by E M Lindsey
For whatever reason, Adrian didn’t believe him. “Thank you,” he said anyway. Then to be polite he said, “Where do you teach?”
“Oh, I’m in the Classics department,” Dr. Barnes said, and Adrian’s eyes widened at the thought of this ass teaching Noah. “In fact, I think that’s where I’ve seen you before.”
Before Adrian could ask, the doors opened and Dr. Barnes headed out, making a bee-line for a door at the far end. It took Adrian a moment to catch up with him, and Dr. Barnes came to a stop outside of a door with a small plaque reading Meeting Room 504.
“Are you taking Classical Greek?” he asked.
Adrian blinked. “Sorry, no. I took Spanish for my language, but I finished that a few semesters ago.”
Dr. Barnes shook his head. “It’s only, I know I’ve seen you around with Dr. Avidan, so I just assumed.”
It was like someone had thrown freezing water over Adrian’s head and it took him a moment to shake free of the shock. “I’m…sorry. Dr. Avidan? You mean Noah Avidan?”
Dr. Barnes’ lips stretched into a smile which might have been friendly on anyone else, but on him looked sinister and Adrian’s knuckles suddenly itched to connect with the man’s face. “Yes. Dr. Noah Avidan. I thought I saw you two together the other night.”
Adrian swallowed thickly, realizing now what was happening, and his head threatened to spin right off his neck. Luckily, he’d always been a quick thinker, no matter how much a situation had knocked him off guard. It’s what made him so effective as a lieutenant, and what made him a damn good boxer, even with legs that didn’t always cooperate. “He offered to assist me in writing the proposal. We met at my brother in law’s boxing studio where he’s taking lessons.”
That seemed to throw him off. “Oh. He’s…boxing?”
Adrian let himself smile, even as waves of fear and betrayal coursed through him. Noah was a professor. A professor? A fucking university professor with a doctorate. “My brother-in-law’s place specializes in people who need accommodations. It’s mostly ex-military like myself, but it works well for people like No—Dr. Avidan,” he corrected, even if it killed him to do it, “who have balance issues and visual impairments. One of my strongest students is totally blind and I feel for anyone who goes up against him.”
“Oh. You’re an instructor there?” The guy seemed a little off kilter for the first time as he gazed down at Adrian’s legs again, which gave Adrian a little wave of pleasure.
“Like I said, my brother-in-law is really good at what he does. Then again, I was a marine for nearly a decade. It would take more than a few damaged nerves to take me down. Anyway, I should probably get this inside before I’m late.”
“Right,” Dr. Barnes said, his arrogance rising again. “You have class, of course. I wouldn’t want to keep you.”
***
Noah closed out his IM and sat back, scrubbing at his face. He was deliciously sore, just like he’d begged Adrian for in bed, and he loved it. It had been way too long since he’d been uncomfortable sitting in a chair, and knowing it was the man he was head-over-heels for who had given it to him made it even better.
Sabrina and Esther had both seen right through him and had been giving him endless shit, but he didn’t much care. The semester was crawling to an end, Charlie had finally backed off, and even Lowe hadn’t said much. He had classes that afternoon, then he would be spending the rest of the week finishing up writing his finals. Then there was a long stretch of vacation in front of him—one which he planned to spend as much time as he could between the sheets with a hot, muscular body wrapped around him, and a thick cock deep inside his…
His head snapped up when he heard familiar sounds. A soft clinking nose, and a dull thud he couldn’t mistake. His heart raced just a little as his eyes fixed on his office door. Then, as if by his own will alone, Adrian appeared. He looked as gorgeous as he ever did, dressed in a tight Henley and form-fitting jeans. He was wearing his crutches which meant last night had taken a toll on him too, and he felt a momentary wash of guilt.
It was replaced with concern though, only second later, because Adrian didn’t look pleased to see him. His face was pale, his cheeks mottled with deep color, and his mouth was drawn in a thin line as he crossed the threshold of the office door.
