by Amy Brent
Chanise stopped by her desk and grabbed the box of tissues, then brought them over to Jake. He looked up at her with a weak smile. “Thanks,” he said, taking one and wiping his face with it. “You must think I'm a real loser, huh? Always coming in here and crying like this.”
“I don't think crying makes you a loser.”
“Well, most men don't cry.” He shrugged, setting his jaw determinedly.
Chanise crossed her arms. She looked up at him, her lips pursed together in a humorous smile. “Oh, really? Well, I'll have you know that plenty of good men I know are men who cry. There's nothing wrong with that.”
“That's not how I was raised,” Jake said. “My dad always told me that boys don't cry. You need to tough it out. Shake it off. When you get hurt, you get up and keep pushing on through.”
Chanise snorted. “That sounds like a destructive attitude. There's nothing wrong with taking comfort when you need it.”
“Maybe if you're weak.”
Chanise dropped her arms to her sides, the amusement vanishing from her face. “See, that's so typical. You think crying is weak because it's what women do. Are you telling me you think women are weak?”
“No, not at all.” Jake forced a grin, though there was still a strain on his eyes. “You don't seem weak at all.”
“You can bet your white ass I ain't weak. I'm stronger than you.”
“Oh really?” Jake leaned against the doorframe, his grin widening, and his eyes starting to light up. “You think you could take me?”
“Typical man,” Chanise said. “You only equate strength with physical strength. I'm talking about emotional strength. If you're too afraid to cry, then that shows that I'm stronger than you, because I'm not ashamed of my emotions.”
He laughed and shook his head. “Wow. You sound just like Dr. Johnson. He keeps telling me I need to stop being scared to face my emotions. That's kind of why I'm such a mess right now.” He looked down at his feet, blushing a little.
A little smile touched the corner of Chanise's mouth. “Well, you should listen to him. He's a wise man.”
Jake nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, he definitely is.”
Chanise sighed and shook her head. “Well, you have yourself a good day, Mr. Stone. I'll see you next Thursday.”
“Maybe we could see each other before then.”
Chanise paused, looking up at Jake. He looked her right in the eye, his gaze steady. “Excuse me?” she asked.
“You and me,” he said, smirking. “Maybe we could see each other sometime. Outside of this place, I mean.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Mr. Stone, are you asking me out on a date?”
“It's Jake. And yes, yes I am.”
“I don't think that would be a good idea.”
“Why not? What, are you afraid?” He crossed his arms and grinned, staring her down, a challenging look in his eyes.
“Oh, no. I'm not afraid.”
“Yes you are,” he said. “You're afraid that if you go out with me, you might wind up liking me.”
She snorted. “Is that what you think?”
“I know it. So come on, Chanise. What do you say? Or can you not face your own fears?”
She held his gaze for a long moment. She felt cornered. She didn't want to admit it, but she knew deep down that she was scared. She had been scared of dating for a long time. Ever since her husband died before Deena was born. Jake wasn't the first man she'd mouthed off to, knocking his ego out from under him when he thought he was all that. Her father had told her it was a defense
mechanism. A way for her to avoid letting someone get too close. To avoid letting someone have any power over her. She hated it when he analyzed her the way he did his patients, but she had to admit that maybe he had been right.
“Just coffee,” Jake said, his expression turning more serious. He reached out and took her hand in his, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze. “There's no harm in that, right?”
She pursed her lips, thinking it over. “I suppose there's no harm in coffee.”
“Great,” he said. “How about you give me your number? Are you busy tomorrow?”
She wasn't busy, though she knew she'd need to find someone to watch Deena if she went out on a date. Though her dad would probably be able to watch her. “I guess tomorrow works,” she said.
“Great. That's great.”
She gave him her number, fighting against the fear that it was a bad idea. Especially considering what a braggart Jake had been when they first met, and how domineering he could come off at times. On the other hand, she had seen his soft side. And she had to admit that maybe she liked that side of him.
Jake tucked the paper with her number on it into his pocket. “Awesome. I'll give you a call tomorrow, say, after lunch?”
“That works.”
“Great.” He reached out and gave her hand another squeeze, and then headed out the door.
Chanise followed him into the waiting room. Deena was still there, coloring. Jake waved to Deena on his way out the door, and Deena waved back.
Chanise crouched down next to the table. “What do you think of Jake, sweetie?”
“He's okay,” Deena said, shrugging.
“Just okay?”
“Uh-huh.” Deena kept her attention focused on her coloring, seeming uninterested in her mother's potential love life.
Though Chanise had to wonder, assuming the coffee date went anywhere, how it might affect Deena. Chanise hadn't dated since Deena's father died. She wasn't sure if she was ready for it, or whether her daughter was ready for it.
Though it was just coffee, she told herself. There was no harm in that.
* * *
Chanise dropped Deena off at her father's house about an hour before her coffee date with Jake. After they got Deena settled in the living room with a Disney video, Chanise's father asked, “So, where did you meet this young man you're going out with?”
