragged sigh at the thought of doing this without any barriers between them. It was too early now, too soon, not enough definition of what this was between them, but there was a promise on the horizon and for now, that was enough.
“Please,” Adrian managed to choke out.
Noah wasted no more time rolling the condom on, following the downward slide of his hand with his mouth. Wet-hot heat enveloped him, and Adrian almost spilled right then. It had been too long since someone he connected with had touched him like this. It had been a long time since Adrian felt wanted as a whole, and not out of pity, or in spite of the way he’d come back. Noah made him feel like a person, like the man he’d been before his life was irrevocably changed, and he knew he couldn’t squander it.
He knew he’d be willing to make promises and carve out pieces of him just to keep it.
Blowing out a fresh puff of air, trying to retain some control, Adrian lifted his head and forced himself to look down. Noah was going at him with vigor, with his eyes squeezed shut and a look of pleasure on his face like he was the one being sucked off. Hi
s lips stretched so prettily over Adrian’s length, red and a little wet. Spit gathered in the corners of his mouth, and Adrian brushed his thumb through it before rubbing it in a circle around Noah’s tight lips.
Noah moaned and Adrian thrust himself upward without thinking. When Noah made a slight choking noise, Adrian cupped his cheek in apology, but almost lost his head again when he felt the bulge of himself in Noah’s mouth against his palm. He swallowed thickly. “I’m not going to last, baby. Fuck, I’m going to blow in seconds. You’re so fucking good, your fucking mouth…” His rambling died off as he began shallow thrusting, chasing the warm, intense build making his balls draw up tight and his face flush red-hot.
Noah used one hand to stroke at the base of his cock where his mouth couldn’t reach, the other slipping behind his balls to play with his taint. It was all Adrian needed to let go, to spill into the condom. Somewhere in the back of his head he realized that sometime—maybe soon—he’d be able to spill it all straight into Noah’s mouth, watch him swallow it down. The abstract thought penetrated his lusty haze and his dick gave one last valiant twitch to empty what remained in his balls.
When Noah sat up, he was panting, pink in the cheeks as he rubbed at his jaw. “Fuck, you are so hot.”
Adrian started to gather himself, pulling Noah into his arms. His hand went for Noah’s own erection, expecting to find a bulge there to take care of, only he found Noah’s soft dick and a wet spot. “Holy shit, did you…?”
“Like I said,” Noah murmured, pressing a kiss to the scarred side of Adrian’s neck, “you are so hot.”
***
It wasn’t the first time Noah had lost control like that, but before it had been a matter of youth, inexperience, and anticipation. With Adrian, it was different. He’d breezed into the apartment freshly showered from the gym, the sleeveless shirt showing off his muscles which hadn’t yet relaxed from his boxing session. There were flecks of motorcycle grease under his nails, and there was lust in his eyes like he wanted to devour Noah right where he sat.