“You’re a professor,” he ground out. His hands on his crutch handles were so tense, his knuckles had gone yellow-white and Noah could make out the flecks of motorcycle grease staining them. “You’re a fucking…” In the midst of Noah’s utter confusion, Adrian stopped himself, turned, then swung the door shut with the tip of his crutch. It shut with a purposeful click, and then Adrian abandoned the crutches in favor of bracing his hands on the top of Noah’s desk and leaning forward toward him. “You’re. A fucking. Professor.”
Noah blinked, pushing his chair back slightly. “Uh. Is this a joke or…”
“Does it fucking look like I’m joking, Professor Avidan?” Adrian hissed through clenched teeth.
Noah had never seen him like this before and a small spike of fear raced up his back. He gripped the arms of his chair and pushed to his feet. “Adrian, what are you freaking out about? You knew I worked here.”
“You’re not a student,” was all Adrian said, his tone completely flat.
It took only a moment to hit him, really, because Noah’s brain was a little slower than it used to be, but not by that much. His knees went weak and he sank back down as he felt all the blood drain from his face. “Oh my god,” he whispered. “Oh my g-god, no.”
Adrian licked his lips, then leaned back, groping for the guest chair behind him. He fell down with a heavy thud and looked at Noah with shattered eyes. “You’re a professor.”
“And you’re a st-student,” Noah countered. He shook his head, swallowing thickly. “You’re…how the hell is that puh-p-possible? Your sister told me you w-worked here!”
Adrian’s hand slapped on the desk, making Noah jump. “There’s no fucking way she told you I was a professor! I work at a garage, I’m barely four years cognizant enough after the explosion to actually get a degree!”
“She did,” Noah started to argue, but against his will, the memory came flooding back to him.
‘I’m at the University.’
‘Oh shit, Adrian too.’
What a fool he’d been. He hadn’t been clear at all with her, and he knew he looked young, he knew people always assumed he was a student. He just didn’t think… “This is all my f-fault,” he said, his voice cracking. “I juh-j-just assumed, and we nuh-n-never…fuck, we n-never really talked about anything p-personal. I am such a f-fucking idiot.” He covered his face and heard Adrian make a soft noise.
“It wasn’t all you. At the end of the day, neither one of us really wanted to talk about whatever was stressing us out. I assumed you were…god, at worst a grad student. I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have ever…”
Noah dropped his hands and forced himself to look at Adrian. “P-please don’t say that. Fuck, please d-don’t…” His heart felt like it was being ripped out of his chest. He couldn’t stand the thought of Adrian walking away, of all of this falling apart when he was finally feeling wanted, and needed, and happy.
Adrian swallowed thickly, looking just as wrecked as Noah felt. He scrubbed both hands over his face, then dragged them into his hair and let out a shuddering breath. “A bunch of professors were just fired for doing what we’re doing.”
Noah opened his mouth to argue, to say their situation was different, that it wasn’t anything like this, but he forced himself to hold his tongue. Yes, most of the people who were fired were dating their own students—decades younger, using their privilege and power to entice impressionable young minds into entering something they were unprepared for. What Noah and Adrian had wasn’t that. Noah had no influence over Adrian’s future as a student. Adrian was two years older than he was, for fuck’s sake, and they hadn’t even met on campus.
And yet, the circumstances couldn’t be chang
ed. There was no grey area when it came to something like this.
Noah licked his lips and did everything in his power to keep his speech measured. “How did you figure it out?” Because god, how had he missed the signs? How much longer before he would have realized Adrian wasn’t teaching there?
“I met a friend of yours,” Adrian said, and his tone, if possible, sounded even more bitter. “Dr. Barnes.”
Noah nearly choked on his own tongue. “Oh g-god. Charlie?”
Adrian blinked at him. “That’s the asshole who was giving you shit after your break-up? The one who wouldn’t stop asking you out?” He let out a bitter laugh and shook his head. “I really should have punched him.” After a beat, taking a few deep breaths, Adrian looked up at him again. “Anna was helping me carry the model for my proposal. I have a meeting at three to give my presentation for the building upgrades. He was there in the lobby and offered to walk me up. He said he’s been sitting in on the meetings in place of Dr. Agarwal.” Adrian stopped abruptly and then gave another frustrated laugh. “Shit. Shit, he very obviously knows who I am and what we’re doing.”