Chanise felt her face heating up. She hadn't told her father who she was seeing, only that she had a date. For one thing, she didn't want to see what her father would say about her dating a patient. For another, there was the potential conflict of interest. She wasn't sure if it would technically be against the rules for her to date one of her father's patients, but at the very least, her father would probably insist on sending Jake to see another counselor. She didn't want to let that happen. Not when Jake seemed to be making so much progress. Starting over with a new counselor could be like setting him back to square one, especially if the new counselor had a very different technique and view of the human mind.
“He's just someone I ran into,” Chanise said. “We started talking, and he asked me out.”
“Someone you ran into?” Her father frowned, folding his arms across his chest. “Do you know anything about this man? I don't know how I feel about you going out for coffee with a complete stranger.”
“He's not a stranger, Dad. Besides, I'm not a teenager anymore. I can make my own decisions about who I'm going to date, thank you very much.”
Her father huffed and shook his head, but he didn't protest any further. “Well, I suppose you are all grown up now. Though I don't think I'll ever approve of anyone as much as I did Tyrone.”
Chanise sighed, her thoughts drifting to her deceased husband. He had been a good man. And he would have been a great father, she was sure if he had lived to see his daughter grow up. “I'll be fine, Dad. It's just coffee.”
“All right. Well, you give me a call if you're going to be out late.”
“Dad!”
“I'm not trying to check up on you,” he said. He gestured to Deena in the living room. “But I need to know how long I'll be watching the little one. You know how she gets sometimes when you're running late.”
“I know.”
Chanise gave her father a hug, then said goodbye to Deena, before heading out the door. She drove down to the coffee shop she had chosen. It was a small place, not far from home, and the owner baked some of the best
biscuits and scones that Chanise had ever eaten.
She arrived a bit before Jake got there. She sat at a table in the corner, checking her phone while she waited for him to arrive. She was busy scrolling through her Twitter feed when a looming shadow passed over the table. She looked up and saw Jake standing there, holding a single red rose out to her.
“Oh my…,” she said. She rose from her seat, touching a hand to her chest. “Well, this is unexpected.”
“My father always told me,” he said, “if you don't show up for a first date with flowers, don't bother showing up at all.”
She took the rose and inhaled its sweet scent. No one had ever given her a rose before. Her husband had given her lilies since they were her favorite flower. But there was something sweet, romantic, and traditional about a rose, and it set her heart aflutter.
“You ready to order?” Jake asked, jerking a thumb over his shoulder.
“Sure.”
Chanise got into line alongside Jake, twirling the long stem of the rose between her fingertips. She glanced up at Jake out of the corner of her eye. She wasn't used to standing right beside him like this. It really made the difference in their heights stand out. He was tall enough that if he put his arms around her, his chin would easily rest on top of her head. She was short and curvy, with broad hips and quite a bit of booty, which had always done a good job in bringing the boys to her yard.
They placed their order, and then went back to sit down. Chanise ordered a light, foamy cappuccino. Jake ordered black coffee. They also ordered a couple of pastries to share.
“So,” Chanise said. “What else is there to know about you, outside of your sports career?”
“What?” Jake asked. “You don't like talking about sports?”
She shrugged. “I don't care for it. I think there's a lot of things in the world with far more value.”
“You wouldn't say that if you saw my annual salary.” Jake winked at her.
“See, there you go again.” Chanise waved a hand dismissively. “You always jump straight to bragging and chest thumping.”
“Chest thumping?” Jake frowned at her. “Are you calling me an ape?”
“Are you one?” Chanise asked, smirking at him.
Jake chuckled and leaned back in his chair. “Sometimes, I guess. But I'm working on fixing that. That's why I'm in therapy, remember?”
“I thought you were in therapy because your coach ordered it,” Chanise said. “And because you can't get taken off suspension until you're finished.”
Jake scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, well, maybe that's how it started. But, I wasn't expecting to get anything out of it, you know? Now it's like...” He leaned forward, propping his elbows on the table and looking down into his coffee. “Now it's like I'm seeing a whole new side of things. And, I dunno, I guess that's a good thing.”
Chanise smiled at him and reached over to touch his hand. “It is a good thing. It's a sign of personal growth.”
“Yeah, well, whatever.” Jake pulled away, leaning back in his chair again. “I just hope it doesn't make me go soft.”
“You keep confusing emotions with weakness. But confronting your emotions can be a source of strength.”
“How?”
“Because if you don't confront them, you let them have power over you. If all you ever do is bury your emotions and hide from them, then the darkness is winning. But if you can face what's inside, and work your way through it, then you end up a lot stronger than if you'd just run away and hide.”
“I guess you're right.” He laughed, shaking his head. “Damn! You're so much like the doc. This is starting to feel more like a therapy session than a date.”
“Sorry about that,” Chanise said. “I guess I got it from him.”
“From working with him for so long?”
“No. He's my father.”
“Ohh.” Jake rubbed his chin, looking her over. “Wow! Okay. I see it now.”
“See what?”
“You've got his eyes. Except yours are lighter. More...gentle.”