Noah wanted to assure him that Charlie would never use his position to do anything like that, but he couldn’t because he wasn’t sure that was true. Charlie was arrogant and persistent, and Noah had a feeling he’d use whatever advantages he could to ensure Noah was single again.
“So, he confronted you?” Noah pressed.
Adrian shook his head. “Not directly, no. But he made it a point to use your title, Dr. Avidan. Asked if we were friends. I told him we met at Baum’s where you were taking kickboxing and left it at that. I didn’t give anything away, but he knows. Shit, Noah. He knows. I’m going to lose everything, aren’t I? And you’re going to get fired, and we’ll both be…”
“Stop,” Noah said quietly, holding up his hand. “No one has proof of anything right now. We’ve never used our university emails to speak with each other, and you’re not in any of my classes so no one can do anything to prove I’ve used my power to influence your grades in any way. Charlie has his word and whatever stupid fucking vendetta he has because I won’t go out with him.”
“He was two words away from getting a fucking rabbit punch and being left unconscious on the floor,” Adrian all-but growled.
It was inappropriate timing, but Noah felt a small twitch in his groin not only at the sound of Adrian’s low voice, but at how protective he was still. Even after all this. But it was only a moment, because the weight of it all crashed down on him and he knew they couldn’t carry on like this. Charlie would be watching him like a hawk, and it would only take one slip-up.
“What are we going to do?” Adrian asked softly.
Noah swallowed thickly. “I d-don’t…”
“We have to end it,” Adrian cut in, and he shook his head, looking gutted. “Noah, I can’t lose this. I’m so fucking close and I’ve worked so fucking hard. And I couldn’t live with myself if I ruined your entire career, either.”
Noah wanted to beg him not to go there, to say he’d throw himself on the sword, to take the fall because the risk was worth it. But it wasn’t just about him, and he couldn’t afford to set his entire future ablaze for something so new and fragile.
“What year are you?” he asked, feeling like the world’s worst person that he didn’t even know.
“I’ve got one semester left,” Adrian told him. “Then I graduate.”
Noah licked his lips. “Okay. Okay so…that’s just a few months.”
Adrian blinked at him, his mouth working like he meant to say something, but no sound came out. Noah’s heart was beating so rapidly, he could feel it in his fingertips, in his temples, in his throat. All he wanted in the world was to reach across the desk, pull Adrian into his arms, and hold him there until Adrian said he wanted this just as much. But there was something playing in the other man’s eyes that said it wouldn’t be that easy.
“Noah,” he said softly, shaking his head.
Noah felt his heart threaten to crack. “Please,” he whispered. “Please d-do not give up on this yet.”
“I don’t want to. Shit, Noah…” He pressed his hand over his face and let out a shaking breath. “How the hell can we do this? It might already be too late.”
“It isn’t,” Noah said, mostly because he would do everything in his power to protect Adrian from retribution, and he would be taking care of this, doing damage control as quickly as he could. “Please j-just…don’t make any rash d-decisions.”
Adrian bit his lip, then glanced behind him. “Coming here was a mistake. Fuck, Noah. What if he sees me coming out of here? That’s only going to confirm what he thinks he knows.”
“He won’t see you,” Noah said firmly. “I’m going to head t-to his office and if he’s there, I’ll take him out and s-see how I can head this off. I’ll send you an all c-clear, and we can meet later, okay? We can figure this out.”
Adrian licked his lips, then finally—finally—gave a nod. “Okay.”
It wasn’t everything Noah needed to hear, but it wasn’t nothing. It was a promise that they could try, that he wasn’t about to lose the first good thing that had happened to him in a long, long time.
11.
True to his word, Noah managed to get Adrian’s escape without incident. The text told him Dr. Barnes was out for the day—Noah confirmed he wasn’t sitting in the proposal meetings anymore and had left campus. It didn’t help Adrian feel any better, but he was able to make a hasty retreat without being noticed and further incriminating himself.