He leaned forward, staring deep into her eyes. “Like dark pools of wonder. I could spend all night staring into those eyes.”
Chanise felt her face heating up. She cleared her throat and looked away, not sure how to respond to such flattery. It had been a long time since anyone had spoken to her in such a fashion. And as much as she had loved her husband, he had never been quite so...poetic.
They chatted for more than an hour at the coffee shop, with Jake's flirtation becoming more and more bold as the coffee date went on. Chanise found her head spinning with all of the compliments. She wasn't used to getting this much attention from a man. It made her nervous, but at the same time, she found the attention flattering. And long after her coffee cup was empty, she found that she didn't quite want the date to end.
But then, she remembered that her daughter was waiting for her to come home. She had promised they would spend some time together tonight. Chanise checked the time on her phone and let out a long sigh. “I really should get going,” she said.
“Already?” Jake asked. He reached across the table and touched her hand. “But we're just getting started. Can't you stay a little bit longer?”
“I really shouldn't. My daughter is waiting for me.”
“Aww, the kid will be fine.” He gave her fingers a squeeze, grinning at her. “I thought maybe we could go back to my place for dinner and drinks. What do you think?”
“Back to your place?” Chanise asked with a frown. She pulled her hand away. “On a first date? What kind of girl do you think I am?”
“Hey, now.” Jake spread his hands apologetically. “I didn't mean anything by it. I just thought we were having a good time.”
“We were.” Chanise stood up, slinging her purse over her shoulder. “But not anymore. I guess I'll see you around.”
She headed out the door. Jake got up and hurried after her. He followed her into the parking lot. “Chanise, wait.”
“I told you, I need to go,” she said.
“I know, but...”
He grabbed her arm and spun her around, enveloping her in his strong arms. She held still, looking up at him. Being enclosed by his rock-solid arms made her feel small and vulnerable. It wasn't a feeling she was used to.
“Come on, baby,” he said, reaching up to caress her cheek. “I know you were having a good time. And I know you want me.”
“Is that so?” Chanise asked. She tried to keep an assertive tone of voice, but she felt her resolve weakening.
“Nothing wrong with giving in to your desires,” Jake said, looking deep into her eyes.
“There can be,” Chanise said. “Having a desire is one thing. Acting on it is something else.”
“Are you afraid?”
“Of you?” Chanise's eyes sparkled with amusement.
“Of yourself,” Jake said. “Of us. Of letting go of whatever this wall is that you're trying to put up between us.”
“Who says I'm putting up a wall?”
“I can see it,” Jake smirked. “Your father keeps talking to me about bringing down the walls I've been using to hide from my emotions. And I think now maybe I can see the signs in you. You're afraid of being hurt.”
“I've been hurt in the past.” She thought back to the loss of her husband. They had been married for less than a year. She had thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with him. She hadn't been prepared for his life to end so quickly.
“You can trust me,” Jake said, leaning closer.
“I don't know if I can.”
“You can.”
He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. Chanise held herself stiff for a moment, not sure if she should give in to this desire. Jake was attractive, and she found herself drawn to him. But she wasn't sure if this is what she really needed in her life, or if she was just being foolish and giving in to a simple crush.
But his lips felt so nice against hers. He started sucklin
g on her lower lip, and she melted against him, slipping her arms around his neck. She held on to him while he kissed her, his hands gliding down her sides and caressing her ample hips. He squeezed her, and a soft moan slipped from her, betraying her desires.
She pulled back, looking up at him, her eyes filled with doubt and uncertainty. “I need to go,” she whispered.
“When will I see you again?”
She tried to find her voice, fighting against her breathlessness. “I'll be in the office Thursday.”
“No,” Jake said, holding her tighter. “I don't want to wait that long. Have dinner with me. Tomorrow night.”
“I can't.”
“Why not?”
“I have my daughter.” Chanise looked away.
“So, bring her along,” Jake said. “We can all have dinner together.”
Chanise looked up at him, her lips pursed in amusement. “Really? You'd want me to bring my daughter along on our date?”
“Hey, if that's what it takes to get you to have dinner with me, I'm all for it,” Jake smirked, a victorious look on his face.
“All right,” Chanise said. “But you'd better be on your best behavior.” She jabbed a finger against his chest. “I don't need my daughter to see us getting up to any hanky-panky.”
Jake laughed. “I promise, I'll be a perfect gentleman.”
Chanise wasn't sure if Jake was even capable of acting like a true gentleman, but she decided to give him a chance to prove himself.
They shared another kiss, and then she headed for her car. Jake followed her and opened the door for her. She drove off, heading back to her father's house to pick up her daughter. Though the entire way there, she could still taste Jake's kiss, and she couldn't fight off the feeling that she should have stayed longer. No matter what she might have told him, she hadn't really wanted the date to end.
* * *
The next day, after she picked Deena up from daycare, Chanise sat her down so they could have a talk about Jake. Chanise sat on the living room couch, and Deena was in her child-sized rocking chair on the other side of the coffee table.
“Deena, baby,” Chanise said, “you remember Jake? From Grandpa's office?”