His head was still reeling from Barnes’ reveal about Noah. He wanted to be angry, wanted to blame Noah for not telling him, but it was just as much his own fault for keeping tight-lipped on his life. And Noah had been protecting himself, too. He suffered just as much as Adrian had post-accident which had irrevocably changed his life, and he didn’t blame the man for withholding personal details. They’d only been dating a few weeks as it was, and logically he shouldn’t be hurting this much over something that was barely a blip on his own timeline.
And yet. And yet, the thought of never seeing Noah again, of ending this for good, felt like he was ripping his own heart out and setting it on fire. How was it possible that just hours before, he was inside Noah, wrapped around him, pushing into him and feeling more connected to a person than he ever had in his life? He’d been thinking that four letter word, his tongue curling toward the front of his teeth aching to say it as he held Noah’s body against his. As Wes liked to brag to him, when you knew, you knew. And Adrian swore he knew.
But how was he going to reconcile this? How could they make it work? Yes, it was only a few months and if they had to hit the brakes, he could do that. He’d waited a lot longer for a lot less and Noah was worth it. But if they picked up where they left off the moment he graduated, it could arouse suspicion. This Charlie guy was clearly vindictive—there had been a manic, cruel glint in his eye when he revealed the truth about Noah. He was trying to hurt them both, which meant if they got together and Charlie noticed, they could be investigated. Noah’s job would still be in jeopardy, even if Adrian got away with it.
He couldn’t profess to care that much about a person and put them at risk like that. But the way Noah had begged him? It had taken every ounce of Adrian’s self-restraint, and then some, to keep from not launching himself over the desk and pulling Noah into his arms.
Without really being aware of it, Adrian had his phone out and was dialing his sister. He’d already missed his first class and it was creeping toward his second, and he knew he wasn’t going to make it. He was hard-pressed to care, really.
“Hey, don’t you have class?” Anna said by way of answer.
“Where are you right now?” His chest was tight, and he started to feel far off, dissociation creeping up on him. His hands tingled and he gripped his phone hard enough to feel the bite against his palm.
“Uh, Wes and I were taking Maggie to get some pizza, why?”
Adrian gnawed on his lip, then checked his watch. It was barely noon, which meant he had three hours before his proposal and he couldn’t miss that, but he wasn’t going to be able to be productive with anything else that day. “Can I meet you? Things just went to shit, and I need…something.”
“Of course,” Anna said in a rush. “We’re actually not far, we’re going to that little place over on sixth? You know, right next to the Children’s Museum? Adrian, are you okay?”
“I’ll be there,” Adrian said, not answering her last question. “Bring Lemon. See you.” He shoved his phone into his pocket and limped his way toward the motorcycle parking.
Adrian pulled into the parking lot of the pizza place and saw his family in the window. Anna was in a booth next to Wes, and Maggie was across from them, bouncing a little on the seat. Adrian allowed himself a small smile, a second to forget all the other shit and just be grateful he still had this. It was the one thing that got him through recovery—knowing he had people he desperately loved to come home to. For a short while, Noah had started to feel like he was being lumped in with them—but now…
He let himself in and nodded to the hostess before heading for their table. Maggie gave an excited yell and shifted over to make room for her uncle as Adrian set his crutches under the table and eased himself down. He almost sobbed with relief when Lemon’s head popped up from under the table, and she wedged herself between his legs as his hands buried in her coat. His head tipped forward and he felt like he could breathe for the first time in hours.
“God, you look like shit,” Wes told him pointedly.
Maggie gave him an offended look. “Daddeeee, bad word!”
Wes rolled his eyes then dug a handful of coins out of his pocket. “Want to go play on the dance machine?”
She shrieked and leapt over her uncle, taking the coins and walking a few feet away to the busted but brightly lit Dance Dance Revolution machine the restaurant kept around for some reason. Adrian had a perfect view of her which let him both relax and turn some of his attention on his sister and brother-in-law.